Googlemaps is getting just a bit too realistic...

1. I was flaneuring down St Albans Market Street on Google Street View whilst consulting an old
London A-Z of Muswell Hill, figuring that as they were both slightly sloany Middle Class areas one
was as as good as the other... I popped into the Pound shop though it was actually the Apple Store
and found that all they were selling were apps - all a pound, but the kind of apps you'd get in a
pound shop, like one to remind you when to take your tablets, or the one that pours liquid like out
of a can, one that acts like a Kit Kat's wrapper when you slide your finger down the foil in the
middle and a bag of shit crisps you can crush with your finger, all for one pound. And yet, I found
that although they were virtual I somehow felt less hungry. I left the online pound shop and blurred
up the road towards the O'Neils when, as it depixellated I heard someone ask me for a light. I swung
round to face East, to face a man in a puffer jacket with a blurry face. I said sure, and used the flame
app on my iphone to shine a light in his face. Inevitably he then asked, 'have you got a fag as well?'
It's been a while since I fell for that one, but I gave him one. 'I should give up, I'm coughing so
much,' I joked. ' Never mind, I haven't actually got anywhere to put this fag, what with my face
being a blur,' he replied... 'Nice weather we're having, I said - I mean, nice weather we were having
when the Google van came round.'