Poop that has to come out of my system.

1. “Things are a lot more beautiful when they’re not perfect.”

2. Marriage in two words: “Blissful. Turbulence.”

3. “Don’t you just hate it when people pass on a delicious meal and a potentially good conversation because they are ON A DIET?”

4. “I am a typical human being. I tend to shrug off people who love me.”

5. “How do we measure love? Is there such a thing as big love or small love? Or should we just take comfort in the fact that it is... love?”

6. “I do not belong anywhere. That is my gift as well as my curse.”

7. “They say we are all destined to meet 3 lovers in our lifetime. The one who will love us most. The one whom we will love most. And the one we are going to end up with.”

8. “I often miss high school. And those times when I only worried about boys and pimples.”

9. “Vito Jr. claimed that he can live happily without love. Can anyone really?”

10. “Scars are very sexy. Literally and figuratively.”

11. “Too much kindness makes monsters out of people.”

12. “If the pains motherhood doesn't make you strongerI guess nothing else will.”

13. “People's approval can be a huge gilded cage sometimes.”

14. “The most interesting people I know are the ones who laugh a lot.”

15. “Sometimes being alone can also be your fault.”

16. “Kindness doesn't necessarily make loyal friends.”

17. “The airport is the happiest place in the world. And also the saddest.”

18. “People are like movies, I only get to remember the best and worst of them.”

19. “Are zebras black with white stripes or are they white with black stripes? “I hate it when people tell me to just GOOGLE IT. “

20. “The last two minutes on my way home is when I miss them most.”

21. “No one opened until I tried knocking.”

22. “I'm always THIS close to living my best life. I wonder if I'll ever get there.”

23. “Anybody who's ever loved someone or something has a story to tell. “

24. “Whenever I'm tempted to think I know it allI get interrupted by 500,000 google search results.”

25. “I admire him for working hours under the hot sun instead of poke guns at people inside public vehicles.”

26. “A child's capacity to love amazes me.”

27. “There is no such thing as GOOD in this world. Only lesser evil.”

28. “It’s easy to lose things that we didn’t work hard for.”

29. “It's nice to go home to someone who can make you happy, nervous, angry, strong and weak all at the same time.”

30. “Like a painting, my life is made up of a few imperfect strokes and a few perfect ones.

31. “Forgive people who smoke in public places. They are probably too poor to afford an education.”

32. “Words can both be beautiful and harsh.”

33. “The secret to ruining a joke is analyzing it.”

34. “The guy next to me had an arm tattoo that looked so much like the girl beside him. What if they split?”

35. “One of the mistakes hardest to forgive is infidelity.”

36. “Slow and intermittent internet connection decreases my life expectancy by 30 minutes.”

37. “The hottest love often has the coldest end.”

38. “Jude let me blabber for a couple of minutes before telling me that he is not his twin brother, Joseph.And that he doesn't know me.”

39. “I wish to live and write like a typewriter— giving weight to every word because I can't erase everything in just one click.”

40. “Of all animals, it's us humans who are the hardest to domesticate.”

41. “For some men, HEAD is the equivalent of an extremely meaningful and significant conversation.”

42. “Some said that childbirth is the worst pain God could think of but boy they didn’t say it was worth it.”

43. “Home is indeed a place. It's that little space in between the arms of the one you love.”

44. “Contrary to popular belief money can sometimes buy happiness.”

45. DEFINE FRUSTRATION: “It’s when a Steven Seagal movie is on and the remote control suddenly went broke.”

46. “Laughter, like sex, is a universal language.”

47. “I send hundreds of messages to people over the internet but I still feel completely out of reach. I miss snail mail a lot.”

48. “M speaks Ilonggo because he had an Ilongga girlfriend.He also speaks Chinese, Japanese, Tagalog, Waray, Cebuano, Ilocano and Maranao.”

49. “I was good really at spelling until they invented Nokia. “

50. “Never say you're tired in front of people who work ten times harder than you do.”

51. “If I were a guy, the first thing I will do is run around the neighborhood with no shirt on.”

52. “Aanhin mo angbahaynabato kung angnakatira ay kuwago." I've been trying but I can't translate it in English.

53. “R gave his girlfriend plastic flowers because like his love for her, those flowers are going to last forever. WTF?

54. “The term squatter is not a place. It is a kind of person.”

55. “Talking about politics and religion is like walking on a treadmill, in heels. “

56. “It's always the waking up part that's the hardest.”

57. “To write each word as if the whole piece cannot exist without it...”

58. The best kind of love is the one that makes you want to be a better person.

59. There's no other place I would rather be. I guess that means I'm happy.

60. T never brings a girlfriend to weddings to avoid the puppy eye look-they're-so-happy-let's-get-married-next look.

61. “I don't know what's worse, saying the words I LOVE YOU too early or... too late.”

62. “There are people whom you should learn to ignore and people whom you should put in their rightful place.”

63. “Mama sent me a fifth box of ubepiaya. I dont have the heart to tell her I dont eat ubepiaya.”

64. “I saw two straight men flirting with each other.”

65. “Why do most tragedies happen to good people?”

66. The way I see it, respect is more important than love.

67. Back in college, Peanut and PR shared the same lunch table with nothing but platonic air between them. They got married eight months ago.

68. Silence is often a great way of torturing someone who has done you wrong.

69. Sometimes I am Cinderella and sometimes I am the wicked step-sister.

70. “I did some crazy things in my youth that I wasn't proud of but looking back, I wouldn't have.”

71. If you don't know how to swallow your pride, don't ever get married.”

72. “Voting makes me feel like writing my winning numbers on a lotto ticket.”

73. Always follow your heart. It's not as stupid as you think it is.

74. The internet has made the world a smaller and bigger place at the same time.

75. You think you're good until someone better shuts you up.

76. I hope my son never asks me to write his love letters like most of my male friends did. I swear he will never get laid.

77. Not being able to come up with a decent translation of "her brown highlights and wild tousled tresses" until now made me want to write an apology note to all my Filipino teachers. Damn it.

78. My acid tongue only works out well on paper.

79. I'm a bit too old to be a rebel but I still am. In more ways than one.

80. The last two minutes on my way home is when I miss him most.

81. An expensive school doesn't guarantee finesse. Good upbringing does.

82. Come to think of it, merely breathing is such a wonderful thing.

83. Sometimes it's good if you have someone or something to believe in.

84. Being nice to people doesn't guarantee that they will like you.

85. I hate it when somebody reads behind my back while I write.

86. I can't decide what's more harmful to my body... the cholesterol I get from pizza or the heartbreak I get from not eating it.

87. You would know a great thing just by looking at it once.

88. There's not much difference between a man who stole five pesos and a man who stole a million.

89. You don't beg for love. It's just not right.

90. Sometimes I feel like I'm living the pages of a romance novel. And sometimes, a horror novel.

91. Never blab about your problems with money in front of people who know how to live within their means. You're gonna get it.

92. Drunk and out of his wits, Ernie asked her how many men she slept with before him. Drunk and out of her wits, she answered... "You're No. 47."

93. ON SEX, LOVE, ANGER, PLACES and PEOPLE:I am like a flat iron. It takes me a while to warm up but when I do it takes me a while to cool down.

94. We can't subtract the good things we did from the bad things we did. It doesn't work that way.

95. If the writing world is an ocean, I am a fresh water crocodile. Why I'm still here is a curious fluke of nature.

96. I love it when I'm bored. Outrageous things follow.

97. The best kind of love is the one that makes you want to be a better person.

98. Loving a person too much is not love but self-indulgence. Or selfishness.

99. Someone slapped me once because I deserved it.

100. LOLO's LESSON ON CONTENTMENT:"Masmayadlangronsaowa." (What you have now is always better than having nothing at all.)

101. The failure of any relationship is due to the failure of communication.

102. Sadness is temporary. Unfortunately, so is happiness.

103. Loyalty can't be based on looks alone. I know a lot of ugly guys (and girls) who cheat.

104. Restraint can sometimes be a wonderful thing.