This Etiquette Dinner program is a collaboration between Career Services and Alumni Relations. Alumni, faculty and staff serve as table hosts to guide conversation and answer student questions during the 4-course meal.

1. Welcome to the 5th Annual Etiquette Dinner Presented by: Heidi Seegers, Director of Career Services Erin Jewell, Director of Alumni Relations And the Student Alumni Association

2. Welcome Introductions Hosts Table Hosts Student Alumni Association Students Please ask questions Start to finish etiquette

3. Manners Do Matter “Manners maketh man.” ~William of Wykeham (1324-1404), Founder of Winchester College “Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.” ~Clarence Thomas (1948- ), Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court

4. Why Research shows that body language, including voice, account for 38% of an overall first impression. One of the reasons employers take job candidates out to lunch is to evaluate social skills and see if a person can handle him/herself gracefully under pressure. Table manners do matter.

5. Why People judge others by their manners. We are growing up in a fast food society.

6. Why A recent poll of 520 human resource professionals conducted by the Center for Professional Excellence at York College of Pennsylvania stated: 60% of the hiring decision for new college graduates is based on assessment of the applicant’s professionalism.

7. When Business Dinners/Lunches Interviews Meeting in-laws Weddings

8. Now You Are Here If it is assigned seating, DO NOT move name tags. Everyone at the table introduces him/herself and lets others know something about him/her. Table host introduces him/herself first. If at a wedding, introduce yourself and then how you know the bride and groom. Do not assume that everyone at the table knows each other.

9. After You Are Seated Place your napkin on your lap. Your napkin should be on your lap at all times. If you need to excuse yourself at any point, say a soft “excuse me” and place your napkin in your chair, not back on the table. A napkin on the table may be seen by your server as a signal you are finished and your plate may be taken.

10. Table Setting

11. Silverware Work from the outside in. The first courses will use the outer silverware. Never allow ‘used’ silverware to rest on the table. It should always be on your plate.

12. Claiming Your Territory A few helpful mnemonic devices If your silverware is wrapped in your napkin… Fork and left are 4-letter words so forks are on the left. Spoon, knife and right are 5-letter words so spoon and knife are on the right. “Liquids to your right, solids to your left” Your drink glasses are on your right and your bread plates are on your left. O.K. Signal Your left hand forms a “b”--Your left side is “bread” Your right hand forms a “d”--Your right side is “drinks”

13. Follow The Leader Follow your hosts lead. If there is a menu, wait for him/her to pick it up and start looking. Wait until everyone at your table has been served before you begin eating. If the food is taking a while to be served, you may begin eating before it gets cold. Look to your host to determine when you may begin eating.

14. A Few Helpful Tips If you are out to eat, and the host orders ______, then you are able to order ______. Appetizer, Dessert, Alcohol, etc. (Never order alcohol during a job interview or professional lunch/dinner) Nothing is worse than watching, or being watched while eating. If the waiter asks for your order first and you do not know what to order, simply say “I don’t know yet, why don’t you start with someone else.”

15. When You Have To Order Ask for recommendations. Don’t order the most expensive or least expensive items on the menu. Once you have figured out what you want, close your menu. This signals to your server you have decided what to order.

17. Do not use “text chat” as a form of conversation (ex: LOL, BFF, OMG)Don’t bring up gossip, dominate the conversationor use foul language. This includes not using the Lord’s name in vain.

18. The Passing Game Pass to the Right. If an item is within your reach, pass to the right, refraining from helping yourself first. Passing to the right is not set in stone, so if things start moving to the left, by all means go with the flow. When passing something with a handle, such as dressings, pass with the handle facing the person so it can be easily grasped. Salt and pepper are passed as a set.

19. The Passing Game Place the butter directly on the plate, not on the bread. You want to avoid constantly asking for butter. You don’t want to butter your bread while others are waiting.

20. Soup Draw the spoon away from you and quietly sip from the side of the spoon. When you come to the bottom of the bowl, tilt it away from you and spoon out the remainder. When finished, place the spoon on the plate beneath the soup bowl.

21. First Course Soup

22. Start to Finish Guide Upon receiving an invitation,if the host asks for an RSVP, respond accordingly. Make arrangements to be there. If you can no longer attend, let the host know. What you will need to find out ahead of time: Where: Figure out how long it will take to get to your destination; parking What to wear: Find out proper attire.

23. Handshakes Across the World North America and Europe A firm handshake is appropriate. Asia and Middle East A gentler handshake; a hearty handshake can be viewed as aggressive. Islamic Countries Offering your hand to a woman is offensive. France Men and women can never shake hands too much

24. International Business Etiquette A general rule of thumb is to research the etiquette of the country you are planning to visit. Learn key phrases of the country. In Eastern Europe, when asked “How are you?”, an acceptable answer would be “Terrible” or “I’m surviving” as opposed to “Fine” or “Good. How are you?” In China, a clock should not be given as a gift as it is viewed as unlucky and signaling someone’s death.

25. International Business Etiquette In Japan, knives are not good gifts as they are seen as symbolic of cutting ties with the recipient. In the Middle East countries, a person should not use the left hand for greeting as it is seen as unclean. In Greece, Spain and Portugal, gifts with a company logo should not be given. In Australia, titles or status are unimpressive. In France, always begin a conversation with “Bonjour.” In Chile, wine is expected to be poured with the right hand.

26. International Dinner Etiquette In Spain, a business dinner may last well into the morning hours. In Germany, business is not discussed during a meal. In China, cleaning your plate means you weren’t given enough food. In Australia, alcohol is discouraged at business luncheons; in Germany and Russia, moderate drinking is acceptable.

27. Second Course Salad

28. Food To Avoid Ordering Spaghetti Chicken (fried, or bbq) Pizza Ribs Big messy sandwiches

29. A Few Tips When Eating Take bite sized portions You may be asked a question as you put food in your mouth. A smaller portion is faster to finish. When at an interview, the main focus is the interview, not eating.

30. Tips For Food Allergies and Vegetarians When you send your RSVP, let your host know ahead of time if you have food allergies or are a vegetarian. If you’re the host, check with your guests on vegetarian options or food allergies. Be polite. If there is something you don’t care to eat, just say ‘no thank you’ or do not eat it.

31. When You Are Finished Place utensils at the 4 o’clock position to signal you are done. Place napkin to the left of your plate, not on your plate. The host will pick up the tab. Do not offer or argue about the bill.

32. Third Course Entree

33. When To Make A Toast There are 2 points during a meal that a toast can be offered. Before the meal to welcome the guests. After the dessert course when the after-dinner drinks have been served.

34. How To Give A Toast Should be light-hearted, warm and humorous in tone. Personal anecdotes and words of admiration for the honored guest are appropriate. Toasting etiquette would suggest not embarrassing the guest of honor.

35. Toasting Techniques To get the group’s attention, never bang on a glass; simply stand and hold your glass in the air. The person being toasted remains seated. Don’t hold your glass in the air during your toast.

36. Toasting Techniques Following a toast, drinks are sipped, not drained. The person being toasted does not drink. Guest of honor returns a toast, thanking the host and offering their own toast.

37. After Dinner Speaker When the after dinner speaker is announced, all else ceases. There is no tittering, twittering, dithering or jittering and no side bar conversations. Finish eating and sipping coffee before the speaker begins, turn your chair toward the speaker and give the speaker your undivided attention. NO TEXTING UNDER THE TABLE!

38. Thank You Notes Recommended to be sent the next day. Mention something that was discussed during the meal. However you received the invitation is how you send the thank-you. For example: Email Invite=Email Thank You

39. Fourth Course Dessert

40. This Evening’s Menu(Thank you Sodexo!) Soup Tomato Basil Salad Crisp Greens with Mandarin Oranges and Toasted Almonds, Citrus Vinaigrette Entrée Stuffed Chicken Florentine with Roasted Red Pepper Cream, Garlic Roast Potatoes and Garden Vegetable Medley Dessert Caramel Pecan Cheesecake

41. Sources “Dining Etiquette For The Fast-Food Generation” and “Making Toasts”; Jill Bremer, Bremer Communications; bremercommunications.com “International Business Etiquette 101”; Rachel Zupek, Writer and Blogger for CareerBuilder.com “Business Etiquette Around The World”; Anthony Balderrama, Writer and Blogger for CareerBuilder.com

42. Sources “Dining Etiquette Q & A”; Career Services at Virginia Tech; www.career.vt.edu “Interview Etiquette: Manners, Meals and Interviews”; About.com “Your Professional Image”; University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire; www.uwec.edu/career “Interview Dining Etiquette”; MonsterTrak; www.monstertrak.monster.com Culture and Manners Institute; http://www.cultureandmanners.com/

43. Thank You For Attending the 5th Annual Etiquette Dinner! A special thanks to: Table Hosts Student Alumni Association Martha Potts-Bell Sheri Michaels Brett Netherton Please complete the evaluations.