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5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

       5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN &
                    WOMEN

          Discover The Secrets Of Getting Together Again!




© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved   Page 1
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

           5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN &
                        WOMEN




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© 2011 GetHerBackForGood.com - All Rights Reserved.

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© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                      Page 2
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

Resources

   1. The Ex Recovery System: Get Your Ex To Beg & Plead For You Back Again!

      Click Here Or Go To: http://getherbackforgood.com/rexrec.php




   2. M3 System: Making Up Made Easy!

      Click Here Or Go To: http://getherbackforgood.com/rm3.php




© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                      Page 3
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

Table of Contents
SECTION 1 – FOR MEN ............................................................................................................... 5
   Chapter 1 – The First Things You Absolutely Must Avoid........................................................ 5
   Chapter 2 – Learning To Live With The Break Up .................................................................... 7
   Chapter 3 – Learning To Be Yourself Again .............................................................................. 9
   Chapter 4 – When To Contact, And How Often ....................................................................... 11
   Chapter 5 – Giving It A Chance To Happen............................................................................. 13
SECTION TWO – FOR WOMEN ............................................................................................... 15
   Chapter 1 – The First Things You Absolutely Must Avoid...................................................... 15
   Chapter 2 – Learning To Live With The Break Up .................................................................. 17
   Chapter 3 – Learning To Be Yourself Again ............................................................................ 19
   Chapter 4 – When To Contact, And How Often ....................................................................... 21
   Chapter 5 – Giving It A Chance To Happen............................................................................. 23
Resources ...................................................................................................................................... 25




© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                                                               Page 4
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

SECTION 1 – FOR MEN

Chapter 1 – The First Things You Absolutely Must Avoid




OK, so it has happened. You have broken up. Your first reaction is..... That is just the point – the

first thing you need to do is avoid reacting! If you do ANYTHING right now, without thought, it is

absolutely guaranteed that what you do will be WRONG. Take whatever time you need to

THINK about the BEST way to act from now on. You can't change the past, you can only decide

what to do for the best in the days to come. If you are reacting to negative events, it is a sure

thing that matters will deteriorate even further. As with a golfer who hits an atrocious drive,

you need to clear your mind, and start again from where you are. You cannot undo what has

been done.




The biggest mistake men make in this situation is to PUSH. You are in a place of pain – the

natural reaction is to try to end the pain as quickly as possible. The problem is, your ex is in a

place of pain too. By their value system, you are the one who has failed. Rush in, press, and you

will be doing yourself untold harm. By backing off, you just give time for the initial wounds to

heal. Leave the telephone alone, don't try to seek her out in the places you know she visits, and

don't send friends as messengers to talk to her on your behalf. Leave a space.




© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                     Page 5
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

Once you have taken a day or two to let everything calm down, begin to think about building

yourself and your own life up again first. The natural thing to do is spend all of your time

thinking about her, but no good can come from that. If you sink into a depression, other areas

of your life will suffer. People have lost their jobs or let their businesses slip while they are in

this mental state, and if that happens it is only going to make matters worse. You will, in the

coming weeks, need to 're-sell' yourself as the man your ex needs back in her life. The more

positive your own life is, the better your chances of doing this.




I'm sure the last thing you want to do right now is go out and mix with other people. This is one

of those times where you will need to steel yourself to the task, and get out anyway. Make sure

that any work or social commitments are met. If one part of your life isn't working, for now,

concentrate on the others. If you become a recluse or hermit, you will be putting yourself at the

start of the slippery slope to losing everything. However bad you feel inside, get out there and

live. It is the one thing you simply must do.




© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                       Page 6
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

Chapter 2 – Learning To Live With The Break Up




Right, first things first. If there is emotional pain involved, and there invariably is when a break

up occurs, accept that it will take time to heal. Give both yourself and your ex as much space

and time as it takes. During this time, think long and hard about why she felt the need to break

it off. Realize that men and women have different value systems, and that somehow you must

have impacted on her value system in a negative way. If there is blame, let it go. It can only

serve to hold you back. Try to accept, and see her point of view.




At this moment, there is one crucially important area of your life which is not working. Although

your first reaction is to spend all of your time brooding and thinking about why this is

happening, a much better approach is to spend more time thinking about other areas of your

life, about building yourself up as a human being. This approach has the potential to give you a

better you, which you can try to 'sell' to your ex in the coming months.




If you have a job or business, get your mind on to that. Give it your best effort and your best

attention. Work on your health and fitness. If you are feeling frustrated, down and angry, put

that energy into some positive exercise. It doesn't have to be anything back breaking – just

some brisk walking can have a dramatic effect on the way you feel, while at the same time



© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                     Page 7
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

building up your health and making you more 'saleable'. Do whatever is appropriate in your

situation to make yourself a better human being.




Also, never forget that the most important person in your life is you. Whatever happens in the

future which cannot predict, you are the one who matters. Sometimes, it is right for both

parties that a relationship ends and that people move on. Maybe this will be true in your case,

and maybe it won't, but never forget that whatever happens you are the one you need to look

out for. By building yourself up as a human being, and improving the areas of your life you can

currently work on, you open yourself up to the possibility of many positive things happening in

your life. Winning your ex back is only one possibility, but it is a strong and significant

possibility, and it has happened many times.




© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                     Page 8
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

Chapter 3 – Learning To Be Yourself Again




For a while, you are going to be alone. No-one can know or predict how long that while may be,

but you are going to have to deal with it. The best way of dealing with it, of course, is to make

yourself into the best human being you are capable of becoming. Yet, we all realize there is

going to be a need for emotional comfort in the difficult days to come. One possibility which

has worked for many people is to return to what made you happy in the past.




Returning to activities which have given you pleasure in the past is a way of grounding yourself

in the familiar. It gives you a link back to happier times, and can help you adjust to your

temporary solitary life. The activity may not give you the same sense of pleasure it once did

straight away, but it will come. Remember, healing is a process which needs time. While you

are working on your life in this way, you are giving time for the immediate emotions to calm

and be healed. You are also allowing your ex to experience the same thing.




Socialising is crucially important in your quest to build up your life. Try to bring new people in to

your life as well as continuing to see old friends. Anything which moves you forward and brings

new experiences can not only aid the healing process, it can build you up as a human being and

give you a better chance of being able to sell yourself back to your ex. It is absolutely vital,

though, to retain a sense of control. Don't get sucked in to using other people as a way of

© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                      Page 9
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

getting back at your ex. That is not only totally unfair on them, it will not do anything but harm

in your quest to bring your ex back.




In the end, your ex is infinitely more likely to return to a person who is in control of their life.

For now, concentrate on improving what can be improved. No matter how low you are feeling,

do everything you can to build up your confidence. Even use a negative situation in your favor.

If there is a hobby or sport you have been wanting to try, take advantage of the new time you

have to get involved. Busy, happy people with lives that are working are attractive to the

opposite gender. Build yourself into a product worth buying before you start the salesmanship!




© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                     Page 10
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

Chapter 4 – When To Contact, And How Often




Now we come to one of the most difficult choices you will have to make. Knowing when to

contact your ex and when to back off and leave space is art you will have to master, but it is by

no means easy. It is the biggest mistake you can possibly make to pester your ex with constant

contact, yet there does need to be one piece of contact made, just to leave the door open. If

you do nothing, she may well think that you have just moved on and that is the end of it.




Just one contact, which can be by email, SMS message or even snail mail, and then leave it.

Make it clear that you regret that the break up has happened, that you will just send this one

communication and leave it at that for now, but that the door is still open to her to contact you

in the future. If you have been in regular contact, especially if that contact has been strained,

now is the time to back right off and allow her space. Don't say, however, that you will not

contact her again until she contacts you, because that will just leave you in trouble if it never

happens. Just say you will leave it for now.




This gives you the right, provided she is happy with it, to just maintain sporadic and casual

contact. Be very careful not to overdo this, but if you can send the odd short email, say on

average once a month, it just reminds her that you are still there. Make sure, whatever you do,

that the emails are upbeat and that they tell her what a wonderful time you are having. Portray

© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                  Page 11
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

your life as exciting and fun even if it isn't. Make your world appear as though it is somewhere

she would want to be.




It is critical that no mention is made of the bad times of the past, and it is even advisable to

avoid the good times. Keep the messages in the present time or the future, project the

impression of looking forward. If you can include details of some hobbies or new friends which

you have picked up since the break up, so much the better. You will be showing that you have

self control, and have moved on with your life in a positive way. Pity has a zero success rate

when it comes to winning back women, it is confidence which gives you a chance of success.




© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                   Page 12
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

Chapter 5 – Giving It A Chance To Happen




And so, we come to the final chapter, where we put everything together. Now, you will give the

reconciliation a chance to happen. It may not, it doesn't always, and if it is not meant to be

there is nothing you can do to change that. All you can do is project yourself and offer yourself

in the best way possible, and leave the rest to time and your ex. Whatever happens, the most

important thing you can do is be yourself, develop yourself as an individual, and put yourself

first.




If the relationship was of long standing, it may take some time to adjust to the idea of being

alone. Give it this time. Day by day, try to adjust to living an independent life. This is one of the

most fundamental principles of trying to win back lost love. No-one loves the needy. The more

you can become an independent individual standing on your own two feet, the better your

chances of eventually becoming part of a couple again. Ironic, but true.




The more you can bring this into your life, the more effective you will be when you do get in

touch with her from time to time. Make contact just enough to let her know that you are still

around, and that your life is working. Drop in the odd hint that you appreciated her, but make it

very subtle and low-key. Make sure that most of the communication is about how your life is

going really well, and the exciting things you are doing. If she doesn't reply, keep the contact

© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                    Page 13
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

very occasional. Once a month is about right. Maybe she is in deep thought about you. After all,

if she had decided beyond any doubt that you were not wanted, she should have asked you not

to contact her again.




The abiding principle is one of patience. Work on what you can control, and be patient with

what you can't. What you can control is yourself, so make yourself into the best you you can

possibly be. Build yourself up while you wait with patience for her emotions to heal, and for her

to decide that she wants you in her life again. Keep contact minimal, but keep yourself in her

mind. By following the principles in this book, you will give yourself the best possible chance of

winning back your lost love. If it is meant to happen, it will. I wish you all the best.




© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                  Page 14
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

SECTION TWO – FOR WOMEN



Chapter 1 – The First Things You Absolutely Must Avoid




So, you are feeling pretty rotten now. That is highly understandable. Rather than fight this

state, just let it be. There are some things which take time. It is important just to take a few

breaths and calm down, because anything you do in an emotional state is likely to be wrong. In

the first few days after the break up, do as little as you can. Above all else, don't resort to pity

and try and make him feel sorry for you. Nothing is more guaranteed to drive him further away.




All of the classic mistakes are absolutely guaranteed to drive him further away from you.

Pleading is certain not to work, and being jealous is as big a turn off as you can find. Yet, these

are the natural reactions of so many women who find themselves in this situation. By calming

down long enough to think, you give yourself a chance to avoid the classic errors which scupper

the vast majority of women's chances before they even start.




The very first step to take is a hard one, but it has to be done. Do everything you can to get your

mind off him, and on to you. You are the most important person in your world, and you need to

build yourself up. Not just so that you can have a better chance of winning back love, but also


© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                    Page 15
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

because you are worth it. When you are trying to win back love, you are embarking on a selling

job. You need to make the product you are selling, i.e. yourself, as attractive to the customer as

possible. Men are attracted to confident women who are in control of their lives, so do

everything you can to become one.




Another vital consideration is that you need to retain social life. Now, people vary considerably.

Some people are forever out at parties and social gatherings, and others are more content to sit

at home and just go out occasionally. There is no need to try to become something you are

simply not, so don't try to become a party animal if that is not who you really are. What you

must try to do is work yourself back to the level of social interaction you had before the

problems started. That will be your 'natural level', if you like. Becoming a recluse can only have

bad consequences.




© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                    Page 16
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

Chapter 2 – Learning To Live With The Break Up




The first few days after a break up are very hard. Emotions will be working overtime and you

will probably feel exhausted as well as hurt. This is the time to just reflect for a moment. The

break up has happened, and there is nothing you can do to change that. If you are still feeling a

gamut of negative emotions, just be gentle with yourself and realize that now is not the time to

try to do too much too soon. Just be calm and let emotional nature take its course.




As the first few days fade away, you can put yourself on the first rung of the ladder to recovery

by concentrating on other areas of your life which are working. It is absolutely vital not to let a

situation in one area of your life affect everything else. Losing a job or letting a business go is

not going to do your cause the slightest bit of good. Do whatever you can to keep your life

together, no matter what. It is your first step to recovery. By concentrating on something which

is working, you temporarily free your mind from pressure and give yourself a chance to

breathe.




The situation of your break up leaves you alone, and probably with more time on your hands

than you actually need. This can be a problem, as it just gives you even more reason to wallow

in mental negativity. The next task is to use that time in a productive way. Use the time that has



© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                    Page 17
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

been left to you by the break up of the relationship to develop yourself as a human being. If

there is some hobby or skill that you have always wanted to take up, now is the time to do it.




When a break up occurs, it is inevitable that much of your thinking will be on the other person.

This is where you need to try so hard to keep concentrating on yourself. You are the one who

matters here. You are the most important person in your life. Do everything within your power

to maximize yourself, both in skills which you already have, and skills which you want to learn.

For a while, just be as selfish as you need to be. The time to look after others will come in its

own good time. For now, you need yourself more than they do.




© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                   Page 18
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

Chapter 3 – Learning To Be Yourself Again




It takes time to become the person you once were before the break up occurred, and there are

no quick and easy answers. One step you can take which has worked for many people before

you is to look back on a past area of your life, certainly before the break up and possibly even

before you met for the first time. Find what gave you pleasure and return to it. It could be a

hobby, a place to visit, or just a way of getting out into nature and calming your thoughts.

Whatever it is, a link with the familiar is comforting, and it is comfort you need right now.




You are now forced into a position where you are alone. If you are not used to independent

living, now is the time to learn it. Even if you go quickly back into a relationship, either this one

or another, it will do you no harm to have experience of being alone, and coping with being

alone. See this as a stage in your development where you can learn another vital skill.

Independence can be a great thing, if you can learn how to use it.




Being independent does not mean becoming a recluse. Much the opposite. If you become an

independent being, you can organize your social life and your social calendar to suit yourself.

Even if you are feeling that you just want to be alone, it is better to make some time to get out

and have some human contact. It can stop the mind from continually looking inwards and

putting pressure on itself. Just be sure not to use social situations in the wrong way. Never use

© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                    Page 19
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

other people in an attempt to get back at your ex boyfriend. This is unethical, and may well

rebound on you.




The big key in using a very negative situation positively is to make sure that you are building up

your skills, your abilities, and your confidence as you go along. Some days will be better than

others, but you can pull through if the overall trend is positive. Make yourself into a better

human being, primarily for yourself, but also for the possibility that one day you may be able to

win back lost love, and have it stronger than before. Whatever happens, you will have

strengthened yourself, strengthened your resolve and morale, and made progress in your life.




© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                  Page 20
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

Chapter 4 – When To Contact, And How Often




When a love relationship breaks up, it has a tendency to throw the lost lover into a state of

panic. The reaction is to immediately reach for the telephone and try to talk to the other

person. That is the worst thing you can do, as they will be in no frame of mind to have a rational

conversation. It takes time. Whatever you do, leave your man in peace for now. The best course

of action is to just make one communication, and then leave it at that, at least for now.




If you have been talking constantly to your ex, and it has degenerated into the sort of emotion

filled argument which just drains both parties, then it is definitely time to back off and let it go.

Make one communication, preferably by email, SMS message or letter so that you can say

anything you want to say without interruption, and prepare what you will say in advance. Just

tell him that you realize you both need space right now, that you will not contact him for a long

time, but that you are leaving the door open for him to contact you when he wants to.




So, that is the first step, to show him that you respect his space. After this, concentrate on the

things which are working in your life. Give that space the time it needs to let the emotions calm

down a little. The best course of action is to maintain a little contact. Once a month is about

right, to start with. If no replies come, keep up this rate of communication. The chances are

that if he really didn't want to hear from you, then he would have told you so. If he replies, try

© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                    Page 21
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

to read between the lines of what he is saying, to see if you should start communicating more

often. Whatever you do, err on the side of caution unless you get a very positive response.




Make sure the communications you send are upbeat, and full of the exciting times you are

having and the fun people you are meeting. Let him see that your world is an exciting place to

be, and you are giving him a chance to want to be part of it. Try to cover a wide variety of

activities and social situations, provided of course these are real and things you are actually

doing. Where you go from there really depends on the replies, if any, which come back.




© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                  Page 22
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

Chapter 5 – Giving It A Chance To Happen




Giving lost love a chance to return starts with being who you are. After all, it is you you want

him to return to, isn't it? Any act you put on will be seen through, so just be who you are. And,

make that who you are into someone who is getting better all the time. Follow the advice in the

first four chapters of this book, and you will be giving yourself the best possible chance of

winning your love back. Whether it happens or not, you will have benefited from what you have

learned and the skills you have developed.




Men do not fall in love with the needy, or with women they pity, or women who beg, plead and

grovel. Be your own independent person and you will be giving yourself a chance. It is never

easy when he keeps coming into your thoughts all of the time, but resolve to let these thoughts

go. Resolve to keep bringing your thoughts back to yourself. As you do, you will be

strengthening these neural pathways, and the job will become easier with time. As well as

being independent, you need to project independence. This takes effort, but it could pay off

with the reward you are looking for.




Once you have refined the product you are trying to sell, namely yourself, you can then begin to

sell it. This must be done so gently that it is virtually unnoticeable. Try to keep enough contact

with him to make him curious about your life, to make him respect the way you have moved

© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                  Page 23
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

on, and to make him want to hear more from you. When the replies come, start up

conversations but don't get so enthusiastic that you spill everything in one giant email. Over-

enthusiasm will backfire. Be calm and be natural.




Once you have reached the level where you are sending and receiving regular communications,

it really is a case of just being patient and seeing where it leads. If it does lead to you getting

back together, then your man will have got lucky. He will be treating himself to a more

developed and better you. There are many cases of relationships which go bad in this way being

turned around completely using the techniques in this book. A repaired relationship can be

much stronger than the original, with two much wiser people knowing what they need to do to

make it work. I wish you every success.




© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                                     Page 24
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

Resources

   1. The Ex Recovery System: Get Your Ex To Beg & Plead For You Back Again!

      Click Here Or Go To: http://getherbackforgood.com/rexrec.php




   2. M3 System: Making Up Made Easy!

      Click Here Or Go To: http://getherbackforgood.com/rm3.php




© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved                      Page 25
5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN




© 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved   Page 26

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Get her back for good-5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN

  • 1. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN Discover The Secrets Of Getting Together Again! © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 1
  • 2. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN LEGAL NOTICE YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS WHATSOEVER TO GIVEAWAY OR SELL THIS EBOOK. It is for your personal use ONLY admin@GetHerBackForGood.com © 2011 GetHerBackForGood.com - All Rights Reserved. No part of this report may be reproduced or transmitted in any form whatsoever, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any informational storage or retrieval system without expressed written, dated and signed permission from the authors. DISCLAIMER AND/OR LEGAL NOTICES The information presented herein represents the views of the author as of the date of publication. Because of the rate with which conditions change, the author reserve the rights to alter and update their opinions based on the new conditions. This report is for informational purposes only and the author does not accept any responsibilities for any liabilities resulting from the use of this information. While every attempt has been made to verify the information provided here, the author and his resellers and affiliates cannot assume any responsibility for errors, or inaccuracies. © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 2
  • 3. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN Resources 1. The Ex Recovery System: Get Your Ex To Beg & Plead For You Back Again! Click Here Or Go To: http://getherbackforgood.com/rexrec.php 2. M3 System: Making Up Made Easy! Click Here Or Go To: http://getherbackforgood.com/rm3.php © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 3
  • 4. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN Table of Contents SECTION 1 – FOR MEN ............................................................................................................... 5 Chapter 1 – The First Things You Absolutely Must Avoid........................................................ 5 Chapter 2 – Learning To Live With The Break Up .................................................................... 7 Chapter 3 – Learning To Be Yourself Again .............................................................................. 9 Chapter 4 – When To Contact, And How Often ....................................................................... 11 Chapter 5 – Giving It A Chance To Happen............................................................................. 13 SECTION TWO – FOR WOMEN ............................................................................................... 15 Chapter 1 – The First Things You Absolutely Must Avoid...................................................... 15 Chapter 2 – Learning To Live With The Break Up .................................................................. 17 Chapter 3 – Learning To Be Yourself Again ............................................................................ 19 Chapter 4 – When To Contact, And How Often ....................................................................... 21 Chapter 5 – Giving It A Chance To Happen............................................................................. 23 Resources ...................................................................................................................................... 25 © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 4
  • 5. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN SECTION 1 – FOR MEN Chapter 1 – The First Things You Absolutely Must Avoid OK, so it has happened. You have broken up. Your first reaction is..... That is just the point – the first thing you need to do is avoid reacting! If you do ANYTHING right now, without thought, it is absolutely guaranteed that what you do will be WRONG. Take whatever time you need to THINK about the BEST way to act from now on. You can't change the past, you can only decide what to do for the best in the days to come. If you are reacting to negative events, it is a sure thing that matters will deteriorate even further. As with a golfer who hits an atrocious drive, you need to clear your mind, and start again from where you are. You cannot undo what has been done. The biggest mistake men make in this situation is to PUSH. You are in a place of pain – the natural reaction is to try to end the pain as quickly as possible. The problem is, your ex is in a place of pain too. By their value system, you are the one who has failed. Rush in, press, and you will be doing yourself untold harm. By backing off, you just give time for the initial wounds to heal. Leave the telephone alone, don't try to seek her out in the places you know she visits, and don't send friends as messengers to talk to her on your behalf. Leave a space. © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 5
  • 6. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN Once you have taken a day or two to let everything calm down, begin to think about building yourself and your own life up again first. The natural thing to do is spend all of your time thinking about her, but no good can come from that. If you sink into a depression, other areas of your life will suffer. People have lost their jobs or let their businesses slip while they are in this mental state, and if that happens it is only going to make matters worse. You will, in the coming weeks, need to 're-sell' yourself as the man your ex needs back in her life. The more positive your own life is, the better your chances of doing this. I'm sure the last thing you want to do right now is go out and mix with other people. This is one of those times where you will need to steel yourself to the task, and get out anyway. Make sure that any work or social commitments are met. If one part of your life isn't working, for now, concentrate on the others. If you become a recluse or hermit, you will be putting yourself at the start of the slippery slope to losing everything. However bad you feel inside, get out there and live. It is the one thing you simply must do. © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 6
  • 7. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN Chapter 2 – Learning To Live With The Break Up Right, first things first. If there is emotional pain involved, and there invariably is when a break up occurs, accept that it will take time to heal. Give both yourself and your ex as much space and time as it takes. During this time, think long and hard about why she felt the need to break it off. Realize that men and women have different value systems, and that somehow you must have impacted on her value system in a negative way. If there is blame, let it go. It can only serve to hold you back. Try to accept, and see her point of view. At this moment, there is one crucially important area of your life which is not working. Although your first reaction is to spend all of your time brooding and thinking about why this is happening, a much better approach is to spend more time thinking about other areas of your life, about building yourself up as a human being. This approach has the potential to give you a better you, which you can try to 'sell' to your ex in the coming months. If you have a job or business, get your mind on to that. Give it your best effort and your best attention. Work on your health and fitness. If you are feeling frustrated, down and angry, put that energy into some positive exercise. It doesn't have to be anything back breaking – just some brisk walking can have a dramatic effect on the way you feel, while at the same time © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 7
  • 8. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN building up your health and making you more 'saleable'. Do whatever is appropriate in your situation to make yourself a better human being. Also, never forget that the most important person in your life is you. Whatever happens in the future which cannot predict, you are the one who matters. Sometimes, it is right for both parties that a relationship ends and that people move on. Maybe this will be true in your case, and maybe it won't, but never forget that whatever happens you are the one you need to look out for. By building yourself up as a human being, and improving the areas of your life you can currently work on, you open yourself up to the possibility of many positive things happening in your life. Winning your ex back is only one possibility, but it is a strong and significant possibility, and it has happened many times. © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 8
  • 9. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN Chapter 3 – Learning To Be Yourself Again For a while, you are going to be alone. No-one can know or predict how long that while may be, but you are going to have to deal with it. The best way of dealing with it, of course, is to make yourself into the best human being you are capable of becoming. Yet, we all realize there is going to be a need for emotional comfort in the difficult days to come. One possibility which has worked for many people is to return to what made you happy in the past. Returning to activities which have given you pleasure in the past is a way of grounding yourself in the familiar. It gives you a link back to happier times, and can help you adjust to your temporary solitary life. The activity may not give you the same sense of pleasure it once did straight away, but it will come. Remember, healing is a process which needs time. While you are working on your life in this way, you are giving time for the immediate emotions to calm and be healed. You are also allowing your ex to experience the same thing. Socialising is crucially important in your quest to build up your life. Try to bring new people in to your life as well as continuing to see old friends. Anything which moves you forward and brings new experiences can not only aid the healing process, it can build you up as a human being and give you a better chance of being able to sell yourself back to your ex. It is absolutely vital, though, to retain a sense of control. Don't get sucked in to using other people as a way of © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 9
  • 10. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN getting back at your ex. That is not only totally unfair on them, it will not do anything but harm in your quest to bring your ex back. In the end, your ex is infinitely more likely to return to a person who is in control of their life. For now, concentrate on improving what can be improved. No matter how low you are feeling, do everything you can to build up your confidence. Even use a negative situation in your favor. If there is a hobby or sport you have been wanting to try, take advantage of the new time you have to get involved. Busy, happy people with lives that are working are attractive to the opposite gender. Build yourself into a product worth buying before you start the salesmanship! © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 10
  • 11. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN Chapter 4 – When To Contact, And How Often Now we come to one of the most difficult choices you will have to make. Knowing when to contact your ex and when to back off and leave space is art you will have to master, but it is by no means easy. It is the biggest mistake you can possibly make to pester your ex with constant contact, yet there does need to be one piece of contact made, just to leave the door open. If you do nothing, she may well think that you have just moved on and that is the end of it. Just one contact, which can be by email, SMS message or even snail mail, and then leave it. Make it clear that you regret that the break up has happened, that you will just send this one communication and leave it at that for now, but that the door is still open to her to contact you in the future. If you have been in regular contact, especially if that contact has been strained, now is the time to back right off and allow her space. Don't say, however, that you will not contact her again until she contacts you, because that will just leave you in trouble if it never happens. Just say you will leave it for now. This gives you the right, provided she is happy with it, to just maintain sporadic and casual contact. Be very careful not to overdo this, but if you can send the odd short email, say on average once a month, it just reminds her that you are still there. Make sure, whatever you do, that the emails are upbeat and that they tell her what a wonderful time you are having. Portray © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 11
  • 12. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN your life as exciting and fun even if it isn't. Make your world appear as though it is somewhere she would want to be. It is critical that no mention is made of the bad times of the past, and it is even advisable to avoid the good times. Keep the messages in the present time or the future, project the impression of looking forward. If you can include details of some hobbies or new friends which you have picked up since the break up, so much the better. You will be showing that you have self control, and have moved on with your life in a positive way. Pity has a zero success rate when it comes to winning back women, it is confidence which gives you a chance of success. © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 12
  • 13. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN Chapter 5 – Giving It A Chance To Happen And so, we come to the final chapter, where we put everything together. Now, you will give the reconciliation a chance to happen. It may not, it doesn't always, and if it is not meant to be there is nothing you can do to change that. All you can do is project yourself and offer yourself in the best way possible, and leave the rest to time and your ex. Whatever happens, the most important thing you can do is be yourself, develop yourself as an individual, and put yourself first. If the relationship was of long standing, it may take some time to adjust to the idea of being alone. Give it this time. Day by day, try to adjust to living an independent life. This is one of the most fundamental principles of trying to win back lost love. No-one loves the needy. The more you can become an independent individual standing on your own two feet, the better your chances of eventually becoming part of a couple again. Ironic, but true. The more you can bring this into your life, the more effective you will be when you do get in touch with her from time to time. Make contact just enough to let her know that you are still around, and that your life is working. Drop in the odd hint that you appreciated her, but make it very subtle and low-key. Make sure that most of the communication is about how your life is going really well, and the exciting things you are doing. If she doesn't reply, keep the contact © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 13
  • 14. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN very occasional. Once a month is about right. Maybe she is in deep thought about you. After all, if she had decided beyond any doubt that you were not wanted, she should have asked you not to contact her again. The abiding principle is one of patience. Work on what you can control, and be patient with what you can't. What you can control is yourself, so make yourself into the best you you can possibly be. Build yourself up while you wait with patience for her emotions to heal, and for her to decide that she wants you in her life again. Keep contact minimal, but keep yourself in her mind. By following the principles in this book, you will give yourself the best possible chance of winning back your lost love. If it is meant to happen, it will. I wish you all the best. © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 14
  • 15. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN SECTION TWO – FOR WOMEN Chapter 1 – The First Things You Absolutely Must Avoid So, you are feeling pretty rotten now. That is highly understandable. Rather than fight this state, just let it be. There are some things which take time. It is important just to take a few breaths and calm down, because anything you do in an emotional state is likely to be wrong. In the first few days after the break up, do as little as you can. Above all else, don't resort to pity and try and make him feel sorry for you. Nothing is more guaranteed to drive him further away. All of the classic mistakes are absolutely guaranteed to drive him further away from you. Pleading is certain not to work, and being jealous is as big a turn off as you can find. Yet, these are the natural reactions of so many women who find themselves in this situation. By calming down long enough to think, you give yourself a chance to avoid the classic errors which scupper the vast majority of women's chances before they even start. The very first step to take is a hard one, but it has to be done. Do everything you can to get your mind off him, and on to you. You are the most important person in your world, and you need to build yourself up. Not just so that you can have a better chance of winning back love, but also © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 15
  • 16. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN because you are worth it. When you are trying to win back love, you are embarking on a selling job. You need to make the product you are selling, i.e. yourself, as attractive to the customer as possible. Men are attracted to confident women who are in control of their lives, so do everything you can to become one. Another vital consideration is that you need to retain social life. Now, people vary considerably. Some people are forever out at parties and social gatherings, and others are more content to sit at home and just go out occasionally. There is no need to try to become something you are simply not, so don't try to become a party animal if that is not who you really are. What you must try to do is work yourself back to the level of social interaction you had before the problems started. That will be your 'natural level', if you like. Becoming a recluse can only have bad consequences. © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 16
  • 17. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN Chapter 2 – Learning To Live With The Break Up The first few days after a break up are very hard. Emotions will be working overtime and you will probably feel exhausted as well as hurt. This is the time to just reflect for a moment. The break up has happened, and there is nothing you can do to change that. If you are still feeling a gamut of negative emotions, just be gentle with yourself and realize that now is not the time to try to do too much too soon. Just be calm and let emotional nature take its course. As the first few days fade away, you can put yourself on the first rung of the ladder to recovery by concentrating on other areas of your life which are working. It is absolutely vital not to let a situation in one area of your life affect everything else. Losing a job or letting a business go is not going to do your cause the slightest bit of good. Do whatever you can to keep your life together, no matter what. It is your first step to recovery. By concentrating on something which is working, you temporarily free your mind from pressure and give yourself a chance to breathe. The situation of your break up leaves you alone, and probably with more time on your hands than you actually need. This can be a problem, as it just gives you even more reason to wallow in mental negativity. The next task is to use that time in a productive way. Use the time that has © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 17
  • 18. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN been left to you by the break up of the relationship to develop yourself as a human being. If there is some hobby or skill that you have always wanted to take up, now is the time to do it. When a break up occurs, it is inevitable that much of your thinking will be on the other person. This is where you need to try so hard to keep concentrating on yourself. You are the one who matters here. You are the most important person in your life. Do everything within your power to maximize yourself, both in skills which you already have, and skills which you want to learn. For a while, just be as selfish as you need to be. The time to look after others will come in its own good time. For now, you need yourself more than they do. © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 18
  • 19. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN Chapter 3 – Learning To Be Yourself Again It takes time to become the person you once were before the break up occurred, and there are no quick and easy answers. One step you can take which has worked for many people before you is to look back on a past area of your life, certainly before the break up and possibly even before you met for the first time. Find what gave you pleasure and return to it. It could be a hobby, a place to visit, or just a way of getting out into nature and calming your thoughts. Whatever it is, a link with the familiar is comforting, and it is comfort you need right now. You are now forced into a position where you are alone. If you are not used to independent living, now is the time to learn it. Even if you go quickly back into a relationship, either this one or another, it will do you no harm to have experience of being alone, and coping with being alone. See this as a stage in your development where you can learn another vital skill. Independence can be a great thing, if you can learn how to use it. Being independent does not mean becoming a recluse. Much the opposite. If you become an independent being, you can organize your social life and your social calendar to suit yourself. Even if you are feeling that you just want to be alone, it is better to make some time to get out and have some human contact. It can stop the mind from continually looking inwards and putting pressure on itself. Just be sure not to use social situations in the wrong way. Never use © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 19
  • 20. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN other people in an attempt to get back at your ex boyfriend. This is unethical, and may well rebound on you. The big key in using a very negative situation positively is to make sure that you are building up your skills, your abilities, and your confidence as you go along. Some days will be better than others, but you can pull through if the overall trend is positive. Make yourself into a better human being, primarily for yourself, but also for the possibility that one day you may be able to win back lost love, and have it stronger than before. Whatever happens, you will have strengthened yourself, strengthened your resolve and morale, and made progress in your life. © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 20
  • 21. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN Chapter 4 – When To Contact, And How Often When a love relationship breaks up, it has a tendency to throw the lost lover into a state of panic. The reaction is to immediately reach for the telephone and try to talk to the other person. That is the worst thing you can do, as they will be in no frame of mind to have a rational conversation. It takes time. Whatever you do, leave your man in peace for now. The best course of action is to just make one communication, and then leave it at that, at least for now. If you have been talking constantly to your ex, and it has degenerated into the sort of emotion filled argument which just drains both parties, then it is definitely time to back off and let it go. Make one communication, preferably by email, SMS message or letter so that you can say anything you want to say without interruption, and prepare what you will say in advance. Just tell him that you realize you both need space right now, that you will not contact him for a long time, but that you are leaving the door open for him to contact you when he wants to. So, that is the first step, to show him that you respect his space. After this, concentrate on the things which are working in your life. Give that space the time it needs to let the emotions calm down a little. The best course of action is to maintain a little contact. Once a month is about right, to start with. If no replies come, keep up this rate of communication. The chances are that if he really didn't want to hear from you, then he would have told you so. If he replies, try © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 21
  • 22. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN to read between the lines of what he is saying, to see if you should start communicating more often. Whatever you do, err on the side of caution unless you get a very positive response. Make sure the communications you send are upbeat, and full of the exciting times you are having and the fun people you are meeting. Let him see that your world is an exciting place to be, and you are giving him a chance to want to be part of it. Try to cover a wide variety of activities and social situations, provided of course these are real and things you are actually doing. Where you go from there really depends on the replies, if any, which come back. © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 22
  • 23. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN Chapter 5 – Giving It A Chance To Happen Giving lost love a chance to return starts with being who you are. After all, it is you you want him to return to, isn't it? Any act you put on will be seen through, so just be who you are. And, make that who you are into someone who is getting better all the time. Follow the advice in the first four chapters of this book, and you will be giving yourself the best possible chance of winning your love back. Whether it happens or not, you will have benefited from what you have learned and the skills you have developed. Men do not fall in love with the needy, or with women they pity, or women who beg, plead and grovel. Be your own independent person and you will be giving yourself a chance. It is never easy when he keeps coming into your thoughts all of the time, but resolve to let these thoughts go. Resolve to keep bringing your thoughts back to yourself. As you do, you will be strengthening these neural pathways, and the job will become easier with time. As well as being independent, you need to project independence. This takes effort, but it could pay off with the reward you are looking for. Once you have refined the product you are trying to sell, namely yourself, you can then begin to sell it. This must be done so gently that it is virtually unnoticeable. Try to keep enough contact with him to make him curious about your life, to make him respect the way you have moved © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 23
  • 24. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN on, and to make him want to hear more from you. When the replies come, start up conversations but don't get so enthusiastic that you spill everything in one giant email. Over- enthusiasm will backfire. Be calm and be natural. Once you have reached the level where you are sending and receiving regular communications, it really is a case of just being patient and seeing where it leads. If it does lead to you getting back together, then your man will have got lucky. He will be treating himself to a more developed and better you. There are many cases of relationships which go bad in this way being turned around completely using the techniques in this book. A repaired relationship can be much stronger than the original, with two much wiser people knowing what they need to do to make it work. I wish you every success. © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 24
  • 25. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN Resources 1. The Ex Recovery System: Get Your Ex To Beg & Plead For You Back Again! Click Here Or Go To: http://getherbackforgood.com/rexrec.php 2. M3 System: Making Up Made Easy! Click Here Or Go To: http://getherbackforgood.com/rm3.php © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 25
  • 26. 5 SECRETS OF MAKING UP FOR MEN & WOMEN © 2011, http://GetHerBackForGood.com– All Rights Reserved Page 26