1. SOC200 Marriage and Family WORKSHOP 2 “ Dating And Mate Selection” Instructor: Glenn Johnson

2. SOC200 Marriage and Family DEVOTION 1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 1 Corinthians 13:1-6, NIV

3. SOC200 Marriage and Family DEVOTION 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1Corinthians 13:1-6, NIV

4. SOC200 Marriage and Family DEVOTION and REFLECTION? How is this biblical view of love different from a secular view of romantic love? What kind of love should there be in a Christian marriage?

5. SOC200 Marriage and Family FUNCTIONS OF DATING When you first began to date, what role did your parents play in the whole scenario? How did that impact your dating experiences to come as a young adult? Looking back, what would you have done differently in your approach to dating?

6. SOC200 Marriage and Family FUNCTIONS OF DATING HISTORY Most marriages across cultures are arranged by the parents.

8. SOC200 Marriage and Family FUNCTIONS OF DATING HISTORY WORLD WAR 1 Age of Marriage Young Adult Independence Less Parental Supervision Dating For Fun

10. SOC200 Marriage and Family AMERICAN DATING “ Delights, Discontents and Dilemmas” The more time one dates another, the nature of that relationship changes, and not always the same way for each party. Laner

12. SOC200 Marriage and Family AMERICAN DATING LEVELS OF COMMITMENT Changes in Various Stages of Relationship Springer, Fournier and Olson Survey: 960 Students at Univ. of Minnesota FRIENDSHIP: Held at higher level of commitment than casual dating SERIOUS DATING & ENGAGEMENT: Men’s levels spiked WOMEN’S COMMITMENT LEVELS: Gradually increased & had higher commitment levels throughout COMMITMENT LEVELS WITH COHABITATION: Fell off for both men and women

13. SOC200 Marriage and Family AMERICAN DATING CULTURAL VARIATIONS Many cultures are now struggling with the erosion of the arranged marriage as a reliable institution with the rise of divorce. Nations with arranged marriages have typically had lower divorce rates

14. SOC200 Marriage and Family AUTHENTIC SEXUALITY SCRIPTURAL WITNESS attests to the fact that…… We are broken individuals.

15. SOC200 Marriage and Family PROJECT TEAM ASSIGNMENT “ At Seventeen” A Closer Look At Teen Angst and Personal Woundedness In The 1970’s -Watch here and read the lyrics (attached in your email) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CziYn0n6zkI&feature=related

16. SOC200 Marriage and Family AUTHENTIC SEXUALITY … Our MALENESS & FEMALENESS… … is God-blessed! -Our maleness or femaleness is how God created us and desires to know us and how we are to be known

17. SOC200 Marriage and Family AUTHENTIC SEXUALITY How would you compare this issue to the ones appearing on today’s newstands? Focus on “perfect” female body coupled with expectation of “perfect sexual performance”

18. SOC200 Marriage and Family AUTHENTIC SEXUALITY There is NEED FOR AUTHENTIC SEXUALITY expressed in….. Culture? Church?

20. SOC200 Marriage and Family AUTHENTIC SEXUALITY PREMARITAL SEX COULD BE DEFINED AS: Any physically stimulating contact designed to arouse; not just limited to intercourse. What are the physical and emotional tolls exacted by premarital sex according to the text? (pp. 67-68)

21. SOC200 Marriage and Family AUTHENTIC SEXUALITY PREMARITAL SEX US CULTURE Relativistic…”as long as you are in love”, etc. Believed Okay by 80% of American adults (Michael, 1994) PREVALANCE of PREMARITAL SEX in TEEN CULTURE (see Table 1, p. 69)

22. SOC200 Marriage and Family AUTHENTIC SEXUALITY PREMARITAL SEX

23. SOC200 Marriage and Family AUTHENTIC SEXUALITY PREMARITAL SEX ALAN GUTTMACHER INSTITUTE 25% of Sexually Active Teenage Girls Reported That Their First Sexual Intercourse Was Unwanted

26. SOC200 Marriage and Family MATE SELECTION What do we mean when we say we “ LOVE ” a cheeseburger?

27. SOC200 Marriage and Family MATE SELECTION KINDS OF LOVE EROS PHILIA STORGE AGAPE

28. SOC200 Marriage and Family MATE SELECTION In the West: Dominated by ROMANTIC LOVE FROMM: “Art to be learned” COMPATIBILITY Now a cornerstone to determine relationship strength

29. SOC200 Marriage and Family MATE SELECTION THEORIES Evolutionary: unconscious attraction Psychodynamic: impact of family system Exchange Theory: select mates based on equity Stage Theories: describe how we go through distinct stages as we develop