1. TMNews.com
Family stories: Hidden treasures
By Glenda DeFord Special to the Times-Mail
November 20, 2007
More important than the turkey or football are the memories that Thanksgiving celebrations
make and the stories that are shared.
Our celebration will be at sister Gloria’s house in Fishers. She and husband Jim will host around
20 people, including friends and family.
Baby Aiden, who is 6 months old, will get lots of kisses on his first Thanksgiving. Four-year-old
Abby will show off her new “cheetah girl” hairy leopard print skirt and vest that she and I made
one Saturday.
Swedish son-in-law Tomas will get his favorite sweet potatoes prepared by Phyllis, my mother-
in-law. (“They taste like candy!”) We are a noodle family, as opposed to a dumpling family, so
there will be plenty of those. The meal will be rounded out with many other dishes we know are
particular family favorites and some new ones. Michael, Jim’s brother, will bring spanakopita to
honor their Greek heritage. One of us may try to recreate Mamaw Justis’ persimmon pudding. A
Depression-era glass bowl that always held the cranberry sauce will be brought out and filled
again.
Gloria has told me that we will meet Chase’s girlfriend, Rachel, as well as friends of Cole and
Celeste. I know from last year that Celeste’s friend Rashid is a great potato-peeler and loves
lemon meringue pie. They all will have stories to share.
Like many families, son Kevin and his wife Jody find themselves needing to choose which
dinner to attend. Kent and I are especially happy that they will be able to be with us in Fishers.
They will have pictures from their annual Halloween party. This year I went as a larger version
of myself in 1968, complete with Kent’s class ring, and my senior yearbook, which several
party-goers signed. Kent was Red Green. Good times!
The long-lost little rocking chair that was made in 1930 by our beloved Papaw for our father has
been found and will be passed on to daughter Katie’s family on Thursday. The bottom of the
rocker is signed and dated. The chair has a high, rounded, solid back and solid sides shaped like
a duck. Every child and grandchild since has sat in that chair. Now it is Papaw’s great-great-
grandchildren who will get to use it. I hope to get pictures of Aiden and Abby in that chair, and I
will someday tell them the story of how it came to be and what a wonderful, loving person and
man of integrity Papaw was.
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2. We look forward to visiting with Grandpa Nicholas and hearing his stories, some of which have
been repeated many times. I hope to get them recorded.
One Thanksgiving, while most of the men were downstairs watching football, we were able to
catch Papaw telling stories. There was a video camera on a tripod in the corner of the living
room. A grandchild quickly turned it on. Some of the great-grandchildren were in the room,
sitting on the couch with him when he began his tale of leaving home.
Before he was married, he left Cloverdale and went to Oklahoma and Texas, thinking he might
want to live there. He worked as a cowboy for a time, walked across the panhandle of Oklahoma.
He came back home, deciding that Indiana was a better place to live.
This was a story of adventure. The story surprised us. But, his telling, in a way, gave us
permission to find our own adventures and explore our own strengths.
Storytelling helps build resiliency — problem solving skills, noncritical support and sense of
togetherness. The Clemson Extension describes family resiliency as the family’s ability to
cultivate strengths to positively meet the challenges of life.
Family storytelling helps to build unity and a sense of belonging, knowledge of family history,
positive communication and interaction between generations. Stories help us to remember, cope,
appreciate and learn.
Glenda K. DeFord, Extension educator, consumer and family sciences, writes about issues
affecting families. She welcomes comments, questions or suggestions at 275-4623 or
gdeford@purdue.edu.
Record your family history
Stories can be told not just through the spoken and written word, but also through pictures,
drawings or other art, or a collection of mementos.
Props such as mementos can also be conversation starters. So can a trip through an old house or
neighborhood, or through a scrapbook or album.
Other story prompts:
• Life when you were a teenager
• Favorite toy
• Music of your youth
• Most embarrassing moment
• First job
• Meeting a challenge or overcoming an obstacle
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3. • First date
• Family names and origins
• War
• Sights, smells, sounds and feelings associated with an event
Copyright: TMNews.com 2007
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