Swingers are everywhere, they're just not easy to see unless you get to know them. These socially adventurous couples have expanded their relationships in ways others can only dream of. This book is your guide to swingers and how to get started swinging yourself. Whether you're married or simply dating, swinging with other couples can open up a new world of romantic adventures with other swinging couples.
1. Swinging For Beginners
WHAT IS “SWINGING”?
A couple engaging in any form of sexual act is normal. It is the nature of
procreation. It is publicly accepted that sexual engagement is only done in
areas where privacy is maintained. Presently, there are different types of
intimate contact with partners. One is swinging.
Swinging is known as an act wherein singles or couples who are typically in a
committed relationship consensually agree to engage in sexual activities with
others as a form of recreation or social interaction.
WHO SWINGS?
Let us enrich our vocabulary by listing terminologies that is widely used in the
swinging community.
Lifestylers are people who are involved in swinging activities. They are called
lifestylers since swinging becomes part of their lifestyle. They may be singles
or couples. Yes! Singles are also involved in swinging.
Though majority of the people involved are couples, solo men and women are
welcome in the lifestyle.
Newbies are people who are new when it comes to the concept of swinging.
This is for first-timers weather a single individual or a couple. By practice,
newbies are subjected to the lifestyle via websites that offer swinging
services. These websites will allow you to post information about yourself and
pictures that may be sensual in nature.
Vanillas are people who are not involved in any swinging activity. It’s not
what you think; vanillas are people who are not engaged in any swinging
activities. This is only used for purpose of identification. Since most of the
time in parties and venues swinging attendees are talking about all sorts of
things. So they arbitrarily agreed that the general public who are totally out of
this lifestyle should be called vanillas.
2. WHY SWING?
People engage themselves in this lifestyle because of all sorts of reasons.
These are some of the most general reasons why people decide to swing.
People with healthy sex life would like to add another “dimension” in their
sexual engagement.
Swingers love to have a circle of people whom they can enjoy in a more
intimate level. Aside from their partner, they can be intimate to other
swingers since it is accepted in that particular forum.
The couple is interested in multi-player sexual engagement.
They like to exhibit themselves while engaged sexually with other people but
not allowing others to join.
They like a venue with sexy and warm ambiance where they can show-off
seductive clothes and are affectionate with their respective partners and in
others as well.
3. WHERE TO SWING?
There are plenty of venues to swing. You may be surprised that there are
more than what you know in your area.
ONLINE. Several swinging websites are available online. They offer dating
services like the usual couple-matching offer but the only difference is that it
has you have to create a much sexier profile.
You are encouraged by the website administrators to create an impressive
profile by posting pictures with a lot less clothes on but not nude. This will
increase the possibility of someone else to reach out and contact you. The
conversation offline is beyond the control of the site administrator; therefore,
you can make certain arrangement within yourselves.
SOCIAL GATHERINGS. We are used with formal social gatherings, this may
also be applicable to the swinging community but they do it with a notch
higher. They openly converse about their life as a couple and the topics behind
the door of their bedroom. Local lifestyle parties, meet and greets and
swinging clubs conduct the right ambience for people who would like to be
involved in the swinging lifestyle.
Swinging is for couples with strong relationship and not for those who are
already in the edge of breaking apart. It is a conjugal decision of being engaged
in this lifestyle. So before going on, talk and agree with you partner.
What Are You and Your Partner Looking For? Is Your Relationship Ready
For This? Is Your Relationship Secure Enough?
When we talk about marriage and love, there’s always a truth that surpasses
all truths. This is how it goes – take note of the way your partner talks, moves,
and acts. Mostly, take note of how your loved one acts because this is the most
important thing. As the saying goes “Action speaks louder than words.” Don’t
ever disregard this truth because doing so will only place your love life at risk.
Some couples are meant to swing but others may find this type of activity
quite controversial. As such, you first have to determine whether or not your
marriage is ready for this type of activity. As a true to life example, you’re
thinking you’re in love with someone. This person says nice words. But after
4. several months/weeks/days, you start to discover that your mate’s actions
are the exact opposite. Your partner says he has great respect for you but
rejects your comments.
If you miss to take note and ask regarding these actions, then you’re
misleading yourself in the thought that your partner will change soon. They
seldom do. And oftentimes, those who disregard the indications and cautions
would sooner end up in marriage, just to notice that their partner isn’t really
the same person whom they envision to be.
In that case, the best secret in a successful married life is finding and marrying
the most ideal and right person for you. If you want to swing, make sure that
you talk it over with your partner. The least thing you’d want is to break up
with your lover, just because you decided to swing on your own.
You have to observe and take note of his attitude and character for a long
time. Of course, there is no assurance that with this person you’ll live forever
in peace and harmony. However, we are definitely confident that taking note
of the attitude of your partner at first or early period of your relationship
could surely prevent you from a broken marriage.
Therefore, when you and your partner decide to get swing someday, make
sure that you are both ready physically, emotionally and mentally prepared.
Swinging is not really a simple decision to make. You need to think of it a lot of
times and be sure that you are ready for any future happenings in your life as
a couple.
A marriage that’s strengthened has a great chance to be successful. And as we
frequently say that a success in marriage is a collection of simple things, and a
great marriage is easy to comprehend, we often remind everyone that they
need to handle their marriage well.
Marriage, to be truly successful needs great effort. If you make your marriage
foundation full of lies – like disregarding opinion or approval of your partner
prior to swinging – then you are definitely in cold water.
Here is a final advice for those of you planning to enter into swinging – always
think positive, and make sure that you explain everything to your partner. The
5. main objective of swinging is to strengthen your relationship and not to break
it.
How Secure Are You Both Personally?
Do you feel secure with your partner? Relationships these days do not last
long anymore because of some factors, it could be insecurities, unsure feelings
towards each other or maybe not feeling secure with the partner. To make a
relationship last long, you should be sure with your partner and you should
feel secure with him or her.
Talk About Swinging with Your Partner
If there are things that are bothering and you feel the need to let your partner
know about it, you should not hesitate to tell it to him or him directly. Both of
you should be open about each other’s opinions and you should open about it.
If your partner has insecurities, assure him or her that he or she doesn’t need
to be insecure because he or she is already perfect for you.
You have to let him or her feel that he or she is enough and you have nothing
to change about him or her anymore. Also, if your partner is insecure about
something, as much as possible, you have to avoid getting your partner
reminded about it and make him or her know that he or she doesn’t have to be
insecure about anything.
Accept Your Partner for Who He or She Is
To feel secure and for your partner to feel secure with you, you both need to
accept each other including all of your flaws and imperfections. When you
learn to accept everything and love everything about your partner, you will
then feel secure with him or her and in return, he or she will also feel secure
with you.
Learn to accept the things that your partner likes even if it is none of your
interests. You have to realize that if you want to make your relationship last,
loving and accepting your partner for what he or she is and for what he or she
is yet to be is something that you should do.
6. Don’t Let Temptations Ruin Your Relationship
Today, hot men and women are everywhere. Oftentimes, this is the reason
why most relationships fail. Temptations will always be there. The only thing
you can do is to be faithful with your partner and not let temptations get in the
way of your relationship. Having quality time with each other is must in a
relationship. This way, you will have less time minding the temptations
around you.
Also, this is a great way to deepen the bond you have with your partner. More
quality time with your partner will make you take a hold of the relationship
tighter. This way, both of you will feel the security of the relationship and the
relationship will be more difficult to break.
Make the Relationship Last
It is easy to say “make the relationship last” but it is hard to do. Before you can
make the relationship last, you and your partner should already have that
security and desire to spend both of your lives together. Security in a
relationship is what makes the relationship last. Couples who do not feel
secure with each other end up breaking and look for someone else.
Always bear in mind that before you enter a relationship, you should have that
desire to make it last. That it is the relationship you will be in for the rest of
your life and your partner will be that someone you will spend the rest of your
life with. Feel secured and make it last.
Addressing Relationship Concerns
A lot of people may think that whenever they get into a relationship, it is the
conflict or perhaps the challenges they experience that would break them
apart. What these people do not know is that these obstacles they encounter
are actually what make their bond grow stronger.
Some even try their best to avoid the challenges so as to have a peaceful
relationship with their partner. However, experts would say that ignoring and
7. at the same time avoiding the conflict are the few reasons why relationships
end.
Engaging into a relationship is a choice and not an option. As what others say
“It takes two to tango”. This means that each partner needs to invest on
something for the relationship to prosper and to last long as well. There are
actually several ways on how couples can deal with the issues they have.
These would seem like guidelines on how to address their concerns.
Listen
One way to address each other’s issues is to listen to what the other partner
has to say. Each partner should listen attentively and hear out what the other
is saying so as to have a better understanding on what the issue really is
rather than just to jump into conclusions without hearing and knowing the
whole story.
Ask for solutions
Asking what the other party thinks about swininging is another way to solve
conflicts. Each partner should at least share their own opinion on how to solve
the issue. While the other is talking and sharing his/her ideas, the other
should be there to listen attentively.
Both partners should at least try to solve the issue they have at hand and if
not, they should come up with something together to address that issue.
Brain-storming as what other would call it, is a good strategy that the couple
could develop and incorporate into their relationship.
Keep a cool head
There are other couples that when they are in the verge of their emotions and
angst, they tend to make decisions that they could possibly regret for the rest
of their lives. It is best that each partner should stay calm. Good judgment is
usually clouded by the great emotions that the couple feels. It is best that
when couples talk, they both have a clear mind to think straight and to talk
about the issues so as to resolve the problem.
Accepting fault
8. Engaging in a relationship means accepting the risk. Risk in a sense that the
other might do something that would offend or hurt the partner. To address
such issue, it is best the one who is at fault should accept and not deny the act.
The key to solve this issue is through acceptance. Unless one admits and
accepts that he/she is the one that had caused their troubles, then both
couples would have the tendency to blame each other if who is really at fault.
Forgive and Let go
When the partner had admitted and accepted that it was him/her who was at
fault and who had them put into such situation, the other should forgive and
let go. Forgiving the other for what he/she has done and to let go of what had
happened. The issue or the conflict should serve as their guiding story in the
relationship and to be the basis for their relationship to grow stronger.
When these guiding principles are followed, couples will surely have a really
good foundation for their relationships. And the issues they experienced will
only be a trace of memory they can look back into and just laugh about it in
the future.
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