1. Your Positivity is Showing!
Learning How to Communicate Your Outlook
Compiled & presented by Dr. Deborah Frey
FreyWorks & Associates Cons. LLC All Rights Reserved 2012
2. How Do You Communicate Positivity?
A tip! Take a look at yourself Better yet,
take a picture!
Dress in the apparel that you might plan to wear to
an interview (or any significant meeting).
Ask someone to snap your picture while standing in
your “Good morning!” position.
Have someone take a digital picture-one shot,
from head to toe.
Most of us dislike having our photograph made, but
this is a “great shot” ;) to develop your objectivity.
3. Now, take a look!
How are you standing?
How is your posture?
Is your chin up or down?
Tummy in, shoulders straight,
eyes forward?
Is the top of your head
attached to a bungee cord
hooked to the ceiling?
You get the picture ☺
Where are your eyes?
Forward, up, down, staring
into your PDA or laptop?
4. Engage with your eyes!
Practice looking (not staring) at people—
Yes, in their eyes.
Remember the 5-second rule Beyond 5
seconds = staring
When you smile, be genuine—Smile with
your eyes.
So how do you “smile with your eyes”?
1. Engage with the person who is
communicating with you
2. Develop instant interest in what
they are saying or doing at the
moment you meet
Sincerity is seen in your eyes, not your
dental work!
Remember, some of our most beloved
entertainers engage their audience by
looking into the camera, (not at their studio).
5. What are you telling the world
with your look?
“Kick me”?, “Ignore me”?, “Humor
me”?, “Disrespect me”?
or
6. "Everyone has an invisible
sign hanging from their
neck saying, 'Make me
feel important'."
Mary Kay Ash
7. Be the Most Authentic
Version of You for Every
Person You Encounter!
Work on this now—Focus on your
attentiveness
Make your physical presence an
authentic one—at your very best!
8. “Rules of Engagement”
Arrive early at meetings & events
(timeliness = engagement)
Participate with the flow Don’t be a clock
watcher!
Be attentive & inquisitive, but not
disruptive.
9. Your Body Language =
A Very Powerful
Communication Tool
Body language is the imposing indicator
of your persona.
It is: subtle, silent, & powerful.
Display your self-assurance in your:
movements & demeanor.
Practice right now! Before you take one
more step! You will be amazed at how others
will respond.
10. Your Communication Goals:
Observe, Participate, Listen & Learn
Remember, when it comes to speaking:
1. It is not how much you speak—It is how well you
Convey your ideas
Frame your questions
2. Respect your need to know with well-framed,
powerful questions
Target your inquiries toward How, What, Why & Describe.
Think (& jot notes) before you ask to avoid questioning
the obvious only for the sake of asking. Make the question
worthwhile by demonstrating your attentiveness to details.
11. Practice Level II &
Level III Listening
Level I: Internal —We hear words of others in the context of what
they mean to us—These are filters that prevent us from taking in
all information.
Level II: Focused—Laser-focused & totally attentive on the
messenger & all possible messages. Especially useful when you
are trying to target technical aspects of a job.
Level III: Global—Embraces all messages including peripheral
images such as body language & environment. Take in the
atmosphere—How do people interact? How are duties assigned?
What kinds of activities are happening around you?
12. Open your mind!
1. We cannot see with closed eyes.
2. We cannot hear with closed ears.
3. We cannot think with a closed mind.
The Tao tells us to empty our cup so
that it may be filled each day.
Begin each day of your day with an empty cup—Begin
each morning renewed to take in as much information
as you can manage.
13. TIPS!
Never be anywhere without a reliable
(attractive, but need not to be expensive) pen & pad.
In fact, always have at least 2 pens—One
to use & one to lend. (FYI: Never ask for it
back!)
Always get enough rest to be alert &
attentive.
Resting includes having a healthy meal before
beginning your day. (Avoid heavy foods that slow you
down or have the potential to upset your system.)
15. Sources:
Huang, C. A. (1995). Mentoring: The Tao of giving and
receiving wisdom. Harper: SanFrancisco.
Whitworth, L., Kimsey-House, H., & Sandahl, P. (1998) Co-
Active Coaching: New skills for coaching people toward
success in work and life. Davies-Black Publishing: Palo
Alto, CA.