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Your Positivity is Showing!
 Learning How to Communicate Your Outlook




              Compiled & presented by       Dr. Deborah Frey
                 FreyWorks & Associates Cons. LLC   All Rights Reserved 2012
How Do You Communicate Positivity?

A tip! Take a look at yourself            Better yet,
 take a picture!
    Dress in the apparel that you might plan to wear to
    an interview (or any significant meeting).
    Ask someone to snap your picture while standing in
    your “Good morning!” position.
    Have someone take a digital picture-one shot,
    from head to toe.
    Most of us dislike having our photograph made, but
    this is a “great shot” ;) to develop your objectivity.
Now, take a look!
How are you standing?
  How is your posture?
  Is your chin up or down?
  Tummy in, shoulders straight,
  eyes forward?
  Is the top of your head
  attached to a bungee cord
  hooked to the ceiling?
You get the picture   ☺

  Where are your eyes?
  Forward, up, down, staring
  into your PDA or laptop?
Engage with your eyes!
          Practice looking (not staring) at people—
          Yes, in their eyes.
          Remember the 5-second rule           Beyond 5
          seconds = staring
          When you smile, be genuine—Smile with
          your eyes.
           So how do you “smile with your eyes”?
                1.   Engage with the person who is
                     communicating with you
                2.   Develop instant interest in what
                     they are saying or doing at the
                     moment you meet
          Sincerity is seen in your eyes, not your
          dental work!
          Remember, some of our most beloved
          entertainers engage their audience by
          looking into the camera, (not at their studio).
What are you telling the world
      with your look?

“Kick me”?, “Ignore me”?, “Humor
 me”?, “Disrespect me”?

      or
"Everyone has an invisible
  sign hanging from their
  neck saying, 'Make me
      feel important'."
                  Mary Kay Ash
Be the Most Authentic
  Version of You for Every
  Person You Encounter!

Work on this now—Focus on your
attentiveness
Make your physical presence an
authentic one—at your very best!
“Rules of Engagement”
Arrive early at meetings & events
(timeliness = engagement)
Participate with the flow Don’t be a clock
watcher!
Be attentive & inquisitive, but not
disruptive.
Your Body Language =
       A Very Powerful
     Communication Tool
Body language is the imposing indicator
of your persona.
It is: subtle, silent, & powerful.
  Display your self-assurance in your:
  movements & demeanor.
  Practice right now! Before you take one
  more step! You will be amazed at how others
  will respond.
Your Communication Goals:
 Observe, Participate, Listen & Learn

Remember, when it comes to speaking:
  1.   It is not how much you speak—It is how well you
          Convey your ideas
          Frame your questions
  2.   Respect your need to know with well-framed,
       powerful questions
        Target your inquiries toward How, What, Why & Describe.
        Think (& jot notes) before you ask to avoid questioning
        the obvious only for the sake of asking. Make the question
        worthwhile by demonstrating your attentiveness to details.
Practice Level II &
                Level III Listening
Level I: Internal —We hear words of others in the context of what
  they mean to us—These are filters that prevent us from taking in
  all information.

Level II: Focused—Laser-focused & totally attentive on the
  messenger & all possible messages. Especially useful when you
  are trying to target technical aspects of a job.

Level III: Global—Embraces all messages including peripheral
  images such as body language & environment. Take in the
  atmosphere—How do people interact? How are duties assigned?
  What kinds of activities are happening around you?
Open your mind!
1. We cannot see with closed eyes.
2. We cannot hear with closed ears.
3. We cannot think with a closed mind.

     The Tao tells us to empty our cup so
        that it may be filled each day.
Begin each day of your day with an empty cup—Begin
 each morning renewed to take in as much information
                as you can manage.
TIPS!
Never be anywhere without a reliable
(attractive, but need not to be expensive) pen & pad.

In fact, always have at least 2 pens—One
to use & one to lend. (FYI: Never ask for it
back!)
Always get enough rest to be alert &
attentive.
     Resting includes having a healthy meal before
     beginning your day. (Avoid heavy foods that slow you
     down or have the potential to upset your system.)
Got it?
Now, do it!
Sources:

Huang, C. A. (1995). Mentoring: The Tao of giving and
  receiving wisdom. Harper: SanFrancisco.
Whitworth, L., Kimsey-House, H., & Sandahl, P. (1998) Co-
  Active Coaching: New skills for coaching people toward
  success in work and life. Davies-Black Publishing: Palo
  Alto, CA.

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Communicating Positivity [Compatibility Mode]

  • 1. Your Positivity is Showing! Learning How to Communicate Your Outlook Compiled & presented by Dr. Deborah Frey FreyWorks & Associates Cons. LLC All Rights Reserved 2012
  • 2. How Do You Communicate Positivity? A tip! Take a look at yourself Better yet, take a picture! Dress in the apparel that you might plan to wear to an interview (or any significant meeting). Ask someone to snap your picture while standing in your “Good morning!” position. Have someone take a digital picture-one shot, from head to toe. Most of us dislike having our photograph made, but this is a “great shot” ;) to develop your objectivity.
  • 3. Now, take a look! How are you standing? How is your posture? Is your chin up or down? Tummy in, shoulders straight, eyes forward? Is the top of your head attached to a bungee cord hooked to the ceiling? You get the picture ☺ Where are your eyes? Forward, up, down, staring into your PDA or laptop?
  • 4. Engage with your eyes! Practice looking (not staring) at people— Yes, in their eyes. Remember the 5-second rule Beyond 5 seconds = staring When you smile, be genuine—Smile with your eyes. So how do you “smile with your eyes”? 1. Engage with the person who is communicating with you 2. Develop instant interest in what they are saying or doing at the moment you meet Sincerity is seen in your eyes, not your dental work! Remember, some of our most beloved entertainers engage their audience by looking into the camera, (not at their studio).
  • 5. What are you telling the world with your look? “Kick me”?, “Ignore me”?, “Humor me”?, “Disrespect me”? or
  • 6. "Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, 'Make me feel important'." Mary Kay Ash
  • 7. Be the Most Authentic Version of You for Every Person You Encounter! Work on this now—Focus on your attentiveness Make your physical presence an authentic one—at your very best!
  • 8. “Rules of Engagement” Arrive early at meetings & events (timeliness = engagement) Participate with the flow Don’t be a clock watcher! Be attentive & inquisitive, but not disruptive.
  • 9. Your Body Language = A Very Powerful Communication Tool Body language is the imposing indicator of your persona. It is: subtle, silent, & powerful. Display your self-assurance in your: movements & demeanor. Practice right now! Before you take one more step! You will be amazed at how others will respond.
  • 10. Your Communication Goals: Observe, Participate, Listen & Learn Remember, when it comes to speaking: 1. It is not how much you speak—It is how well you Convey your ideas Frame your questions 2. Respect your need to know with well-framed, powerful questions Target your inquiries toward How, What, Why & Describe. Think (& jot notes) before you ask to avoid questioning the obvious only for the sake of asking. Make the question worthwhile by demonstrating your attentiveness to details.
  • 11. Practice Level II & Level III Listening Level I: Internal —We hear words of others in the context of what they mean to us—These are filters that prevent us from taking in all information. Level II: Focused—Laser-focused & totally attentive on the messenger & all possible messages. Especially useful when you are trying to target technical aspects of a job. Level III: Global—Embraces all messages including peripheral images such as body language & environment. Take in the atmosphere—How do people interact? How are duties assigned? What kinds of activities are happening around you?
  • 12. Open your mind! 1. We cannot see with closed eyes. 2. We cannot hear with closed ears. 3. We cannot think with a closed mind. The Tao tells us to empty our cup so that it may be filled each day. Begin each day of your day with an empty cup—Begin each morning renewed to take in as much information as you can manage.
  • 13. TIPS! Never be anywhere without a reliable (attractive, but need not to be expensive) pen & pad. In fact, always have at least 2 pens—One to use & one to lend. (FYI: Never ask for it back!) Always get enough rest to be alert & attentive. Resting includes having a healthy meal before beginning your day. (Avoid heavy foods that slow you down or have the potential to upset your system.)
  • 15. Sources: Huang, C. A. (1995). Mentoring: The Tao of giving and receiving wisdom. Harper: SanFrancisco. Whitworth, L., Kimsey-House, H., & Sandahl, P. (1998) Co- Active Coaching: New skills for coaching people toward success in work and life. Davies-Black Publishing: Palo Alto, CA.