1. Hello! Welcome to a very special crossover college chapter: OFB
Farmstand! Like all my (un)Officially Wacky Boolprop Challenge
specials, this Plot is taken from an opera by Gilbert & Sullivan.
Unlike the other Plots I have used, non-Savoyards* have a fighting
chance of recognizing this one. This chapter covers the first two
years of Uni for our (u)OWBC girls.
While the orchestra tunes up, let’s meet the players.
*Savoyard, noun. A person who is enthusiastic and/or knowledgeable about the
operas of Gilbert & Sullivan.

2. Phoebe Shankel is the older of the two girls from my
(un)Officially Wacky Boolprop Challenge. She is named for a
character from The Yeomen of the Guard, which was set in an
Elizabethan prison. Because of that, she speaks in “thees” and
“thous,” which she correctly uses for a) family, b) close friends,
and c) people of lower social status. She also wears stripes or a
uniform, since that is what people wear in prison.
Phoebe arrived at Uni with all but two skills already maxed, and
decided to become a History major within 36 hours of setting foot
on campus.

3. Phoebe’s immediate family
Rose Shankel, her younger sister, who arrived at Uni with roughly
half her skills maxed, and who became an Economics major at the
same time as Phoebe chose History. Rose is obsessed with Miss
Manners and with behaving like a “proper lady.”
Leila Shankel, one of her older sisters. Leila works at the local
asylum and plans to become a fairy as soon as she saves enough
money to afford the surgery.
Old Adam Shankel, her father, whose brand of Wacky is
Victorianism.
Phoebe also has a mother, another older sister, a brother-in-law,
and a niece. (Not pictured.)

4. Phoebe’s extended family, found in Already in Progress
Oakapple Couderc, Old Adam’s brother and a Grilled Cheese
zombie.
Oliver Couderc, Oakapple’s husband. His sister, Sally (not
pictured), used to babysit.
Chant Couderc, Oliver and Oakapple’s grandson.
Chant’s mother, the plantsim daughter of either Oakapple or
Oliver. (She won’t say.) Chant’s mother mostly wears green.
Chant’s auntie, the plantsim daughter of either Oakapple or
Oliver. (She won’t say either.) Chant’s auntie mostly wears yellow.
Chant’s mother and auntie have odd ideas about what constitutes a
good joke.

5. Phoebe and Rose have fairly uneventful, albeit productive, lives at
college. Mornings are for working on those few skills they hadn’t
topped out yet.
Phoebe specifically rolls Wants to gain skill points, Rose doesn’t.

6. Afternoons are for building badges.
Rose specifically rolls Wants to earn Flower Arranging and
Cosmetology badges; Phoebe doesn’t.

7. Evenings are for taking care of any needs that may have dropped
too low, making phone calls to stay in touch with friends and
family, and fulfilling any available Wants to keep their aspirations
up.
Here Phoebe takes care of her Comfort, Social, and Fun meters in
one go. (And the skill boost doesn’t hurt.)

8. Both girls go to class whenever the game tells them it’s time. Since
their class bars are always fully open, thanks to their high skill
points in just about everything, they get 4.0s without even trying.
However, Rose actually rolls Wants to do homework every so
often, and I let her.
Homework is one of those things you’re Supposed To Do anyway.

9. They work out whenever the Coach comes by and yells at them,
although it’s rather pointless in Phoebe’s case, since she is fully Fit
and has maxed Body skill. Still, I guess it’s good to stay in shape,
right?

10. Phoebe has also proved herself her father’s daughter by going off
to steal back the gnome -- stolen almost a full generation ago --
twice in one night.
For those who came here from Already in Progress, Officially
Wacky Boolprop households need three plastic flamingos for each
person in the household and a gnome to guard them. It’s not
required in Uni, but I do it anyway, because it’s fun.

11. True, the college boys do seem inclined to take unfair advantage of
the new hack I installed that allows kissing on the cheek as a non-
romantic interaction, but I’m sure that will settle down shortly.
I thought the hack would make a nice replacement for the “Kiss
Kiss Darling” interaction available in Apartment Life, since I have
a Mac and therefore can’t use that EP.
So all in all, this is a very ordinary college household, with nothing
interesting going on at all.

12. Right up to the point where Phoebe got struck by lightning on her
way home from class.

13. After taking care of food, the potty, and a bath, Phoebe enlisted
Rose to help with the ol’ Fun meter.
ROSE: I’m glad you’re okay, Phoebe.
PHOEBE: I thought for an instant that ’twas the end! Yet ’twas not
without its ill effects, for I am not half so pretty as I was. On the
morrow, I will hie me to our cousin’s farm for eggplant.
ROSE: But you’re as pretty as ever, Phoebe! And don’t you need
oranges and cucumbers to make a Beauty Cocktail?
PHOEBE: Where I say “pretty,” thou wouldst say “clever,”
methinks. (fondly) Thou’rt a loved and loving sister, but mayhap a
bit more study would do thee no harm.

14. CHANT: Can I help you?
PHOEBE: Aye, an it please you. I am looking for eggplants.
CHANT (cheerfully): Well, you won’t find them in the fish
section. I’ll show you where they are.
PHOEBE: Your pardon, but are you the child of my cousin Fantine
or of my cousin Saigon?
CHANT: Yep. Why do you ask?
PHOEBE (abashed): I’faith, I know not whether to use the address
formal or the address familiar.
CHANT: I don’t mind if you want to be familiar with me.
Eggplants are right this way.

15. CHANT: These are the eggplants over here. They’re all
Mouthwatering, and the price is very reasonable. See anything you
like?
PHOEBE: (to herself) ’Sme’s breath, but I cannot answer as I
would wish! (aloud) Aye, and I thank, er, thee for thy aid.
CHANT: And I thank thee for thoust business! I hope thee enjoyest
the eggplants.
PHOEBE: (bursts out laughing) ’sme’s eyes, but thy grammar is
creative indeed!

16. And from that auspicious beginning came a beautiful friendship.
PHOEBE: Nay! Say ’tis not so!
PHOEBE: Aye, and then what?
PHOEBE: (laughs) O, Chant, I could talk with thee for hours!

17. SONG.
We sail the ocean blue,
And our saucy ship’s a beauty;
We’re sober men and true,
And attentive to our duty.

18. SONG.
When the balls whistle free
O’er the bright blue sea,
We stand to our guns all day;
When at anchor we ride
On the Portsmouth tide,
We’ve plenty of time for play.

19. SONG.
Ahoy! Ahoy!
The balls whistle free
Ahoy! Ahoy!
O’er the bright blue sea,
We stand to our guns, to our guns all day!*
* The “balls” in question are cannon balls -- get your mind out of the gutter!
Adapted from W. S. Gilbert, HMS Pinafore, act I, song 1. Available from
http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/pinafore/web_opera/pin12.html; accessed 28
May 2012. The song is reprised in act I, song 6.

20. Of course, other stuff happened too. Phoebe nearly burned the
dorm down, for starters.

21. Not all the men in the dorm had that “Kiss Kiss Darling” thing
worked out of their systems yet.

22. It actually seemed at times to be bordering on sexual harassment,
and certainly some of the girls took it that way.
On the other hand, it builds up relationships great between Sims of
the same sex or Sims who already have a relationship.

23. See?
Um…

24. Whoops?

25. PHOEBE: O, Leila! I could spend all of forever with him!
PHOEBE: Aye, he is the son of one, ’tis true. Whether our nuncle
be his grandsire or nay, I cannot say. O, but Leila! Cannot love
o’ercome all?
PHOEBE: Nay, ‘’tis no true clone! Why, none in our family have
had yellow eyes, and the ears -- !

26. PHOEBE (in a very small voice): Canst thou not be happy for me
then, Leila? Canst thou not love him, for love of me?
PHOEBE: (sadly) I would have had thee for my maid of honor
today. Still, thou must do as thy heart dictates. (more firmly) And I
must follow the dictates of mine.
(Urgent squawking from the phone)
PHOEBE: Fare thee well, sweet sister.

27. There followed some frantic phone calls.
LEILA: Poppa, you have to do something! He’s Saigon’s son! And
Saigon is Uncle Oakapple’s daughter!
LEILA: Of course I’m sure! Saigon is the Vulcan-looking one and
Fantine is the elvish-looking one!

28. OAKAPPLE: Yeah, she’s over… here. Why?

29. OLD ADAM: Hold! What is going on here?
PHOEBE: Poppa, I love him! And we are going to be married,
Poppa! Today!
OLD ADAM: Yes, I had heard that. But it will not happen. I forbid
it!

30. OLD ADAM: I’m very sorry to disparage a humble hard-working
farmer, but when you decide to marry a clone of your uncle -- !
Well, damme, I cannot condone that!
(Saigon and Fantine exchange glances -- the situation has ceased
to be amusing)

31. CHANT’S MOTHER, IN GREEN: I’m Fantine Couderc, Oliver’s
daughter. You can tell by the pointy elf ears.
CHANT’S AUNTIE, IN YELLOW: I’m Saigon Shankel,
Oakapple’s daughter. You can tell by the slanted Vulcan eyebrows.
CHANT’S MOTHER, FANTINE: Aunt Sally got our colors
backwards when we were little, but we’ve been consistent since
then.
CHANT’S AUNTIE, SAIGON: So you can remember us that way
too: “Fantine” rhymes with “green.”

32. OLD ADAM: Then I am to understand that Saigon is Fantine and
Fantine is Saigon?
(Saigon and Fantine look at each other blankly)
FANTINE: Sure, if that helps. Chant’s my son and he’s no relation
to Phoebe.
OLD ADAM: Then what objection can I possibly have? I wish you
very happy, my daughter! (glares at Chant) If you hurt her in any
way, sir, your body will never be found.
CHANT: I figured.

33. OLD ADAM: But Phoebe, dearest, I still cannot countenance a
marriage today.
PHOEBE: O, Poppa -- !
OLD ADAM: No; I am resolved. Finish your schooling, and I shall
throw you a wedding party to set all wedding parties to shame --
but you must finish your education first. No daughter of mine will
drop out of school.
PHOEBE: Squeeeeeeeeee! O, Poppa, truly thou art the best father
in all the world!

34. PHOEBE: Rose! Rose! All is well! Chant’s grandsire is not our
nuncle, and -- Why, Rose, what is wrong with thee?

35. ROSE (V.O.): Oh, Phoebe, we have to get out of here!
PHOEBE (V.O.): Why?
ROSE (V.O.): He -- In the lounge, he -- I didn’t want --
PHOEBE (V.O.) (much alarmed): Rose, what did he do?! Who
was he?! By Esme’s left arm, if he touched thee, I will feed that
reeky plume-plucked pigeon-egg his own liver and lights!
ROSE (V.O.): No, no, he didn’t touch me -- I wouldn’t let him. But
oh, Phoebe, I want to go somewhere that boys aren’t allowed!
(sniffles) Could we start a sorority, you and I?

36. PHOEBE (V.O.): If that is thy desire, then of course we shall. At
once! (mutters darkly) And a curse upon those who would dare
molest my little sister!
And that is how the second year of Uni ends, with Phoebe and
Rose starting a sorority that is strictly No Boys Allowed.

37. Which could be a something of a stumbling-block…
DMITRI SANDERS, THE DARK-HAIRED ONE: Her name is
Rose Shankel, and I can’t wait to meet her!
Until next time, Happy Simming!

38. Notes from esmeiolanthe
This special chapter was based on HMS Pinafore, which is one of
Gilbert & Sullivan’s most popular operas. I have played fast and
loose with the characters and relationships, and changed the barrier
from class to consanguinity, which is why I consider this a Plotette
rather than a real Plot. There’s a cast list on the next slide for those
who are interested.
You may have noticed that Rose has formed some definite
opinions -- and you may remember the small matter of a marriage
arranged in childhood. Does that sound like another Plotette to
anybody else?

39. Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore (comic
baritone): Split between Old Adam Shankel and Saigon Shankel
Ralph Rackstraw, Able Seaman (tenor): Split between Chant
Couderc and Fantine Couderc
Dick Deadeye, Able Seaman (bass-baritone): Leila Shankel
Josephine, The Captain’s Daughter (soprano): Phoebe Shankel
Little Buttercup, A Portsmouth Bumboat Woman (contralto):
Split between Sally Couderc, Oliver’s sister (in Chapter 41 of AiP),
Fantine Couderc and Saigon Shankel (in this chapter), and loyal
reader fuzzy_spork (in middle school)
All other characters were eliminated, as was the romantic subplot
between Captain Corcoran and Little Buttercup.

40. Just for the record, I have been consistent since Toddlerhood in
keeping Fantine in green and Saigon in yellow whenever possible.
(some outfits don’t have one color or the other as an option.) Sally
never actually switched them, because the game doesn’t allow that.
I took several clear shots of both Fantine’s and Saigon’s ears and
eyebrows over the past chapters. Unfortunately, Saigon’s eyebrows
have become less slanted over time, but Fantine’s (and Chant’s)
ears haven’t changed. I also pointed out in the entre’acte that the
defining characteristic of Vulcans is the eyebrows.
Feel free to admire my cleverness. Or at least please don’t throw
things at me for not playing fair.