Rekindling the Flame

Valentine's Day Showcase 2009

Rekindling the Flame
by DrSupremeNerd

A tale of broken hearts and passion ignited, featuring Spider Jerusalem Vetinari, Cassidy Vetinari, and Gilbert Jacquet.

A shaft of sunlight fell across Cassidy's face, rousing him from his slumber. For a moment, he considered merely rolling over
and getting more shuteye.

It occurred to him that Spider Jerusalem, his brother and roommate, wouldn't be happy if he stayed in bed, so, with an
audible groan, he tossed back the blanket and stood.

Cass made his way downstairs, fighting the urge to yawn, looking at the stairs through bleary, half-lidded eyes. He realized
that he had no idea what time it was. His stomach, however, convinced him that it was time for food.

"Finally up, huh?" Spider said, his voice muffled by the fridge.

"What's for breakfast?" Cass asked.

"Lunch," Spider replied.

"Brunch?"

"Maybe if we had eggs. Or sausage. Or bread."

"What do we have?"

Spider shrugged. "Condiments?" The bottles of ketchup and mustard rattled as he closed the refrigerator.

"We seem to have a case of bachelor-fridge-itis," Cass said, glancing around at the empty kitchen. There wasn't even a bowl
of fruit on the table, and he was well aware that the canisters normally containing coffee, sugar, and flour actually held loose
change, a hidden roll of toilet paper that Spider didn't think Cass knew about, and menus and coupons from the various food-
delivery restaurants they frequently used to supply them with meals. "You want I should order pizza?"

"Why don't you go out for lunch?" Spider asked. "It's still pretty early. I know it's the weekend, but you should be able to get a
table somewhere without too much trouble."

"Or I could just go over to the phone and call Pizza Pappiano. I mean, then I don't even have to get dressed."

"Yeah..." said Spider, his voice trailing off. "That's sort of why I suggested going out for food."

"What are you talking about?" asked Cass. There was a sinking feeling in his gut as his brain fast-forwarded through the next
few minutes and found nothing good on the road ahead.

"You've barely left the house since you moved in here with me," Spider said. "Don't get me wrong, I'd rather see Cass-the-
hermit than Cass-with-Jake, but you've gotta rejoin the world sometime. Look, just put on some pants and a shirt and go have
a burger." Spider Jerusalem knew that he had to push his brother eventually. As much as he wished Cass would push
himself, he'd had to admit that Cass couldn't do it on his own. He hoped Cassidy would forgive him.

"I can't," said Cass.

"So, what? You're just gonna go back upstairs and hole up in your room some more?"

"Maybe."

"Cass, you left your door open when you took a shower last night, and I got a whiff. Your room smells like stale feet. You're
leaving the house today if I have to drag you to the sidewalk and lock the door behind you."

"I can't," said Cass. For him, it was the beginning and the end of the argument, but he saw that it wasn't enough for his
brother. "You don't get it! What... What if..."

"What? What are you so worried about?"

"What if I run into Jake?" There. It was out. The thing Cassidy currently feared the most. It was the thought of encountering
his ex that banished all thoughts of food from his mind.

Spider sighed. Cass may have left Jake, but remnants of the toxic, doomed relationship clung to him like leeches, draining
away his vitality. "So what if you do run into him? You walked away, Cass. You realized what he is, and who he is, and you
left. If you see him, just walk away again."

"It's not that easy!" Cass insisted. "We were together for ages! Jake was the first guy who ever made me feel like I was
special. He was the first guy who ever told me he loved me! And, yeah, okay, now I realize that he didn't love me, not really,
but I believed it for a long time. Besides, whether he loved me or not, I loved him. Part of me still does. Part of me wants to
think that if I go back, he'll be different and he won't hurt me again, and that things could be like they used to be. It wasn't all
bad. When it was good, it was really good. Sometimes, he made me feel like I always wanted to feel. I know it was a lie, but I
liked living it."

"He was horrible for you!" Spider said, raising his voice as his legendary temper flared. "He treated you like crap! There are
invertebrates too good for him! You can do a million times better than that jerk!"

"I miss him," Cass said quietly. "I know what he did to me, I know what I was to him, I know that if I went back nothing would
change, and I know that he didn't even care about me, but I still miss him. I wake up alone and I remember when I didn't and
I want that again, and he'd take me back if I asked. If he promised to kiss me like he used to, I'd move into his place in a
heartbeat. I know it's stupid, but it's the truth."

"That is stupid," said Spider. "Don't you even care how badly he hurt you?"

"Of course I care. But if I see him, I'm gonna remember what I felt for him, and I won't care about what he did. I don't wanna
go back to him, and I don't want him to be able to hurt me again, but I don't think I'm strong enough to keep away if the
opportunity presents itself."

"That's why you've been hiding out in your room for a month?"

Cassidy nodded. "I thought it would be easier but it's not."

Spider knew that Cass's life hadn't been a walk in the park, but he hadn't known how damaged his big brother had been by
Jake. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Not really a whole lot you can do here," Cass said with a shrug. "This is kind of a 'me' thing."

"I still think you should go out for lunch," Spider said. "Get out and meet some people."

"Isn't that how I got in trouble in the first place? Meeting someone?"

"No one said you had to meet someone in a groping sense. Just talk to new people. If you see Jake, call me and I'll talk you
down off the ledge. But you have to get out, Cass. You can't shut yourself away forever."

"You're not going to let me off the hook for this, are you?" Cass asked. His chest tightened at the thought of going out and
trying to socialize.

"Nope," Spider said with a grin. "Now put some real clothes on and get your butt out that door."

Cassidy headed back to his room. He knew Spider was right, but that didn't mean he had to like it. Normally, Cass was a "T-
shirt and jeans" kind of guy, but today, he felt like he needed something more. Even as he pulled clothes out of the armoire,
he realized that the tailored blazer and leather pants were armor of a sort. The fabric might not have been able to keep the
world at bay and protect him from everything life had to throw at him, but he wasn't in the frame of mind to pass up even a
small boost to his confidence.

Retying his ponytail, he gave himself one last look in the mirror before heading out to a small local restaurant where he could
get lunch and encounter people who weren't Spider Jerusalem or the delivery guys.

Cass walked through the restaurant's door. He'd only been there a few times with Spider, right after the breakup, before he'd
come to the conclusion that his bedroom was safer than the outside world, but he thought that things looked different
somehow.

Hearts, and not drapery panels, dangled from the curtain rods.

The salt and pepper shakers that typically sat in the middle of the tables had been replaced by candles and roses.

The clientele seemed better-dressed than normal, wearing sport coats and dresses instead of blue jeans and polo shirts.

Even the foliage was not immune: the small potted shrubs had been carved into heart-shaped topiaries.

Cass tried to think of when he'd left Jake. It had been after the start of the new year; he could recall the New Year's party
they'd attended, where the champagne had flowed freely, and at the stroke of midnight, the traditional kiss had been followed
by a slightly slurred rendition of "Auld Lang Syne."

He'd ended things with Jake not long after that, and taken refuge with Spider Jerusalem, who had been only too glad to open
his home to his brother. It had been roughly a month since the shouting match that had left Jake fuming and Cassidy
heartbroken.

Which meant that, in all probability, today was Valentine's Day.

A day meant to be spent with a lover.

A day where, no matter where he went, he'd be surrounded by saccharine displays of affection and red hearts and chubby
diapered babies with projectile weapons, and any number of other constant reminders of what he no longer had.

He immediately dismissed the idea that Spider had known. He may have had a short fuse, but Spider was rarely cruel, and
never cruel to Cassidy.

Still--what to do? Stay, and try to brave the day alone, or admit defeat, and slink back home before anyone noticed him?

Cassidy gnawed on his thumbnail, as if that would help him make a decision.

"Single on Valentine's Day, huh?" came a calm voice from behind him.

Cass's eyes snapped open in surprise. He'd almost come to the conclusion that the best course of action was to sneak out
undetected. "Mrph?" he said.

"What?"

Cassidy removed his hand from his mouth. "Yeah. Single on Valentine's Day, that's me, all right."

"I'm sorry I startled you," said the man in the tweed blazer. "I'm Gilbert Jacquet, but most people call me Gil. I own the local
bakery."

"Cassidy," Cass responded. "Cass, I guess. I don't own a bakery." He didn't do anything, really. He lived with Spider and
mooched off of him. Before that, it had been Jake. Before that, college. Before that, a life he knew he'd never leave behind
him.

Gil smiled. "Good. I'd hate to think I was inviting a business rival to eat with me."

"What?" said Cass. "I mean, you don't even know me."

"So?" Gil said, shrugging. "I'm here because I eat lunch here every Saturday. The bakery's right up the street, and the chef
here does great specials on the weekend. I usually eat alone. You also seem to be here alone, and it seems a bit silly for
both of us to eat by ourselves when we could just as easily eat together. Especially on Valentine's Day."

"How do you know I'm not, like, a crazy person?" Cass asked. "For that matter, how do I know you're not a crazy person? Or,
like, what if we're both crazy people, and we decide to get together and go on a crime spree like in that one movie, and we
end up, like, killing people and then we get gunned down in a firefight with the FBI or something?" He paused for breath.
"Please make me stop talking now."

Gil raised an eyebrow. "I'm fairly certain I'm not crazy, but your sanity's still up for debate."

"Really I'm not nuts," Cassidy hastened to explain. "It's just, you know, there are tangents, and, um... Sometimes I go off on
them."

Gil chuckled. "Were you thinking of Natural Born Killers? Or Bonnie and Clyde?"

"One of those. Or maybe both. Or maybe Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Although I'd totally have to be the Sundance
Kid even though my name's Cassidy, 'cause you're way more 'Butch' than me." He groaned. "Seriously, please shut me up."

Gil gestured towards an empty table. "If you're eating, you're probably not talking. I got here just before you did; I haven't
even ordered yet. What do you say?"

Cass took a moment to think about it. He'd given Gil several reasons to rescind his invitation, but the other man was still
asking him to join him for lunch. Besides, it was just lunch, wasn't it? And he was only doing it so that the two of them didn't
stick out, eating alone. Right? It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Gil was friendly and kinda cute. Nothing at all
to do with that. Not a thing. "Okay," said Cassidy.

Cass felt a sudden pang of Jake-induced paranoia. "Hey, this is just lunch, right? 'Cause if you try anything funny, I... I'll...
Uh... I'll think of something bad, and then I'll do it! For real. I'm not kidding." Maybe he should take lessons in threatening
people from Spider Jerusalem.

"Well, now that you mention it..." Gilbert leaned forward. "I gave their pastry chef my recipe for tiramisu, and I was going to
suggest that you try a piece," he said in a conspiratorial whisper. "But I didn't know you had such strong feelings against
dessert."

Cass sighed. "I'm sorry. I promise I'm really, honestly not crazy. I just... I'm tired of making bad decisions."

"It's all right." Gil waved towards the table. "Shall we sit before they decide I really didn't want that table after all?"

"Sure," said a relieved Cassidy.

"They've got their special Valentine's Day menu today," Gil said as Cassidy pulled out the chair and sat. "The specials are
pork chops, filet mignon, and lobster thermidor."

"Fancy schmancy," said Cass. "And here I was just going to order a pizza when I got up this morning."

"The filet's good, but the lobster's shipped from Maine," Gilbert said. "Fresh is always better than frozen, in my opinion. The
salmon's good, though. Farm-raised upstate, always fresh. Not as good as wild salmon, of course, but there aren't a lot of
salmon-containing rivers around here."

Cass relaxed. This was normal conversation. Friendly chit-chat. He was pretty sure he remembered how it went. "I went to
Maine once with my ex. We got some lobster fresh off the boat. It was excellent." He winced at his mention of Jake.

Gil ignored the gesture. "The scallops are good on the East Coast too. So tender they almost melt in your mouth. I'd almost
decided on having the turkey today, myself."

The waiter came and took their order. Gil chose the turkey; Cass opted for the salmon.

"So," Gil said once the waiter had gone, "lost track of time, did you?"

"You mean the part where I didn't realize that today was Valentine's Day, and ventured out in public without someone hanging
on my arm? Yes. I suppose you could say that I lost track of time."

"You did look a bit lost at sea, although I find it hard to believe that anyone could forget about Valentine's Day when there are
hearts and chocolates and cupids in every store window in the country."

"I, uh... haven't been out much lately," Cass said. "And I haven't really been watching TV, so I guess I've missed all the
diamond and chocolate commercials."

"I know we've only just met, but you don't strike me as the type of guy who sits at home every day and every night, knitting
sweaters for your fifty-two cats," said Gil.

"I didn't used to be," Cass said, remembering the crazy toga parties in college, the nights where he'd stayed up dancing until
he was ready to drop, the Events he used to attend with Jake, those big parties that required the capital 'E' on Events.

"What happened?" Gil asked.

"Things changed. I changed."

"I can't believe you've never had the salmon here," Gil said, neatly changing the subject. "You must have your usual dish
every time you come in."

"I haven't been in much," Cass replied. "Maybe three times. I've had a couple of burgers and a good cheesesteak."

"Only three times? You're not a long-time resident of the neighborhood, then. I didn't think you were; I know all the natives."

"I moved here a little over a month ago," Cass said. "I lived downtown for quite a while. I really liked it. The hustle and bustle
of the big city, being able to get anything I wanted at any time, all the energy and the people..." He wondered why all
conversations seemed to lead to Jake.

"I know what you mean," Gil said, grinning. "I went to culinary school in New York City, and trained under a pastry chef in
Paris. There's nothing quite like a red-hot from a hot dog cart, or a warm croissant fresh from the oven." He cocked his head.
"If you liked it so well, why'd you leave?"

"I moved in with my brother." Cass deliberately avoided the question. "Spider."

"Your brother's a spider?" Gil asked, his brow furrowing with confusion.

"My brother's name is Spider Jerusalem," Cass said. "He's my half-brother, really. He's as human as me."

Gil gave Cassidy a strange look. "More human, perhaps?"

Cass thought about it. " 'Bout the same, actually."

The waiter returned, bearing a pair of plates from which luscious aromas wafted.

"What made you move in with your brother?" Gil asked, speaking around a mouthful of mashed potatoes.

"Like I said: I changed." Cass took a bite of his salmon. It was perfectly cooked, and delicately seasoned with lemon and dill.

Cass watched with amusement as Gil shoveled food into his mouth at top speed. Just when he thought the man's mouth
must be completely full, he crammed a dinner roll in whole. "Good turkey?" he asked.

Gilbert swallowed several times. "Sorry. My mother says I've got the table manners of a ravenous hyena."

Cassidy considered the late-night wildlife documentaries he'd been watching. Even hyenas weren't as messy as Gilbert. "I
don't think that's very true," he said honestly.

"That's kind of you to say," said Gilbert. "You've got a little something on your lapel."

Cass looked down and saw a bit of stuffing on his jacket. He picked it off carefully and held it out. "Did you want this back?"

Gil took the small wad of stuffing, flipped it off his thumb, and caught it in his mouth. "I can't decide what's in the dressing. I
can taste the cornbread, and the sage, and the raisins..."

"Mind if I taste?" Cass asked, waving his fork at the stuffing.

"Help yourself," Gil replied. "Better get some now before it's gone!"

"Two more bites?" Cass guessed.

"Probably. Maybe three."

Cass took a bite of the stuffing. He could taste the cornbread and the sage, and a golden raisin squished between his teeth.
Gil was right, though, there was something else in the mix. "I think it's dried apples," he said.

"That may be," said Gil. "It was something sweet like apples, anyway."

"I bet it is," Cass said. "I had stuffing with dried apples once. Thanksgiving. My mom..." The memory was clear as day. A juicy
turkey, mashed potatoes with just a hint of garlic and white cheddar cheese, sweet potato casserole with little marshmallows
on top, fluffy biscuits, tart-and-sweet cranberry relish, the awful green bean casserole topped with fried onions that no one
ever ate but that always got made, and of course, homemade cornbread stuffing with raisins and apples and even little bits of
sausage. She'd let him mix the stuffing, and he'd been so proud of his contribution.

"Your mom?" asked Gil, cramming his mouth full again. "Aren't you half-alien?"

Cass nodded. "She was my stepmom, I guess. But she was the only mom I ever had."

"What happened? Did she and your dad split up?"

"She died." Cass hoped that Gil wouldn't ask about it.

Gil straightened and wiped gravy off his chin. "I'm sorry. My dad died not long ago. I know how much it hurts. Was it an
accident?"

Cass looked out the window, where stormclouds were beginning to gather. "It was pretty much an on-purpose."

"I don't understand," said Gil.

Taking another bite of food, Cass chewed it slowly. A lot of time had passed, but it still hurt, and it was never easy to talk
about. "Dad's not a nice guy. In fact, he's kind of a raging nutball. My brother? The one who's as human as me? He's a
Reaper Child. Dad wanted to impregnate himself by the Grim Reaper, and he murdered Mom to do it. I was a teenager, and I
knew what was going on, and I ended up taking care of Spider by myself because Dad threatened to kill me if I didn't.
Eventually Dad and I got into a huge fight and I left for college. Spider forgave me for it, but I don't know if I'll ever forgive
myself. He was just a kid, and I left him there. I just... didn't want to die."

"You can't blame yourself for that," Gil said. "It wasn't your fault. You did what you had to do to take care of yourself.
Sometimes, that's the only thing you can do. It sounds like your brother understands why you went away, so there's no
reason to be hard on yourself for it. Your father did terrible things, but they're on his conscience, not yours--if he even has
one."

Cassidy looked across the table, trying to determine if Gil making a joke at his expense. All he saw in Gilbert's brilliant green
eyes was kindness and honesty, and perhaps even a touch of sympathy.

It wasn't a sight Cass was used to.

Gil gobbled down the last of his turkey. "So. College. That must have been fun."

Cass shrugged. "It was college. Go to class, throw parties, find cute boys, date them. When the parties and the dating cute
boys interfere with the going to class, a little of the hanky-panky with the professor gets the grade back up."

"That sounds a bit unethical," Gil said.

"When your dad's the Mayor of Crazytown, your moral compass doesn't always point due north," Cass said. "I mean, I try my
best not to do anything blatantly illegal, but sometimes stuff slips through the cracks."

Gil dabbed the rest of his lunch off of his face, crumpled the napkin, and tossed it onto his plate. "Let me see if I can guess
the next part of the story. You and a bunch of your college chums decided to head to the city to seek your fortunes, and got a
loft apartment in a hip and trendy part of town. You ended up working as a waiter while trying to finish your novel, and your
roommates worked as waiters trying to break into acting, music, and modeling. You knew the right people to get you into all
the clubs, and you danced until the wee hours before stumbling home and falling asleep in your clothes. Finally, you finished
your novel, but the publishers rejected it, and, feeling the crushing despair, you left the harsh lights of the city for the comforts
of home."

"That sounds like a really nice story," said Cass. "I sort of wished I'd lived it."

"No burgeoning writing career?" Gil asked.

"Maybe a horror story," Cass said. "My autobiography."

"What happened? What made you move to the city?"

Rain started to splatter against the window. Cass wondered when the weather had started reading his moods and reacting
accordingly.

"I dated a lot of guys in college," Cass said. "But never anything serious. I just wanted to have fun, you know? I always made
sure we were both clear that it was just a fling. Sometimes, all you really want is to feel close to someone. I knew that all I
was doing was trying to feel like someone wanted me and needed me, and maybe that wasn't the best way to go about it, but
it's not like I knew any better. And then..."

"What?" Gil asked gently.

"I met Jake."

"The man who done you wrong?"

"There was definitely wrong done," Cass admitted. "Much wrong."

"It doesn't seem like you needed more wrong done to you." Gilbert could see the sad tale in Cassidy's liquid black eyes.

Cass continued to eat, though the formerly-delicious salmon tasted of nothing and sat in his stomach like a brick. "I was out
dancing, and when he came up to me, I thought I'd hit the jackpot. I mean, he was good-looking, and well-dressed, and he
wasn't shy about flashing a large wad of cash. I never would have guessed that he'd hit on a guy like me, but he did. He
could have had any man in the place, but he wanted me. It was the first time someone like him had ever pursued me, and it
was such an ego boost. I was flattered by the attention. I'm not proud of it, but I'd have gone home with him that night if he'd
asked me. He didn't, though, just took my phone number and said he'd call me."

"So you figured that was the end of it," Gil said. "He was just playing with you that night, he'd had his fun, and he wouldn't
bother to call."

Cass nodded. "Wouldn't be the first time that had happened. You know, flirting with the green guy seems like a good idea
after a couple umbrella drinks, but the next morning, senses are come to and phone numbers are lost. I get it. I never took it
personally. It wasn't like I was looking for anything serious anyway."

"But he called."

"Called and asked me to dinner," Cass said. "To one of those restaurants with a two-month waiting list to get a reservation,
where it costs twenty bucks for an appetizer you eat in two bites."

"I know the type," Gil said. "I've worked in a few of those, come to think of it."

"He asked me all the right questions," said Cassidy. "Made all the right noises in all the right places. Jake was so focused on
me that I felt like the most important person in the world. I hadn't felt that way since the day Spider said his first word, and
that word was 'Cassy.' Jake was so sophisticated; he knew which expensive wines went with which dishes. His shoes were
handmade in Italy. He spoke French to the waiter."

"And here's this guy who's rich, urbane, and suave, and he's paying attention to a half-alien college student who probably got
his entire outfit for under a hundred bucks, so of course you feel special. Both of you reach for something at the same time,
and his hand brushes yours, not long enough to be creepy, but long enough that you know he was looking for an excuse to
touch you."

"Wineglass," said Cass. "Just his fingertips on the back of my hand."

"He didn't ask you home that night either," Gil guessed.

"No. He said he'd call me. I figured that meant I'd messed up, or that he'd realized he'd gone on a date with some broke
college kid. The next day, he didn't call, so I shrugged it off and told myself that at least I'd gotten a really nice dinner out of it.
The day after that, he called. I heard his voice and it was like I'd been holding my breath for two days and finally got some
fresh air. He asked me to an art exhibition at a gallery. There was no way I was saying no to him, but I knew I didn't have the
clothes for it, and I told him so. He said he'd come over and pick me up and take me shopping, so I said that the real issue
was that I didn't have the cash for the wardrobe. He offered to buy me a good suit. I didn't want to turn him down. He came
over, and took me to this little store where even the air was expensive, and the shoes alone cost more than my entire
wardrobe."

"After two dates, he was showering you with expensive gifts? Didn't that seem suspicious?"

"It made me feel important," Cass said simply. "I wanted that. I mean, I got a nice suit, and I got to go to a party I'd never
have been able to get into if I hadn't been with Jake, and I got to drink free champagne and eat bits of food on toothpicks,
and people who wouldn't have looked twice at me normally were talking to me because of Jake. I was a somebody, and he
was the reason."

"That was the only thing that mattered?"

Cassidy pushed the last few bites around on his plate, trying to decide if he wanted to eat them. "Jake was older than me. An
older man had never paid me the kind of attention that he did. Once he started pursuing me, I craved him. And he knew it.
After the gallery party, he kissed me goodnight, and I was hooked."

"You make it sound like a drug," Gil said.

"It was. He was. When he didn't call me, I drove myself nuts trying to figure out what I'd done wrong. When he did call me, it
was like everything got a little brighter. When he touched me, even just a casual thing, it gave me a rush. When he kissed
me, I couldn't even think straight. I wanted Jake more than I'd ever wanted anything."

"Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it?"

Cass nodded sadly.

He finished his fish before continuing. "Jake would ask me out a few times a week. Most of the time, he'd bring me gifts. They
were always expensive. We were dating for over a month before he asked me home with him. By then, I'd imagined it so
many times that I was convinced reality wouldn't possibly measure up, but it did. Surpassed it, even. And, let's face it, at that
point, I wasn't exactly new to the between-the-sheets stuff. I stayed the night, and we spent most of the next day in bed. He
told me there was no one else like me. He told me I was special. He told me he'd give me anything I wanted. He told me he
loved me, and he told me that no one else would ever love me like he did."

"He knew just which buttons to push, didn't he?" Gilbert's tone was kind, and without judgment. "Clearly, he's very good at
what he does."

"Jake does nothing badly," Cass said. "He read me like a book. I started spending more and more time with him, being his
date to parties or just being seen with him. I was already head-over-heels in love with him. I'd have done anything for him,
whether he kept giving me expensive things or not. Whatever he asked, I did."

"Why?"

"Because I loved him. Because he said he loved me."

"When I graduated from college, I moved to the city, to his place," Cass said. "He told me not to even bother bringing my clothes or my
box of worldly possessions. I did, of course, but he had a whole closet full of expensive clothes waiting for me. And a plasma TV as a
graduation present."

"That's when things went from bad to worse?"

"I didn't see it that way. If Jake made more demands on me after I moved in with him, I was okay with that. I loved him, he loved me, and
didn't I owe him for all the things he gave to me?"

"Gifts don't come with a price tag," said Gil.

"All I saw was someone who thought enough of me to give me nice things. I wanted to give him something back, so anything he asked, I
did. It was the least I could do, right?"

"Anything?"

"Uh-huh," said Cass.

"Cass? Did he ever hurt you? Physically, I mean." The concern in Gilbert's voice was mirrored in his eyes.

Cass rubbed the back of his neck. Spider had asked the same question, and he'd lied--one of the few lies he'd ever told his
brother. He'd known that if he told Spider the truth, Spider would have gone after Jake. Cass had just wanted to put Jake
behind him, and the lie had been easier than siccing his angry brother on his ex. "He didn't mean it. He never, you know, hit
me or anything. He wanted me, and sometimes it was like he forgot I was flesh and blood, just like anyone else. It wasn't on
purpose. He always apologized when he realized he'd bruised me. When he felt really bad, he'd buy me something to make
up for it. Pinball machine. Pool table. Video game system. Another plasma TV. He was always nice to me after. And it was
only because he wanted me."

"You didn't leave him even after he hurt you? Why would you stay with someone who didn't treat you like a person?"

"He said he loved me. I wanted to believe it. He was better to me than anyone else had been, so what did it matter if he
wouldn't let me see my brother, or really only said he loved me when I'd done something he wanted me to do? At least he
said it."

"Have you ever loved someone so much that you saw only what you wanted to see? Ever wanted something to be true so
badly that you believed it even when all the evidence was screaming that you were wrong? I knew that Jake was just using
me. But he said he loved me, and I needed to believe that. I thought it was better to have someone say he loved me and be
a liar than to not have anyone say it at all. I was wrong."

"What happened?" Gil asked. "Obviously you're not together anymore."

"He didn't dump me, if that's what you're thinking," Cass replied. "I walked out on him and my only regret's that I didn't do it
sooner."

"He must have done something really awful to open your eyes to what he was."

Cass wrapped his arms tightly around himself. The wound was still raw. "I came home one day and found him in bed--in our
bed--with someone else. That's when I knew. Because when you love someone, when you really love them, you don't want
anyone else. At least I didn't. Jake would take me to parties and guys would hit on me and I'd turn them down because I
loved him and I didn't want anyone but him. And then I saw him with someone else, and I felt so betrayed, and so foolish that
I'd let myself be blinded. When the blinders came off, I knew I had to leave."

"That's horrible," said Gil. "I'm sorry. What was the damage?"

"A couple of mirrors, the plasma TV in the bedroom, and most of the glasses from the bar," Cass said.

"Ouch. Those TVs aren't cheap."

"Yeah. I guess I wasn't supposed to duck. I mean, at least when I threw stuff, I wasn't aiming at him, but he whipped that
glass right at me. I broke the mirrors, though. But I figure since it was his fault I was so mad, he's the one gets the seven
years' bad luck."

"I think you've had your share of bad luck already."

"Maybe. I don't even remember what I was shouting, but I could barely talk for three days afterwards. Jake, though... He said
some pretty awful things when he realized that an apology and something shiny with a big price tag wouldn't get me back.
Said he'd never loved me. Said no one ever would. Said I wasn't worth what he'd spent on me."

"Of course you aren't," Gil said. He noticed the hurt look that immediately crossed Cassidy's face. "I've always thought that
people are priceless," Gil said with a warm smile. "Real, honest love can't be bought and sold, and doesn't come with strings
attached." Cass's eyes brightened at the words. "You're not the only one who's ever made a mistake when it comes to
romance. The trick is to learn from your mistakes, and not make the same ones again. Eventually, you get it right."

"Thanks for listening to my sob story," Cass said. "I'm sure when you invited me to eat lunch with you, you weren't intending
to hear Cass Vetinari: A Romantic Tragedy in Four Acts. Even my brother doesn't know some of the stuff I just told you."

"Sometimes you just need to talk to a willing listener," Gil said. "I'm told I'm quite good at sitting quietly and letting people talk
at me."

"You are," said Cass, a ghost of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Maybe it was easier because I don't really know
you."

"How would you like to?" Gil asked. "There's a club just down the road. The bartender's top-notch and the DJ's pretty good."

"Don't you have to get back to work?"

Gil shrugged. "I own the place. If I'm late getting back from lunch, I'll be sure to give myself a very stern warning, and
threaten to dock my pay if it happens again."

"I just... I don't know if I'm ready for this," Cass said.

"Ready for what? Dancing? It's easy, really. You seem to have all your limbs intact, so what you do is you move them in a
rhythmical fashion, while other people around you do the same thing. It can be quite fun."

"I can dance," Cass said wryly. "I don't know if I'm ready for people. Or person, I guess. I mean, you're nice, but I'm kind of a
wreck, and I'm not really sure what your intention is here, and this is confusion I really, really don't need right now."

"It's your choice," said Gil. "How 'bout this--if you decide to come, and at any point you want to leave, you can. No pleas, no
hard feelings, you can just get up and walk away."

Cass considered the offer. He did like dancing, after all. "Okay. I'll come."

"I'm glad," Gil said. The smile on his face was genuine, touching his eyes as well as his mouth.

The waiter came and cleared their plates, leaving the check behind.

"I guess I won't be ordering any dessert," said Cass.

Both men reached for the check at the same time.

It almost felt like an electric charge going up Cassidy's arm.

"I've got it," said Gil.

The words took a few seconds to register in Cass's brain. "What? No, let me. I made you listen to my whole life story; the
least I could do is pick up the tab." He was almost afraid to move his hand, not wanting the touch to end.

"Call it a gift," Gil said. "A real gift. One that doesn't have to be repaid. It doesn't seem like you've had many, and everyone
deserves at least a few."

"Thanks," said Cass.

Gil slid the piece of paper towards himself, breaking the contact between the two of them. He placed his credit card on top of
it, and the waiter whisked it up as he passed by the table. When the waiter returned, Gil scrawled his name on the receipt,
and flashed Cassidy a bright smile. "Shall we go?"

Cass followed Gil into the club. They'd been able to hear the thumping bass music from the sidewalk, and the colored lights
in the ceiling turned Cassidy's skin nearly white.

Even as early as it was, there was a crowd of people on the dance floor, and the DJ kept them energized with his selection of
dance music.

"The bar's upstairs!" Gil shouted over the music. "Care for a drink?"

Cass looked at the dancing crowd. "Sure!"

"Drinks are on me," said Cass.

"You don't have to do that," Gil replied.

"Consider it a gift. Everybody deserves a few, right?" Cass flagged down the bartender and ordered drinks.

"Well, I bored you with my life story, so if you'd like to chew my ear off about your love life, feel free," Cass said.

"No tragic heartbreak stories here." Gil shrugged. "I guess my romantic history's pretty boring. A few dates here and there,
but nothing serious."

Cassidy wrinkled his nose. "That's no fun. Any deep, dark secrets you've never told anyone? How about embarrassing
anecdotes? Those are always fun."

"Not really. I did spend a night in jail in Provence, if that counts."

Cass propped his elbow on the bar and rested his chin on his fist. "Do tell."

"Not really much to tell," said Gilbert. He ran his hands through his hair. "Mostly, I just learned the lesson that if you're in a
bar in France, and you're putting the moves on a cute French boy, you should probably make sure that his father's not the
local police chief, and that he's not lurking in the corner of the bar, and you should double-check that before you flirt."

"That must have been some flirt," Cass said.

"Not really. All I did was blow him a kiss." Gil repeated the motion, lightly touching his fingers to his lips, then holding out his
hand and gently blowing across his palm.

Cass touched his hand to his cheek. "Totally arrest-worthy."

"You think so?" Gil's voice carried a trace of amusement.

Cass winked a big black eye. "It's practically a weapon of mass flirtation."

"I just hope you won't make a run for the cops," Gil said. "Once was enough!"

Cass slid off his barstool.

"I was just kidding about the cops," Gil said.

"I'm not calling the cops," Cass assured him.

"Oh." Gil recalled telling Cass that he was free to leave at any time. "It was nice meeting you."

Raising an eyebrow, Cass said, "I need to take a leak. Where's the head in this place?"

Gil let out a breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. "Downstairs, other side of the dance floor. Just go through the
blue curtain--it's the one on the left."

"Thanks. Be back in a few."

While Cass was gone, the drinks came, and Gil watched over the glasses. Through the windows, he could see people
pairing off on the dance floor, and when he saw Cassidy threading his way through the crush of bodies, he grabbed their
drinks and met Cass halfway across the floor.

"I think we should make a toast," Gil announced.

"Okay," Cass said. "What should we be toasting?"

"What sounds good?"

Looking into his drink gave Cass no inspiration. Finally, he said, "How about 'Here's to realizing he's a jerk before he breaks
your heart?' I could definitely drink to that."

Gil shook his head. "That's kind of a depressing toast, isn't it? I mean, they're supposed to be celebrations."

"Fine, then. Let's hear yours."

Gil raised his glass. "May our worst days be behind us and our best days yet to come."

"I see your point," said Cass, clinking his glass against Gil's. They both drained their glasses.

"Club soda?" Gil asked.

"Like I need any more temptation," Cass replied. "Plus, I like club soda. Good for getting out stains." He nodded towards the
bar. "Can I interest you in another?"

"If the bartender ever comes back," Gil said. "He makes good drinks, but he operates on his own timetable."

They sat back down.

"Thanks for suggesting this club," Cass said. "I didn't even know it was here. The DJ's good, and the bartender makes a
mean club soda."

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. This is the first time I've seen you smile. You should do it more often."

"I guess I just haven't had much reason to smile lately." Cass widened his grin. "You must just bring it out in me."

"I can't say I'm sorry about that," Gil said. "You have an amazing smile. It lights up your whole face."

"Nobody's ever said that to me before."

"Then they're idiots," Gil said softly.

"For not complimenting my smile?"

"For not doing whatever it took to see it as often as possible."

A sudden feeling of shyness passed through Cassidy. In many ways, Gil was like Jake. Both older, both well-traveled, both
successful, both had made the initial contact with him... Cass recalled the electric feeling when he'd touched Gil's hand as
they reached for the check. He'd felt that with Jake too.

Gil was different, though. He had an honest face, and Cass could see that his emotions--the kindness, the concern, the
compassion--were genuine. Gil was calm, and patient, and there was a certain innocent sweetness about him.

"My brother used to make me smile all the time when he was a kid," Cass said. "Sometimes it was silly stuff, like when he
was playing with a toy horse and making 'vroom vroom' noises. Or, every night, I'd tuck him in and read him a story, and when
I turned out the light, he'd mumble 'I love you, Cassidy.' Or he'd just come up and randomly hug me. So the idea of a smile
isn't totally foreign to me."

"That's nice to hear." Gil put his hand on Cass's arm. "I don't think we're going to see the bartender again any time soon.
Why don't we head to the dance floor and get our groove on?"

Cass shot Gil a sassy smirk. "You think you can keep up?"

"Just watch me!" Gil said, hopping off his barstool. He slid his hand down Cass's arm, and again Cass felt a surge of
electricity at his touch.

Gil immediately started dancing, but Cass held back. There were a lot of people in close proximity, and he felt a bit nervous.

Noticing his hesitation, Gil shimmied closer. "C'mon--are we standing, or are we dancing?"

"Dancing!" Cass said.

Gil broke out some fancy footwork, while Cassidy was more restrained. "So far I'm not having trouble keeping up!" Gil said.

"Hey, I'm just warming up!" Cass replied.

Gil cut loose with a spin and a series of complicated steps. "Think you can do better than that, Spaceman?"

" 'Spaceman?!' " Cass feigned outrage.

"Beat this, Doughboy!" Cass shouted as he bent backwards, nearly touching his head to the floor. As he pumped his fist, Gil
caught his arm and pulled him upright.

"Not bad!" Gil said.

" 'Not bad?' That's the best you could do?" Cass asked, slipping a leather-clad leg between Gil's and getting so close that
their hips were nearly touching.

"I admit it was impressive," Gil said.

"Yeah it was impressive! Do you have any idea how hard it is to bend your knees that far in leather pants?"

"In that case, I take back my 'not bad' and change it to 'spectacular.' "

"Now that's more like it!" Cass felt a sudden strange feeling in his chest, and stepped back.

A laugh burbled up from deep within him, and he was barely able to take a gasp of breath after one fit of laughter before the
next overtook him.

"I hope this isn't about my dancing," Gil said.

"No," Cass giggled. "It's you!"

"I'm not sure that's better," Gil said, a look of vague annoyance crossing his face.

Cass managed to get control of himself. "I don't mean it like that." He stepped closer to Gil again, and on an impulse,
wrapped his arms around the other man.

"I'm having fun with you," Cass said. "I'd forgotten what fun felt like. And I can't remember the last time I laughed." With no
small measure of reluctance, he broke the embrace.

"All right!" the DJ said, shooting the crowd a finger-gun. "Time to slow things down!" The next song was softer, and the beat
was slower.

The other couples on the dance floor took each others' hands and got close.

Gil reached out to Cassidy. "May I have this dance?"

"Absolutely," said Cass.

Though Gil had taken Cass's hand, Cassidy had a different idea. "Let's do this the right way," said Cass, putting his hand on
Gilbert's shoulder.

Gil rested his a hand on Cass's hip. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," said Cass. The tingling feeling ran through his whole body, from his toes to the tip of the nose he'd inherited from his
father.

Cass looked into Gil's eyes. In them, he saw not even the faintest hint of negativity, of cruelty, of callousness, of manipulation.
He understood that Gil was not the type of man who'd want to have a fling. It was all or nothing.

Cass didn't know if he was ready for that again. He didn't know if he'd ever be ready for that again.

Gil noticed the indecision flickering across Cass's face. "Is something wrong?"

"Don't talk," said Cass, resting his head against Gil's shoulder. He realized the tweed jacket must be one that Gil wore often;
it was imprinted with the scents of the man's profession. Gil smelled of vanilla, of ripe berries, of cinnamon and cloves, of
chocolate, of caramel, of warm cookies and flaky breakfast pastries and freshly-baked bread.

Comfortable smells.

Smells that reminded Cassidy of a time when he'd been happy, when his mother had baked homemade cinnamon rolls every
Sunday, and saved the biggest one for him.

He realized that his decision was already made.

Cass raised his head, and Gil saw the change in him. The last vestiges of tightness around his eyes and his mouth were
gone, and there was something in his eyes that hadn't been there before, a calmness that spoke of a shift in his mood.

Gil leaned forward and kissed Cassidy softly.

It may have been the lightest kiss of his life, but to Cassidy, it felt like an explosion. The tingling throughout his body changed
to heat, and he knew that a faint brush of Gil's lips wasn't enough.

Cassidy pulled Gil closer, and it was as if the rest of the world dropped away. The music faded to nothing, the other dancing
couples disappeared. All that existed was Cassidy and Gilbert, all that mattered was the kiss. It might have lasted a few
seconds. It might have lasted a few thousand years. The only thing either of them knew was that it didn't last long enough.

"All right, enough'a that mushy stuff," the DJ said, putting on another faced-paced techno song.

The other dancers separated and resumed their gyrations, but Cass and Gil stayed in each others' arms, moving to music
that only they could hear.

"I should go," a reluctant Cassidy said. "Spider's probably wondering why it's taken me so long to eat lunch."

"I should probably open the bakery back up," Gil admitted.

They parted, regretting the loss of contact. Gil walked to the door with Cass.

Gil ran his fingers along Cass's jawline and gently cupped his chin. "Would you be terribly angry if I said I'd call you?"

"Depends. Are you going to call me?"

"Yes," said Gil.

Cass brushed a bit of lint from Gil's jacket. "Then I don't think I'd be angry at all."

"I can't promise to give you everything you want."

"Could you promise to give me what I need?" asked Cass.

"That, I could do," replied Gil.

They kissed once more. Cassidy thought it might have been the best kiss he'd ever had.

"Call me," he whispered into Gilbert's ear.

"Count on it," Gil replied. He held the door for Cass, and they went their separate ways.

"Hey," said Cass, wandering into the living room and giving Spider a lazy wave.

"I expected you back a couple of hours ago," said Spider. He looked up from his book. "Especially considering how thrilled
you were when I kicked you out earlier."

"I met someone."

"Wasn't that the point?"

"It's more like I met someone met someone."

Spider Jerusalem slid the book back onto the shelf. "This better not be Jake. If it's Jake, I'm gonna smack you upside the
head for reason of extreme stupidity, and then find him and mess him up so bad even his own mother won't recognize him.
And don't think for a second that I won't do either one of those things."

"Hostility much?" said Cass. "Besides, it's not Jake. No need for you to thump me on the head." Cass knew that his cranky
brother never made idle threats, and he had no desire for a smacking.

"So who is this guy?" Spider asked.

"His name's Gilbert."

"What's he like?"

Cass took a moment to consider the question. When he thought about Gil, he noticed a warmth in his chest that spread
outward to the rest of his body. "He's kind. And he's sweet. And he made me feel special, not because he told me I was, but
because of the way he looked at me."

"It sounds like you really like this guy," said Spider, who was happy to see his brother so energized and excited.

"I really do. And I think he really likes me, which is kind of a strange feeling."

"You must be sort of crazy about him."

"What makes you say that?" Cass asked.

"Because you're smiling. I haven't seen you smile in forever." Spider couldn't help but smile back, an equally rare sight.

Cass could feel the upturn at the corners of his mouth--a curve which became more pronounced as he thought about how it
had felt to kiss Gilbert. The empty longing he'd felt for Jake was gone, replaced by a fire in his heart for the compassionate
baker. Cassidy noticed that the worry on Spider Jerusalem's face was gone, and he knew why: things had been bad, but the
past didn't have to be the future. "You know what, Spider? It turns out that being single on Valentine's Day isn't so bad after
all."

"Wait, what?" said Spider. "It's Valentine's Day? For real?"

As Spider frantically began to apologize for banishing him from the house on a holiday traditionally devoted to romance,
Cassidy's grin broadened even further. Yes, there were far worse things than being single on Valentine's Day, and he held out
hope that there were even better days to come.

fin

Thanks to the many talented CC creators who make my game amazing:
House: Bitsy (boolprop.com)
Eyes: bruno
Eyebrows: Anva
Facial hair: Nymphy
Makeup: bruno, kamikitten, Barcelonista, dragonmandy (Mod)
Clothes: Judie (All-About-Style); Aikea Guinea, Geldyh (Club Crimsyn); Nouk; Liana; Nymphy; HP, Lady M, Sentate (Mod)
Hair: Ghanima Atreides (GOS); Nouk; HP, alkaloid, mimiextra5 (Mod); Kavar, Arice (InSim); Flora (XM); Rose; Myos (SAU);
Raon
Heart CC: Tazmanoregon, Klinny, -Maylin- (Mod)

Also thanks to the people who've lent me their Sims and SimSelves and generally been awesome!
Standing: Spider Jerusalem Vetinari, India Vetinari, Dicreasy (Victorian Legacy), Theodore Harrison (Victorian Legacy),
SimNerd (me; Vetinari Dualegacy), Chad Vetinari, MichelleFobbs (Planetary Apocalypse), Larch Vetinari
Seated: Flavius Marius (Ten Caesars Legacy), Professorbutters (Squeaky Clean Legacy), Jack Buccaneer (Piratical Legacy),
Sophia Goodytwoshoes (Squeaky Clean Legacy), Wren Vetinari, StyxLady (Just Another Legacy)
Floor: Simon Vetinari, Penguingirl0384 (Penguino Legacy), Cassidy Vetinari, Gilbert Jacquet, Archimedes Vetinari, Orikes
(Pseudo Legacy)

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! My Sims and the Vetinari Dualegacy can be found at docnerd.livejournal.com.

Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day!

Rekindling the Flame

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