1. Mansfield and District U3A
Poetry & Prose
Members' Day Readings
________________________
January 2014
Page 1 of 8
2. The U3A
The U3A the U3A.
Which group shall we join today?
Will it be the pudding club?
Where we enjoy, fabulous grub.
We can go with the Strollers or a Shufflers
walk,
Then onto a pub, for a bit of talk.
Such a lot of things to do.
And every group welcomes you.
If you are less agile.
And cannot climb a style.
The shufflers group is for you.
A gentle stroll, then stop for a brew.
Whatever your interests are in life.
The U3A has a group to suffice.
Belly dancing did not do well.
Our wobbly bits, flopped like jell.
If digital photography is your thing.
We have an expert: David Ling.
He’ll give you photo tips galore.
These will help you I am sure.
There are holidays both near and far.
You do not need to have a car.
You will be given information.
About the provided transportation.
Gardening needs no energy, we listen to a
speaker as we sit.
Then have a coffee, and let them get on with
it.
We learn to grow from seed a flower.
Find out about herbs, with medicinal power.
We try to add plants to our little plot.
Our borders are full, and space we have not
Amongst the weeds we do have flowers.
They try to survive in our tended bowers
We take cuttings to grow into trees.
Ultimately the blossom will feed the bees.
Diseases, viruses, slugs and bugs.
They multiply in borders, pots, and tubs.
We sympathise with each other.
About problems which give us bother
If antiques and oddments are your thing.
There is a group which is interesting.
You can go to auctions in a group
Take your purse and off you troop
Our choir sings out with voices strong.
When they perform, we go along.
Churches, halls and various places.
We hear them go through their paces.
They need men with voices deep.
If you sing baritone, go to where they meet.
Music here, music there.
Popular and classics for all to share.
Various composers you will hear.
All good pieces, fond and dear.
Join the group to relax and listen.
If it’s sad your eyes will glisten.
The coffee morning raises money.
Having tombola, cakes, plants and honey.
Enjoy a cuppa and a bicky.
So buy a ticket; it's not tricky.
The home-made cakes and pies are yummy.
All delicious treats for your money.
The picnic is for everyone.
So come along and have some fun.
Bring along a dish to share.
What it is we do not care.
Take a drink to wash it down.
It’s a jolly party out of town.
A loaded buffet you will see.
Which we tuck into with much glee.
Bring your glass, knife and fork.
Then just sit, relax and talk
Janet books day trips for us to go.
Put your name down don’t be slow.
Get on the bus; no need to drive.
To a place of interest we arrive.
Stately homes and garden centres.
All kinds of places are our ventures.
Morning coffee; a tour around.
A delicious lunch, then homeward bound.
Page 2 of 8
3. There is a group who chat and stitch.
And you do not need to be that rich.
Don’t forget to bring your tatting.
You can do it while your chatting.
Make a cushion or a toy.
A present for a girl or boy
Leave the pots leave the pans
Our luncheon club makes no demands.
You can choose where to go.
Preferably where the wine will flow.
Do you need some exercise?
The doctors think this is wise.
Move to music or join Tai Chi.
Lots of us you there will see
We sell CD’s, books and mags.
Lilian will provide the bags.
Stock up now for winter days.
Then you can sit and read and laze.
Everything's a bargain on the stall.
Mysteries, romances, books to suit you all.
You can read a book then bring it back.
The money goes to funds, so don’t be slack.
If it’s musicals you want to see.
Nottingham is where we’ll be.
Wednesday, matinee, in the stalls.
Songs and music within the walls.
We can have a lunch before the show.
A glass of wine, then off we go.
Twenty-fourteen will see us go.
Down to London to see a show.
Stopping off in Covent Garden, there's time
to stroll before we eat.
Then meet at Porters for a treat.
We enjoy a meal before the show.
Perhaps a glass of wine before we go.
After a sleep at the hotel overnight.
We should all rise rested and bright.
At Hampton Court Palace we will call.
A place of grandeur as I recall .
If you like to write for pleasure.
See Sue and Hilary at your leisure.
Poems, stories short and long.
This group is where you belong.
If in January you need a rest.
Go to Thoresby as Terry’s guest.
(We do of course have to pay.)
It’s a bargain price, so don’t delay
The holidays are fabulous.
Organised by Margaret so there's no fuss.
Excursions included and transport there.
We enjoy the days without a care.
If you are as fit as can be.
The hikers group you should see.
Climbing over hills and stiles.
You will cover many miles.
When you do stop for some grub.
I expect it will be at a pub.
If you have an idea for another group.
Drop it in the suggestion box; the committee
will have look.
Put your thinking cap on.
You may come up with a good'un.
If paintings you just want to view.
Pauline provides this for you.
Abstracts, portraits, woodland scenes.
Lots of paintings some are dreams.
If Science and Technology,are your thing.
There is a group where you can cling.
This is the group for you to share.
Just phone and say you will be there.
Ian will be there with information.
He may need a small donation
Karen has plans for us to have a social
whirl.
She’s a very busy girl.
The next one is a quiz night, with food on a
plate.
Bring a drink with you and try not to be late.
If you like to read there’s a group for you.
You have a month to read a book, then to
give your view.
Some are racy, so they say.
Something about a shade of grey.
Page 3 of 8
4. If you fancy a break in your caravan.
Then Terry Lammas is your man.
He organises days and weeks in lovely
places.
Enjoy new company and new faces.
Tow your van to a country pub.
Then all pile in for some grub.
Don Wright organises bowling.
He knows how to keep you rolling.
As long as you can lift a ball.
He will organise it all.
If bridge is your game.
Maxine and Glenis will make it plain.
Count the points, keep your score.
Try not to drop cards on the floor.
If you want to see a special show.
Thursford Spectacular is where to go.
A splendiferous display of Christmas
decoration.
You will not see better in any situation.
A glittering show of song and dance.
Book early, don’t miss your chance.
Margaret organises this.
It’s one you should not miss.
The wine groups meet to share a drink.
Red and white and sometimes pink.
They look at the legs inside the glass.
Sniff the bouquet and drink at last.
Several bottles they get through.
Goodness me it’s a boozy do.
Current Affairs are all around us.
We hear people discuss them on the bus.
In the papers and on TV.
Talked about by you and me.
You may be interested or maybe not.
But to talk about there is a lot.
Family history will discover your relatives
from the past.
This was when the die was cast.
You may discover Great Granddad had a
lover.
Or his mother ran off with another.
Is there a skeleton in your cupboard?
Hidden away until discovered.
Was an uncle a peeping tom.
Or just a boring old John.
Was someone brave in a war.
Winning medals in places far.
You could go back far in time.
Then with your stories go out to dine.
Heart Start: important information.
You need to know the class location.
Heart Start will show you what to do.
If in emergency there is only you.
Come along to the class.
Learn the knowledge, then you'll pass
Movement to music is good for you.
Don’t believe me? Honest, it’s true.
It’s not the jive, it’s not the tango.
You will not trip the light fandango.
Move a leg here.
Move an arm there.
Swing to the music.
Feel that muscle when you use it.
Sway to the left, sway to the right.
Is your body feeling tight.
Is your vocabulary superb?
Do you like to find a word?
Are you interested in Scrabble?
With words do you like to dabble?
Obscure and absurd words.
Words long and short.
For long words you get more points.
But this will not help your joints.
See Brenda for information.
She'll give you the location.
Local history does abound.
It can be found all around.
Join the group to check it out.
It is interesting there is no doubt.
To fascinating places you will go.
And perhaps find artefacts on show.
A King lost his horse and stayed at an inn.
It was the John Cockle; the King knighted
him.
Page 4 of 8
5. Next Year is our Crystal Year.
For fifteen years the U3A’s been here.
We are having a ball to celebrate.
So come along it will be great
Get out your sparkly shoes and glitter
bangles.
And if you like, your killer-heel sandals.
You can wear dinner suits and evening
dresses.
So get a swirl or a curl in your tresses.
Rita is the one to see.
She is selling tickets with much glee.
You can join a group to watch a film.
Musical, comedy or full of doom.
Historical epics, religious spectacles.
Some you may feel are rejectables
If it’s happy, it is more enjoyable.
If it’s sad, tears are unavoidable.
A group of friends all together.
Enjoying time despite the weather.
There are day excursions to visit gardens.
No need to worry about wardens.
It’s all arranged and put in place.
Get on the bus and relax, we're not in a race.
At the start of the groups we do have art.
Male or female, you can take part.
Do you like to paint, not skirting boards or
walls.
More like Lords and Ladies in Baronial halls.
Is sketching your fascination?
Do you draw with charcoal at your
destination?
Or a water colour scene with white fluffy
clouds.
Or a spooky depiction of ghouls in shrouds?
Do you favour a field of butterflies and
flowers.
With a background of majestic stone
towers?
You could paint the face of a wrinkled old
trout.
But be kind and airbrush the creases out.
Do you prefer pictures of cottages quaint.
Or find a stained glass window and copy a
Saint?
Can you dash out authentic villages.
Or do scenes of blood-stained pillages?
Do you like abstracts with multi-coloured
splashes.
Or bowls of fruit with spots like rashes.
So if with paint you like to play.
Drop in to the art group one day.
Linda Spray will help you all.
So get on the phone and give her a call.
OH the U3A; the U3A; here we are,
Sprightly and Gay.
At least we are for today.
Oh the U3A; the U3A.
I’m worn out thinking what to do.
It’s time I put the kettle on and had a brew.
Finally I do say today, for the organisers.
Hip HIP HOORAY!
Sheila Whalley (MU3A)
____________________________________
England is poetry
England. Gentle undulating hills.
Wild heather-covered moorlands.
Serene, shimmering lakes.
And surging, silvery seas.
England. Celebrated cathedral cities.
Peaceful pastoral pathways.
Flower-filled meadows.
Fertile, fruitful orchards.
England. Gardens gloriously arrayed.
Pansies; poppies; roses.
And rugged rambling rockeries.
Of campions and sea pinks.
Overhanging the ocean.
England. Homely harbours, pristine, painted
boats and wheeling white gulls.
Cornfields of gold, pastures of green, sheep
and cows contentedly grazing.
Children playing by village streams and
quaint old bridges of rough-hewn stone.
England is all this – and more, so much more.
England is poetry, written indelibly on the
hearts of all who love her!
Doreen Beer
Page 5 of 8
6. To remember those men that served and died in
the First World War 1914-1918
The Marching Boot
Trudge, trudge, trudge, how much longer,
how much further will we have to go. The
noisy banter and camaraderie has ceased,
and the singing and whistling gradually died
away.
I’m being dragged along, as this poor devil
can hardly lift his feet, just like all the others.
I’m sticking to the sole of his foot and my sole
is wearing out. My sides are splitting, my
laces are shredding, and the leather water-
logged from all the mud, but he’s trying with
all his might to stay in the rhythm of the
march, along with the rest of them.
The smoke, and the smell of gas is some-
times overpowering, and the cries and the
call of men, breaks the silence that over-
whelms the night, that eerie quiet, that seems
unreal, and heightens the senses to wait for
the unexpected.
Many other boots are all around, hanging on
like me, plodding and dragging along the
road. Some are lying unwanted or not now
needed, protruding from legs that are
wounded and dying. There are those that
have already reached the end. Maybe that’ll
be me soon, if he hasn’t any strength left,
or perhaps we’ll make it back, to a clean,
bright world, full of hope and peace.
I’ll have new laces and heels, and maybe
even shine, like newly polished glass, once
more.
Hilary Miller (MU3A)
____________________________________
People think that we are old
People think that we are old
But there was a time when we were bold
Loads of make-up, driving cars
Mini-skirts and burn your bras.
Pulling on your nylon tights
But standing up for equal rights,
Ban the Bomb and Greenham Common,
High-heeled shoes and falling from them.
Age of free love, the Pill and lots of bedding
But don’t forget the shotgun weddings.
Beatlemania, Top of the Pops
And doing the Twist in silly frocks.
Teddy Boys, Hells Angels too
Then Mods and Rockers to name a few.
Some were skinheads or even hippy
TV programmes included Skippy.
Harold Wilson with his political clout
Then Heineken tried to replace our stout!
Curry, Major, Maggie too
Political parties, seas of blue
Parkinson and Wogan were the Kings
of Chat
Fast food hadn’t made everyone fat!
Love, sex and rock and roll
Look at us, it’s taken its toll.
Think you’re rebels in your hoodies
It’s only time has made us goodies.
Sue Ford (MU3A)
Little Aggie
When Joe Dove took his elephants out on
the road
He made each one hold fast with his trunk
To the tail of the elephant walking in front
To stop them from doing a bunk.
There were fifteen in all, so 'twere rather
a job
To get them linked up in a row,
But once he had fixed 'em Joe knew they'd
hold on,
For an elephant never lets go.
The pace it was set by the big 'uns in front,
'Twas surprising how fast they could stride,
And poor little Aggie, the one at the back...
Had to run till she very near died.
Page 6 of 8
7. They were walking one Sunday from Blackpool
to Crewe,
They'd started at break of the day,
Joe followed behind with a bagful of buns
In case they got hungry on t'way.
They travelled along at a rattling good pace
Over moorland and valley and plain,
And poor little Aggie the one at the back
Her trunk fairly creaked with the strain.
They came to a place where the railway crossed
road,
An ungated crossing it were,
And they wasn't to know as the express was due
At the moment that they landed there.
They was half way across when Joe saw the
express
It came tearing along up the track
He tried hard to stop, but it wasn't much good,
For an elephant never turns back.
He saw if he didn't do something at once
The train looked like spoiling his troupe,
So he ran on ahead and he waggled the buns
To show them they'd best hurry up.
When they caught sight of buns they all started to
run,
And they soon got across at this gait,
Except poor little Aggie, the one at the back,
She were one second too late.
The express came dashing along at full speed,
And caught her end on, fair and square
She bounced off the buffers, turned head over
heels,
And lay with her legs in the air.
Joe thought she were dead when he saw her
lyin' there,
With the back of her head on the line
He knelt by her side, put his ear to her chest,
And told her to say " ninety-nine."
She waggled her tail and she twiggled her trunk;
To show him as she were alive;
She hadn't the strength for to say "ninety-nine,"
She just managed a weak "eighty-five."
When driver of th' engine got down from his cab
Joe said "Here's a nice howdedo,
To see fifteen elephants ruined for life
By a clumsy great driver like you."
Said the driver, "There's no need to mak' all this
fuss,
There's only one hit as I've seen."Joe said, "Aye,
that's right, but they held on so tight
You've pulled back end off t'other fourteen."
Joe still walks around with his elephant troupe,
He got them patched up at the vet's,
But Aggie won't walk at the back any more,
'Cos an elephant never forgets.
Marriott Edgar
____________________________________
What’s that in that there pot, granddad?
What’s in that there pot in the china cabinet
granddad
And why can’t I find the key
All thems mine and yer granny’s treasures
lad
Nothing came for free
Will you show me then granddad please
Will you show me what’s in there
All right lad I’ll unlock it
I’ll show you because I care
In this pot are collected things
Things from when I was in the war
Things like uniform buttons and bullets
And all Johnny could say was Cor
And have you got a gun granddad
No they wouldn’t let me bring that
I’ve got me corporal stripes though
And the regimental badge off me hat
Page 7 of 8
