It's best to avoid anxiety, or is it? In this presentation, originally given in September 2010 at the Vingsted conference centre in Denmark, Professor Emmy van Deurzen, from the New School of Psychotherapy and Counselling, draws on a philosophical tradition and her own experience as a psychotherapist, to show when anxiety can be a guide to what needs to be fixed in one's life to reach greater wellbeing.

3. www.existentialpsychotherapy.net www.dilemmas.org www.nspc.org.uk www.existentialacademy.com Facebook group: Existential Therapy

4. Author of Books on Existential Psychotherapy and Counselling

6. RECENT BOOK: 2009

7. 2010: 1. Second Edition Everyday Mysteries 2. Skills in Existential Counselling and Psychotherapy

12. Not in the sense of martyrdom, sacrifice and suffering: not being burnt by anxiety

13. In the sense of living life to the full in all its stark reality, contrast and contradictions, in harmony with our anxiety

15. Dark ages of therapy: blind leading the blind: do we really know how to live and how to be with anxiety and depression?

16. Descartes’ belief in doubt. 1596-1650 I realized that it was necessary, once in the course of my life, to demolish everything completely and start again right from the foundations if I wanted to establish anything at all. (Meditations II, p.12.)

17. Descartes worldview: doubt=thought cogito ergo sum

19. School of Life

21. Existential Approach The existential approach to counselling and psychotherapy is a philosophical method for understanding human difficulties.

22. HUMAN CONDITION It focuses on the way in which the individual struggles with the human condition and in particular with our inevitable limitations: only if we deal with the negatives are the positives on option: paradox and conflict are central to the approach.

24. Neither positive nor negative

26. Making sense of life

27. Energy is the flow between two poles Source: kidzoneweather.com

28. Dialectics: transcendence in time Synthesis: a wider view future Thesis: my view (past ) Antithesis: your view (present)

30. Dialectics Transcendence Thesis Antithesis Synthesis

31. Dimensions and Tensions of Human Existence Desires Fears Physical (earth) Life pleasure Death pain Social (world) Love belonging Hate isolation Personal (man) Identity integrity Freedom disintegration Spiritual (gods) Good purpose Evil futility

32. Human values rediscovered. DESIRES FEARS VALUES PHYSICAL life death vitality SOCIAL love hate reciprocity PERSONAL identity freedom integrity SPIRITUAL good evil transparency

37. Paradoxes of human existence

43. Soren Kierkegaard 1813-1855

51. Looking on the bright side

56. Different dimensions of the four spheres of existence Umwelt Mitwelt Eigenwelt Uberwelt Physical survival Nature Things Body Cosmos Social affiliation Public Others Ego Culture Personal identity Private Me Self Consciousness Spiritual meaning Sacred God Soul Transcendence

59. Being-in-the-world

60. Freedom and nothingness. This freedom which reveals itself to us in anguish can be characterised by the existence of that nothing which insinuates itself between motives and act. (Sartre 1943:35)

61. Living with illusion. Magritte’s Blanc Seing.

64. Self-deception: Magritte’s l’homme.

65. Van Ostade: the Alchemist Manipulating the world.

67. Inventing Human Reality We have to deal with human reality as a being which is what it is not and which is not what it is. (Sartre B&N:58) Leonardo da Vinci: human figure .

68. Brueghel: Icarus’ fall: the reality of human limitations.

70. Millais’ Ophelia self-forgetfulness

71. A lucid view: Magritte : homesickness for what we do not know.

72. World absorption . .a distinctive kind of Being-in-the-World - the kind which is completely fascinated by the ‘world’ and by the Dasein-with of Others in the “they”. Not-Being-its-self functions as a positive possibility of that entity which, in its essential concern, is absorbed in a world. (Heidegger 1927:176)

73. Tranquillizing The supposition of the “they” that one is leading and sustaining a full and genuine ‘life’ brings Dasein a tranquillity , for which everything is ‘in the best of order’ and all doors are open. Falling being-in-the-world, which tempts itself, is at the same time tranquillizing . (Heidegger 1927:177)

74. Self-dissection Yet this alienation cannot mean that Dasein gets factically torn away from itself. On the contrary, this alienation drives it into a kind of Being which borders on the most exaggerated ‘self-dissection’, tempting itself with all possibilities of explanation, so that the very ‘characterologies’ and ‘typologies’ which it has brought about are themselves already becoming something that cannot be surveyed at a glance. (Heidegger 1927:178)

75. Heidegger’s falling. The alienation of falling-at once tempting and tranquillizing-leads by its own movement, to Dasein’s getting entangled in itself. (Heidegger 1927:178)

76. Concealments If Dasein discovers the world in its own way and brings it close, if it discloses to itself its own authentic Being, then this discovery of the ‘world’ and this disclosure of Dasein are always accomplished as a clearing-away of concealments and obscurities, as a breaking up of the disguises with which Dasein bars its own way. (Heidegger 1927:167)

78. Bellini : Agony in the garden.

79. Forgetting: going to work. A specific kind of forgetting is essential for the temporality that is constitutive for letting something be involved. The Self must forget itself if, lost in the world of equipment, it is to be able ‘actually’ to go to work and manipulate something. (Heidegger 1927:354)

80. Unheimlichkeit The call ‘says’ nothing, which might be talked about, gives no information about events. The call points forward to Dasein’s potentiality-for-Being, and it does this as a call which comes from uncanniness.(Heidegger 1927:280)

83. Resoluteness Resoluteness constitutes the loyalty of existence to its own Self (Heidegger 1927:391) The resolute rapture which carries us away in the moment of vision is what makes an authentic future possible (Heidegger 1927:338)

84. Covering up ‘ Being false’ (  ) amounts to deceiving in the sense of covering up (verdecken) : putting something in front of something (in such a ways as to let it be seen) and thereby passing it off as something which it is not . (Heidegger 1927:33)

85. Opaqueness On the other hand, Dasein’s opaqueness [Undurchsichtigkeit] is not rooted primarily and solely in ‘egocentric’ self-deceptions; it is rooted just as much in lack of acquaintance with the world. (Heidegger 1927:146)

86. Inauthenticity Basic principle Truth Untruth Dasein’s intention Coming to itself Backing away from itself Dasein’s basic objective Being-towards-Death Comfort seeking/shirking Fundamental ability Disclosing Closing off Relation to the world Uncovering Covering up Dasein’s awakening Facing anxiety Tranquillizing Dasein’s cognition Transparency O Authenticity paqueness Dasein’s attitude to itself Ownmost potentiality-for-being-oneself Self-forgetfulness Dasein’s struggle Call of conscience Falling-Dispersion-the They Relationship to the future Resoluteness Irresoluteness Ultimate position Moment of Vision Indifference

87. Refusing truth … the condition of there being truth is the perpetual possibility of refusing it. (Sartre 1992:27).

88. Rembrand:Sacrifice of Isaac Fear and Trembling: being tested.

89. Despair and Death: De la Roche: Christian Martyr.

91. Cohn’s aim of therapy. ‘ the restoration of an unlived dimension of life, whether this is described as forgotten, denied, repressed or abandoned’ (Cohn 2004:384)

93. What is anxiety? The energy of life And energy can be used or can overwhelm you

100. Wellcome exhibition: life before death, Walter Schells Memento Mori

101. To live and to die

102. Eyes that see the world no more: finding peace

105. Stages of a Woman’s life

106. Our lives are like the seasons or the birth of day and night.

120. Attunement to what is

132. Minkowski’s idea of time Present Remote Past Mediate Past Immediate Past Immediate Future Mediate Future Remote Future

136. Sartre’s existential ethics There is no abstract ethics. There is only an ethics in a situation and therefore it is concrete. An abstract ethics is that of the good conscience. It assumes that one can be ethical in a fundamentally unethical situation . (Sartre, Notes For an Ethics:17)

140. Difficulties on four dimensions physical social personal spiritual Deficit Difference Dilemma Disorientation Disease Discord Deception (self) Delusion Desire Dominance Disappointment Doubt Dependence Dishonesty Dread Debt Dis-embodiment Dis-engagement Despondency Dissolution Death Destruction Distress Despair

145. Coaching for life Discovering new possibilities by being introduced to them by others

147. Deliberate living

148. Paradox and tensions of existence. Existential approach: related to, but not the same as positive psychology and well-being research: Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Ed Diener, Ruut Veenhoven, Martin Seligman . The tragic depth of being human is as important as human potential and joy.

150. Different aspects of therapeutic relationship

151. Wheels within wheels Being me

158. Existential Space Physical space Social space Personal space Spiritual space

159. Your own little sphere of existence matters

160. Imagine a person like a sphere

161. That person is located in a universe with other planets, stars, suns, moons and spheres

162. Sphere as a planet or a cell: micro or macro level.

163. If a cell: connection with other cells, function and internal constitution are paramount

164. If planet: orbit and position matter

166. You experience yourself as having a nucleus: a core, a heart or a soul

167. Perhaps we are more like suns, generating heat and light

168. Solar anatomy

170. Layers of a person’s life. 4.Physical: Umwelt 3.Social: Mitwelt 2.Personal: Eigenwelt 1.Spiritual: Uberwelt

172. Layers of a person’s life. 4.Physical: Umwelt 3.Social: Mitwelt 2.Personal: Eigenwelt 1.Spiritual: Uberwelt

173. Dimensions of existence Spiritual: Good/Evil Intuitions, values, beliefs, purpose, meaning. Worldview/Ideas. Personal: Strength/Weakness Thoughts, memories, identity, freedom. Selfhood/Me. Social: Love/Hate Feelings, relations, belonging, acknowledgement. Communication/Others. Physical: Life/Death Sensations, actions, environment, body, things. Survival/World.

178. pride jealousy anger- despair fear sorrow shame envy hope- desire love joy Sadness Low Happiness High Anxiety Excitement Engagement Depression Disappointment Disengagement

179. Emotional Compass 1:Pride-confidence-arrogance 2:Jealousy-worry-vigilance 3:Anger-hate-despair 4:Fear-confusion-cowardice 5:Sorrow-misery-resignation Shame-emptiness-guilt:7 Envy-curiosity-aspiration:8 Hope-desire-resolve:9 Love-courage-commitment:10 Joy-thrill-excitement:11 6. Low Despondency Depression Exhilaration Happiness 12:High Up gain Down loss

180. The colour of emotion

183. Depressed worldview

184. Compass of Physical Sensation Greed Stinginess Frustration Disgust Pain Need Craving Excitement Lust Pleasure Deprivation Emptiness Satisfaction Fullness Gain Survival Loss Threat

185. Compass of Social Feeling Care Jealousy Anger Fear Rejection Shame Envy Approval Love Acceptance Isolation Separateness Belonging Oneness Engagement Disengagement

186. Compass of Personal Thinking Superiority Stubbornness Defiance Deflation Humiliation Inferiority Anxiety Courage Commitment Confidence Imperfection Weakness Perfection Strength Success Failure

187. Compass of Spiritual Intuition Pride Prudence Wrath Resignation Disillusionment Guilt Aspiration Hope Resoluteness Bliss Futility Absurdity Meaning Purpose Good Evil

191. When crisis strikes our lives are revolutionized In the whirlwind of change we need to find steadiness, persistence and resilience

197. Rita World Physical Social Personal Spiritual Umwelt Take interest in objects, space Meet others Relate to own body again Recognize value Mitwelt Leave dead behind Love dead still Find self valid Find others valid Eigenwelt Recover sense of self care Rediscover love Love self Find project Uberwelt Make sense of disaster Life with others is worthwhile I am me and this matters There is a purpose to it all

198. Existential Approach The existential approach to counselling and psychotherapy is a philosophical method for understanding human difficulties: not in order to eliminate problems but in order to face them to thrive on them.

200. EXISTENTIAL PHILOSOPHERS Philosophers of freedom Pheno- menology Existentialism Post-modernism S Ö ren Kierkegaard 1813-1855 Franz Brentano 1838-1917 Jean Paul Sartre 1905-1980 Michel Foucault 1926-1984 Friedrich Nietzsche 1844-1900 Edmund Husserl 1859-1938 Maurice Merleau Ponty 1908-1961 Paul Ricoeur 1913-2005 Karl Jaspers 1883-1969 Martin Heidegger 1889-1976 Albert Camus 1913-1960 Jacques Derrida 1931-2004

207. Being-in-the-world

211. Different dimensions of the four spheres of existence Umwelt Mitwelt Eigenwelt Uberwelt Physical survival Nature Things Body Cosmos Social affiliation Public Others Ego Culture Personal identity Private Me Self Consciousness Spiritual meaning Sacred God Soul Transcendence

213. Find your own way Be clear of your goal and make the most of the journey Learn to live deliberately rather than by default

215. Magritte: Empire of Lights. Learning to live with paradox and the tensions of life

216. Tillich, 1966:15

218. Inspiration and expiration

219. pride jealousy anger- despair fear sorrow shame envy hope- desire love joy Sadness Low Happiness High Anxiety Excitement Engagement Depression Disappointment Disengagement

220. Accept unspoken givens of life: engage with them: Human evolution from: passionate engagement with problems and conflicts: understanding and overcoming

221. Rely on your capacity to face whatever may come: find a calm confident state of mind

222. Optimal living All living things are struggling for existence, even unwittingly and unwillingly. They struggle passively just to exist, to be left in what seems to be peace and quiet; and they struggle actively to grow and to expand. (Jaspers,1951:204)

224. www.existentialpsychotherapy.net www.dilemmas.org www.nspc.org.uk www.existentialacademy.com