Derwin Dubose's 30 for 30

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Derwin Dubose’s
30 for 30
The top 30 things I’ve learned
about life and leadership so far
Derwin Dubose’s Birthday Reflections — September 2, 2014

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About me
I’m Derwin Dubose
Mild-mannered change agent who
navigates public policy, advocacy, press,
and fundraising for nonprofits
Graduate student at
Harvard Kennedy School
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Proud son of
Bobbie Pope-Dubose (pictured with me)
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You can contact me via:
LinkedIn
Email

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No one owns you.
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You are the captain of your own ship
and bear responsibility for the life you
lead – not your parents, not your
significant other, not your boss.
1

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Tell your own
narrative.
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You are both protagonist and author of
your story. Don’t let others define it or
tell you how to promote it.
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Hat Tip: Dan Schawbel
2

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Know your
competitive
advantage.
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What can you do that no one else
can?
3

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Being weird is
friggin’
awesome.
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What makes me weird makes me
wonderful.
Hat Tip: Dave Rendall
4

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Always be
planning.
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The ABZ approach to planning has
guided my career.
Hat Tip: Reid Hoffman and Ben
Casnocha
5

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Take short-term
losses for long-term
gain.
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It’s easy to do when you know when to
quit and when to stick.
Hat Tip: Seth Godin
6

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The world
doesn’t want to
be changed.
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Well-intentioned people—including
some of your loved ones—will
subconsciously fight to the death to
defend the status quo.
7

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You will make
enemies.
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If you disrupt the status quo, people
will fight you. Also, jealousy is one of
the most powerful, yet most disguised,
human emotions.
Hat Tip: Liz Ryan
8

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Few things are
personal.
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Thicken your skin for attacks that may
cut deeply but are simply
manifestations of numbers 7 and 8.
9

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Troublemakers
win history.
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Martin Luther King, Jr. was the most
hated man in the US, but you can now
visit both his birthplace and monument
on his federal holiday.
10

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Use tact and
diplomacy as
needed.
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I prefer blunt, data-driven discussions
but had to learn how to deliver
messages in ways they are most likely
to be received.
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Don’t always pay
the cost if you’re
not the boss.
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Knowing when to follow is essential.
Sometimes you have to use the AMP
decision making model: “Ain’t my
problem!”
12

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Understand family
pathologies.
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All families pass thoughts, beliefs, and
behaviors along with genetic traits. Break
the negative patterns and embrace the
positive.
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Hat Tip: Iyanla Vanzant
13

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Don’t forget
whence you came.
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I am African American, Southern by the
grace of God, and grew up poor. I’m
proud that my accent, vernacular, and
tastes reflect those cultures.
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Understand
privilege.
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Be thankful for the rich blessings that
have given you opportunities others
lack.
15

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Defy expectations
daily.
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As a black male in the US, statistically, I
should be unemployed, in jail, or dead.
Those statistics—and anyone who
carries prejudice based on them—can go
to hell.
16

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Seek wise
counsel.
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Mentors have helped me navigate life
while providing technical assistance on
specific challenges.
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17

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The 48 Laws of
Power rule every
institution.
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From street-corner drugs to the halls of
Harvard.
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Hat Tip: Robert Greene
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18

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Forgive.
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I’ve wasted too much time holding
grudges. Forgive early and often, but it’s
impossible to show compassion to others
until you first forgive yourself.
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Hat Tip: TD Jakes
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19

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Take care of
yourself.
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Physical, emotional, and financial fitness
is required to navigate life.
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20

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You never know
people’s private
struggles.
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I try to be compassionate with everyone,
despite tension between us. Who knows
the battles they face behind closed
doors?
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21

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Sometimes, s#*t
just doesn't work
out.
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Inevitably jobs, relationships, and friendships
will fail. Those failures don’t mean that you—
or the other folks involved—are
fundamentally flawed or broken.
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Be ready to start
over.
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When my life hasn’t been in alignment with
my values, identity, and dreams—or when
s#*t just doesn’t work out—I’ve had to make
decisive changes without looking back.
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Hat Tip: Srinivas Rao
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23

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Trust your
instinct.
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Most drama in my life has derived from
me ignoring gut feelings. When
something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it!
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24

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Always be
authentic.
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Sometimes I’ve tried to be what others
expected in order to land jobs and
relationships. Inevitably, everyone was
disappointed when the veneer faded.
Just be yourself from jump!
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Live life on your
own terms.
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As a strong introvert, I’ve struggled with
not being more outgoing or social, but
now I do things my own way and have a
lot more fun!
26

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Own your
mistakes.
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Regardless of intent, my actions and
words have hurt others and myself. I
carry that burden daily and try to make
amends when possible.
27

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Show love while
you can.
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Unexpectedly, I lost my stepfather and a
best friend without telling them how
much they meant to me. Make sure the
people you love know how much you
care.
28

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You are enough.
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I finally learned to accept myself, as I am
—imperfections and all.
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Now, I only let people who accept me
into my life. People who try to change
me have to go.
29

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Time is your most
precious resource.
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Once you lose a second, you can never
get it back. Take risks. Have fun while
you can. YOLO.
30

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Shouts Out
To the institutions who’ve invested in me…

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Shouts Out
And to some really cool people who’ve invested in me…
Kerra Bolton
Milly Cowles
Debra Derr
Benee Dixon
Mariano Gonzalez Roglich
Susan and Speed Hallman
Lynn Holmes
Lula Larkin
Bettye Maye
Janice McAdams
Cynthia O’Neal (in memoriam)
Lonzy Randolph (in memoriam)
Carlotta Russell
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