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ON HAVING A CONVERSATION TUNING INTO SELF&WORKING WITH OTHERS
BLOCK ADAPTATION The slides shortly to follow are based around Peter Block’s Six Conversations Model. Narrative Therapy/Consulting. Emphasis on a Community of Conversation, not mechanical steps. Authenticity of both individual and practitioner.
SIX STEPS TO GENUINE ENGAGEMENT Invitation and Assent. Exploring and Realising Possibilities. Owning My Own Learning Process. Risking Dissent. Offering Commitment. Fusing: Dynamic Conversation. The ghost of the passive learner belongs on the back burner!
GUIDANCE NOTES After each of the 6 Steps there will a slide entitled CORE FOCUS. Each step has implications for us the person, learner/developer, practitioner. Also one entitled LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES
.we all are able to lead.
A FEW THOUGHTS ABOUT LEADERSHIP In this learning community leadership is not taken to be
 The same as management About bravado, sloganising, political manipulation etc Emphasis is placed on authenticity, dealing with uncertainty, radical empathy, trust building, incremental inspiration, and resonance.
A FEW THOUGHTS ON UNCERTAINTY ‘To be uncertain is to be uncomfortable, but to be certain is to be ridiculous’       Chinese proverb ‘Uncertainty and expectation are the joys of life.  Security is an insipid thing.’ William Congreve. Seventeenth Century   English Playwright.
‘Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.’ R.I. Fitzhenry. Twentieth Century Canadian Publisher. ‘Olive trees and answers both need time.’         Arab Proverb.
UNCERTAINTY AS THREAT? In a communal, or cultural context uncertainty may be felt, perceived, as threatening {Hofstede, 1994}. Resultant anxiety-diffuse in nature {fear typically has a specific focus}. {As if} everything different is dangerous.
{As if} There is only one truth and I/we have it-developmental implications for the individual/collective. ‘Truth is a jewel and the owner lives dangerously.’ Arab Proverb. “Being a student is to be in a state of anxiety.” Barnett {2007} -your experience? We seem ‘safe’ then along comes a Black Swan Moment {Taleb}.
BLACK SWAN MOMENT
PREPARED FOR THE UNPREPARED? Award winning Danish animation film The Danish Poet {2007}emphasised learning to become prepared for the unprepared. The Film’s core moral was that to engage with the ambiguities and uncertainties of contemporary life is the real route to depth understanding and learning. As if life’s journey beckons us towards ambivalence

anyone know about MOTIVATIONAL INTERVIEWING?
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3232l_the-danish-poet-torill-kove_shortfilms
 ADAPTING BLOCK 1. INVITATION AND ASSENT To develop; to move forward. Establishing whether ‘I’ genuinely want to do so. What do ‘I’ need to make this initial commitment?
We might then ask of ourselves whether what we aspire to is depth learning and understanding-intra personally, academically, professionally
.. Or might we feel safer with ambiguity, passivity, and disempowerment; amidst uncertainty.
1. {cont} What will be the ingredients that will enable me to more clearly:     Participate     Own Relationships     Persevere with tasks     Engage in processes/the learning process
CORE FOCUS Intrinsic motivation. Willingness to develop self midst the reflexive learning process {Ledwith fc Handbook 30017} Openness to risk taking; working effectively midst uncertainty. Accepting failure as part of the learning process.
LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES In inviting others to ‘the conversation’/for engagement ‘I/we’ are investing in them. Yet we are by no means wholly certain. Investment which is more effectively realised in those who engage/actively engage. In turn ‘they’ may well draw others closer to engagement. How does this ‘play out’ in this room? Your group?
2.EXPLORING AND REALISING POSSIBILITIES Looking forward. Not remaining rooted in the past. Freeing up our own creativity. Innovating, challenging the status quo/’My’ own status quo. Breaking new ground.
CORE FOCUS Opportunity. Freedom to choose. To accept personal responsibility

negotiating the freedom to act. Risk and uncertainty.
LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES Raising the awareness of community members, group members in relation to their freedom. ‘Disturbing the peace/piece’. Fuelling uncertainty? Refreshing perspective.
3.OWNING MY OWN LEARNING PROCESS What’s ‘My’ part in getting this far? Avoiding blame, gossip and negativity. Making ‘My’ own change not waiting to be changed?
CORE FOCUS Retaining emphases of choice, freedom and responsibility. Considering options/possibilities open to us. Thus unearthing passion and commitment. Built on foundations of resonance and meaning.
CORE FOCUS {cont} That something genuinely means something to us

.’I’ have a grounded basis to act. What am ‘I’ doing here? This Programme/Module? What am ‘I’ doing {intending to do} in my professional role? Taking responsibility in and for our learning and development.
LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES Resisting the lure of problem solving. Uncertainty and risk for both leader{s} and participants. Staying focussed on ‘their’ understandings of possibility{ies} until
. ‘Other/s’ speak with resonance and passion.
4.RISKING DISSENT Saying ‘No’ in an informed and principled way. Sometimes we need to say ‘No’ to get to ‘Yes’. Commitment .v. Doubt

reaching a synthesised position.
RISKING DISSENT {cont} What I do not want can help in finding what I do want. Failure can enrich learning. Opting out is without adult status. Tension and conflict can be creative.
CORE FOCUS Commitment in this context is found in authentic learning and practice; how will I share my aspirations? Authentic being begets authentic practice. See for example Nash Popovic  Personal Synthesis. Commitment to own progress, the whole Group, MI Group; professional domain{s}.
LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES ‘Working with Other/s’ to explore commitment and doubt. Facilitating and exploring an owned/share an environment where trust can grow.
Where it can be safe to articulate doubts, fears, uncertainties
 Alongside aspirations, hope, joy. Leaders never have answers to everything.
5.OFFERING COMMITMENT Nurturing ‘My’ own learning and development. Promises to the Group/sub groups. Engaging with these promises. Articulating them {internally/externally}. Beyond mere personal gain.
CORE FOCUS What assets/capabilities do I bring to this journey? ‘My’ willingness to acknowledge? What makes me suitable for this learning/professional domain? ‘My’ contribution to the trust pool?
LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES Lip service=weak currency {discuss}. I/we are looking to build authentic commitment Who is looking to join us? Who is harbouring ‘No in a mask’? Courage to commit. Anyway boundaries lurk
6.FUSING: DYNAMIC CONVERSATION Clarifying to self what ‘I’ am bringing to the Group. The positives that ‘I’ am prepared to own. Building on them/working from ‘My’ potential. Changing ‘Myself’; positively impacting on others.
CORE FOCUS Continuing to integrate the positive about and within self. Authentic self in ‘My’ imperfections. Inspiring others, leading others. Quietly ‘modelling’ to allay doubts, fears. Valuing reciprocity.
LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES Genuine capability infuses the community, group, sub group. Such capability both exposes and conceals itself. Ultimately, bringing all capabilities to the fore. Bringing the gifts of those at the margins closer.
BIBLIO Barnett,R. {2007}. A Will To Learn: Being a Student in an Age of Uncertainty. McGraw Hill Block, P. http://www.designedlearning.com/ [online]. Accessed19 September 2011. Hofstede, G. {1994}. Cultures and Organisations: Software of the Mind-Intercultural Cooperation and its importance for survival. Harper Collins. Cooper Ramo, J. {2009 } The Age of the Unthinkable: Why the New World Disorder Constantly Surprises Us and What to Do About It. Little Brown Taleb, N.{2007}. The Black Swan: The Impact of the HighlyImprobable. Penguin Books Taleb, N. Learning to expect the unexpected. [online]. http://www.edge.org/3rd_culture/taleb04/taleb_indexx.html      Accessed 29 September 2009.
MYTH We typically think of myth in a socio cultural context; organisations included. You might like to consider the mythology, for example, surrounding the community that you live in, or come from. Consider meaning that is made about such socio cultural environments. What stories are told, do you tell? What rituals are observed? Is myth unquestionably a positive or negative phenomenon? What kinds of stories are told about these communities? What myths pertain to you? Do you uphold, protect? What are the pay offs that you derive?
MYTH Are you conscious about having ‘pushed back horizons’ in relation to yourself? An example might be a tolerance of uncertainty where once your personal horizon indicated having to be certain before you could act? Extend your reflections to communities and how they might come to push back horizons. The community that could not improve, respect itself?
Orbach, S. {2001} Towards Emotional Literacy.” Virago Press. Being able to recognise what we are feeling so that it doesn’t interfere with our thinking. Another dimension to draw upon when making decisions/encountering situations. Being able to harness what we are feeling as an aid to understanding and focussing.
Allowing our feelings to inform how we prioritise. Taking responsibility for our feelings and acknowledging how we impact on family, friends, and colleagues etc
EMOTIONAL LITERACY DEFICIT Not being in touch with our feelings; gender stereotyping feelings. Denying the importance of feelings in life and work decision making. Pretending that life and work are merely about cognition and rationality. Displacing feelings or dumping them, thus not taking appropriate responsibility for how we impact on others. Consider the notion of toxic emotions-socio cultural, & individual.
AMBIVALENCE The coexistence of opposing attitudes or feelings, such as love and hate, toward a person, object, or idea. Uncertainty or indecisiveness as to which course to follow. The state of feeling two conflicting emotions at the same time . Ambivalency:  a state of being; a conflictual state, entailing opposition between two simultaneous but incompatible feelings; s/he was immobilized/torn by conflict and indecision.
AMBIVALENCE AS RESOURCE From the understandings in the previous slide, consider ambivalence that you may have experienced. How might ambivalence manifest and impact within groups, organisations, and communities? How might such ambivalence be ‘used’ whilst working with people in a social setting? How might your own ambivalence impact upon such social settings?

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On having a conversation

  • 1. ON HAVING A CONVERSATION TUNING INTO SELF&WORKING WITH OTHERS
  • 2. BLOCK ADAPTATION The slides shortly to follow are based around Peter Block’s Six Conversations Model. Narrative Therapy/Consulting. Emphasis on a Community of Conversation, not mechanical steps. Authenticity of both individual and practitioner.
  • 3. SIX STEPS TO GENUINE ENGAGEMENT Invitation and Assent. Exploring and Realising Possibilities. Owning My Own Learning Process. Risking Dissent. Offering Commitment. Fusing: Dynamic Conversation. The ghost of the passive learner belongs on the back burner!
  • 4. GUIDANCE NOTES After each of the 6 Steps there will a slide entitled CORE FOCUS. Each step has implications for us the person, learner/developer, practitioner. Also one entitled LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES
.we all are able to lead.
  • 5. A FEW THOUGHTS ABOUT LEADERSHIP In this learning community leadership is not taken to be
 The same as management About bravado, sloganising, political manipulation etc Emphasis is placed on authenticity, dealing with uncertainty, radical empathy, trust building, incremental inspiration, and resonance.
  • 6. A FEW THOUGHTS ON UNCERTAINTY ‘To be uncertain is to be uncomfortable, but to be certain is to be ridiculous’ Chinese proverb ‘Uncertainty and expectation are the joys of life.  Security is an insipid thing.’ William Congreve. Seventeenth Century English Playwright.
  • 7. ‘Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.’ R.I. Fitzhenry. Twentieth Century Canadian Publisher. ‘Olive trees and answers both need time.’ Arab Proverb.
  • 8. UNCERTAINTY AS THREAT? In a communal, or cultural context uncertainty may be felt, perceived, as threatening {Hofstede, 1994}. Resultant anxiety-diffuse in nature {fear typically has a specific focus}. {As if} everything different is dangerous.
  • 9. {As if} There is only one truth and I/we have it-developmental implications for the individual/collective. ‘Truth is a jewel and the owner lives dangerously.’ Arab Proverb. “Being a student is to be in a state of anxiety.” Barnett {2007} -your experience? We seem ‘safe’ then along comes a Black Swan Moment {Taleb}.
  • 11. PREPARED FOR THE UNPREPARED? Award winning Danish animation film The Danish Poet {2007}emphasised learning to become prepared for the unprepared. The Film’s core moral was that to engage with the ambiguities and uncertainties of contemporary life is the real route to depth understanding and learning. As if life’s journey beckons us towards ambivalence

anyone know about MOTIVATIONAL INTERVIEWING?
  • 13. ADAPTING BLOCK 1. INVITATION AND ASSENT To develop; to move forward. Establishing whether ‘I’ genuinely want to do so. What do ‘I’ need to make this initial commitment?
  • 14. We might then ask of ourselves whether what we aspire to is depth learning and understanding-intra personally, academically, professionally
.. Or might we feel safer with ambiguity, passivity, and disempowerment; amidst uncertainty.
  • 15. 1. {cont} What will be the ingredients that will enable me to more clearly: Participate Own Relationships Persevere with tasks Engage in processes/the learning process
  • 16. CORE FOCUS Intrinsic motivation. Willingness to develop self midst the reflexive learning process {Ledwith fc Handbook 30017} Openness to risk taking; working effectively midst uncertainty. Accepting failure as part of the learning process.
  • 17. LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES In inviting others to ‘the conversation’/for engagement ‘I/we’ are investing in them. Yet we are by no means wholly certain. Investment which is more effectively realised in those who engage/actively engage. In turn ‘they’ may well draw others closer to engagement. How does this ‘play out’ in this room? Your group?
  • 18. 2.EXPLORING AND REALISING POSSIBILITIES Looking forward. Not remaining rooted in the past. Freeing up our own creativity. Innovating, challenging the status quo/’My’ own status quo. Breaking new ground.
  • 19. CORE FOCUS Opportunity. Freedom to choose. To accept personal responsibility

negotiating the freedom to act. Risk and uncertainty.
  • 20. LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES Raising the awareness of community members, group members in relation to their freedom. ‘Disturbing the peace/piece’. Fuelling uncertainty? Refreshing perspective.
  • 21. 3.OWNING MY OWN LEARNING PROCESS What’s ‘My’ part in getting this far? Avoiding blame, gossip and negativity. Making ‘My’ own change not waiting to be changed?
  • 22. CORE FOCUS Retaining emphases of choice, freedom and responsibility. Considering options/possibilities open to us. Thus unearthing passion and commitment. Built on foundations of resonance and meaning.
  • 23. CORE FOCUS {cont} That something genuinely means something to us

.’I’ have a grounded basis to act. What am ‘I’ doing here? This Programme/Module? What am ‘I’ doing {intending to do} in my professional role? Taking responsibility in and for our learning and development.
  • 24. LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES Resisting the lure of problem solving. Uncertainty and risk for both leader{s} and participants. Staying focussed on ‘their’ understandings of possibility{ies} until
. ‘Other/s’ speak with resonance and passion.
  • 25. 4.RISKING DISSENT Saying ‘No’ in an informed and principled way. Sometimes we need to say ‘No’ to get to ‘Yes’. Commitment .v. Doubt

reaching a synthesised position.
  • 26. RISKING DISSENT {cont} What I do not want can help in finding what I do want. Failure can enrich learning. Opting out is without adult status. Tension and conflict can be creative.
  • 27. CORE FOCUS Commitment in this context is found in authentic learning and practice; how will I share my aspirations? Authentic being begets authentic practice. See for example Nash Popovic Personal Synthesis. Commitment to own progress, the whole Group, MI Group; professional domain{s}.
  • 28. LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES ‘Working with Other/s’ to explore commitment and doubt. Facilitating and exploring an owned/share an environment where trust can grow.
  • 29. Where it can be safe to articulate doubts, fears, uncertainties
 Alongside aspirations, hope, joy. Leaders never have answers to everything.
  • 30. 5.OFFERING COMMITMENT Nurturing ‘My’ own learning and development. Promises to the Group/sub groups. Engaging with these promises. Articulating them {internally/externally}. Beyond mere personal gain.
  • 31. CORE FOCUS What assets/capabilities do I bring to this journey? ‘My’ willingness to acknowledge? What makes me suitable for this learning/professional domain? ‘My’ contribution to the trust pool?
  • 32. LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES Lip service=weak currency {discuss}. I/we are looking to build authentic commitment Who is looking to join us? Who is harbouring ‘No in a mask’? Courage to commit. Anyway boundaries lurk
  • 33. 6.FUSING: DYNAMIC CONVERSATION Clarifying to self what ‘I’ am bringing to the Group. The positives that ‘I’ am prepared to own. Building on them/working from ‘My’ potential. Changing ‘Myself’; positively impacting on others.
  • 34. CORE FOCUS Continuing to integrate the positive about and within self. Authentic self in ‘My’ imperfections. Inspiring others, leading others. Quietly ‘modelling’ to allay doubts, fears. Valuing reciprocity.
  • 35. LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES Genuine capability infuses the community, group, sub group. Such capability both exposes and conceals itself. Ultimately, bringing all capabilities to the fore. Bringing the gifts of those at the margins closer.
  • 36. BIBLIO Barnett,R. {2007}. A Will To Learn: Being a Student in an Age of Uncertainty. McGraw Hill Block, P. http://www.designedlearning.com/ [online]. Accessed19 September 2011. Hofstede, G. {1994}. Cultures and Organisations: Software of the Mind-Intercultural Cooperation and its importance for survival. Harper Collins. Cooper Ramo, J. {2009 } The Age of the Unthinkable: Why the New World Disorder Constantly Surprises Us and What to Do About It. Little Brown Taleb, N.{2007}. The Black Swan: The Impact of the HighlyImprobable. Penguin Books Taleb, N. Learning to expect the unexpected. [online]. http://www.edge.org/3rd_culture/taleb04/taleb_indexx.html Accessed 29 September 2009.
  • 37. MYTH We typically think of myth in a socio cultural context; organisations included. You might like to consider the mythology, for example, surrounding the community that you live in, or come from. Consider meaning that is made about such socio cultural environments. What stories are told, do you tell? What rituals are observed? Is myth unquestionably a positive or negative phenomenon? What kinds of stories are told about these communities? What myths pertain to you? Do you uphold, protect? What are the pay offs that you derive?
  • 38. MYTH Are you conscious about having ‘pushed back horizons’ in relation to yourself? An example might be a tolerance of uncertainty where once your personal horizon indicated having to be certain before you could act? Extend your reflections to communities and how they might come to push back horizons. The community that could not improve, respect itself?
  • 39. Orbach, S. {2001} Towards Emotional Literacy.” Virago Press. Being able to recognise what we are feeling so that it doesn’t interfere with our thinking. Another dimension to draw upon when making decisions/encountering situations. Being able to harness what we are feeling as an aid to understanding and focussing.
  • 40. Allowing our feelings to inform how we prioritise. Taking responsibility for our feelings and acknowledging how we impact on family, friends, and colleagues etc
  • 41. EMOTIONAL LITERACY DEFICIT Not being in touch with our feelings; gender stereotyping feelings. Denying the importance of feelings in life and work decision making. Pretending that life and work are merely about cognition and rationality. Displacing feelings or dumping them, thus not taking appropriate responsibility for how we impact on others. Consider the notion of toxic emotions-socio cultural, & individual.
  • 42. AMBIVALENCE The coexistence of opposing attitudes or feelings, such as love and hate, toward a person, object, or idea. Uncertainty or indecisiveness as to which course to follow. The state of feeling two conflicting emotions at the same time . Ambivalency: a state of being; a conflictual state, entailing opposition between two simultaneous but incompatible feelings; s/he was immobilized/torn by conflict and indecision.
  • 43. AMBIVALENCE AS RESOURCE From the understandings in the previous slide, consider ambivalence that you may have experienced. How might ambivalence manifest and impact within groups, organisations, and communities? How might such ambivalence be ‘used’ whilst working with people in a social setting? How might your own ambivalence impact upon such social settings?