2. The Catism Times- Monthly Edition Newsletter Two. June 26, 2009
D C ear atolics,
With a long night ahead of me, baking a wedding cake (which takes 7 hours to
bake and decorate) –FACT LEARNT FROM WATCHING MASTER CHEF IS CATERING,
What up with that?- I learnt a life moral, when in need eat a seed. This derives from
the Latin root of the Ancient Greek-Latians, they traditionally ate seeds from tulip or
arrays of roses (though modern day roses are said to have no seeds but reproduce
from cuttings –googled-) the Greeks ate the seeds as they believed it gave them
new life and a small plant would bloom inside of them literally, yes I think they were
most defiantly crazy. During the night Emma.Peardon (my co-chef) asked me why is
there fabric hanging outside on the catering clothesline thing, I turned to face her
and then burst into Aloe Vera dance and answered “The fabric flows through the
winds as a bird flies through the sky” I did quote this so beautifully that Emma replied
“YA mum” I began to freak out and worry about the cake as the royal icing kept
ripping as I attempted to ice it, Then Emma-Cat tossed a seed and I once again
burst out into Aloe Vera dance singing the lyrics ‘WHEN IN NEED.. EAT A SEED’. I think
my story is such an inspiration for young and old Catolics to go by no matter if you
joined this religion yesterday or when it was first created! The morals are clear when
Emma.P is here(Emma-cat my co-chef resembling Catman <our god>) she acts as
the seed of happiness and to do so you must devour the seed to be happy, arriving
to true quote when in need of happiness, joy and calm eat a seed or a person who
has positive attitude because by eating them (or devouring) you will be happy
(please note: DO NOT actually eat the person just politely ask them to throw a seed
at you) I hope you find yourselves well and ask you to keep MJ cat (Michael
Jackson) in your heart as he passed away of a heart attack or cardio arrest
(whatever works), I understand the hard time his and his cat family is going through
so please honour our cat neighbour and pray he is in cateaven. You’re Pope
Trumpy Fat-Cat (Catie cat, Kitty Catie Cat).
Truth of the story; Emma Peardon is a total babe cat.
Video of the Month- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_udqEp_YR4 and
http://www.youtube.com/watch#!
v=Q_bzB0qctnE&feature=channel
3. The Catism Times- Monthly Edition Newsletter Two. June 26, 2009
Friend of the week!-
Acknowledgements to my good friend Vincent Tomcat
who will be visiting the diocese of Cathampton on the
10-15th of July, Tomcat grew up in a poor family forced to
eat fattening IGA brand cat food it was this that inspired
Tomcat to help poorer families of cats like his so he
organised a charity shop called St. Vincent de Tomcat
which provides the essentials and helps
many cats across the globe. Vincent
Tomcat is someone we can all admire;
He will be visiting Bundaberg on the 12th
located at Angus and Robertson’s
Hinkler Central for a book signing of his
new religious book The Cat’s Vatican from 11:00am-3:00pm, please do not be
mislead by the picture/his name he is a kitten not a cat.
Important Notices-
-The word HolyCat is now a swear word is several countries these include:
Neverland, Argentina, Narnia, New Hamsterdamm and Dangerous-Hotsoup.
-New members are automatically baptised no paperwork necessary but if you
would so like the paperwork (as it’s awesome) feel free to ask. (forms at end of
Newsletter)
-Mojo jojo is not a cat; he is a Buddhist mutated monkey
Who fights the power puff girls. He really is an inspirational
person as he has values that we can all relate to such as:
Rad looks, peace, harmony, wit, laughter and wisdom in
all whom he interacts with, however as he is not a cat, do
not worship him, or you will be excommunicated.. Possibly called a heretic and
suffer torcher etc.
-To finish off the Important Noticed today I’d like to thank all Catolic Members and
let you know that suggestions for this religion are always open by simply emailing
any ideas to Catolics@hotmail.com or contacting us at Catolic Headquarters a
24/7 phone line : 1800 Catmon. Notice it is not Catman but Catmon.
(Please note: this email address and phone number are not real please do not try
and contact them.)
5. The Catism Times- Monthly Edition Newsletter Two. June 26, 2009
Conclusion:
NEWSLETTER :D ilyxoxo
Wait no ily for STEPH, GEORGE, EMMA AND EMELYN
Totally ate my muffin- NOT COOL
catism form below. Roars :D