The best commit messages from the 2015 edition of CMSC 23300 - Networks and Distributed Systems.

1. The Best Commit Messages of 2015
or
(The Unexpected Virtue of Using Git)
University of Chicago – CMSC 23300 Networks and Distributed Systems

2. Before we begin, let's take
a look back at the...

3. Top Ten Commit Messages of 2014

4. 10. Borja is keeping me from doing my
chinese homework
9. a very terrible disaster has been
avoided here
8. holy hell, idk how this worked but
it's working omg i might crie it's so
beautiful
7. i love the smell of segfaults in the
morning
6. have to debug in really weird ways
because I stubbornly refuse to use emacs
through ssh

5. 5. well, nothing works, all tests fail,
and i have no idea how to implement this
RFC, but it's not immidiately
segfaulting, so, i've got that going for
me
4. I STILL HAVEN'T DONE MY CHINESE
HOMEWORK :(
3. oh my god, it's spelled LUSERS, not
LUSER
2. last push of the night
jk can't stop

6. 1. worked an additional day, finished
everything but send function is clearly
broken so test all fail. this is hell on
earth. I would pray to God, but I don't
know how to correctly send messages.

7. And give an honorable
mention to...

8. The Best Branch Names of 2015
wat
abcd
poop
ughhhhhh
aaaahhhhhh
stupid-merge-branch
cleanuptimeyay
crappy-fix-to-motd-that-might-work
fixing-peek/read-life-falls-apart
idunf kedup
gottadeletebranches
jankp1b
saturday
-does-actual-work
-shenanigans
-f ks-around
structuralism-at-its-best
structuralism-at-its-finest
structuralism-hotfix
rto-rto-wherefore-art-thou-rto

9. The Best Commit Messages of 2015

10. $ grep “^[^a-z]+$” commits.txt
STRUCTS
.....
???
HEY
AHHH
YOOOO
111[1[1[1[1[1[1[1Z1Z1
<= != <

11. $ grep “^[^a-z]+$” commits.txt
WHY WON'T LUSERS WORK WTF
I HATE SEGFAULTS
I HATE MODESTR
CODE IS NOT READY
SHUT UP PYTHON
IT WAS THE LOOOOOOOOOCKS

13. $ grep “^[^a-z]+$” commits.txt
POINTSSSSS
SO MANY
POINTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. TAKE
THAT CRAB!
YO 80% ARENT WE COOL
GOT DAT 50
91%, OMG, DROP_PACKET WORKSSSS
LUSERS WORKS. WHAT. IS. UP. 10/10

14. $ grep “^[^a-z]+$” commits.txt
WORKING YISSSSSSS
THAT WAS SUCH A GIANT BUG OH MY GOD
TIMEOUTS ARE GONE WOOP WOOP WOOP
IM ON FIRE
I FIXED EVERYTHING
I AM A GOD AMONGST MEN
FK THE MESSAGE OF THE DAY I HAVE SLAIN
THE DRAGON

15. $ grep “^[^a-z]+$” commits.txt
EVERYTHING COMPILES AND THERE'S NO
SEGFAULTS OMG IM SO HAPPY IM CRYING
PRAISE RMS
OMFG WE'RE PASSING ALL OF THE TESTS YES
YES YES YES YESY SEYESY YESYSYE YES THAT
-S OPTION IS AMAZING I LOVE YOU

BUG FIXED, MOTHAF KAAAZ

16. $ grep “[oO]{3}” commits.txt
woooo
woooo points
16 tests pass out of 59 now wooooooo
infinite looooooooop
woooooooooooooooooooootttttt
nooooooooooo
last commit of the night
yoooooooooooooooo

17. $ grep ! commits.txt
commit message!
Fun with files!!
Three way handshake is passing! Wahooo!!
bumped up version # to 0.4b. now with
full 1b functionality and 7x fewer
memory leaks!
it compiles! doesn't reply to anything,
though
working! i think

18. $ grep "^...$" commits.txt | sort -u
???
...
33%
~80
abc
ahh
bye
fin
fix
git
god
grr
HEY
hm:
WHO
why
wow
wut
yay
yup
zzz
idk
kay
new
oof
ugh
wat
who
$ grep "^....$" commits.txt | sort -u
7/10
ahhh
AHHH
asdf
away
blah
Blah
bleh
bugs
buh?
Done
dsad
edit
Edit
eidt
fail
fine
grrr
help
last
list
LIST
save
s t
sigh
simc
temp
test
todo
typo
work
more
motd
MOTD
okay
okya
oops
Oops
part
ping
pong
Redo

19. $ grep -i bug commits.txt | wc --lines
221

20. $ grep -i bug commits.txt
bugs
Will this solve our bug?
Bug fixes, eww, there is a spider
INCREDIBLY BUGGY MODES
compiling code with bug
ALL of the debug messages, hooray
lldb sucks. gonna debug over ssh

21. $ grep -i segfault commits.txt
Clean up the retransmission functions
and OH GOD THE SEGFAULTS
infinite loop, but at least it compiles
and there are no segfaults
all the robustness tests are now okay.
DID THAT SOLVE THE PROLEM OF THE
DISAPPEARING SEGFAULT? ONLY TIME WILL
TELL
IT SENDS WITHOUT SEGFAULTING

22. $ grep -i segfault commits.txt
sometimes it passes, sometimes it
segfaults; tis life
welp stuff is segfaulting and things
nothing loops or segfaults but pass the
test it doesn't
fixed the segfault ... FOR NOW
good night segfaults

23. $ grep -i ^why commits.txt
why don't i sleeeeeeppppp
why the hell did this start working
why
why no users in channel
why did it take me half an hour to find
this bracket mismatch? nobody knows
why no pass :(
why does this not work
why why is it segfaulting when trying to
send this PART msg to itself it sux

24. $ grep -i god commits.txt
god
god help me
submission p1c ready (please god)
I FIXED FIN. I REPEAT, FIN IS FIXED. oh
my god i am so tired.
added threading, god knows if it works
simultaneous teardown tests now working.
maybe there is a god after all
the tcp gods are cruel and unmerciful
committing my files as an offering to
the great gods of Git
THE GODS HAVE SMILED UPON ME TODAY

25. $ grep -i borja commits.txt
tabs -> spaces to appease borja
fixing git for borja
still getting spurious segfaults on
disorderly close. talked to two different
TAs, who both said not to worry about it
too much, but it is driving me slowly
insane. borja has not answered my piazza
followup. it seems that god has indeed
forsaken us, after all.
Made host a global (eat your heart out
borja)

26. best. motd. file. ever.

27. $ grep -i "<hell>" commits.txt
well, first of all that was a hell of a
merge, secondly now most of the data
transfer tests pass sometimes so that's
kind of progress.
why the hell did this start working

28. $ grep -i csil commits.txt
moving to csil
working on part. moving to csil machine
some minor changes -- time for csil
also wrote out of order transmission
code for establish. In fact all my code
is only for the established state. Now
debugging commence... not how I like to
write code but god could csil be any
more sterile.
hour eight in CSIL. supplies low. morale
lower.
still not working but lldb sucks and
csil should be open for forever

29. $ grep -i csil commits.txt
Does not compile, currently commiting
and leaving csil
working on names/join. getting kicked
out of csil
cleaning a little. getting kicked out of
csil very soon
kicked out of csil so this is all broken
Non-compiling code bc CSIL closing
Submitting non-making code because CSIL
closing

30. $ grep -i hate commits.txt
i hate git
added changes to a new file for merge
handling - hate git
i hate you git
i hate git, merge conflict, this version
is wrong
I hate merges

31. $ grep -i hate commits.txt
i hate merging
i hate merging so much
i hate merging so much, trying to fix
things up
i hate merging so much, trying to fix
things up, i think i did?
i hate merging so much, trying to fix
things up, i think i did? whatever

32. $ grep -i s t commits.txt
st
st compiles
Removed st.
st doesn't segfault on nice input
st passes tests now
make st work
user handler: sending st hopefully
mutexes don't break st
there is a segfault what is this
bullst
dis st be broke
woah st didn't break hallelujah

33. $ grep -i s t commits.txt
added rt send and rt ack functions to
the entire handshake, nothing sts
itself
things close without a hitch, added
updatequeue to syn_sent packet arrival
and it isn't stting itself
everything is stting itself, and its
simclists fault - seeker is going past
end of list in in_ch_given_chnicks

34. $ grep -i fk commits.txt
fk this
F k this s t, I can't wait for next week 
f king timeout s t 
f king modes f k 
f k deadlocks
f k yes another test passing
F K YEAH WE ARE DONE
how the f k did I pass two more tests? I only
fixed one of them. this is gonna bite me in
the ass later isn't it? f k me
git couldn't merge a blank line with a
deletion of the blank line. motherf ker what
are you even good for
hungover as f k

35. Alright, Borja, here's a more descriptive
commit message. Fixed message decoder to
correctly read the recv buffer over to a
buffer that will become a message string.
Deleted lots of useless tests. Still need to
fix the handler function. Morale is relatively
high. High of 20 with a cold front coming in
tonight leading to a low of 3, the sky will be
partially cloudy. Such descriptive, much
project 1b. Wow.
Huge commit. [...] The weather tonight will be
clear, with a 50% chance of showers tomorrow.
, out.
Pthread implementation added into main
function [...]. Cloudy skies into the late
afternoon with a chance of showers after
midnight. Morale is high, but you have died of
dysentery.

36.  why did you put the binary file in the
repo... -_-
omg  stop adding these to the repo
STOP PUSHING THESE FILES TO THE REPO 

37. for want of a packet
memory access was lost
i can't seem to hack it
i miss using frost

38. just added threading
and thread-safe token parsing
using strtok_r

39. can send notices
bug in private messaging
as yet unresolved

40. LUSERS command
has been partially written
need to add threading

41. added thread locking
but lusers tests still fail
problem is unclear

42. LUSERS tests pass
wasn't counting every new thread...
we are jubilant

43. At last we are done
It passes all of your tests
Tonight we get drunk