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Fear & Loathing in Perl
   brian d foy <brian.d.foy@gmail.com>
       Nordic Perl Workshop 2007
What happens when
you can’t say “No”
0h0m Read mail
• Delete comment spam in O’Reilly blog
• “Can I subscribe to The Perl Review online?”
• “Sorry to bother you off the list, but...”
 • “can you put numbers in scalars?”
 • “will Perl work in foreign countries?”
• “Exercise 4.3 in Learning Perl doesn’t work in Java 1.1!”
• “Can you do this for free, it only takes five minutes?”
0h5m RSS Feeds

• Google Blogsearch for...
 • “Learning Perl”
 • “Intermediate Perl”
 • “Mastering Perl” -tk -bioinformatics
 • “brian d foy”
0h20m PAUSE admin
• Why can’t I call my module
  XML::FGHJ::TRE::DAV::HTML::XML?
• Please register Net::iCal
• How about the top-level namespace “Code”
• Why does that Bunce guy get DBI all to himself?
• The module author didn’t accept my patch, can I
  have the namespace?
0h25m perlfaq
• Posts an answer to comp.lang.perl.misc
  every 6 hours
• Your answer sucks!
• Tell Uri to shut up
• Explain answer as nicely as possible, again
• Remind everyone I just maintain it, I didn’t
  write most of it
0h35m Use.perl editor
• Edit and approve stories for Use.perl
• Newbie writes “Check out this story on that
  cool thing at http://tinyurl.foo/asdf.html”
• Lonely_hacker writes “I have a date on
  Friday with this girl at the office and I have
  to install Ubuntu for her that day! Woo hoo!
  And I wrote a perl script last night.”
• Complain to Chris about crappy SlashCode
• Chris responds “Bite me!”
0hXm TPR Calendar

• Check other Perl calendars for events
• Add everything I’ve discovered today
• Work on converting XML feed to RSS
• Stupid half-assed Google apps!
• Give up on that until tomorrow
0h55m Stonehenge
• Jaiku from Randal at 13:30
    “I’m in FLL with a 3 hour layover”
• Jaiku from Randal at 14:30
    “Two hours to go! Missed upgrade!”
• Jaiku from Randal at 14:31
    “Uploaded perlcast news”
• Jaiku from Randal at 14:32
    “Just saw someone booting linux”
1h05m CPAN Testers

• Find one important report in 15 FAILs
• Discover it’s on Windows 3.1 using
  Perl5.005 with CPANPLUS
• Put off until some user complains
1h06m RT Queue
• Try to fix one ticket a day
• Look at all new tickets for my modules
• Remember how to remove myself from
  CPAN.pm queue (again)
• Start working on a ticket
• Fix something in kwalitee instead
• Just do two tickets tomorrow
Check for new kwalitee
•   docs_make_sense
•   mentions_kwalitee
•   uses_version_control
•   reuses_code
•   uses_recursion
•   correct_speling
Work on Llama 6
• Read perl6.language
• Figure out Synopses diffs
• Rewrite section on file test operators
  (again)
• Inadvertently start long thread
• Put off until tomorrow

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Fear And Loathing In Perl (NPW 2007)

  • 1. Fear & Loathing in Perl brian d foy <brian.d.foy@gmail.com> Nordic Perl Workshop 2007
  • 2. What happens when you can’t say “No”
  • 3. 0h0m Read mail • Delete comment spam in O’Reilly blog • “Can I subscribe to The Perl Review online?” • “Sorry to bother you off the list, but...” • “can you put numbers in scalars?” • “will Perl work in foreign countries?” • “Exercise 4.3 in Learning Perl doesn’t work in Java 1.1!” • “Can you do this for free, it only takes five minutes?”
  • 4. 0h5m RSS Feeds • Google Blogsearch for... • “Learning Perl” • “Intermediate Perl” • “Mastering Perl” -tk -bioinformatics • “brian d foy”
  • 5. 0h20m PAUSE admin • Why can’t I call my module XML::FGHJ::TRE::DAV::HTML::XML? • Please register Net::iCal • How about the top-level namespace “Code” • Why does that Bunce guy get DBI all to himself? • The module author didn’t accept my patch, can I have the namespace?
  • 6. 0h25m perlfaq • Posts an answer to comp.lang.perl.misc every 6 hours • Your answer sucks! • Tell Uri to shut up • Explain answer as nicely as possible, again • Remind everyone I just maintain it, I didn’t write most of it
  • 7. 0h35m Use.perl editor • Edit and approve stories for Use.perl • Newbie writes “Check out this story on that cool thing at http://tinyurl.foo/asdf.html” • Lonely_hacker writes “I have a date on Friday with this girl at the office and I have to install Ubuntu for her that day! Woo hoo! And I wrote a perl script last night.” • Complain to Chris about crappy SlashCode • Chris responds “Bite me!”
  • 8. 0hXm TPR Calendar • Check other Perl calendars for events • Add everything I’ve discovered today • Work on converting XML feed to RSS • Stupid half-assed Google apps! • Give up on that until tomorrow
  • 9. 0h55m Stonehenge • Jaiku from Randal at 13:30 “I’m in FLL with a 3 hour layover” • Jaiku from Randal at 14:30 “Two hours to go! Missed upgrade!” • Jaiku from Randal at 14:31 “Uploaded perlcast news” • Jaiku from Randal at 14:32 “Just saw someone booting linux”
  • 10. 1h05m CPAN Testers • Find one important report in 15 FAILs • Discover it’s on Windows 3.1 using Perl5.005 with CPANPLUS • Put off until some user complains
  • 11. 1h06m RT Queue • Try to fix one ticket a day • Look at all new tickets for my modules • Remember how to remove myself from CPAN.pm queue (again) • Start working on a ticket • Fix something in kwalitee instead • Just do two tickets tomorrow
  • 12. Check for new kwalitee • docs_make_sense • mentions_kwalitee • uses_version_control • reuses_code • uses_recursion • correct_speling
  • 13. Work on Llama 6 • Read perl6.language • Figure out Synopses diffs • Rewrite section on file test operators (again) • Inadvertently start long thread • Put off until tomorrow