1. 1

2. Discover Your
Strengths
Brent O'Bannon
2

3. Discover Your Strengths
Copyright 2012 by Brent O’Bannon, MBS
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted
in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including
photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval
system without written permission from the author, except for the
inclusion of brief quotations in a review.
The author, editing team, and publisher have made every effort to ensure
accuracy and completeness of the information contained in this book. We
assume no responsibility for errors, inaccuracies, omissions, or any
inconsistency herein. Any slights of people, places, or organizations are
unintentional. The author and R&B Publishing shall have neither liability
nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss or
damage caused directly or indirectly by the information contained in this
book, and we do not represent or endorse the accuracy or reliability of any
of the recommendations, ideas, or quality of any products, information, or
other materials included in the individual chapter.
R&B Publishing
115 S. Travis, Ste. 303
Sherman, TX 75090
First Edition: July 2012
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
O’Bannon, Brent O'Bannon
Discover Your Strengths, 1st ed.
ISBN 978-0-9798049-8-4
1. Psychology 2. Management 3. Business
3

4. Dedicated to my first mastermind
that discovered and applied
our strengths to business success:
Latham, Ruth, Steve, Brett, Mike, Ryan
4

5. Acknowledgements
“Gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”
-G.K. Chesterton
My right hand assistant and rock star, Rachael
Kay Albers, is to be highly thanked for her hours of
transcribing, editing, and creative expertise in the
completion of this writing project. Rachael’s top five
strengths are Activator, Strategic, Connectedness,
Individualization, and Communication. I highly
recommend Rachael as a virtual assistant, writer,
and web designer. You can find her at
www.RKAink.com. Thank you for who you are and
what you share.
5

6. Table of Contents
Unlocking Your Potential ..................................... 9
What is a Strength? ............................................. 42
Creating Momentum ........................................... 67
Starting Your Journey ......................................... 96
Getting Strategic ................................................ 134
Influencing Success ...........................................165
Building Strong Relationships ...........................197
On the Road With Your Strengths ....................228
6

7. Chapter 1
Unlocking Your Potential
“Life is like a combination lock; when you get the right
numbers in the right order, you unlock your potential.”
Brian Tracy
In my twenty years as a licensed professional
counselor, I have always believed that every human
being has their own recipe for success—their own
combination of potential. This combination is not
something you must search for outside yourself, it’s
already inside of you. It’s your responsibility to get
the right numbers in the right order to access your
natural potential.
7

8. In my life, as well as in coaching more than
27,000 people in twenty years, I have discovered that
the “right numbers” are best known as our strengths.
When you identify your top five strengths and begin
to understand how these strengths apply to your
personal and professional life, this knowledge will
literally unlock your potential. This happened for me
about two and a half years ago when I created what is
called a Mastermind group and invited several
businesspeople and entrepreneurs from my
community to join me. I wanted to learn from their
successes—both personal and professional—and, to
my delight, they jumped at the chance.
In an early meeting, one particular individual
in the group—a life and business coach himself—
encouraged all of us to take the StrengthsFinder 2.0
assessment from the book by Tom Rath. Yet, with my
background in Psychology, I thought I had already
8

9. taken all the psychological assessments worth
consulting, so I dismissed the StrengthsFinder as a
fad: “I really don’t want to take another assessment. I
already know it all.” Finally, another group member
took the assessment and, two weeks later, shared
with us how inspired he was by the results. Not one
to be left out, I went ahead and purchased the
StrengthsFinder 2.0, took the assessment and—
wow!—I felt like I was lit on fire when I discovered
my top five strengths. From that moment, I have
been a passionate advocate of discovering your
strengths, applying them in your life, and building
your life around them. And, as you might guess, my
wife and two adult children have also discovered
their top strengths, as well as many of my coaching
clients. With the purchase of this book, you join
countless other individuals with undiscovered talents
who are ready to get their hands on the keys to
9

10. unlocking their potential. Are you ready to reach new
heights with your top five strengths?
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF
º
I am Brent O’Bannon and I am an executive
strengths coach that builds strengths based
organizations and creates momentum for leaders
and teams. I have conducted more than 27,000
coaching sessions and spoken to more than 55
organizations in the United States and China.
Retrieving Your Keys
I want to ask you a question. Have you ever
locked your keys in your car? I have. (When I was in
college, it seemed like every other day I was locking
10

11. myself out of my car. In fact, I got what was called
the “Coat Hanger Award” because I became
somewhat of an expert on using a coat hanger to get
inside my vehicle and retrieve my keys.) One day, it
dawned on me that many of us get locked out of our
potential—our capacity for success—because we have
lost our keys. So, we try to white knuckle it—we work
extra hard on our weaknesses, trying to overcome or
improve our soft spots. But the point is, we're
focused on our weaknesses, not our strengths. When
asked, “What are your strengths? What do you do
well?” most people automatically respond with what
they are not good at—we have been conditioned to
think in terms of weaknesses, not strengths. What I
have discovered is that when we quit trying to do it
ourselves and we hire a coach—a locksmith with a
slim jim who can quickly open the door so we can get
our hands on the keys—that is what gets us moving
11

12. towards our destination, our dreams. By starting this
book, you have already taken that first step. Imagine
me as your locksmith. Follow along and I'll help put
the keys in your hands to get you moving towards
your dreams. The good news is, your keys are ready
for you to use. No need to go searching for them—
you can access your personal and professional
1
potential in minutes. My client Brenda is a great
example. Brenda, like you, enlisted me as her
“strengths locksmith” and we worked together to
help get her on the road to success. A few big things
happened to Brenda in the process:
She learned brand new things about herself
She developed a language for her strengths
She learned how to balance her strengths;
and
1 Brenda graciously gave me permission use her story in this book.
12

13. She jumpstarted her marriage.
Before coaching, Brenda was like many of us
raised with a deficiency-based model of personal
development—she could never express what she was
good at because she was so focused on her
weaknesses. When she discovered her top five
strengths, Brenda's self-awareness and self-
confidence skyrocketed. Some of us have an idea of
what our strengths are, we just don’t have the right
words—a language—to describe them. Through
coaching, Brenda learned how to clearly articulate
her top five strengths—and you will, too. (Of course,
we all have more than five strengths, but the top five
are the most dominant. These strengths are where
we want to focus to get moving towards success.) In
our sessions, when Brenda and I discussed balancing
strengths and focusing away from weaknesses, I
13

14. shared how, when we overuse a strength, it can
derail us from success, whereas a strength—overused
or not—is never a weakness. An overused strength
can be a hindrance, but it is never a weakness. The
real danger lies in underusing strengths, whether we
are simply unaware of them or have forgotten about
them from years past. When we aren't using all of
our strengths, the terrain towards prosperity
becomes that much more difficult to navigate.
In Brenda's case, I helped her focus less on
her weaknesses so she could concentrate on
balancing—and maximizing—each of her top five
strengths. (And I'm going to show you how to do the
same!) One of my best coaching moments—for both
me and Brenda—was when she called me with big
news, only six weeks after we started working
together. Originally, Brenda hired me to help her
work towards a promotion and I knew the interview
14

15. was coming up, so I had my fingers crossed when I
answered the phone. I started beaming as soon as I
heard the excitement in her voice. Sure enough,
Brenda's strengths-infused interview was a success!
With her new sense of self-confidence, as well as her
“strengths script”—the language she used to define
and communicate her strengths—Brenda was able to
sell herself and unlock her potential, catapulting her
into the next career and income level. But, since she
only expected results in her professional life, the big
surprise was how discovering her strengths affected
Brenda's marriage, her take on parenthood, and her
relationships with family and friends. These types of
results are why I do what I do—guiding people to use
their strengths, not only to yield career success, but
also to help improve their love lives, deepen their
connections with their kids, and grow their sense of
personal satisfaction. When you understand each
15

16. person's unique set of strengths and they know how
to best deal with yours, you get your hands on the
key to healthy, thriving relationships.
DISCOVERY QUESTIONS
º
1. When was the last time you spoke about one of
your strengths with a friend, colleague, or family
member? When was the last time you spoke about a
weakness?
2. In five-ten words, write down some of the phrases
you currently use to describe your strengths.
The Strength Movement Begins
The father of the Strengths Movement was
16

17. Abraham Maslow, a second generation Jewish
immigrant from Russia and the eldest of seven
children, born in Brooklyn, New York. Maslow was a
timid, awkward young man who confronted heavy
anti-Semitism growing up in Brooklyn. He writes
about being picked on by gangs, called names, hit
with rocks, even beaten up, over the course of his
young life. Of course, Maslow wasn’t a perfect
person. He was a human being just like all of us,
struggling with the ghosts of his past and a difficult
relationship with his mother, whom he was quoted
as saying he was repulsed by because she never loved
him unconditionally. But what Maslow did do, after
studying Sigmund Freud, was develop a different
type of psychology—a “healthy” psychology, as he
deemed it. “It is as if Freud supplied us with the sick
half of psychology and we must now fill it out with
the healthy half,” he writes in Toward a Psychology
17

18. of Being. “There are two faces of human nature—the
sick and the healthy—so there should be two faces of
psychology.” Though Maslow was marked by the
negative effects of anti-Semitism and difficult family
dynamics, he found a way to focus on the healthy
side of psychology.
The Psychology of Potential
Maslow believed that all humans have a drive
to succeed and fulfill their human potential—that
we're not simply reacting to crisis or illness. You may
have read about his famous hierarchy of needs, the
basis of which is that all of us have physiological
needs—for food, water, warmth, etc.—which are what
we strive for, first and foremost. If you travel to a
developing country, for example, you'll see how the
18

19. majority of its population concentrates on meeting
these basic needs, making it difficult to focus on
anything else.
After physiological needs, safety needs are at
the next level of Maslow's hierarchy. Safety
encompasses not only physical security, protection,
and shelter, but a sense of emotional security, as
well. Have you ever noticed how living in a home that
protects you from the elements automatically gives
you a greater sense of security in general?
Following safety is what Maslow called the
belonging need. This is the need for relationships,
love, and, most importantly, unconditional
acceptance—something near and dear to Maslow's
heart. You can satisfy this need with family, friends,
or another type of “family” that you consciously
create. This happened to me. When I was a teenager
in high school, a family I knew would take me to
19

20. church every Sunday—something I had never been
involved in before. This adopted “family” connected
me with positive influences in my youth group and,
though I had a great relationship with my parents,
added to my sense of belonging—being part of a
community.
The next level in Maslow's hierarchy is self
esteem, the part of us that wants to have mastery
over ourselves and be significant in the world around
us—to achieve something and make a difference. We
want to know that who we are is important, a need
inextricably linked to being and doing our best,
which is the highest need that Maslow talked about—
self actualization.
According to Maslow, the pinnacle of life is
being your best, using your creative talents, having a
mission in life, making a difference in the world, and
pursuing the highest for yourself and the world
20

21. around you. Maslow was the first person to do case
studies on healthy, successful people. Instead of
focusing on mental illness and abnormal psychology,
he began by studying historical figures who were
successful—inspirational leaders like President
Thomas Jefferson or psychologist and philosopher
William James. Then, he moved to case studies on
his contemporaries, all while fleshing out his own
theory on success psychology, which eventually led
him to develop the thirteen characteristics of self-
actualizing people.
21

22. MASLOW'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS
º
22

23. The 13 Characteristics of Self-
Actualizing People
1. Self-actualizing people are comfortable
with reality and have a clear view of it. Not
overly negative, self-actualizing people are no
Pollyannas, either. Self-actualizing people possess a
balanced, straightforward understanding of the
reality of life.
2. Self-actualizing people have a natural
sense of spontaneity and simplicity without
pretension. In other words, self-actualizing people
are comfortable in their own skin.
3. Self-actualizing people are mission-
driven. Instead of focusing on themselves, self-
23

24. actualizing people direct their attention to fulfilling a
mission or purpose for the world around them.
4. Self-actualizing people have a healthy
sense of detachment and a need for privacy.
Another way to say this is boundaries, or, the ability
to detach and energize. Self-actualizing people love
themselves and enjoy solitude without feeling lonely.
5. Self-actualizing people are autonomous.
Not too reliant on others, the self-actualizing
individual is strongly independent.
6. Self-actualizing people feel deeply
grateful. A continued freshness of appreciation—a
sense of gratitude—for what one has in life, without
focusing on material wealth is another characteristic
24

25. of a self-actualizing person.
7. Self-actualizing people have peak
experiences. I have experienced many mystical
moments in my life, from watching the sun rise at
the Grand Canyon to delivering my first child and
literally bringing her into the world with my own
hands. Those are peak experiences that I will never
forget and they only enhance my sense of gratitude.
8. Self-actualizing people have a feeling of
kinship with the human race. Free of prejudice,
this kinship is the sense of being connected to all of
the world's people, no matter their beliefs or
experiences.
9. Self-actualizing people have strong
25

26. relationships. Though, they tend to limit deep,
intimate relationships to a small number of people.
10. Self-actualizing people have a
democratic character structure. Self-
actualizing people want to treat others fairly and be
treated fairly themselves.
11. Self-actualizing people have ethical
discrimination between means and ends.
Ethical discrimination between means and ends—
good and evil—is the foundation for serving others
instead of oneself and treating people with respect.
12. Self-actualizing people have a great
sense of humor. A friendly, playful sense of humor
26

27. allows self-actualizing people to laugh at themselves
and with the world.
13. Self-actualizing people balance the
polarities in their personality. For example, a
self-actualizing person who is serious minded can
also be playful and childlike. According to Maslow,
the ability to balance our polarities helps us achieve
our full potential.
DISCOVERY QUESTIONS
º
1. How self-actualizing do you feel you are, based on
Maslow's characteristics? Which of the thirteen
characteristics do you identify with your own
personality?
27

28. 2. What differences do you notice between your
personality and Maslow's thirteen characteristics?
3. Which of the thirteen characteristics of a self-
actualizing person do your friends and family
possess?
The Birth of Positive Psychology
Now that you have a basic understanding of
the growing Strengths Movement, I want to switch
gears and touch on the birth of positive psychology,
the father of which is Martin Seligman, a
psychologist and the former president of the
American Psychological Association (APA). Seligman
is best known for his assertion that psychology is
“half-baked,” referring to the community's narrow
28

29. focus on mental illness and its lack of understanding
of success, strengths, and human potential. Seligman
started a revolution aimed at understanding how
people become their best selves. I highly recommend
his books, Learned Optimism, Authentic Happiness,
and his latest, Flourish, which he wrote after being
hired by the U.S. Army to teach about mental
toughness and resilience to trauma. The book's
message is about redirecting the focus from post-
traumatic stress disorder to post-traumatic stress
growth and how people endure incredible trauma
and still become more resilient and successful.
Another one of the things that I really admire about
Seligman is how he veered from the Diagnostic
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the
manual of research by the APA that defines mental
illnesses. If you want to know about anxiety
disorders, major depression disorders, or personality
29

30. disorders, you go to the DSM. But Seligman and his
contemporaries devised a positive alternative,
originally called Values in Action, or the VIA, which
emphasizes strength and character, not illness. I
encourage you to take the VIA survey to determine
your top five character strengths—Seligman
developed twenty four. The VIA is the perfect
supplement to the StrengthsFinder 2.0 because it
helps add more texture and definition to your
developing “strengths script.”
The StrengthsFinder Revolution
At the head of the StrengthsFinder revolution
is Donald Clifton, the inspiration for strengths
psychology and the designer of the first strengths
finder assessment, teaming up with Gallup Polls,
30

31. who have now conducted over a million assessments
using his tool. Clifton, who passed away in 2003, was
a scientific trailblazer when it came to developing the
StrengthsFinder—the very assessment that you will
be learning about in the next few chapters. The
StrengthsFinder highlights thirty four different
strengths and is set apart from other similar
assessments because of its high level of consistency,
meaning that if you were to take this assessment
while feeling blue or on top of the world, you would
still discover the authentic you. If you take this
assessment in ten years, for example, you will likely
get identical results. In other words, according to
Donald Clifton, your core strengths are set from the
time you are born, though they do grow and evolve
over time.
31

32. The Modern Strengths Movement
The Strengths Movement continues to grow.
Two contemporary leaders are Marcus Buckingham
and Tom Rath—the author who partnered with
Gallup Polls to create the StrengthsFinder 2.0. Rath
also wrote Strengths Based Leadership with Barry
Conche, linking strengths to leadership. Marcus
Buckingham is the author of several books,
including, Go Put Your Strengths to Work: Six
Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding
Performance. (Rath and Buckingham are a couple of
my heroes and their work has inspired me to play my
own part in the Strengths Revolution!) In his book,
Go Put Your Strengths to Work, Marcus
Buckingham reveals the three myths and truths
about the Strengths Movement.
32

33. The Three Myths and Truths of
the Strengths Movement
Myth #1: Personalities change over time.
Ever heard popular wisdom that says, as you
grow and live, your personality changes?
Buckingham says that's nothing but a myth and—get
this—you can’t really be anything you want to be.
How many of us were taught that? The idea that, if
you work hard enough, you can be anything you want
to be? Myth. Buckingham suggests that, with your
strengths, you can become more of who you already
are. According to Buckingham's research, your
personality is predominately consistent from birth to
death. As you shift your mindset and learn how to
maximize your top five strengths, you cultivate what
is already inside of you. Your values, skills, self-
33

34. awareness, and behaviors might change but the most
dominant aspects of your personality—your talents—
will remain the same throughout your lifetime.
Myth #2: You will grow the most in your
areas of your greatest weakness
At school, at work, and at home, most of us
learn to concentrate on fixing our weak spots. If you
are disorganized, you better get organized. If you
dislike math, take on a tutor to become a whiz. Guess
what? It's a myth! Here is the truth according to
Marcus Buckingham—you will grow the most in your
areas of greatest strength. Your real potential lies,
not in eradicating your weaknesses, but in mining
and excavating the gold and the silver of your
strengths so that you will be the most inquisitive,
34

35. resilient, creative, and hungry to learn in that area.
And, because few people focus on maximizing their
strengths, instead of minimizing their weaknesses, as
a member of the Strengths Movement, you have the
competitive advantage!
Myth #3: A good team member does
whatever it takes to help the team
Myth. Marcus Buckingham maintains that the
best team members deliberately volunteer their
strengths to the team—most of the time. In other
words, many of us have been taught that you just
“pitch in”—no matter your contribution—because
that's what a good team member does. In the
Buckingham revolution, exemplary team members
volunteer their best strengths because they know
35

36. these strengths will benefit the team. A great team
member is not well-rounded, a great team is well-
rounded because highly successful teams utilize each
person's strengths.
Recommendations for Your
Strength Finder Assessment
1. Purchase your copy of the StrengthsFinder 2.0, the
second updated version of Donald Clifton's classic.
Inside the book is your unique code for the online
assessment—this code only applies to one user.
2. Go to StrengthsFinder.com and take the test.
3. Find a quiet, focused place where you will not be
interrupted by phone calls, family members, barking
36

37. dogs, or cats jumping up on your lap because the
assessment is timed and you have twenty seconds for
each question. The assessment aims at capturing
your instinctual, gut response to each question.
4. Answer each question authentically and quickly
instead of angling for certain strengths.
5. When you finish, check your inbox for a PDF
report highlighting your top five strengths. This
twenty four page report will describe each of your
strengths with accompanying case studies and action
strategies, as well as the best ways for others to
interact with you based on your top five strengths.
6. When you read your report, highlight any words or
phrases that resonate with you. Do the same with the
StrengthsFinder 2.0 book. You will find that the
37

38. report's description of each strength differs from the
book's because the report is personalized to your
unique combination of strengths. The book expands
upon the report, with more details on each individual
strength, so be sure to read both.
7. Don't worry—the StrengthsFinder 2.0 is an easy
read, though I encourage you to wait to read the
book until you take the assessment. Once you've
taken the assessment, go ahead and start reading.
8. As the foundation for the StrengthsFinder
Revolution, I encourage you to read the first book,
Now Discover Your Strengths, by Donald Clifton.
38

39. DISCOVERY QUESTIONS
º
1. Which of Buckingham's three myths have you
heard before? Which ones have you repeated to
other people?
2. What are you hoping to achieve by tapping into
your five signature strengths? What dreams
motivate you?
3. What are some of the words/phrases you
highlighted in your report? Which parts grabbed
your attention?
4. Are you surprised by any of your five signature
strengths? What is new about your results? Is there
anything that doesn't surprise you?
39

40. Chapter 2
What is a Strength?
“Success is achieved by developing our strengths, not by
eliminating our weaknesses.” Marilyn vos Savant
I'm a father of two—a daughter and a son—
and it amazes me how, even though they grew up in
the same family environment, their personalities are
so different. Psychologists studying nature versus
nurture say that about fifty percent of our personality
is genetic—what we're born with. The other fifty is
nurture—the environmental influence of the world
around us, as well as the people and caregivers in our
lives. And that's true with strengths, too. There's no
40

41. doubt that, when we are born, we possess a genetic
“code” for certain abilities (whether we like it or not).
Talent, the first of three things that make up a
strength, is in our blood, our brain, our makeup, and
our genes. However, a strength is not limited to
hardwiring. Over time, we acquire knowledge, the
second strength component—information picked up
from our environment and the people in it. As we
acquire information, we utilize it to create skills, the
third strength component.
The Four Levels of Learning
Learning information
Applying information
Teaching information
Relearning information
41

42. I believe there are four levels of learning.
First, we gain information, whereupon we are called
to do something about it—application. After that,
teaching is the next best way to deepen our
understanding of new information. And what's
exciting is that we never really stop learning—there is
always new information to process or knowledge that
we can gain from deepening our understanding of
“old” info. In fact, in order to avoid growing
stagnant, we must continue to seek knowledge, often
through “re-learning” what we thought we already
knew. Skill is the application of knowledge, through
which we develop wisdom—it is the ability to live it
out Skill fuels your performance in a particular
strength area.
Take Individualization, one of the strengths
highlighted in the StrengthsFinder 2.0 assessment.
42

43. Individualization is my #2 strength. According to the
StrengthsFinder 2.0, Individualization is the act of
being intrigued with the unique qualities of people.
It's a relationship strength—the ability to look for
one-of-a-kind stories. A person with
Individualization is a keen observer of people's
strengths. They have the ability to personalize
information or how they work with you. In my case, I
was an only child—no brothers and sisters to play
with—and I had to seek opportunities to connect. So,
I honed my Individualization strength. For the first
part of my life, I grew up in a metropolitan
environment. In our diverse neighborhood, there
were all kinds of people to meet and experiences to
be had—it's where I developed a taste for acquiring
knowledge about different cultures, different
mindsets, and different ways of thinking. Then, I
spent the second part of my adolescence in the
43

44. country, in a small town in East Texas. I went to a
little school called Grand Saline and was able to
experience the unique aspects of life in the country.
When I talk to people, I love to ask
questions—what is your background, what are your
dreams, what are your goals? I love to discover each
person's one-of-a-kind story, as if each individual
narrative were a stained glass picture totally different
from anyone else's. Each of you reading this book has
your own story. Some of you are motivated to apply
this to your work, some of you hope to use this
knowledge to help your children, some of you yearn
to transform your sense of personal satisfaction—I
wrote this book for each of you. For me, with
Individualization in my hardwiring, I am not only
sensitive to peoples' strengths and weaknesses, but
also their emotional ups and downs, their body
language, their moods. I naturally pick up on the
44

45. little things that make up a person's personality.
Many times, when I'm talking, coaching, or even
speaking to a large audience, I have an ability to
personalize whatever I'm sharing with the people in
front of me. How did I grow in my knowledge and
skill? In college, I studied Psychology, Sociology, and
Communications. Then, with my Master's in
Counseling Psychology, I deepened my knowledge
and understanding of people, their personalities, and
how to help people grow, succeed, deal with their
weaknesses, and create more happiness. All the
theories I learned—my classes, my reading, and my
personal experiences—opened up my career to do
counseling as a licensed professional counselor and
later, as a certified life coach.
As I write this, I realize I've been
Individualizing for twenty years—over 27,000
sessions of listening to peoples' one-of-a-kind
45

46. stories. You can't help but acquire skill if you are
applying knowledge for twenty years. Thus, you can
see how a strength like Individualization is
comprised of talent, knowledge, and skill.
DISCOVERY QUESTIONS
º
1. What are a few of your natural talents?
2. What skills do you regularly develop in your life?
3. Name a few topics on which you are
knowledgeable.
The SIGN Method
Think about your strengths. (Even if you
46

47. haven't taken the StrengthsFinder 2.0 assessment,
you still have a general idea of your natural talents.)
In his book, Go Put Your Strengths to Work,
Buckingham suggests exploring one's strengths using
what he calls the SIGN method.
S – Success
Ask yourself these questions:
Have I had a level of success in this activity?
Do people tell me that I'm skilled at this activity?
Have I won any awards for this strength?
I – Instinct
How often do I practice this activity? Every day?
47

48. Do I volunteer for this activity?
Volunteering indicates that a strength is
instinctual. If an activity is part of the natural flow of
your life, there is probably a strength right around
the corner.
G – Growth
Remember, it's a myth to believe that we can
be anything we want to be. But we can be more of
who we already are, and that's what Growth stands
for in SIGN. Growth is the ability to learn something
quickly and easily without struggling or seeing it as a
chore. Take psychology, in my case. I love thinking,
learning new ideas, and understanding people. I am
hungry—I can't wait to learn more about coaching
48

49. and counseling and I don't mind doing it. Thus, I
have incredible potential for growth in this area,
which is a good sign that psychology has something
to do with one of my top five strengths.
N – Needs
We all have needs. Remember Maslow's
hierarchy from Chapter One? A good sign of a
strength in a person's life is that it meets one of their
primary needs. You can look at this in a number of
ways, asking yourself:
Am I excited/eager to do this particular activity?
Do I have fun thinking about/doing this activity?
Does this activity give me a sense of purpose?
49

50. Passion and motivation to do a particular
activity, or simple enjoyment of the activity itself, are
signs that you have likely discovered a strength. The
needs component of Buckingham's Sign Method is
helpful when working with kids, as well as adults in
the work world. Though we tend to put people in
boxes, personalities are round. In order to have a
well-rounded team, family, and community, it is
important to find out what excites each person. If it
jazzes you up, there is a strength lurking nearby.
What is a Weakness?
Most of us are experts in noticing our
weaknesses, not our strengths, which is why it is
crucial to highlight the difference between the two.
Much like with strengths, we have a certain amount
50

51. of talent, knowledge, and skill in our areas of
weakness. For example, being Analytical is not
among my top five strengths. Many times, people
who have the Analytical strength are good with
technology and numbers—my personal weaknesses.
Sure, I have a basic talent for analytics because
research and math were part of my education in
Psychology, but, I struggled with math since grade
school. I didn't want to do division! And, by the time
I ended up trying to learn trig as a senior in high
school, I needed all kinds of tutoring to increase my
knowledge—my ability to understand trigonometry.
Despite all my hard work, I just couldn't get it. It
wasn't instinctual for me and, more than that, it
simply wasn't fun. Therefore, my skills in math and
technology are pretty basic. Thank God for
calculators, CPAs, and people with this strength—like
my dad, a gifted mathematician—because, for me, it's
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52. a weakness. You can re-use Buckingham's SIGN
technique when determining if something is a
weakness in your life by tweaking the language and
adding the word “lack.”
S – Lack of Success
Ask yourself these questions:
Have I experienced little success in this activity?
Do people tell me I need to improve in this area?
Have I never won any awards for this activity?
Personally, I have always had a lack of success
in math. (You won't catch me winning a math award
anytime soon!) Using SIGN, it is easy to pin math as
a weakness.
52

53. I – Lack of Instinct
Do I try to avoid this particular activity?
Must I force myself to do this activity?
Do I volunteer other people for this activity instead
of myself?
Because talent and instinct are synonymous,
avoiding a particular activity often points to an area
of weakness.
G – Lack of Growth
Is learning about this activity difficult for me?
Do I require extra guidance in order to understand
or master this activity?
53

54. Sure, I learned some math and technology
basics in my years in school, though neither came
naturally to me. (In fact, I find them quite boring.)
Working with numbers or technology for too long
either frustrates me or puts me to sleep. And I'm not
a high performer, either—just another indication of a
weakness. The point is, if there's a lack of growth and
learning—you're not catching on, even with extra
classes and mentoring—this indicates a weakness.
L – Lack of Needs
Do I feel drained by this particular activity?
Do I avoid thinking about this particular activity?
Do I consider this activity unnecessary?
54

55. Over the years I have worked a few odd jobs
and I remember two particular jobs that I absolutely
hated. The first was a position on a ranch. I worked
for a farmer and, one day, he dropped me off all by
myself in the fields to pull potato slips. I had no one
to talk to, no one to do anything with—I just had to
put the potato slips in boxes. Talk about drained! I
cringed at the thought of being on the ranch. The
second was a job I took when I was married with two
kids, looking to make some money to provide for my
family. I became a carpenter's helper and it was
pretty darn funny. I think I worked for the guy no
more than two days before things fell apart. Now, I
can work hard—no problem. But, one particular day,
he asked me to take some measurements for a
project and I looked at him stupidly, like, “How do
you do that?!” I was terrible at it. I didn't like it,
didn't enjoy it, didn't want to learn. Not too long
55

56. after, he said, “Brent, I just don't think you're cut out
to be a carpenter.” He fired me on the spot. It was
the best thing he could do! I didn't need to waste my
time or his—I had identified a weakness. That's not
to say that I haven't learned how to build a few things
between then and now. Believe it or not, I worked
with my wife and father-in-law, who is very
analytical, to build a wood deck and install wood
floors in our house. It is possible to learn how to
buffer your weaknesses, but you cannot turn them
into strengths. So, why waste your time on a
weakness?
DISCOVERY QUESTIONS
º
1. Based on the SIGN acronym, what strengths can
you identify in your life?
56

57. 2. Which strength has earned you the most praise?
3. Where do your impulses lie? Of all your strengths,
which do you enjoy practicing the most?
4. Based on the SIGN acronym, what weaknesses
can you identify in your life?
5. Are there topics or activities that, no matter how
much you learn or practice, you cannot seem to
master?
I Feel Strong When...
1. Find a quiet place, clear your mind, and take a
deep breath.
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58. 2. On a piece of paper, write, “I feel strong when…”
3. Finish the sentence with what immediately comes
to mind. Here are a few of my own examples:
I feel strong when speaking to big crowds.
I feel strong when serving to win a match.
I feel strong when I'm sitting with someone and
talking one-on-one, from the heart.
When I did this exercise, I wrote volumes. Then, I
began to apply my realizations to specific areas of my
life. To better understand your strengths, complete
the sentences:
I feel strong at work when...
I feel strong in my marriage when…
I feel strong in my parenting when...
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59. I feel strong on my team when...
I feel strong spiritually when…
Who is the best judge of your strengths? I'll give you
a hint. It's not your boss. It's not your spouse. It's not
your kids. It's not your parents. It's you. While it is
true that other people have valuable insights on your
strengths, they don't know what's in your mind or
your heart, thus, they aren't privy to all your strength
signals.
4. Now, reverse the exercise and finish the sentence,
“I feel weak when...” Write down whatever comes to
mind—all those different thoughts and ideas that
come to you will help you feel stronger, happier, and
more confident. Then, when you tap into your
strengths you will be more than “jazzed” because you
will be opening your mind to the parts of yourself
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60. you never knew you had. Allow me to give you a few
examples from my own life:
I feel weak when I'm doing math.
I feel weak when I'm in front of a computer.
I feel weak when giving a canned speech.
5. Now finish the sentence, “I loathed it when...” and
remember to write down whatever comes to your
mind. I promise, if you allow yourself to answer
honestly, you will see incredible results. Buckingham
has changed millions of people's lives as a result of
his book, Go Put Your Strengths to Work, where this
exercise originated.
Tennis Lessons
I am a long time tennis player. I started
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61. playing when I was fourteen years old and, thirty
four years later, at the age of forty eight, I'm still
playing. I found out that I had a natural talent for the
sport—a mind and body that excels at tennis—at a
young age. I was quick, I had fat hands, and I was
focused enough to keep my eye on the ball. Plus, I
liked the independence and freedom I felt while
playing tennis and, over the years, I have developed
my tennis knowledge with coaches, camps, and
tournaments. As a result, I became a skillful tennis
player. Within two years of aiming to leap from the
bottom rung of the tennis ladder, I won the Texas
state doubles championship. That was the first
experience in my life where I felt like a winner. It was
a momentous success but it was also the product of
hard work and quite a few losses, all the while
learning and practicing for hours. In the
summertime, I spent nine hours a day hitting balls
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62. on a ball machine while my friends were swimming
and having a good time in the pool next to the tennis
courts. I was there by myself, but I was determined,
and I felt strong. So, I set goals that tennis would pay
my way through college and—it did! (Though, my
mom and dad paid for the coaching lessons and took
me to tournaments, so I credit their support as
having paid for my college education.) Tennis has
been an incredible gift of pleasure and exercise for
thirty four years of my life. I'm on a tennis team, I
still compete in tournaments, and my son and I play
father/son doubles—in fact, we were the #1
father/son doubles team in Texas two years in a row.
What's the point? I feel strong when I'm playing
tennis. And you probably have something in your life
like that. It may not be a sport. It could be music, art,
technology—something that makes you feel strong.
Identifying what makes you feel strong is vital to
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63. your success. On the other hand, I feel very weak
when it comes to technology. I feel literally weak
playing computer games or video games while my
wife is wonderful—she'll tell you that she's the
world's greatest “Words With Friends” player (I'm
sure she'd gladly challenge you to a game any day)
and she challenges me to play all the time. I say,
“Honey, I don't want to play because I don't want to
hurt your feelings when I beat you.” Yeah, right. The
truth is, I don't want to sit in front of the computer
screen playing a video game because it drains me. It's
a weakness—I'm not successful at it. My son used to
beat me all the time when we would play video
games. I would play and he would pound me—every
time! So, of course, you're not likely to walk into my
house and see me with a controller in my hand. I'm
terrible. I suck! We all have something in our lives
that is a weakness. Sure, I could go get lessons, read
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64. books, learn how to try to beat my son. But I don't
want to. So I don't! Simple as that.
Let me tell you something that will set you
free—it's okay. Let it go. Let your weaknesses go.
Turn the best of your life into the most of your life.
That's what discovering your strengths is all about.
Instead of trying to whittle down your weak spots,
strengths-based living is about focusing on your
talents and designing your life accordingly—
structuring your relationships with your kids, your
spouse, your friends, and your extended family
around your strengths and planning your free time
around personally enjoying your strengths, too. It's
the most exciting, meaningful, purposeful thing that
any of us can do—to discover and live in our
strengths zone.
64

65. Chapter 3
Creating Momentum
“Enthusiasm is the energy and force that builds literal
momentum of the human soul and mind.”
Bryant H. McGill
How do we free our strengths and stop our
weaknesses? Marcus Buckingham addresses this in
Go Put Your Strengths to Work and suggests two
acronyms that will quickly help you generate success
and minimize distractions—FREE and STOP.
65

66. F – Focus
Ask yourself these questions about each of your
strengths:
How does this strength help me and others?
When do I use this strength at work?
How often do I use this strength?
What daily activities allow me to use this strength?
Am I using this strength as much as I would like?
Have I received feedback on this strength?
R – Release
Releasing is about freeing a strength in areas
where it is not being used. To release a strength, ask
yourself:
66

67. What new situations can I put myself in to use my
strength more often?
Can I change my work schedule to use my strength
more? (Or, could I talk to a supervisor or my
colleagues to utilize my strength more at work?)
How can I track how much I'm using my strength?
E – Educate
Remember, a strength is an area where you
have the greatest potential to learn and to grow.
Learning new skills and techniques will help you free
your strength. Ask yourself:
Are there certain skills—communication skills,
presentation skills, negotiation skills—that I could
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68. improve through learning?
What kinds of actions should I take to learn more
about my particular strength?
Are there classes or courses I could take to enhance
my knowledge in this area?
Do I know someone with the same strength?
The educate part of the acronym is about
finding opportunities to learn and teach yourself,
building your catalog of techniques for expressing
your strengths. When talking to others with similar
strengths, discuss what they did to educate
themselves, acquire more knowledge, and develop
skills. Speaking with a mentor or coach is a fantastic
way to educate yourself about your particular
strength.
68

69. E – Expand
Expanding is about building your life around
your strengths. I created a success script for myself—
a narrative with names and affirmations for my top
five strengths. I wrote this narrative to help me
accomplish goals in every area of my life. The
question to ask yourself when writing a narrative of
your own is, “How can I expand my life around my
strengths?”
DISCOVERY QUESTIONS
º
1. What new situation can I put myself in—this
week—to release an underused strength?
2. How can I track my strength over the next ten
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70. minutes? The next hour? Day? Week? Month?
3. Do any of my strengths have “weak” points that I
can develop with education?
Stop Your Weaknesses
Many times, people tell me, “I have so many
weaknesses that I can't see my strengths,” and
they're not alone. We all have weaknesses. We're not
perfect. We don't have every tool in the toolbox. So,
how do we deal with our weaknesses? How do we
stop wasting our time on our weak areas? With the
acronym STOP.
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71. S – Stop
Quit doing this activity. Sure, there are some
activities where we have weaknesses that we still
must accomplish. In my case, one weakness I have is
balancing the checkbook. My partner is great at
balancing the checkbook, making it easy to negotiate,
asking her, “Would you be willing to balance the
checkbook?”
The S in STOP is about looking for ways to
stop doing activities associated with your weakness.
At work, you can ask your supervisor about areas in
which you are weak that can be taken out of your job
description. Of course, it's a bit easier when you work
for yourself or run your own business. But, even big
business is turning towards strengths psychology. If
you feel locked into certain activities that are holding
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72. you back, remember—it doesn't hurt to ask.
Or, consider looking for alternative ways to
stop doing a particular activity. For example, I hate
trimming weeds. It zaps me—I loathe starting and
stopping and pulling out the line. So, I stopped it. I
don't work on the weeds anymore. Instead, I've hired
someone else do my lawn maintenance for me every
two weeks. I am going to challenge you to find a
weakness in your life that you are putting pressure
on yourself to focus on and free yourself from it. Stop
spending time on that weakness!
T – Team Up
Ask yourself:
Who could I partner with that has this strength?
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73. Who on my work team would be willing to utilize
their strength to help stop my weakness?
Who could teach me how to deal with my particular
weakness?
O – Offer Up a Strength
In other words, volunteer and steer your life
towards your strengths. Ask yourself:
Which of my strengths could I use to get activities
done more easily?
How can I use my strengths to create a new role for
myself at work or my volunteer organization?
How can I offer up my strengths at home or in my
personal relationships?
73

74. Offering up your strengths will steer you away from
your weaknesses.
P – Perceive
Tackle your weakness with your strengths by
shifting your perspective. I have one particular client
who doesn't have great relationship skills and it is
difficult for him to communicate with his wife.
However, he is a Learner—he loves to educate
himself. So, I challenged him, “How could you use
your Learner strength to acquire more social skills
like empathy—to learn how to relate to your spouse?”
The light bulb went off in his head: “It's about
turning on a strength in an area where I'm weak so I
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75. can learn.” hat about you? How can you shift your
perspective and use your strengths to tackle your
weaknesses? For example, those with the strength of
Harmony love to keep the peace and are always
looking for opportunities to diffuse conflict because
it is difficult and uncomfortable for them. I
encourage those with the Harmony strength to look
for other strengths that can help them cope with
conflict, like the Communication strength. The key is
to perceive your “old” strengths in new ways! I was
doing marriage counseling with a couple and the wife
had the strength of Individualization—the ability to
listen to other people, understand their one-of-a-
kind stories, and adapt the way you relate to them
based on their unique qualities. My client was a
fantastic nurse because of her Individualization
strength, but felt baffled by how she couldn't' seem to
figure out how to relate to her husband. I challenged
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76. her, “How can you use your Individualization
strength to deal with the lack of connection you feel
with your husband?” I could see the light bulbs going
off in her head. Suddenly, she realized that she could
use her ability to relate and get along with extremely
difficult patients in difficult situations with her
husband.
Nine Steps to Strengthen Your
Strengths
1. Write It Down
On a piece of paper, write down your strength
and its order in your top five as well as the basic
definition of the strength from the StrengthFinder
2.0 or your personalized report. Allow me to share
my #4 strength—Command. The definition of
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77. Command is the ability to take charge.
2. Highlight What Resonates
Read the chapter in the StrengthsFinder 2.0
on your strength. Underline or highlight the three
most important phrases that help you connect to this
strength—the three words, phrases, or sentences that
resonate with you. (The parts when you say, “That's
me, that's me! Yes!”) When I read the chapter on
Command, I had a pen in my hand, ready to mark
the phrases I most associated with myself.
Break bottlenecks and create momentum.
Yup. When there's a bottleneck in a relationship or a
tense meeting, I can always help break it. I have the
ability to take charge and create momentum.
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78. Defend the cause in the face of resistance.
I like to take up for the underdog. When someone is
putting others down, I tend to speak up, even if there
is resistance.
Confrontation is the first step to resolution.
I'm not afraid of confrontation—I see it as an
inevitable part of life. And I also know that dealing
with conflict is the first step to finding solutions,
resolution, and connection.
3. Go Back to Your Roots
Ask yourself, “How did I develop my
knowledge and skills related to this strength?” Go
back to your childhood—elementary school, junior
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79. high, high school. What were the experiences in your
life that caused you to develop this strength? How
did you start gaining more knowledge and
information about this strength?
In my own life, I was a natural risk taker from
the day I was born. If there was a rope hanging off a
tree over a lake and my friends dared me to take a
swinging leap, I would do it. I was the daredevil who
would take charge and be the first one to do
something, even if others were afraid to do it. I also
remember playing football in elementary school and
junior high. I was middle linebacker and I was the
person who loved to tackle and hit hard. My
nickname was “Headhunter” because I loved to find
somebody in my way and hit the heck out of them—
that's what football is about. Even on the pee wee
football team, I demonstrated the take
charge/captain strength. And when people in school
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80. were bullied, I was there to defend them, either
verbally or physically. I was willing to stand up to the
bully and say, “This isn't fair, dude. You can't pick on
this guy like this.” I was the defender, which carried
over into my days as a youth pastor and a senior
pastor of two different churches. (Spirituality and
Faith is my first strength on the VIA survey.) I have
always seen myself as a defender of the church.
When people told me, “I don't believe in that” or
“That sounds kind of silly/strange,” I speak up for
God! When going back to your roots, don't forget to
ask this question:
What people have had the greatest impact on my
life? A parent, a teacher, a friend, a coach?
I've traced the Command strength all the way
through my family tree. Lieutenant Presley
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81. O'Bannon, my great great great grandfather, was
called the Valiant Virginian and there's even a book
written about his feats. As captain, he was the first
marine on the shores of Tripoli. He organized a crew
that went to Africa, marched across the desert,
overcame the enemy, freed the slaves and hostages,
and brought everyone back home. He was awarded
the Mameluke sword, deemed the O'Bannon sword.
Sure enough, Command is in my blood. Lieutenant
Presley O'Bannon was a courageous fighter and
defender, who later used his “take charge” strength
to help lead a state. I've got some pretty big shoes to
fill! Now it's your turn. Go back into your life and
start exploring. Look at it as a fun journey of learning
how you developed each of your strengths.
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82. 4. Connect With Others
Ask yourself, “How does this strength help me
and other people?” In my life, the Command strength
helps me to face and resolve conflicts. When I have
conflicts with my wife, my family, my friends, or even
a client or customer, this strength gives me the
ability to resolve conflicts instead of avoiding them,
stuffing them, or letting them turn into resentment.
I'm not a resentful person because I deal with
conflicts upfront. The Command strength also helps
me to ask the questions that no one else is brave
enough to ask. My clients commonly say, “Wow,
that's a great question—I never thought about it like
that.” People with the Command strength can
verbalize a sensitive question, instead of only
thinking about it. Additionally, the Command
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83. strength helps me to speak in front of people. People
with Command have a charismatic, “take charge”
presence. I come alive in front of large groups. That's
the strength of Command. And, in my line of work, it
helps to have a charismatic presence that rallies and
inspires people.
5. Play Devil's Advocate
Ask yourself, “If I were to overuse this
strength, how would it hurt me or the progress of
other people?” It didn't take long for me to realize
that people with the Command strength can
frequently insert their feet in their mouths. I can't
even count the times in my life when I have said
something and my wife—or whoever was in my
presence—has looked at me and said, “Really?!? You
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84. just said that?” They are embarrassed and I am
embarrassed—a great lesson teaching me to be
careful with my tongue. Because of my propensity to
tell it like it is, sometimes I hurt peoples' feelings. If I
overuse my strength, I come across as pushy and
intimidating. And, as a Commander, I often have
daring ideas that, in a group setting, are not always
appreciated. Perhaps, in a one-on-one situation with
more trust and confidentiality, the idea might be
better received. But, I have to be careful in group
settings not to overpower or intimidate other people.
I must humble myself and admit my weaknesses
instead of coming across like God's gift to the
universe. I have my own struggles, my own trials, my
own challenges, just like any other human being.
And this is one of them—tempering my Command
strength so I am not pushy or intimidating.
84

85. 6. Check Your Speed
Envision the speedometer on your car. How
many MPH are you using your strength? 0-40 is
low—you are barely using this strength. 80-120 is
high—you may be using this strength too much.
(That's what gets you pulled over and given a ticket.
Watch out for fines and other problems.) The
optimum speed for using your strength is somewhere
between 40 and 80 miles per hour. Sometimes we
need to speed up our strength and, other times we
need take our foot off the pedal because we're driving
too fast. It's all about balance.
7. Take Action
Figure out the action steps you need to take to
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86. better utilize your strength. Look to your
StrengthsFinder 2.0 report for ten different ideas for
putting your strength into practice. When I took the
assessment, I discovered that one suggested action
for people with the Command strength is to step up
and break bottlenecks. Another of my action items is
to take charge in a crisis when people look to strong
leadership for help—one of my fortes. Another action
item for Commanders is to lead a committee. As I
write this, I am the the president of my local
Business Network International group, and I
facilitate the meeting, which is a gift.
By the way, recognizing strengths doesn't
automatically make you cocky. It produces
confidence—the ability to recognize your strengths
and weaknesses. Confidence is not synonymous with
flaunting your strengths or hurting other people with
them—that is cocky.) The two main ways I have put
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87. my Command strengths into action are:
Dealing with conflict and seizing opportunities to
speak plainly and directly about sensitive subjects
8. Make a Motto
Write a motto, a word, a phrase, that helps
you remember what this strength represents to you. I
have several mottos for the Command strength. I call
it the “Fighting Irish” because I'm an Irishman and
was born on St. Patrick's Day. I also call it
“Braveheart,” “Dynamo,” and “Take Charge.” One of
my favorite passages of scripture from the Bible is
Proverbs 28:1—“the righteous are as bold as a lion.”
To me, this scripture encapsulates the Command
strength. Being bold as a lion
87

88. 9. Affirm It
Create a strength affirmation. My daily
affirmation—the one I have recorded on my iPhone,
despite my dislike for technology—is, “I am breaking
bottlenecks and creating momentum with my
Command strength.” Affirmations help us change the
unconscious aspects of our lives. Our subconscious is
like an iceberg. Eighty five to ninety percent of an
iceberg is below the surface. Only ten to fifteen
percent is above the surface—our conscious self. Our
conscious self can write down goals, focus on
activities, and accomplish objectives—it is the part of
ourselves that we can easily modify or change. The
part that most of don't work on/change is the
unconscious—the dominant part of our thoughts,
feelings, and actions.
88

89. The Six P's of Strengths
Affirmations
Daily affirmations are powerful tools for
changing the subconscious—the part of ourselves
that goes deeper than the surface. When writing your
strengths affirmations, remember the six P's:
Personal — Present Tense — Positive
Precise — Purposeful — Passionate
First, your affirmation needs to be personal.
Start with your name or “I am...” Second, keep your
affirmation in the present tense, instead of using
words like “maybe,” “someday,” or “might happen.”
Your affirmation is already happening. Next, stay
positive and focus on what you want instead of what
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90. you don't want. For example, if you want to stay fit
during the holidays, don't write an affirmation
focused on not gaining those twenty pounds over
Christmas. Stay positive: “I am my ideal weight at
Christmas.”
Along with positivity, you want to be precise.
Keep your affirmation short and sweet. Make it a
quick sentence that is easy to remember while also
keeping it it purposeful. Include an “ing” like “I am
breaking bottlenecks and creating momentum with
my Command strength.” Finally, you want it to be
passionate. Include a word that resonates with you.
For me, those words are momentum, creating, and
breaking. I like breaking bottlenecks.
Break it up. Let's create momentum. Let's go.
Let me tell you about one of my clients, a
90

91. teenager with very little confidence and a big love for
ice skating. Her goal was to skate with Disney on Ice,
so I helped her to create an affirmation: “I am
skating with Disney on Ice.” Every time she said that
affirmation, she worked on shifting her mindset and
making her words a reality. Miraculously, she only
had to say her affirmation for one week before
attending a Disney on Ice program in Dallas and
receiving a personal invitation from the professionals
skaters to get out on the ice and skate with them. As I
write this, she is getting ready to join them—now her
teammates—on tour! After a week of saying her
affirmation! And that's what I'm asking you to do.
For each of your strengths, write an affirmation.
Here are the affirmations I wrote for my top five
strengths:
91

92. Focus
Brent is flowing in strong Focus and is naturally keeping
his eye on living God's purpose.
Individualization
Brent is easily engaging, empathizing, connecting, and
relating to people with his Individualization strength.
Achieving
Brent is Achieving big dreams with outrageous success.
Command
Brent is a highly paid, well respected, in demand speaker
for his Command strength.
Competition
Brent is enjoying his Competition strength, exercising
daily, and doing yoga weekly with wife Rhonda.
92

93. Now try it yourself! Start creating a life of
momentum.
93

94. Chapter 4
Starting Your Journey
“Our inner strengths cannot be lost, destroyed, or taken
away. Each person has an inborn worth and
contribution to the human community.”
Mark Twain
Imagine dog sledding in Canada for the very
first time. You're holding onto the back of your sled
for dear life as you whip around steep curves at
lightning speed. Up ahead of you is a sharp turn and
you notice that your sled is teetering on the edge of
the mountain. You are riding the thin line between
falling off the mountain and creating momentum
94

95. behind your dogs. This was my wife and my
experience when we went to Canmore, Canada a few
years ago. We had a dog sledding adventure—a first
for both of us. (I highly recommend it as a couples or
family experience.) Dog sledding in Canada taught us
so many things about leadership, teamwork, and
strengths. On our trip, we met a young man named
Jereme, who I call “the dog whisperer” because of his
expert knowledge of his dogs and how to
communicate with them. He was our guide and he
took the time to teach my wife and I all about his
team.
Lead Dogs
“Follow me, Brent.” He said commandingly
and Rhonda and I did just that as Jereme led us to
95

96. meet the first two dogs on the team. “These are my
lead dogs,” he explained to us, “Lead dogs are not
necessarily the smartest, and they're not necessarily
the fastest, but they're the best listeners, and they
follow commands well.” Jereme emphasized that it
was important to know your lead dogs so you could
communicate with them frequently. After all, they
are the leaders of their team. The other dogs respect
them and follow them because of their leadership
strength.
Point Dogs
Jereme pointed to the next two dogs directly
behind the lead dogs. “These are the point dogs. The
point dogs are the dogs that don't have quite the
experience they need, but they have skills and the
96

97. talents, and are in line behind the lead dogs. They
help steer the direction of the team towards the lead
dogs.” Basically, point dogs have the abilities, but
they don't quite have the respect of the team just yet.
Eventually, as Jereme told us, the point dogs will
succeed the lead dogs.
Swing Dogs
“It's very interesting,” Jereme said about the
next two dogs. “You take an old dog and a young dog,
pair them together, and you have swing dogs.” The
older dogs have been around the mountains for
many years, trekked endless trails, and accrued their
share of bumps and bruises along the way. Of course,
they have lost a bit of their zest, their energy, their
pep. But then you pair this older dog with a younger
97

98. dog who has loads of enthusiasm, energy, and ability
but lacks experience and wisdom and they influence
and bring out the best in each other so that the team
accomplishes its goal.
Wheel Dogs
“These are the biggest dogs,” Jereme pointed,
“and they're called wheel dogs.” The wheels dogs are
drama-free. Easily the strongest dogs on the team,
they love to pull, they love to work, and they love to
do their job.
The Driver
Then, Jereme took us to the sled. “This where
the driver stands.” He pointed. The driver, we
98

99. learned, is like the CEO, the chief executive officer.
He or she drives the operation from the back of the
sled.
The Four Domains of Leadership
During our dog sledding adventure with
Jereme, I couldn't help but think about the four
domains of leadership, each containing a sampling of
the thirty four strengths as determined by Gallup
Polls. Lead dogs in dog sledding are not so different
from what Gallup calls executing leaders. Point dogs,
like those of us in positions of strategic leadership,
are the thinkers, the heady intellectuals who tend to
strategize and point us towards the future while the
swing dogs fall into influencing domain. These are
the leaders who use their strengths to influence and
99

100. sell. The wheel dogs have relationship strengths.
They are the people adept at winning others over,
relating with others, and showing empathy and love.
THE LEAD DOG
º
Take a look at the dog in the picture. What do you
notice about him? I see the focus in his eyes, the
alertness in the ears, the confidence in his face. This
100

101. dog is all about business. He might even be a little
intimidating. Indeed, the lead dog on my team in
Canada looked pretty ferocious—a good word to
describe executing strengths. Those with executing
strengths catch ideas and make them happen. These
people are strong at getting the job done and less
concerned with pleasing or getting along with people.
Remember, any strength, if overused, can hinder
your success. The nine executing strengths are:
Achiever
Arranger
Belief
Consistency
Deliberative
Focus
Responsibility
Restorative
101

102. The Nine Executing Strengths
Achiever
The Gallup Poll shares that any person who
has the Achiever strength is driven for achievement.
When an Achiever wakes up in the morning, they
start at zero, and it's as if they try to accrue as many
points throughout the day as they can. Achievers are
early risers and night owls. They have a divine
restlessness that pushes them to improve anything
they put their hands on. They like to be busy. They
like to be moving. They like to have projects. Every
day is about climbing a mountain and getting to the
next great peak. (But, Achievers also suffer a whisper
of discontent. They're always on the hunt for the next
big thing.) Achievers have an incredible stamina to
102

103. work hard. This stamina is not limited to work, it
extends to weekends and vacations, as well. Not
surprisingly, Achievers love certifications. They love
to know that they have finished something, achieved
something, and as soon as they finish one thing, they
are onto the next. They love new initiatives. They
love new projects. One thing Achievers must be wary
of is not working so hard that they forget to celebrate
their successes or to balance their personal and
professional lives. Also, Achievers must watch out for
skimping on quality and consistency as they race to
the next project. Achievers want to win. They fuel
success. But they also should take care to apply this
strength to their personal lives, not only their
careers. I have the Achiever strength and, one way in
which I have applied this strength to my personal life
is in my marriage. In my family, literally everyone is
divorced. I grew up dreaming that I would be the
103

104. first person to have a happy, long-term, consummate
marriage. The Achiever strength helps me do that.
Achievers must remember to utilize this strength,
not only in their professional lives, but in
relationships with their spouse and kids, as well as
with their health and personal development.
REVIEWING THE ACHIEVER STRENGTH
º
DRIVEN TO ACHIEVE
DIVINE RESTLESSNESS
STAMINA TO WORK HARDER
LIKES CERTIFICATIONS
INSPIRED BY NEW PROJECTS
FOCUSED ON QUALITY
104

105. Arranger
The Arranger is like the conductor of a
symphony. They can manage and organize all of the
people and variables in a project. They are flexible
and, many times, make great multi-taskers.
Arrangers can look at a complex situation, a complex
problem, or a complex team and arrange it—find the
perfect configuration—which makes them great
leaders. Many NFL coaches have the Arranger
talent—the ability to create a winning team and
coaching staff. If you are looking for someone to
organize and develop a team, an Arranger is just the
person to do it. And Arrangers love big events, too.
They can easily and efficiently organize meetings,
conferences, or, on the personal side, their spouse's
fortieth birthday party. The Arranger will invite
105

106. everyone, cater the meal, and make sure that each
guest has a role in the party. Arrangers have the
unique ability to use all kinds of resources at once.
Arrangers struggle with a difficulty in
communicating why they have chosen a particular
configuration. They work well when they partner
with someone who can help them communicate ideas
and explain decisions. Arrangers thrive with
deadlines—they need them to stay on track. As a
benefit to others, timelines assure that the Arranger
will not become overwhelmed by details. Arrangers
are not big fans of routine—they like the excitement
of complex projects, so they often overlook activities
that are simple or routine. Because this can be a
hindrance, Arrangers should work to balance their
strengths, perhaps with a strength partner.
106

107. REVIEWING THE ARRANGER STRENGTH
º
CONDUCTOR OF A SYMPHONY
MANAGER OF ALL VARIABLES
EFFECTIVE FLEXIBILITY
SEEKING THE PERFECT CONFIGURATION
BIG EVENT ORGANIZER
RESOURCEFUL
BORED WITH ROUTINE
Belief
People who have the strength of Belief possess
strong core values and are often considered
“traditional.” Those with the Belief strength can be
very spiritual or religious, family-oriented, and
typically have a strong sense of ethics and integrity
with characteristics of dependability and
107

108. trustworthiness.
In my coaching experience, people with Belief
tend to come from a spiritual background, and those
principles, ethics, and strategies are woven into their
daily lives. This is not to say that people with the
Belief strength are automatically spiritual. For
example, people with a background in Boy or Girl
Scouts have been taught the importance of integrity
and the traditional values of being on time and
prepared. People with Belief often feel that their
work must be in line with their core values and
beliefs. If you try to put a person with the Belief
strength into a work environment and their core
values do not match that of the company, you have a
disaster waiting to happen. On the other hand,
people with the strength of Belief can help other
people on the team to find more meaning in their
work. Believers are strong at helping others touch
108

109. with their values and the importance of making a
difference in the work world.
People with Belief benefit from having their
own life purpose statement. A purpose statement
helps people with Belief navigate their world and
stay on course—like a compass. A purpose statement
also helps other team members understand their
leader's belief system. It's important to realize that
people with Belief are not typically motivated by
money or prestige—they are motivated by making a
difference in the world. They are motivated by the
core values that steer their lives, whether it is
working with breast cancer, going green, or
participating at their church, temple, or mosque.
However, those with the Belief strength are not
always verbal about their beliefs. This depends on
their other strengths. If they are an Influencer, they
may enjoy sharing and communicating their values.
109

110. However, some Believers are very private and
oftentimes, learning how to communicate and share
one's voice without being judgmental is an important
component of developing this strength. People with
Belief may appear to be rigid or intolerant of other
people who have different belief systems. Thus,
individuals with the Belief strength should watch out
for appearing critical or judgmental of people with
different values.
REVIEWING THE BELIEF STRENGTH
º
STRONG CORE VALUES
FAMILY-ORIENTED
SPIRITUAL/HIGH ETHICS
DEPENDABLE/TRUSTWORTHY
NOT FOCUSED ON PRESTIGE
110

111. Consistency
A person with the strength of Consistency
believes life balance is a must. Beyond that, people
with Consistency treat others equally—they do not
recognize Prima Donnas or the idea that one person
is better than anyone else. Individuals with the
strength of Consistency feel that all people deserve
respect and should play by the same rules, which
means they usually root for the underdog. Those
with Consistency want to ensure that everyone on the
team follows a clear set of guidelines. They want
credit given where it's due. A person with
Consistency is great at recognizing other people's
strengths, celebrating them, and helping build self-
esteem and self-confidence. They thrive at building
team spirit and rallying a group together—an
111

112. important strength to harness at home or in the
workplace. People with Consistency are strong at
leveling the playing field and ensuring that no one
person is treated better than another.
But Consistent individuals must be willing to
temper this strength and understand that there is a
time and a place for individuality. If you overuse
Consistency, you may ignore the needs or differences
of individuals. Leaders with Consistency should keep
in mind that different people's approaches to a
project may vary. Those with Consistency must learn
how to appreciate each person's unique style and
focus on whether the job gets done, not how it is
done. (On the other hand, people with Consistency
excel at ensuring that organizations follow
compliance rules—a task preferred by few.) In a large
family, a matriarch with Consistency may not have a
special, unique relationship with each individual
112

113. because of her group-focused mindset. She focuses
on making sure that all the kids in the nest are fed
and clothed the same—she narrows in on
consistency.
REVIEWING THE CONSISTENCY STRENGTH
º
VALUES BALANCE
TREATS OTHERS WITH EQUITY
EMPHASIZES CLEAR GUIDELINES
ROOTS FOR THE UNDERDOG
ALWAYS GIVES DUE CREDIT
LEVELS THE PLAYING FIELD
STREAMLINES PERFORMANCE
MONITORS INTERNAL AFFAIRS
113

114. Deliberative
Individuals with the Deliberative strength can
appear cautious and careful about decisions and, in
relationships, they may be private and reserved with
their emotions. Deliberative individuals do not often
give praise. Instead, Deliberators are focused on
potential risks, problems, and dangers in
relationships, at work, and in the world. It's the
Deliberator's job to find the mines—they thrive at
decreasing risks that may harm the workplace or
other people. People with the Deliberative strength
are very practical in nature and do not think in terms
of abstracts, but in concrete, practical terms.
Deliberative people are intuitive—their brains pick
up all the small details around them and, based on
this data, they intuitively avoid danger. Because they
114

115. like to think twice about decisions and double check
that people have followed through, Deliberators have
a tendency, if they overuse their strength, to micro-
manage. And, because they are strong decision
makers, Deliberative people may be seen as
naysayers. It's important to keep in mind that
Deliberators are not negative for the sake of being
negative. When a Deliberator perceives danger, they
try to warn the group and encourage others to make
wise decisions. Individuals with the Deliberative
strength help us avoid the mine fields that could
potentially sabotage success and slow us down in
relationships.
115

116. REVIEWING THE DELIBERATIVE STRENGTH
º
CAREFUL/CAUTIOUS
PRIVATE/RESERVED
VIEWS LIFE AS A MINEFIELD
LOOKS TO DECREASE RISK
RIGOROUS THINKER
INTUITIVE
PRACTICAL
Discipline
People with the Discipline strength love
structure and order. Disciplined individuals prefer to
have a plan and they enjoy executing precise
strategies. Individuals with the strength of Discipline
also tend to desire control. Disciplined people
frequently look to control their environment, events
116

117. and activities, and relationships, which can be a
hindrance in their pursuit of success. Part of the
need for order, control, structure, and precision is
because Disciplined people have a great need for
productivity. Their need to maximize production
makes them big fans of “To Do” lists at work and
home. Disciplined people create systems for how
they organize and file things. They are incredibly
efficient. Individuals with the Discipline strength
must be careful not to miss moments of spontaneity.
As counterintuitive as it seems, Disciplined people
benefit from learning how to “structure” spontaneity
into their lives—moments to do nothing, smell the
roses, and simply enjoy life.
Disciplined people struggle with mistakes and
they can be harsh or demanding with themselves and
others, too. My son, a tennis player with the strength
of Discipline, says, “Pain facilitates change.”
117

118. Disciplined people possess the mentality that pain
creates success. Yet, change can be painful for
individuals with the strength of Discipline. Those
with the Discipline strength need advance notice of
adjustments because their lives are so structured,
both personally and professionally. A last minute
change can be difficult and stressful for the
Disciplined person. They feel that, in order to be
successful, they have to follow a routine and make a
habit of order in every aspect of their lives. Order
comes naturally for Disciplined individuals, which
can be a helpful strength in a team member.
REVIEWING THE DISCIPLINE STRENGTH
º
VALUES STRUCTURE AND ORDER
PRECISION PLANNER
FEELS THE NEED FOR CONTROL
118

119. SCHEDULES ENTIRE LIFE
CREATES SYSTEMS
Focus
Focus is my #1 strength. I believe I was born
with Focus and I cultivated this strength when I
started playing tennis. (I've been playing tennis for
thirty four years!) I remember one of the first
phrases I was taught as a tennis player: “Keep your
eye on the ball.” That's exactly what a person with
Focus does—Focused individuals have the ability to
concentrate on their target and ask themselves each
day, “Where am I headed? Where am I going? What
is my priority? What is my goal?”
Focused individuals also have the ability to
filter out extraneous distractions, which is helpful
when they are setting goals for themselves or others.
119

120. It's one of the things I enjoy most as a life and
business coach—helping people set goals, not only
for their careers or businesses, but for their
marriages, their relationships, and their lifestyles.
People with Focus like to review their goals. They
enjoy writing purpose statements. Goal-oriented
people benefit from reviewing their goals daily in
order to finish what they start. For example, Focused
people are usually quite adept at summarizing a
meeting when ten different people have shared their
thoughts. At the end of the meeting, they can quickly
and succinctly wrap up what the meeting was all
about, as well as assessing appropriates timelines or
deadlines.
People with Focus like to prioritize before they
act. And, while they appear to procrastinate, they
tend to do what I call incubating. Incubating means
sorting through different information and letting it
120

121. simmer and cook before acting. And people with
Focus are very skilled at staying on track with their
strengths and helping other people to stay on track,
too. If a person overuses their Focus, which I have
been known to do, they can get tunnel vision. Early
on in my marriage, my wife and I would go to my in-
laws' and while I was reading a book on some topic
that I was focused on learning, they would often
complain, “Brent, you always have your nose in a
book!” I had tunnel vision—I was so focused on my
goal that I had to learn how to focus on my
relationships, my family, and my other priorities.
Balance is important. People with Focus may
emphasize their career goals and forget to pay
attention to their relationships with their kids or
their spouse. Focused individuals must beware of
tunnel vision.
When interacting with a Focused person, keep
121

122. in mind that they may come across as unsentimental
or unemotional because they are so tenacious and
focused on their goals that they forget others'
feelings. This is not because they want to hurt others,
but because the Focus strength makes them zero in
on a different goal.
REVIEWING THE FOCUS STRENGTH
º
INTENSE CONCENTRATION
HELPS OTHERS SET GOALS
PRIORITIZES THEN ACTS
STAYS ON TASK
UNSENTIMENTAL
SUMMARIZES MEETINGS
122

123. Responsibility
2
Janelle is a Realtor, a broker, and one of my
coaching clients. She owns her own company and has
several other Realtors who work for her. Oh, and
Janelle just had an $8 million dollar year! I believe
that Janelle's ability to be so successful in the midst
of a struggling economy comes from her strength of
responsibility—the ability to take psychological
ownership, not only in her work, but in her personal
life. Janelle's inner monologue is, “I need to be the
rock, I need to be dependable, I need to get it done.”
People with Responsibility are very conscientious of
details, whether it's completing complicated
paperwork or noticing body language. Responsible
2 Janelle graciously gave me permission use her story in this book.
123

124. individuals are also highly ethical and committed to
following the rules, not bucking the system.
If a Responsible person drops the ball, forgets
something, or makes a mistake, they will go out of
their way to make it right. The danger in overusing
the Responsibility strength is feeling guilt over not
doing enough. People with the Responsibility
strength are chronic volunteers. They struggle to say
no—they feel compelled to volunteer and be
responsible for the sake of the team or someone
important to them. Thus, people with Responsibility
must learn how to balance “yes” and “no.”
Responsible individuals should gravitate towards
areas where they can apply their other strengths,
instead of saying “yes” to everything. Those with
Responsibility should volunteer in their specialty,
their niche—excelling and becoming an expert, not
watering down their strengths by doing too much for
124

125. too many people. Responsible individuals risk
overloading themselves or feeling burned out if they
are not able to balance “yes” and “no” and allow
other people to take responsibility for their own
mistakes and shortcomings. Research shows that
Responsibility is the first of two strengths that
managers love in their employees. And wouldn't you
love to have a spouse that has the strength of
Responsibility? All the bills get paid on time, all the
details get done. People with the strength of
Responsibility excel in their businesses and
relationships and prove themselves to be
dependable.
125

126. REVIEWING THE RESPONSIBILITY STRENGTH
º
PSYCHOLOGICAL OWNERSHIP
DEPENDABLE
CONSCIENTIOUS
HIGH ETHICS
SEEKS JUSTICE FOR OTHERS
SKILLED MANAGERS
Restorative
People with the Restorative strength love to
solve problems. They love to fix things. Restorers are
energized, not defeated, by problems, and they love
to find something that is broken, like a car, and
restore it to its original, pristine condition.
Restorative individuals can also take a conceptual
problem—a malfunction in a computer or software
126

127. system, for example—and break that problem down
until they find a solution. People with the Restorative
strength also love to fix personal problems. They
gravitate towards situations where they can
restore/bring a person “back to life.” It's important
for the person with the Restorative strength to limit
the problems they fix, choosing the types of problems
they become experts in, rather than trying to solve all
of the world's practical, conceptual, and personal
problems.
An entrepreneur I coached had a marketing
and computer company—Geeks for Rent—and he
loved going to other business owners who had a
marketing or computer program online and finding
ways to fix the problem. He applied this strength in
his relationships, too, listening to his daughter or his
friends and paying attention to their body language,
observing all of the little details in order to offer
127

128. great solutions and feedback. He did it because he
wanted to bring things back to life. That's what the
Restorative strength is all about. I have coached
many people with the Restorative strength and a
great deal of these individuals have experienced
some form of tragedy, trauma, or personal failure in
their life. Restorative people possess a grace and love
for other people—they enjoy helping those who feel
broken and want to nurture, love, and restore that
person “back to life.”
Restorative individuals must remember to use
this strength on themselves, whether it's coping with
a divorce, an addiction, or another type of personal
obstacle. Restorers must be willing to bring
themselves “back to life,” too. People with the
Restorative strength can err on the self-critical side
because they are so hungry for constant self-
improvement and must, therefore, balance this with
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129. self-care. Restorative folks are good team energizers
because they are skilled at encouraging other people
to improve their lives.
REVIEWING THE RESTORATIVE STRENGTH
º
LOVES TO SOLVE PROBLEMS
ENERGIZED BY PROBLEMS
PRACTICAL
CONCEPTUAL
PERSONAL
BRINGS THINGS BACK TO LIFE
KEEN OBSERVER
Remember, life is like a dog sled team—it's
how we harness our strengths that will help us create
129

130. momentum for outrageous success. And that's my
passion for you—to create momentum for outrageous
success, not only in your professional life but in your
personal life, as well.
130

131. Chapter 5
Getting Strategic
“Study strategy over the years and achieve the spirit of
the warrior. Today is victory over yourself of yesterday.”
Miyamoto Musashi
In the previous chapter, I told you about my
dog sledding trip in the beautiful Rocky Mountains
of Canada and how the four pairs of dogs on a dog
sled team coincide with the Gallup Poll's four
domains of leadership:
Lead dogs have executing strengths.
They catch ideas and make them happen.
131

132. Point dogs have strategic strengths.
They have a vision of possibility.
Swing dogs have influencing strengths.
They sell ideas.
Wheel dogs have relationship strengths.
They are the glue of the team.
Point dogs possess a set of strengths that has
to do with vision and possibility—the domain of
strategic thinking.
THE POINT DOG
º
132