Bullying and Cyber Bullying – from the classroom to the chatroom Bullying is a difficult problem that far too many kids, and their parents, face. This has been with us for a long time. Nearly every child knows someone, or knows of someone, who has been bullied. With advances in communications, technology, smartphones and digital cameras, the problem has grown to be 24x7, and follows kids home. With events like Facebook’s anti-bullying campaign and well-publicized teen suicides resulting from bullying on Ask.fm, this issue has been prominent in the mainstream media. Join us for this unique discussion as we look at the psychological and technological issues surrounding modern bullying.

1. Dr. Debra Huntley
Licensed Psychologist
District 196 Parent Fair
Nov. 2, 2013
Barry Caplin, Chief Information Security Officer
Fairview Health Services
http://about.me/barrycaplin, http://securityandcoffee.blogspot.com
Slides at http://www.slideshare.net/bcaplin
Handouts at http://www.bjb.org/stuff/talks/

2. Interactive
• Please… ask questions!
• Please… answer questions!

4. What is Bullying?
Six key elements of bullying:
It is physical, verbal, or psychological attack
or intimidation
The bully is more powerful or perceived to be
more powerful than the victim
The bully intends to cause fear and/or harm
to the victim
The act is unprovoked by the victim
The act is repeated
It produces the desired effect

5. What is Cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying involves harassing, insulting,
physically threatening, socially excluding, and/or
humiliating others using electronic media such
as email, Internet sites, instant Internet
messaging, and cell phone text messages

6. How is Cyberbullying Different
from School-Ground Bullying?
Speed of distribution
Breadth of distribution
Anonymity
24/7 accessibility
Permanence
Attractive to those who lack power, popularity,
confidence, or social status

7. They Said/We Said
Teens:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Online 5 hrs/day
60% check SNS daily,
41% constantly
40.9% females use
Tumblr
29.8% males use 4chan
66% say parents don’t
need to know their
activities
Cyberbullying – 62.1%
witnessed, 23.3% targets
Parents think:
•
•
•
•
•
•
<3 hrs
48%/22%
16%
13%
33% believe teens more
tech-savvy, 23%
overwhelmed
10% believe their teens
targetted

8. Perceptions
Of kids in study:
30% had been bullied; 10% of parents
aware
15% had bullied; 5% of parents aware
*2013 Cornell University study of 465 parent/child pairs

11. Sexting
• Texts/attachments not private
• Currently considered child porn
• Tunkhannock, PA

12. Characteristics of Those Who
Bully
 Age –Typically older than those they bully
 Research shows that 8th graders were the most likely age to engage
in bullying
 For elementary school children, lack of friends (not always true for
adolescents)
 Aggressive, domineering, and hostile toward peers
 Exhibit little anxiety or insecurity
 Bullying has shown to be related to three parent characteristics: (a)
a negative emotional attitude such as lack of warmth and
involvement, (b) permissiveness toward aggressive childhood
behavior, and (c) the use of power-assertive parenting methods
like physical punishment. If bullying involves the abuse of power,
think about where the child first experiences the power differential
and how it is handled – between the child and the parent

13. Characteristics of Those Who
are Bullied
 Age - younger students more at risk for being bullied
 Children between 6 and 11 were most likely to be physically, verbally,
and emotionally bullied (i.e. teasing). However, in cyberbullying,
more likely to be middle school and first year of high school
 Younger students may be more vulnerable because they have fewer
coping mechanisms/less skilled dealing with conflict
 Children with ineffective coping strategies, low self-esteem, less
physical strength, perceived as different from others, less
assertiveness, lack of protective friendships, and lack of popularity
 Quiet, cautious, fearful, sensitive children who may be easily moved
to tears are more likely to be bullied
 Children of parents who are overprotective or sheltering; i.e. the
children are somewhat dependent and lack confidence in their own
abilities. Families are often enmeshed (e.g. lack boundaries)
 Children who are cyberbullied are more likely to spend more time
online and disclose more personal information online than nonvictims

14. Effects of Bullying on Those
Who are Bullied
Thoughts of suicide and acts of suicide
Increased social support has a significant effect on
reducing suicidal ideation
Girls more likely to engage in suicidal ideation
Depression, low self-esteem, and anxiety
Psychosomatic and somatic symptoms; this
relationship seems to be especially true for younger
students
Avoidance/escape behaviors, such as not going to
school, refusing to go certain places, and running
away from home
Problems with academic performance

16. Effects of Bullying on Those
Who Bully
Increased thoughts of suicide for bullies
May be ostracized by peer groups or
become victims of bullying
Bullies are at increased risk of becoming
involved in delinquency, crime, and alcohol
abuse

17. How to Deal with Those Who Bully
 Must take into account severity/seriousness of the behavior. Criteria for
judging the offense might include (1) perceived harmfulness of the
action, (2) perpetrator’s history of bullying others, (3) amenability of the
bully to recognize the injustice of his or her actions and to practice more
prosocial behavior, and (4) the cooperativeness of the bully’s parents
 Clearly identify the offensive behavior without condemning the child
 Avoid personal abuse and instead offer student a chance to “make
things right”
 Have the child learn coping behaviors when faced with conflicts or
negative emotions

Coping behaviors may be cognitive (appraising the situation, generating
other approaches) or emotional (distancing from situation, anger
management)
 Parents should engage in more consistent discipline with a focus on
negotiation and less harsh discipline when resolving family conflict
 REFER TO HANDOUT FOR TIPS ON HOW TO HANDLE CHILDREN
WHO BULLY

18. How to Deal With Those Who are
Bullied
 Better if the victim can solve the problem themselves, if possible; greatly increases self



esteem
If possible, discover why child is being victimized: May be (1) socially unskilled, introverted,
or lacking assertiveness, (2) an emotional state (e.g. anxiety, depression) that interferes with
child’s ability to engage in appropriate social behavior, (3) being personally “different” that
in some way, draws attention from bullies, (4) being a member of a group for whom there is
considerable prejudice; e.g. race or sexual orientation, or (5) acting in a way that provokes
aggression from others
Based on possible reasons, provide access to specialized help OR help child acquire skills to
avoid being bullied (e.g. how to avoid overreacting to teasing or assertiveness training).
Important to also change the behavior of the bullies
Coping behaviors may be cognitive (confronting the situation, seeking social support,
making other plans, telling bully to stop) or emotional (distancing, control of feelings)
 For 5 to 6 year olds, most successful strategies were telling a teacher or having a friend
help. Least successful was fighting back or walking away
 For 12 to 13 year olds, nonchalance was more successful than counteraggression or
helplessness)
Children share more about what is happening to them if parents respond in a stable,
reassuring, and proactive manner and NOT a reactive manner
 REFER TO HANDOUT FOR TIPS ON HOW TO HANDLE CHILDREN WHO ARE
BULLIED

19. How to Deal with Cyberbullying
 Helpful for parents to talk with children about appropriate ways to interact online and the
family guidelines for computer use. Parents and children need to agree about the
circumstances under which the children should notify the parents if they receive negative
messages or view harmful content online
 Parents should not read everything a child posts or views (invasion of privacy, trust issues)
but should let child know ahead of time that they will engage in some monitoring.
However, if there are issues of cyberbullying, parents need to monitor more closely. There
are software tools that monitor a child’s social networking sites and phone texts but they
only alert parents if certain words/terms are used so kids can still work around this
 Teach children to save all bullying messages. If parents can’t tell who sent it, they can
forward it to internet service provider or in extreme cases, contact the police. Remind
children to NOT turn off the computer if they see upsetting content, but instead turn off
the monitor (so they don’t continue to see it) and alert the parents who can go back to it
and respond; parents need to instruct children to NOT respond to offensive content until
they have conferred with an adult
 REFER TO HANDOUT FOR TIPS ON HOW TO HANDLE CYBERBULLYING

20. Prevention
 Teach kids to solve problems without using violence and praise them when
they do.
 Give children positive feedback when they behave well to help their build selfesteem. Help give them the self-confidence to stand up for what they believe
in.
 Ask your children about their day and listen to them talk about school, social
events, their classmates, and any problems they have.
 Take bullying seriously. Many kids are embarrassed to say they have
been bullied. You may only have one chance to step in and help.
 If you see any bullying, stop it right away, even if your child is the one doing
the bullying.
 Encourage your child to help others who need it.
 Don't bully your children or bully others in front of them. Many times kids
who are bullied at home react by bullying other kids. If your children see you
hit, ridicule, or gossip about someone else, they are also more likely to do so
themselves.
 Support bully prevention programs in your child's school.
SEE HANDOUT FOR TIPS ON HOW SCHOOLS CAN DEVELOP
PREVENTION PROGRAMS

21. Other Potential Solutions
Virtual empathy
Anti-bullying programs – do they work?
Facebook and other online campaigns w/ celebs
Pro-Hero!

22. Texting game
Situation/response
Advice:
Be a Friend
Speak Up
Help Him Get Out of the Situation
Tell an Old Person

25. Discussion?
Slides at http://www.slideshare.net/bcaplin
Handouts at http://www.bjb.org/stuff/talks/
about.me/barrycaplin
Securityandcoffee.blogspot.com