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2012 STC Summit
              Professional Development Track




Communication Culture:
 Resolving Conflict and
 Leveraging Feedback


            Ann Grove and Barrie Byron
        Veteran presenters who are passionate
              about lifelong learning and
          experienced in embracing change

                                                1
Barrie Byron
20+ years
– Technical writer,
  happy team member
16 years
– Active STC
  member and leader
11 years
– Active Toastmaster
  member and leader
Lifelong learner
– Minimal conflict
                                  2
Ann Grove
11 years
  – Business owner, technical communication
    consultant
11 years
  – Active STC member
    and leader
Lifelong learner
  – Embracing change

                                              3
Learning objectives
•   Evaluate team culture
•   Understand the four root causes for conflict
•   Know the six methods for resolving conflict
•   Select appropriate method and take specific
    actions to resolve conflict in a mature and
    respectful manner




                                                   4
Agenda
• Chat about us
• Talk about what we’re going
  to achieve
• Interactive workshop
  scenarios
• Questions and Answers



                                5
Negotiation is an ongoing,
    evolving social experiment
“The gem cannot be
polished without
friction, nor man
perfected without
trial.”
~Confucius


                                 6
Get started
• Passion is good; obsession is bad
• Put assumptions aside and listen to all
  parties
• Develop strategies to
  remain focused, caring
  respectful, empathetic
• Avoid blame, accusations
• Avoid “right” and “wrong”
                                            7
Communication Culture
• Learn to adapt your communication style
  for your current team culture
  – High tech versus low tech
  – Direct conversation versus advance agendas
  – Phone versus email, or even instant message
    chats
                “Of all things, communication
                       is the most wonderful.”
                      ~John Dewey, 1939

                                              8
4 root causes for conflict
1.   Personalities
2.   Misunderstandings
3.   Issues
4.   Leadership styles

     “There are two ways of meeting difficulties.
              You alter the difficulties or
           you alter yourself to meet them.”
                      ~Phyllis Bottome
                                                    9
The cause behind the cause
Sometimes the
obvious cause is
actually a symptom

Examples of hidden
causes: power
struggles,
need to take credit
Cause 1

    Contentious personalities
• Dispositions and personalities are complex
  and complicated:
     •   Parenting
     •   Culture
     •   Community
     •   Experiences
     •   Outside influences
     •   Professional history (success, failures, habits)



                                                            11
5 personality types
1. Know-it-all
2. Argumentative
3. People pleaser
4. Narcissist
   ego-maniac
5. Self-loather


                              12
Cause 2


         Misunderstanding
• Miscommunication is primary cause of
  conflict
• Perceptions vary
• Facts, relevant
  information not
  clearly
  communicated


                                         13
Cause 3

                  Issues
• Social atmospheres change when team
  members have different:
  – Opinions
  – Objectives
  – Preferences
  – Communication styles
• Virtual work
  – New challenges

                                        14
Cause 4

            Leadership styles
Preferential responses to the four primary
leadership styles:
  1.   Authoritarian
  2.   Democratic
  3.   Charismatic
  4.   Passive




                                             15
Leverage feedback
• Listen objectively
• Understand
• Act


“Seek first to understand                     Graphic shared by
                                              permission from
                                              Don Moyer
and then to be understood.”
~Steven Covey, in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
                                                             16
6 methods for resolving conflict
1.   Ignore it
2.   Smooth it over
3.   Force
4.   Compromise
5.   Collaborate
6.   Involve a third
     party

                               17
Prepare to negotiate
• Identify and assess your options
• Rough out a game plan
“If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I‘d spend
   six sharpening my axe.”
~Abraham Lincoln




    http://www.raymears.com/Woodlore/Bushcraft_Tips_And_Advice.cfm/11-How-to-Sharpen-an-Axe/
Above all, stay positive
“Enthusiasts are
fighters. They have
fortitude. They have
staying qualities.
Enthusiasm is at the
bottom of all progress!
With it, there is
accomplishment.
Without it, there are only
                             http://www.acceler8or.com/2011/07/optimist-author-mark-stevenson-
alibis.”                     is-trippin%E2%80%99%E2%80%A6-through-the-tech-revolution/



~ Henry Ford
Are you ready?
Investigated the issue
Understand team culture & personalities
Identified root causes, visible & hidden
Identified and assessed options
Have a game plan
Stay positive
Ready to negotiate!
Be ready to use your pause
              button
“You ask a coworker to do something,
and she responds,‘That’s not my job.’
Feeling your blood pressure rise, you
may be tempted to blurt out,‘well, it’s
not my job either, blockhead!’”
~Negotiating for Dummies


Examples:
Sleep on it, go to the restroom, consult with a peer
Body Language
•   Voice control
•   Eye contact: 30 to 60 percent of the time
•   Facial expressions: Smile!
•   Arms and hands open
•   Body tilted toward the speaker
•   Subtly mirror your adversary

• Google: “Forbes How to Win an Argument Without Words”
Know when to move on
• Swim with dolphins
• Be wary of tunas and sharks

~Chellie Campbell, in
The Wealthy Spirit:
Daily Affirmations for
Financial Stress
Reduction




                         http://www.snowmobileforum.com/attachments/lounge/1476d1111450284-dolphin-shark-1.jpg
Scenario 1: Face to Face
       Writer is asking developer to provide
             feedback under deadline



1.   Ignore it
2.   Smooth it over
3.   Force
4.   Compromise
5.   Collaborate
6.   Involve a third
     party

                                               24
Scenario 2: On the Phone
              Writer is asking boss for help
                     setting priorities


1.   Ignore it
2.   Smooth it over
3.   Force
4.   Compromise
5.   Collaborate
6.   Involve a third
     party
Practice negotiating
•   Negotiate in a volunteer position
•   Negotiate with your kids or a spouse
•   Shop for a car
•   Shop for expensive jewelry
•   Negotiate at an antique store
Keep in touch
• Barrie Byron
  –   barriebyron@gmail.com
  –   www.linkedin.com/in/barriebyron
  –   barriebyron.wordpress.com
  –   twitter @barriebyron
• Ann Grove
  –   ann@logicalwriters.com
  –   http://www.linkedin.com/in/anngrove
  –   http://www.logicalwriters.com/
  –   twitter @AnnGrove
                                            27

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Communication Culture: Resolving Conflict and Leveraging Feedback

  • 1. 2012 STC Summit Professional Development Track Communication Culture: Resolving Conflict and Leveraging Feedback Ann Grove and Barrie Byron Veteran presenters who are passionate about lifelong learning and experienced in embracing change 1
  • 2. Barrie Byron 20+ years – Technical writer, happy team member 16 years – Active STC member and leader 11 years – Active Toastmaster member and leader Lifelong learner – Minimal conflict 2
  • 3. Ann Grove 11 years – Business owner, technical communication consultant 11 years – Active STC member and leader Lifelong learner – Embracing change 3
  • 4. Learning objectives • Evaluate team culture • Understand the four root causes for conflict • Know the six methods for resolving conflict • Select appropriate method and take specific actions to resolve conflict in a mature and respectful manner 4
  • 5. Agenda • Chat about us • Talk about what we’re going to achieve • Interactive workshop scenarios • Questions and Answers 5
  • 6. Negotiation is an ongoing, evolving social experiment “The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trial.” ~Confucius 6
  • 7. Get started • Passion is good; obsession is bad • Put assumptions aside and listen to all parties • Develop strategies to remain focused, caring respectful, empathetic • Avoid blame, accusations • Avoid “right” and “wrong” 7
  • 8. Communication Culture • Learn to adapt your communication style for your current team culture – High tech versus low tech – Direct conversation versus advance agendas – Phone versus email, or even instant message chats “Of all things, communication is the most wonderful.” ~John Dewey, 1939 8
  • 9. 4 root causes for conflict 1. Personalities 2. Misunderstandings 3. Issues 4. Leadership styles “There are two ways of meeting difficulties. You alter the difficulties or you alter yourself to meet them.” ~Phyllis Bottome 9
  • 10. The cause behind the cause Sometimes the obvious cause is actually a symptom Examples of hidden causes: power struggles, need to take credit
  • 11. Cause 1 Contentious personalities • Dispositions and personalities are complex and complicated: • Parenting • Culture • Community • Experiences • Outside influences • Professional history (success, failures, habits) 11
  • 12. 5 personality types 1. Know-it-all 2. Argumentative 3. People pleaser 4. Narcissist ego-maniac 5. Self-loather 12
  • 13. Cause 2 Misunderstanding • Miscommunication is primary cause of conflict • Perceptions vary • Facts, relevant information not clearly communicated 13
  • 14. Cause 3 Issues • Social atmospheres change when team members have different: – Opinions – Objectives – Preferences – Communication styles • Virtual work – New challenges 14
  • 15. Cause 4 Leadership styles Preferential responses to the four primary leadership styles: 1. Authoritarian 2. Democratic 3. Charismatic 4. Passive 15
  • 16. Leverage feedback • Listen objectively • Understand • Act “Seek first to understand Graphic shared by permission from Don Moyer and then to be understood.” ~Steven Covey, in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People 16
  • 17. 6 methods for resolving conflict 1. Ignore it 2. Smooth it over 3. Force 4. Compromise 5. Collaborate 6. Involve a third party 17
  • 18. Prepare to negotiate • Identify and assess your options • Rough out a game plan “If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I‘d spend six sharpening my axe.” ~Abraham Lincoln http://www.raymears.com/Woodlore/Bushcraft_Tips_And_Advice.cfm/11-How-to-Sharpen-an-Axe/
  • 19. Above all, stay positive “Enthusiasts are fighters. They have fortitude. They have staying qualities. Enthusiasm is at the bottom of all progress! With it, there is accomplishment. Without it, there are only http://www.acceler8or.com/2011/07/optimist-author-mark-stevenson- alibis.” is-trippin%E2%80%99%E2%80%A6-through-the-tech-revolution/ ~ Henry Ford
  • 20. Are you ready? Investigated the issue Understand team culture & personalities Identified root causes, visible & hidden Identified and assessed options Have a game plan Stay positive Ready to negotiate!
  • 21. Be ready to use your pause button “You ask a coworker to do something, and she responds,‘That’s not my job.’ Feeling your blood pressure rise, you may be tempted to blurt out,‘well, it’s not my job either, blockhead!’” ~Negotiating for Dummies Examples: Sleep on it, go to the restroom, consult with a peer
  • 22. Body Language • Voice control • Eye contact: 30 to 60 percent of the time • Facial expressions: Smile! • Arms and hands open • Body tilted toward the speaker • Subtly mirror your adversary • Google: “Forbes How to Win an Argument Without Words”
  • 23. Know when to move on • Swim with dolphins • Be wary of tunas and sharks ~Chellie Campbell, in The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction http://www.snowmobileforum.com/attachments/lounge/1476d1111450284-dolphin-shark-1.jpg
  • 24. Scenario 1: Face to Face Writer is asking developer to provide feedback under deadline 1. Ignore it 2. Smooth it over 3. Force 4. Compromise 5. Collaborate 6. Involve a third party 24
  • 25. Scenario 2: On the Phone Writer is asking boss for help setting priorities 1. Ignore it 2. Smooth it over 3. Force 4. Compromise 5. Collaborate 6. Involve a third party
  • 26. Practice negotiating • Negotiate in a volunteer position • Negotiate with your kids or a spouse • Shop for a car • Shop for expensive jewelry • Negotiate at an antique store
  • 27. Keep in touch • Barrie Byron – barriebyron@gmail.com – www.linkedin.com/in/barriebyron – barriebyron.wordpress.com – twitter @barriebyron • Ann Grove – ann@logicalwriters.com – http://www.linkedin.com/in/anngrove – http://www.logicalwriters.com/ – twitter @AnnGrove 27