1. Y ou A re
rabl e Men tion
Hono
Kara Gay
2011 el
b
re So
And ard
Aw
2. Es say
What
I
needed
from
others
when
I
was
ill:
Notes
from
someone
who
has
been
there
Please
"Understand":
Understand
what's
going
on
inside
of
my
head
might
be
different
from
what's
inside
of
my
heart.
Understand
that
my
emotions
are
multifaceted
and
complicated;
I
am
on
a
constant
emotional
roller
coaster.
Understand
that
I
worry
not
only
about
my
medical
status
but
also
my
social,
educational,
spiritual
status.
Understand
that
I
see
the
bills
come
in
the
mail
and
hear
the
conversations
about
money;
I
too
worry
about
my
families'
financial
hardships
created
from
medical
bills.
Understand
that
anger
is
going
to
rear
it
head
at
times:
anger
at
God
(why
me),
anger
at
parents
(why
can't
you
make
this
go
away
and
protect
me);
anger
at
friends
(why
are
you
backing
away
from
me);
anger
at
siblings
(why
are
you
still
doing
all
of
the
normal
things
when
I
can't).
Understand
that
I
feel
lonely
at
times
even
when
surrounded
by
others:
parents
who
I
don't
think
can
fully
understand
and
friends
who
come
to
visit
but
do
not
know
what
to
say
and
suddenly
seem
like
strangers.
3. Es say
Understand
that
I
need
unconditional
support
and
love
at
all
times:
when
I
explode
with
anger,
when
I
pout
in
silence,
when
I
am
physically
exhausted,
and,
of
course,
when
I
am
happy
and
optimistic.
Understand
that
I
need
hugs
at
the
right
time
but
given
some
space
at
other
times.
Understand
that
I
do
want
to
talk
but
sometimes
I
just
need
silence
(when
I
am
too
overwhelmed
to
talk
or
think
about
my
cancer
anymore).
Understand
that
cancer
is
an
overwhelming
diagnosis
for
a
teenager;
while
I
have
positively
adapted,
cancer
did
turn
my
life
upside
down.
Understand
that
the
scars
on
both
sides
of
my
neck,
sternum,
and
stomach
do
affect
my
physical
appearance
at
an
age
when
appearance
is
often
given
too
much
priority.
Understand
that
going
to
the
beach
in
a
bikini
is
hard
to
deal
with
at
times
due
to
the
stares
of
strangers
(I
can
tell
people
are
wondering
what
kind
of
surgery
I
must
have
had
or
what
must
be
wrong
with
me).
Understand
how
I
have
grown
to
accept
my
body,
scars
and
all;
I
am
not
the
insecure
girl
who
wanted
to
wear
only
turtle
necks
in
winter
or
high
neck
halters
in
summer.
Understand
that
I
get
tired
of
hearing
my
cancer
enter
into
so
many
conversions
that
my
parents
have
with
others.
Understand
that
I
want
to
decide
my
own
medical
path
and
have
a
say
in
how
often
and
when
I
get
follow-‐up
scans
or
needed
surgery.
4. Understand
that
I
place
my
medical
needs
on
the
highest
level,
but
I
want
to
place
my
current
life
needs
on
a
high
level
(when
I
want
to
delay
surgery
around
a
test
at
school
that
is
really
okay)
Understand
that
I
need
to
challenge
myself
physically
(maybe
to
prove
to
myself
that
I
can
be
normal):
I
do
not
want
you
to
worry
when
I
fly
as
a
high
school
cheerleader
in
a
stunt;
do
a
back
handspring
in
a
tumbling
routine;
decide
to
learn
to
scuba
dive
as
my
senior
project.
Understand
that
I
need
to
experience
the
challenges
of
school
on
my
own
sometimes:
let
me
talk
to
the
teachers
about
my
missed
classes
and
assignments
and
don't
rush
in
to
rescue
me
or
take
over
for
me.
Understand
that
I
still
have
all
of
the
normal
teenager
hormonal
issues
but
even
more
amplified
at
times
by
my
cancer.
Understand
that
I
want
things
to
go
back
the
way
they
used
to
be
(I
know
intellectually
that
this
is
not
possible
while
emotionally
this
continues
to
be
such
a
strong
desire).
Understand
that
I
ache
because
none
of
the
boys
ask
me
out
for
dates
but
instead
ask
my
friends
(it
hurts
that
no
one
really
jumps
to
date
a
girl
with
cancer).
Understand
that
I
hate
hurting
and
not
knowing
why:
(is
it
from
internal
scar
tissue,
from
autonomic
nervous
system
damage
after
surgery,
from
side
effects
from
chemotherapy,
or
from
a
new
tumor?)
Understand
how
hard
it
is
to
have
increased
dependence
on
parents
just
when
I
was
supposed
to
be
getting
more
independence.
Understand
that
my
mind
often
races
into
the
future
with
stress:
How
will
I
keep
my
grades
up
when
missing
so
much
school?
Will
I
still
be
able
to
go
to
college
or
get
into
the
right
college
5. for
me?
Will
anyone
ever
want
to
marry
me?
Will
I
ever
be
able
to
forget
about
cancer
and
just
live
life
like
a
"normal
person"?
Understand
that
I
am
in
this
fight
to
win
over
cancer
but
sometimes
I
need
a
break
from
hearing
the
word
cancer.
Please,
please
"Understand":
Understand
that
I
want
lots
of
time
to
do
things
and
share
moments
that
are
not
cancer
related.
Understand
that
I
so
want
time
to
just
be
a
teenager
(not
a
teen
with
cancer),
just
to
be
a
family
member
(not
the
daughter
or
the
sister
with
cancer),
just
to
be
a
friend
(not
the
friend
with
cancer).
Understand
that
I
am
determined
to
achieve
all
of
my
educational,
career,
and
personal
goals;
I
do
treasure
help
in
staying
focused
and
positive
in
my
journey
to
reach
those
goals.
Understand
that
I
indeed
cherish
prayers,
love,
support,
and
devotion
that
I
receive
from
others.
Understand
that
cancer
is
just
a
disease,
and
it
does
not
define
my
life.
Understand
that
I
am
a
person
who
can
and
will
overcome
the
obstacles
created
by
cancer.
Understand
that
I
have
received
many
gifts
and
blessings
in
life
that
have
come
because
of
the
cancer
not
just
in
spite
of
the
cancer.
Understand
that
I
love
life,
and
I
will
continue
to
love
life,
fight
cancer,
and
win!
Understand
my
whole
self!
Understand
me!
