1. 1
Wider Window
by Raju Mandhyan
Ravi sat by his favorite window, looking out, staring at the branches of a large
tamarind tree. Sitting by the window and hearing the wind whistle through the branches
took away his mind from the pain and bitterness he felt whenever he thought of all the
scolding he’d been receiving from his mother lately. Scolding that oftentimes seemed
unnecessary. Reprimands for the silliest little things; things he never thought would deserve
the ire of anyone, least of all his mother.
His mother was taking a nap as she usually did every afternoon. Didee, his elder
sister, was out running some errands. He was enjoying the quiet and the solitude, balm to
his young aching heart. Their apartment was on the topmost floor of a 3-storey building.
The open windows allowed in the cool and breezy November air. He soon dozed off with his
chin on the windowsill.
“Ravi, Ravi, get up from there, will you!” “Look at you dozing off! Will you ever
learn to do something on your own, or do you always have to be prodded like an animal?
Run down and help your sister up with the groceries!” His mother’s irate yelling rudely
awakened him.
He dashed down the three flights of stairs to meet his sister who was carrying bags
of rice and other groceries. He threw two of the heaviest bags on his shoulder and trudged
up the stairs.
There were tears in his eyes from the sudden, uncalled for insults. His mother
seemed to pick on him all the time; he felt he could not do anything right. But his mother
had not always been that impatient and irritable. Three months ago after a major
operation, she came back looking like a different person – weak, her eyes sunken, her face
gaunt face. But it was not only her looks that had changed; something inside changed too.
Something inside her that screamed all the time. Maybe being stuck in bed gave her no
choice but to run most of the household affairs through her shrill commands.
He dumped the grocery bags on the table and sneaked away to his favorite spot by
the window. Mother, he realized had also been tough on Didee, but not as tough as she was
on him. He was the youngest. And this was his age to play, laugh, and have fun. His friends
played all day long, why couldn’t he?
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2. 2
Many times he’d contemplated on running away from home. He thought, “A child
like me shouldn’t be burdened so much, a child like me should not have so many
restrictions.” More than anything, Ravi felt that a child like him should be treated with love
and kindness.
Lost in thought, he did not notice when Didee slowly walked up & stood behind him.
“What are you thinking about, Ravi?” asked Didee very gently. He’d almost forgotten
her presence behind him. He quickly wiped his face, turned around, and met the eyes of his
elder sister. Had she read his mind? Did she know that he wanted to run away?
“Oh! Nothing, I was just wondering if I should iron my school clothes now or later”
he lied.
“Let me iron them for you.” Didee offered gently.
“No, I’ll do them myself; Mother might get mad at you for babying me”
In the corner of the room he set up the ironing table and brought out his only white
school shirt. He turned the iron on very high, sprinkled his shirt with water, and started
pressing the back when he heard sounds of laughter from the street below. He shuffled over
to the window and saw his friends playing on the tree. They had lined up on a high branch,
taking turns swinging down to the lower branches, and then landing on the ground with a
big “Whoopee!” It was an amusing sight, and Ravi’s heart went out the window. His eyes
were glued to the scene below he smelled something burning. Before he could turn around,
he suddenly felt someone pinching his ear from behind & drawing him back to reality. It was
his mother.
“You have burned your only white shirt! How careless can you be? Now you will have
nothing to wear to school.” His mother glared at him. “Perhaps it’ll be much better if you
stop going to school altogether.”
The pressure on Ravi’s ear was killing him, and he could not think of anything
sensible to utter in his defense. The shirt and its ugly brown triangular hole mocked him and
told him he has done something utterly wrong.
That night, under the sheets, with tears rolling down his eyes, Ravi could not sleep.
He finally made us his mind--tomorrow he will go away forever. He slowly sneaked out of his
bed to pack his best shorts and shirt. From one of the shoeboxes, he pulled out an old
picture of him & Mother. He put the picture in his shirt pocket.
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3. 3
Next morning he dressed up and walked towards the door. From the kitchen he
heard his Mother move about. There was also someone in the bathroom, must be Dad, he
thought. His heart was beating fast as he slowly and soundlessly started down the stairs.
He was halfway down when he heard his sister call “Where are you going, Ravi?”
He froze; his heart almost jumped out of his throat. He looked up, and his eyes met
those of his elder sister. He realized that his sister was surely a mind reader. At that very
instant, he knew that she knew. He stared at her for a long time, open mouthed, scared,
speechless. Her face turned soft, and her eyes seemed to mellow. Tears were welling up in
his eyes, but he blurted out “I’ll, I’ll be back soon!” Then he lunged down the last few steps
and ran out into the street.
Shivering & trying to suppress his tears, he had just cleared the first two blocks of
their neighborhood when he saw a silhouette running towards him. The silhouette advanced
with an awkward gait, moving fast and swaying from left to right.
Ravi slowed down and tried to make out the disjointed figure. It was a boy about his
age whose arms and legs were badly twisted, probably from a childhood polio affliction. The
boy came closer and was running towards something behind Ravi. As the boy came closer,
Ravi saw a face covered with tears, twisted in pain, crying out loud. It was as if someone
had given him a thrashing and he was running away from that someone.
Ravi was shocked, and he stood frozen on the spot.
He pondered how someone could have hurt this person when he already seemed to
be suffering so much. How much pain could the boy have suffered to make him want to run
and cry the way he was doing right now? How could his own pain and sorrow be anything
compared to what the boy was probably going through? The boy was crying & running as if
his life was at stake. And, what a life it must be! Twisted arms & legs, barely covered by
tattered, filthy clothes, a dirty face that must have cried many times before.
Ravi slowly looked at his own self. His clothes were clean; his legs were strong, not
oddly shaped. His arms were healthy and brown. His face, though a bit sore from crying,
felt smooth and nice to the touch of his hands.
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4. 4
He walked to edge of the pavement and sat down. He pulled out the picture of him
and his mother and stared at it for a long time. In the picture, his mother was holding his
hand and smiling down at him with eyes soft and loving. He was looking up at her with
earnestness and with a large smile on his face.
The picture had been taken the same day that he and his mother had been to see
her doctor several months ago. He remembered only parts of the conversation between his
mother and her doctor. The good old Doctor Narayan was describing the after affects of a
major operation to his mother. He was telling her that after such an operation, she may or
may not live. If she lives, she will have to take drugs that can make a person physically and
spiritually weak. A person, he was telling her, also tends to become temperamental and
undergoes sudden and severe mood changes.
Ravi stared at the picture for a long time. Images of the polio-ridden boy running
and crying flashed in his mind. A tender tear rolled down his cheeks and fell upon the
picture. He slowly wiped the picture clean and put it back in his pocket.
When he finally stood up, the sky had turned a bright crispy blue and his
neighborhood seemed to take on a pleasant hue. He turned back towards home with his
head held high & his heart feeling much lighter. As he approached their building, he saw the
tamarind tree, its branches swinging welcoming him home. Under the tree stood his Mother
& Didee.
There seemed to be tears in his mother’s eyes. Didee was smiling and sobbing at the
same time. He ran straight into his mother’s arms, and Didee hugged them both from
behind.
Back at his window that evening, Ravi realized that he had learned something new.
He had learned that the beauty of an open sky must be appreciated from a wider
window, not a narrow one.
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