In this presentation at the 2010 Inform Canada Conference, Behavioral Change Expert Nancy Dranitsaris explains what happens in the brain during stress and how our brain is wired to react based on our Striving Style.

1. Leadership systems that
create powerful companies
A Brain-based Approach to
Understanding Conflict Styles
Inform Canada Conference
September 27, 2010
Facilitated by
Nancy Dranitsaris, BA, RIHR

2. About the Speaker
 Personality & behavioural change
expert with over 20 years’ experience working
with individuals, couples, teams, leaders and
organizations to eliminate dysfunction and maximize
potential
 Consultant, Caliber Leadership
Systems offering an holistic, systems-based
approach to leadership & organizational development
and behavioural change
 Practitioner & Trainer, Striving
Styles® Personality System, a neuro-
psychological framework for development & behavioural
change
 Leadership Coach helping leaders &
entrepreneurs achieve their potential

3. About the Session
 Just when you are having a great day, someone
calls and presses that “button” that changes
everything.
 Why does this happen and what can you do to
prevent and manage your responses?
 Knowing what your buttons are and in what
situations they are most likely to happen helps you
to recognize how you behave when they get
pressed, so that you can shift your behavior back.
 Knowing your Striving Style can help you
understand the self-protective behaviors that are
ignited when dealing with difficult calls.

4. Why We Call Them “Difficult Clients”
 Tendency to blame others when they press our
buttons
 We say we are getting our “buttons” pressed
because we are taking things personally
 Training is focused on sorting people into groups
that we can then deal with them in a specific way.
i.e. Bulldozer, Sniper, Know-it-all
 Don’t always look to ourselves to understand our
own reactions – to be self-aware
 Need to look at the mechanics of what is happening
in us that causes us to change our behavior

5. What is Self Awareness?
 The ability to perceive and understand our own
emotions and the behavior that flows predictably
from them
 The awareness of the self as separate from the
thoughts that are occurring at any point in time –
observing self
 Self-awareness gives one the option or choice to
choose thoughts and respond to the situation
rather than simply thinking the thoughts that are
stimulated from events and reacting emotionally

6. It is Normal to React
 Some people’s behavior elicits emotional reactions
 Can shift us from objective responses to emotional
reactions
 Understanding how this works and behaviors
associated with emotional reactions can help us
stay neutral
 To do this, we need to understand how the brain
“downshifts” when we have our buttons pressed
 Make choices to respond differently

7. What “Button” Get’s Pressed?
 There is an actual “button” that gets pressed in our
emotional brain. It is called the amygdala
 This causes us to shift from self-actualizing to self-
protective behavior
 Our reaction is no longer logical, it is emotional
 We are less able to deal with the client skillfully

8. NEOCORTEX
The ‘Thinking’ Brain
Left Right
Words Creativity
Patterns
Sequences Imagination
Analysis Whole picture
LIMBIC BRAIN
The ‘Feeling’ Brain
1. Five senses
2. Emotional
Memory
3. Context
REPTILIAN BRAIN
The ‘Survival’ Brain
• Basic body systems
• Desire to avoid harm
Our Triune Brain

9. The Amygdala – Our Danger Detector
Self-Protective behavior is initiated in the
emotional brain when the Amygdala is
activated
It has a critical ‘gate
keeping’ role
determining ‘friend
or foe’
It assesses for
‘emotional salience’
- the ‘danger
detector’ – triggers
the stress and ‘fight
or flight’ responses

10. Self-Actualizing vs. Self-Protective
 During conflict or stress, the amygdala is used to
guide how we react more than the rational brain
 Easier to react as it takes less immediate effort on
our brain’s part
 Surviving is instinctive, automatic and based on the
perception of threat
 We are more reactive when tired, sick or when our
buttons are pushed
 Our brain “downshifts” from our Self-Actualizing
System to our Self-Protective System

11. Switching to Our Self-Protective System
 When downshifting,When downshifting,
full usefull use
of the rational brainof the rational brain
is suspended andis suspended and
more control is givenmore control is given
toto
our lowerour lower
brainsbrains
 We react usingWe react using
emotional reasoning,emotional reasoning,
protecting ourselvesprotecting ourselves
from perceivedfrom perceived
threatsthreats

12. Are We Really Being Attacked?
 We protect ourselves when weWe protect ourselves when we
feelfeel we are under attackwe are under attack
 It is normal and natural for us toIt is normal and natural for us to
become defensive when thebecome defensive when the
attack is realattack is real
 However, there are times whenHowever, there are times when
we are defensive when there iswe are defensive when there is
no direct attackno direct attack
 We are defensive because weWe are defensive because we
feel attacked and respond asfeel attacked and respond as
though it is realthough it is real

13. Personality Dictates Style
 Not everyone behaves the same when they are
feeling threatened
 How we react is largely based on our Personality or
Striving Style
 When handling difficult calls, the other person
inadvertently frustrates our predominant need
 Although we may be using all of our skills, once we
downshift, we adopt the self-protective behaviors
of our Striving Style
 These behaviors are predictable and easily
recognized

14. What are Striving Styles?
 Striving Styles™ are personality styles that
determine our behavior
 Organized around getting a predominant need met
 Eight distinct striving styles
 Physiological, hard-wired in the brain
 Are most likely to be happiest, healthiest and able
to achieve our potential when meeting our need
 Most likely to shift to self-protective behaviors
when that need is frustrated

15. Self-Protective Behaviors
 Each Striving Style has a group of self-protective
behaviors that gets activated when their button is
pressed
 Based on two scales
 Assertiveness – How much energy is going into
asserting their position, ideas, emotions
 Responsiveness – How much energy is going
into responding to the other persons position,
ideas, emotions
 Four distinct response patterns

16. AVOID
(Visionary, Intellectual)
ACQUIESCER
(Artist, Socializer)
AUTOCRAT
(Leader, Stabilizer)
ATTACKER
(Performer, Adventurer)
EMOTE
ASK TELL
CONTROL
Low HighAssertiveness
High
Responsiveness
Low
Striving Styles
- Self-Protective Behavior

17. Driving Style – Autocrat
High Assertive, Low Responsive
LEADER STYLELEADER STYLE
Need to be in ControlNeed to be in Control
STABILIZER STYLESTABILIZER STYLE
Need to be SecureNeed to be Secure
 When these people can’t getWhen these people can’t get
their need met they:their need met they:
 Try to get back in controlTry to get back in control
with facts, logic, andwith facts, logic, and
reasonreason
 Repeat the same thingRepeat the same thing
over and over againover and over again
 Become aggressive,Become aggressive,
autocraticautocratic
 Take an opposing positionTake an opposing position
 Unable to hear the otherUnable to hear the other
personperson

18. Avoidance Style – Analytical
Low Assertive, Low Responsive
VISIONARY STYLEVISIONARY STYLE
Need to be PerceptiveNeed to be Perceptive
INTELLECTUAL STYLEINTELLECTUAL STYLE
Need to be KnowledgeableNeed to be Knowledgeable
 When these people can’t getWhen these people can’t get
their need met they:their need met they:
 Become more impersonalBecome more impersonal
and objectiveand objective
 Withdraw and try to getWithdraw and try to get
awayaway
 Take a position ofTake a position of
intellectual superiorityintellectual superiority
 Passive aggressivePassive aggressive
behavior – say they will dobehavior – say they will do
something then don’tsomething then don’t
 Change the subjectChange the subject

19. Amiable Style – Acquiescer
Low Assertive, High Responsive
SOCIALIZER STYLESOCIALIZER STYLE
Need to be ConnectedNeed to be Connected
ARTIST STYLEARTIST STYLE
Need to be CreativeNeed to be Creative
 When these people can’t getWhen these people can’t get
their need met they:their need met they:
 Take others behaviorTake others behavior
personallypersonally
 Make value judgments –Make value judgments –
feel the person is rude,feel the person is rude,
ungrateful, etc.ungrateful, etc.
 Feel victimized, martyred,Feel victimized, martyred,
use guilt or shameuse guilt or shame
 Try harder to help despiteTry harder to help despite
how they feelhow they feel
 Withhold helpWithhold help

20. Expressive Style – Attacker
High Assertive, High Responsive
PERFORMER STYLEPERFORMER STYLE
Need to be RecognizedNeed to be Recognized
ADVENTURER STYLEADVENTURER STYLE
Need to be SpontaneousNeed to be Spontaneous
 When these people can’t getWhen these people can’t get
their need met they:their need met they:
 Overpromise and notOverpromise and not
deliverdeliver
 Become argumentativeBecome argumentative
 Express both emotions andExpress both emotions and
opinions without regard foropinions without regard for
impact on othersimpact on others
 Try to manipulateTry to manipulate
emotions of othersemotions of others
 Talk more, listen lessTalk more, listen less

21. Building Self-Awareness
 Self-Protective behaviour as opposed to Self-Self-Protective behaviour as opposed to Self-
Actualizing behaviour indicates that your buttonActualizing behaviour indicates that your button
has been pressedhas been pressed
 Our challenge is:Our challenge is:
 to know when we are in our Self-Protective Styleto know when we are in our Self-Protective Style
 to know when others are in theirs and not reactto know when others are in theirs and not react
to itto it
 to accept it as normal and naturalto accept it as normal and natural
 to keep from making it habitualto keep from making it habitual
 to work to minimize itto work to minimize it
 to keep from triggering this behaviorto keep from triggering this behavior
in othersin others

22. Self-Actualizing Tips
 Practice of Mindfulness – Developing an observing
self
 Personality Assessment – Striving Styles™
 Get feedback from others – friends, peers, loved
ones
 Learn to accept what you do and do not have
control over
 Learn techniques for de-personalization
 Develop awareness of what triggers you to
“downshift” – words, tones, etc. Learn to recognize
when its happening so you can bring yourself out of
it

23. Our Approach
 Striving Styles Personality System is a neuro-
psychological framework for development,
behavioural change and achieving potential
 Can be integrated into any development program
 Audit existing programs to ensure design & delivery
reflect personality, emotions and how the brain learns
 Facilitate organizational change, eliminate dysfunction
and disengagement
 Build expertise of anyone involved in training,
development & behavioural change by becoming a
Practitioner
Evo lutio n o f Jung’ s Psycho logicalType & the MBTI®

24. Leadership systems that
create powerful companies
Contact us
We offer a range of services – organizational, leadership &
team development, succession, performance & rewards,
cultural change & coaching
We offer a Practitioner Program for anyone interested in
using the SSPS in their L&D programs.
www.CaliberLeadership.com
416.406.3939
ndranitsaris@caliberleadership.com