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I think this is hilarious ! I
NEVER HEARD CREATION
  EXPLAINED THIS WAY
         BEFORE !!!
In the beginning, God created the
Heavens and the Earth and populated
 the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower
 and spinach, green and yellow, and
red vegetables of all kinds, so Man
  and Woman would live long and
              healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan
 created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream
   and Krispy Creme Donuts. And
Satan said, "You want chocolate with
  that ?" And Man said, "Yes !" and
Woman said, "and as long as you're
at it, add some sprinkles." And they
gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt
 that Woman might keep the figure
 that Man found so fair. And Satan
  brought forth white flour from the
 wheat, and sugar from the cane and
 combined them. And Woman went
        from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh
   green salad." And Satan
   presented Thousand-Island
Dressing, buttery croutons and
    garlic toast on the side.
    And Man and Woman
unfastened their belts following
           the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you
heart healthy vegetables and olive oil
in which to cook them." And Satan
  brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken-fried steak so big it needed
  its own platter. And Man gained
more weight and his cholesterol went
 through the roof. God then created
 a light, fluffy white cake, named it
 "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is
good." Satan then created chocolate
          cake and named it
            "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes
 so that His children might lose those
  extra pounds. And Satan gave cable
   TV with a remote control so Man
  would not have to toil changing the
    channels. And Man and Woman
laughed and cried before the flickering
      blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the
 potato, naturally low in fat and
  brimming with nutrition. And
Satan peeled off the healthful skin
           and sliced the
  starchy center into chips and
deep-fried them. And Man gained
              pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man
might consume fewer calories and still
satisfy his appetite. And Satan created
  McDonald's and its 99-cent double
 cheeseburger. Then said, "You want
  fries with that ?" And Man replied,
  "Yes ! And super size them !" And
  Satan said, "It is good." And Man
         went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created
quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created private
  medical insurance !!!
If you don't send this to five
 old friends right away there
   will be five fewer people
     laughing in the world

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Creation

  • 1. I think this is hilarious ! I NEVER HEARD CREATION EXPLAINED THIS WAY BEFORE !!!
  • 2. In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow, and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
  • 3. Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that ?" And Man said, "Yes !" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
  • 4. And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
  • 5. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
  • 6. God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
  • 7. God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
  • 8. Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
  • 9. God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that ?" And Man replied, "Yes ! And super size them !" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
  • 10. God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
  • 11. Then Satan created private medical insurance !!!
  • 12. If you don't send this to five old friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world