1. Suffers from self-delusion in regard to their use of chemicals
and builds up a wall of defenses to protect themselves from
the painful consequences of their behavior. They develop a
unique system to protect the painful storehouse of
repressed feelings. They are the center of the problem.
fear
WALL OF DEFENSES
FEELINGSanger
charm
rigidity
perfectionism
shame hurt
spiritually bankrupt
guilt
pain
The Wall of Defenses covers up true feelings

2. Often the spouse or parent of the chemically dependent
person. As the illness grows, so does the involvement with
the enabler. The enabler must therefore develop survival
defenses. As the dependent person loses control, the chief
enabler makes more choices to compensate for the
dependent persons’s lack of power. THE ROLE OF THE CHIEF
ENABLER IS TO PROVIDE RESPONSIBILITY.
WALL OF DEFENSES
FEELINGS
nagging
superresponsibility
controlling
self-pity
anger hurt
guilt
pain
fear

3. The one who is in the family public eye. The scapegoat has
already learned that one is rewarded for how one performs
rather than who he/she is. This person doesn’t want to work as
hard as the hero just to prove himself worthy, so decides to
pull away from the family and look for good feelings of
belonging elsewhere. Because of the repressed anger, the
scapegoat often gets much attention for the destructive ways
in which the withdrawal takes place. THE ROLE OF THE
SCAPEGOAT IS TO PROVIDE DISTRACTION AND FOCUS TO THE
FAMILY.
WALL OF DEFENSES
FEELINGS
developsstrong
peervalues
defiance
withdrawn uses drugs
anger hurt
loneliness
guilt
rejection
challenging
fear

4. The person who can see & hear more of what is really
happening in the family & begins to feel responsible for the
family pain. They try hard to make things better for the
family & is always losing ground because of the progressive
nature of the illness. They constantly feel inadequate but
hides this inadequacy behind their obvious successes. THE
ROLE OF THE HERO IS TO PROVIDE SELF-WORTH TO THE
FAMILY.
WALL OF DEFENSES
FEELINGS
successful
special
high achiever all together
does
what’s
right
confusion hurt
loneliness
inadequacy
anger

5. The family member who brings a little fun into the family.
No one takes the mascot too seriously because it’s believed
there would be a limited understanding of anything too
serious. Mascots are often cute, fun to be around, & able
to use charm & humor to survive in this very painful family
system. THE ROLE OF THE MASCOT IS TO PROVIDE FUN &
HUMOR.
WALL OF DEFENSES
fragility
anything to attract
attention
super cute
clowningloneliness
hurt
confusion
insecurity
humor fear
FEELINGS

6. The one who has learned not to make close connections in
the family. This person spends much time being alone or
quietly busy. The safest role and likely not to cause trouble
is to get lost. Most people don’t notice the lost children
very often as they are not usually given much attention,
either positive or negative. They are just there. They suffer
pain and loneliness. This is the one child the family doesn’t
have to worry about. THE ROLE OF THE LOST CHILD IS TO
OFFER RELIEF.
WALL OF DEFENSES
FEELINGS
withdrawn quietness
hurt
loneliness
inadequacy
anger