1. R U friends 4 real? changed some of the ways kids can be
Psychologists are learning more about friends with each other."
how teen friendships are changed by
social networking and text messaging. Other psychologists, however, say today's
ways of communicating can change the
By Amy Novotney message, and wonder what effect that has
APA February 2012, Vol 43, No. 2 on adolescent friendships, and even teens'
Print version: page 62 social development. For example, instead
of learning how to handle the give and take
of conversation—one of our most basic
human attributes and a connection we all
crave—teens instead are crafting and often
constantly editing witty text responses, says
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
social psychologist Sherry Turkle, PhD.
"We're losing our sense of the human voice
and what it means—the inflections,
As the parents of most teenagers know, hesitations and the proof that someone isn't
today's two-hour telephone calls with just giving you stock answers," says Turkle,
friends are often now conducted via whose book "Alone Together" (2011) is
marathon text messaging or Facebook based on 15 years of research and
sessions. And that cultural shift has observation of children and adult
psychologists asking lots of questions: interactions with technology. "That's a
What happens to adolescent friendships radical thing to do to our relationships."
when so much interpersonal
communication is via text? Or when fights Outcasts reaching out
between best friends explode via Facebook
One of social networking's greatest benefits
for all to see? And can "OMG—ROTFL"
is its ability to bring meaningful friendships
("Oh my God! I'm rolling on the floor
to people who might otherwise be shunned
laughing!") via text really convey the same
as outcasts. As research has shown, being
amusement as hearing the giggles of a best
friendless in high school can have lifelong
friend?
consequences on a person's cognitive,
social and moral development. In one
So far, the answers to those questions are
study, published in School Psychology
mixed. Margarita Azmitia, PhD, a
Review, educational psychologist Beth Doll,
psychology professor at the University of
PhD, of the University of Nebraska–Lincoln,
California, Santa Cruz, who studies
found that friendless adolescents are more
adolescent friendships, is among those who
likely to be unemployed, aggressive or have
contend that these technologies have only
poor mental health as adults.
changed some of the ways teens interact.
Today's youth still count the friends they
But thanks to text messaging and the
see and talk to every day among their
Internet, socially anxious teens who might
closest, she says.
have been left out now have a voice. In a
2010 study with 626 children and teens,
"The [qualities] teens value in friendships,
researchers at the Queensland University
like loyalty and trust, remain the same,"
of Technology in Australia found that lonely
Azmitia says. "Technology has just
adolescents reported using the Internet to
2. make new friends, and that they socially engaged over time. Students who
communicated online significantly more spent more time seeking out information
frequently about personal and intimate and participating in political and civic
topics than those who did not report discussions in online communities, for
loneliness. These teens also indicated that example, reported higher levels of
they communicated online more frequently volunteerism, including raising money for
because they did not feel as shy, were able charity, working on a local political
to talk more comfortably and dared to say campaign and increased voting
more (Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and participation, even after controlling for their
Social Networking, 2010). level of political interest and involvement.
The three-year as-yet-unpublished study of
Further, in a 2010 study in Computers in 2,500 teens was led by Joseph Kahne,
Human Behavior, Malinda Desjarlais, PhD, PhD, an education professor at Mills
a psychology professor at the University of College.
Northern British Columbia, found that
socially anxious teen boys who played Lyn Mikel Brown, EdD, has seen first-hand
computer games with friends reported the positive effects of the Internet on teen
better friendships than their socially anxious relationships and civic engagement in her
peers who used the computer by job as director of Hardy Girls Healthy
themselves. Online games, Desjarlais says, Women, a nonprofit girls' advocacy
typically allow players to speak to each organization based in Waterville, Maine. In
other via the computer—and the one national media literacy program titled
opportunity to communicate without making Powered by Girls and sponsored by Hardy
eye contact may put socially anxious boys Girls, teenage girls throughout the United
at ease. States connect online via the social
networking site Ning to discuss pop
The Internet's capacity for social connection culture's positive and negative media
doesn't only benefit shy and lonely teens. In representations of girls and women and
a study of 63 Cornell University create their own e-zine to raise awareness
undergraduates, researchers found that of these issues.
people reported higher self-esteem after
spending time on their Facebook profile "It's easy to say that the Internet is bad and
than after time spent looking into a mirror filled with porn, and that's the stuff that
(Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social makes the news," says Brown, professor of
Networking, 2011). education at Colby College. "What doesn't
make the news is the degree to which girls
"Unlike a mirror, which reminds us of who are blogging and building coalitions around
we really are and may have a negative social and political projects. No, they may
effect on self-esteem if that image does not not be intimate, long-term relationships, but
match with our ideal, Facebook can show a they impact girls' sense of self in really
positive version of ourselves," says Cornell positive ways because they connect with
communications professor Jeffrey Hancock, people who really get them."
PhD, one of the study's co-authors. "We're
not saying that it's a deceptive version of A crisis of connection?
self, but it's a positive one." But while the Internet may give teens a
forum, it may also rob them of the richness
New research also suggests that youth who of real-life friendships. Time spent online,
use blogs, websites and email to discuss
politics and current events become more
3. after all, is time not spent with friends and "Online social networks are a great
could lessen the social support teens feel. example of the type of public venue where
people play up the positive and hide the
For example, a 2010 study with 99 negative, which can lead to the sense that
undergraduates led by Holly Schiffrin, PhD, one is alone in one's own struggles,"
a psychology professor at the University of Jordan says.
Mary Washington, found that those who
spent more time on the Internet reported These findings also suggest that even
decreased well-being. Most of the students though we all know we hide our own sad or
also reported that the Internet was less lonely feelings from others, we don't realize
useful than face-to-face communication for how often others are doing the same.
building relationships and increasing "This anxiety around always ‘performing' for
emotional closeness with others others via social networking sites may lead
(Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social to teenagers whose identities are shaped
Networking, 2010). not by self-exploration and time alone to
process their thoughts, but by how they are
"I definitely think that technology can be perceived by the online collective," Turkle
used to build and maintain in-person says.
relations, but it's not a satisfactory
substitute for in-person relationships," What remains to be seen is how well
Schiffrin says. adolescent friendships managed via
Facebook and text message affect teen
The Internet—and particularly online social development, and ultimately, how today's
networking websites—may also exacerbate teens will develop relationships in
the problems identified in a 2011 study adulthood, says New York University
inPersonality and Psychology Bulletin. It developmental psychologist Niobe Way,
found that people think their peers are PhD, who has been studying friendships
happier than they really are, and this among teenagers for more than two
distortion of reality makes people lonely and decades. In a 2009 study in Child
dissatisfied with life. In the study, Development, Way and colleagues found
Dartmouth College business professor that, among both American and Chinese
Alexander Jordan, PhD (a student in middle-school students, the emotional
Stanford's graduate psychology department support they got from close friends boosted
at the time) asked 80 college freshmen their self-esteem and grade point averages
about how often they thought other more than support from their parents. Way,
students had negative experiences, such as author of "Deep Secrets: Boys' Friendships
getting dumped, receiving a bad grade or and the Crisis of Connection" (2011), has
feeling overloaded with work. also found that teenage boys who feel
supported by and intimate with their friends
Students were also asked to estimate how are more likely to be academically engaged
often their peers had positive experiences, and do their homework than teens who
such as going out with friends or acing report low support. Yet as social networking
tests. drives teens to decrease their face-to-face
time with friends, how much intimacy do
Overall, the researchers found that students they really share?
underestimated their peers' negative
feelings (by 17 percent) and overestimated "We know from the developmental literature
their positive emotions (by 6 percent). that empathy and intimacy are fostered by
looking at people's faces and reading
4. people's emotions and spending time
together physically," Way says, but it
remains to be seen whether that can really
be accomplished online. "We also know
from the sociological literature that
Americans are becoming less empathic and
more emotionally disconnected from each
other. We are facing a crisis of connection
that most assuredly is not effectively
addressed by less face-to-face contact."
Online friends can also make it less likely
for young adults to create new adult
friendships—a move that Way says may
even put psychological and physical health
in jeopardy.
"It's evident in the research that building
real connections can help us thrive in life,"
Way says. "Friendships are a core part of
that, and we just don't take them seriously
enough."