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Helping Devotees Succeed

  Spiritual Guidance System
Welcome!
A Spiritual Guide
Your spiritual success partner who:
 Thinks of you, listens to you and speaks to

  you kindly in all circumstances
 Works alongside you with strong faith in

  you and your potential
 Assists you in making lasting positive

  changes in your life
 Supports you and encourages your

  spiritual and professional growth
A Spiritual Guide
   Encourages your service, recognises your
    natural gifts and talents, so that you can
    use them as a basis for your spiritual
    growth and material support
   Works with you and for you, not on you
   Keeps strictly confidential any information
    about you
   Believes in your inherent potential to be a
    pure devotee of the Lord.
The Seven Purposes of ISKCON
3.   To bring the members of the Society together
     with each other and nearer to Krishna, the prime
     entity, thus developing the idea within the
     members, and humanity at large, that each soul
     is part and parcel of the quality of Godhead
     (Krishna).

6.   To bring the members closer together for the
     purpose of teaching a simpler, more natural way
     of life.
   Be under the guidance of your elder
    brother Janardana and you will
    progress nicely.

     Letter to Sivananda - Los Angeles 21
    January, 1968
   … please act under the guidance of
    Brahmananda, so long I am not able to
    see you …

    Letter to Robert - Los Angeles 20 February, 1968
   I am pleased to note that Girish is
    progressing nicely under your guidance.

    Letter to Aniruddha - Los Angeles 23 January, 1969
   People are going to hell for want of
    proper guidance.

    Letter to Harer Nama - Los Angeles 15 January, 1970
   One who gives personal instruction to each and
    everyone does more for others than the platform
    speakers do. Generally, whatever platform
    speakers say cannot solve the problem of everyone
    in the audience, nor can it always benefit every
    individual. A person's defects are better rectified in
    a private tutorial class or private coaching than in
    hearing lectures in a school or college. Therefore
    those who instruct particular persons separately
    can award them something more permanent.

    - Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati, Amrta Vani, page 315
A Need!
   There is a clear need for more
    systematic and effective support and
    guidance of devotees - based on talking
    to hundreds of serious devotees serving
    in ISKCON.
Return On Investment
   People who are taken care of well and
    are guided well will tend to do the same
    with others in return

   This will expand our mission and grow
    our movement.
Holistic Or Complete Care
   Health
   Sadhana
   Service
   Relationships
   Etc.
This is organization
That is the way of Indian teaching, that there is one
teacher, and how he's managing hundreds? That means
there are groups. One who is elderly student, he's taking
some beginners: "Write a or A like this." That he can teach.
What he has learned, he can teach. Similarly, next group,
next group.

So in this way, one teacher can manage hundreds of
students of different categories. This is organization. Not
that everything I have to do. I cannot teach anybody to do
it. That is not intelligence.


Room Conversation -- July 31, 1976, New Mayapur (French farm)
This is organization
Intelligence is that employ others to help you. That is
 intelligence. Not that "Oh, I was busy, I could not do it."
 Why? What about your assistant? Train assistant so that
 in your absence things can be done. So the elderly
 students, they could be...

Just Caitanya Mahaprabhu used to do that. When He
was sixteen years old he could argue with Kesava
Kasmiri, because He was practiced. In this way, stage
after stage, everyone should be expert. Everyone should
be teacher and student.

Room Conversation -- July 31, 1976, New Mayapur (French farm)
Purpose

   Educate and train devotees to live
    according to the Krishna conscious
    principles of their asrama.

   Provide systematic training in Krishna
    conscious philosophy, sadhana,
    Vaisnava behaviour, lifestyle and
    attitudes.
Purpose

   Provide a formal framework within
    which personal care and attention can
    be provided to all devotees to make
    them feel loved and wanted and part
    of a wonderful spiritual family.

   Foster warm personal relationships
    and a spirit of love and trust amongst
    devotees based on Krishna conscious
    principles.
How Does The System Work?
   Certain experienced devotees from the
    temple and the congregation are
    trained and nominated to provide
    support and guidance.

   Devotees from the temple and the
    congregation accept particular spiritual
    guide.

   Train assistant guides.
How Is A Spiritual Guide Selected?


   Be a devotee who has been in active Krishna
    consciousness within ISKCON for a reasonable
    length of time.

   Demonstrate a solid understanding of the
    philosophy and practice of Krishna
    consciousness.

   Demonstrate the ability to give balanced
    guidance based on Krishna conscious principles
    according to time, place and circumstance.
How Is A Spiritual Guide Selected?


   Be willing to extend himself/herself to
    help others. Has a spirit of sacrifice.

   Be compassionate and have genuine
    concern for the welfare of devotees.

   Be a good listener.
How Is A Spiritual Guide Selected?
   Be a mature, sober and stable individual.

   Demonstrate good standard of sadhana,
    etiquette, behaviour, service and
    commitment to the ISKCON’s mission.

   Be properly situated in his/her own asrama.
Becoming A Gardener
When a person receives the seed of
devotional service, he should take care of it
by becoming a gardener and sowing the seed
in his heart. If he waters the seed gradually
by the process of sravana and kirtana
[hearing and chanting], the seed will begin to
sprout.

CC Madhya 19.152
Responsibility Of A Spiritual Guide

   A spiritual guide is a friend, supporter and
    guide in Krsna consciousness.

   A spiritual elder brother/sister. Takes
    personal care of all devotees in the group.

   Inspires and encourages devotees whom he
    guides in Krsna consciousness and monitors
    their progress.

   Provides Krsna conscious training to those
    devotees.
Responsibility Of A Spiritual Guide

   Assists devotees in both spiritual and
    personal matters. He looks into the overall
    welfare of the devotees.

   Conducts fortnightly meetings with devotees.

   Recommends qualified candidates for first
    and second initiation.

   Does not abuse his/her position as a guide
Responsibility Of A Spiritual Guide
   Provides useful input to the Team of
    Spiritual Guides and actively
    participates in meetings.

   Sets a solid standard of sadhana,
    service and behaviour.
4 Roles Of A Spiritual Guide

1.   Example
2.   Support
3.   Guidance
4.   Challenge
Training Of Devotees
    How to be ideal brahmacaris and grhasthas
    by keeping Krsna in the centre.

   How to maintain proper devotional standards
    at the temple or at home (regarding
    behaviour, sadhana, kitchen, altar, etc.).

   How to be proper brahmacari or
    wife/husband/parent/child, etc., according to
    scriptures.
Training Of Devotees
   How to balance economic and social responsibilities
    with spiritual vows.

   How women should deal with men, particularly
    brahmacharis and sannyasis.

   How men should deal with women.

   How to have proper attitude towards other asramas.

   A manual of Vaisnava Etiquette and Lifestyle is
    discussed in meetings.
Meetings Of Spiritual Guides And
               Devotees
   Vaisnava bhajans.

   A few pages of one of Srila Prabhupada’s books are
    discussed. One of the devotees makes a presentation
    and a discussion follows.

   Sharing realizations.

   Discussion on service, sadhana and Vaisnava
    etiquette.
Meetings Of Spiritual Guides And Devotees

   Any challenges or problems.

   Personal problems that require confidentiality
    are discussed in private with the guide.

   Kirtana.

   Prasadam.
Meetings Of The Team of Spiritual Guides


• Discussion on sadhana (japa, waking up early,
  etc.).

• Reading (philosophy, importance of reading
  Prabhupada’s books, etc.).

• Vaisnava etiquette and behaviour (how to
  serve/honour prasadam, personal habits,
  discussion on 26 qualities of a Vaisnava, etc.).
  Different guides make presentations each time.

• Caring for devotees (reports from various teams
  formed to care for devotees, if applicable).
Meetings Of Spiritual Guides
   Sometimes when the discussion flows
    spontaneously, more time is required.

   At the end, various management matters are
    discussed if needed.

   Prasadam.
Current Examples
   Chowpatty Mumbai
   Ukraine
   Bhaktivedanta Manor
   Stockholm
   London Soho
Benefits
   Train more preachers
   Increase book distribution
   Assist ISKCON gurus
   Not lose devotees
   Stable families
   Train spiritual leaders
   Krsna consciousness in the workplace
   Less problems and scandals
   Expand the mission
   “Boiling the milk”
Benefits
   Increase support network for devotees
   Increase preaching opportunities
   Increase congregational involvement
   Increase temple maintenance
   Ensure that the Temple takes into account
    the views of the congregational and temple
    devotees when making decisions.
   Facilitate loving relationships between
    brahmacaris and grhasthas or temple and
    congregational devotees.
How to start?
   Form teams of local devotees who are willing
    to be spiritual guides.

   Leaders support them in starting and
    developing a system by speaking about it in
    classes and forums and providing practical
    help.

   Take assistance from the European Team for
    Spiritual Guidance.
Fan the spark!
   Just like people come here with little
    faith. That faith is the little spark of
    fire. Now you have to fan it, fan it, so
    that fire may increase.

    Lecture, Srimad-Bhagavatam 1.2.12 Vrndavana, October 23, 1972
   We require many boys and girls
    like you to spread this movement.
    Please do it carefully and help
    others to become Krishna
    conscious.

    Letter to Dayananda - Calcutta 8 February, 1971
   Every disciple must make his own
    spiritual progress positively and
    help others to do so.

Letter to Nayanabhirama - Bombay 30 April, 1971
   So everything is there. Save yourself,
    save others. This is our Krsna
    consciousness movement. First of all
    save yourself; then try to save others.
    Or both things can go on
    simultaneously.

    Conversation on Roof - February 14, 1977, Mayapura
One to One Skills
 For Spiritual Guides
Outline
Part 1
 Introduction

 10 Qualities

 Goal Setting



Part 2
 Relationship

 Skills

 Practice
How can we assist devotees?
   In going from where they are to
    where they want to be, more quickly
    and efficiently than they would do it
    on their own
   Provide a framework for their self-
    observation, self-evaluation and
    improvement
How you can assist devotees?
   By together highlighting and
    engaging their worth, potential,
    talents and strengths
   By together discovering new options,
    opportunities, possibilities and
    advantages for solving problems and
    achieving results
   By together finding solutions that
    exactly meet their needs
10 qualities
1.   A genuine desire to help devotees
     succeed
2.   Genuine interest in devotees
3.   A greater interest in people than in
     things
4.   The ability to balance your own life
     and to put your own issues on hold
5.   Total commitment to devotee’s
     success
10 qualities
6.    Excellent verbal communication
7.    Strict confidentiality
8.    Being neither judgemental nor
      critical
9.    Being an explorer and provider of
      options
10.   Persistence
Goal setting
“Our goal is Krsna, and we are preaching
the gospel of Krsna, Bhagavad-gita As It
Is”
- Letter to Jayagovinda, Los Angeles 13 August 1969


“Disturbance is due to want of an ultimate
goal, and when one is certain that Krsna is
the enjoyer, proprietor and friend of
everyone and everything, then one can,
with a steady mind, bring about peace.” –
- Bg 2.66 P
Start
   If you want to achieve goals you’ve
    never achieved before, you have to
    start doing things you’ve never done
    before.
Goals
   A problem to solve or a result to
    achieve
   A minor or major change of direction
   Clear destination first
   The means and motivation
Two steps
   Helping a devotee to define where
    they want to be (setting their goals)

   Helping a devotee to reach that
    destination (achieving their goals)
SMART goals
   Specific        Clearly defined
                    Tangible, practical,
   Measurable        quantifiable
                    Inspiring
   Attractive      Within your capacity
   Realistic         or influence
                   Have a deadline
   Time-bound
Writing goals
   The act of physically writing goals
    down (paper or electronic) reinforces
    your commitment to achieving them.
    A goal that is not written is likely to
    be forgotten
   Yale University study
Working with goals
   Write them down
   Read them everyday
   Do something everyday to move you
    closer to achieving them
   Evaluate your actions
   Create a support structure
   Meet deadlines
   Etc.
Exercise
   Choose a goal in one area of your life
    (spiritual, career, relationships,
    health, etc.) and make it into a
    SMART goal, write it down and share
    it with a devotee next to you or with
    a group.
Demonstration
   Help a volunteer from the audience
    to set and achieve a goal in his
    chosen area.
Relationship

 Let me become a sincere servant of
the devotees, because by serving
them one can achieve unalloyed
devotional service unto the lotus feet
of the Lord.”

- Nectar of Devotion, Rendering Service to Devotees
  (SB 3.7.19)
Establishing rapport
Dictionary definitions:
 A close and harmonious relationship

  in which there is common
  understanding
 A feeling of understanding and

  sympathy
Rapport
   “Getting in tune with another person
    so that your mutual communications
    are totally successful”.
   Make it easy for a devotee to relate
    to you
   Show genuine interest
   Listen empathically
Rapport
   Excellent mutual understanding
   Trust
   Say what you mean
   Mean what you say
   Enthusiastic to work together
Interrupting
   Discussion that is going nowhere
   Negative line of comments
   Self-pitying, victim attitude
Honesty
 “If one is always acting under these
 three facts, knowing Krsna to be the
 Supreme Proprietor, Enjoyer, and
 Friend, then he is truly honest, and if
 one is not acting in this knowledge,
 then he is always cheating or being
 dishonest.”
- Srila Prabhupada, Letter to Bhakta dasa, Tokyo 2 May 1972
What does it mean?
   Being totally honest with yourself
   Being totally honest with a devotee
   Comply with your spiritual beliefs,
    ethics and Vaisnava behaviour
   “Put on an act” for a while
   From a true place within
Exercise: Your Spiritual Ethics
   Think of a time where you were not
    truthful in a relationship and what
    were the consequences
A servant
   Finds pleasure in helping you
    succeed in your chosen area. He
    does this by assisting you in finding
    solutions to your problems and
    strategies for achieving your goals
   Sees you in terms of your potential,
    not in terms of your present
    performance or behaviour
A servant
   He is like a friend or teacher, leader
    or adviser who believes in you when
    you don't believe in yourself. One
    who stays with you regardless. Not
    someone who is too soft and
    permissive with you, someone who
    gives in to you, but someone who
    would neither give in to you nor give
    up on you.
Exercise
   Practice building rapport
   Add guidelines
   Feedback and discussion
BG
   It is said that He (Krsna) is the ocean of
    all the relationships exchanged between
    two living entities ... Bg 11.14 P

   One who works in devotion, who is a pure
    soul, and who controls his mind and
    senses is dear to everyone, and everyone
    is dear to him. Though always working,
    such a man is never entangled. Bg 5.7
Skills
1.   Listen empathically
2.   Ask effective questions
3.   Turn problems into opportunities
4.   Promote dynamic action
Listen
   Fully understand the situation of the
    devotee
   Give them the space to understand
    themselves
   Listen first and seek first to
    understand
   Remain as impartial, open and
    objective as you possibly can
Listen
   Interested and concerned
   THEY are responsible for their lives
   Clear your mind of all personal issues
Exercise
   Listen to a devotee next to you for 3
    minutes. You must not: make any
    sound, say anything, nod, shake
    your head or show any other signs.
    Repeat back your understanding of
    the key points they made. Ask a
    devotee whether you understood him
    or her well.
Asking Effective Questions
The purpose of asking questions is to:
1. Understand your devotee well

2. Help them understand themselves

3. Clarify what they want

4. Discover new options, opportunities,
   possibilities and advantages
5. Identify obstacles

6. Make an action plan
EQ
   What are your strengths, talents,
    skills, good qualities?
   What do you want?
   What one great thing would you dare
    to dream if you knew you could not
    fail? (question about an exciting
    goal)
EQ
   What one thing, if you would do superbly
    well everyday, would make the greatest
    positive difference in your life? (question
    about personal habits / best practices)
   What can you learn from this?
   How can you turn this problem into an
    opportunity?
   What and who inspires you the most?
EQ
   What do you want?
   Are you ready to pay the price?
Disempowering questions
   Why are you so bad?
   Why you don’t understand what’s
    good for you?
   When are you going to change /
    shape up / grow up?
   How could you do such a thing?
Tip
   After asking questions and listening,
    summarize what you have heard to
    be sure you have understand your
    devotee well.
Power of questions
   The question that saved
    concentration camp prisoner’s life.
Exercise
     Pair up as and take turn to speak
     about an issue.
1.   Ask relevant and empowering
     questions until he is certain to have
     understood the devotee
2.   Paraphrase back to the devotee to
     determine whether he has
     successfully understood him. The
     devotee should confirm it.
Turning Problems Into Opportunities

“O Partha, happy are the ksatriyas to
whom such fighting opportunities
come unsought, opening for them
the doors of the heavenly planets.”

Bg 2.32
Turning Problems Into Opportunities

   The way you see a problem or a task
    powerfully influences you action and
    the results you will achieve.
   Help the devotee to see their
    problems differently: as a blessing in
    disguise.
A turnaround expert
   What is great about this problem?
   What can I learn from this problem?
   What this problem is an opportunity for?
   If you would be a world expert on these
    issues, what would you advise?
   If you would be super-intelligent, how
    would you deal with this problem?
   What additional skills do you need to deal
    with this problem?
A turnaround expert
   Use questions as you see fit, in any
    order
   Induce a devotee to see themselves
    as expert in solving a particular
    problem and learn everything they
    can about it from various sources
    (spiritual, professional, etc.).
Exercise
   Choose one problem and turn it into
    an opportunity together.
Promoting Action
“Factually, we should be engaged 24
hours in Krsna's service and
everything should be done very
nicely and perfectly.”

Srila Prabhupada, Letter to Adi-kesava, Bombay 2 January 1975
Helping devotees succeed
Helps devotees succeed in their
  chosen area by assisting them by:
 Clarifying what they want

 Exploring options, opportunities,

  possibilities and advantages
 Overcoming obstacles

 Making a written action plan

 Holding them accountable by

  requesting weekly reports
Holistic Or Complete Care
   Health
   Sadhana
   Service
   Relationships
   Etc.
Change
   To change their results, devotee
    needs to change their perception,
    their thinking and their action.
   To achieve things you have never
    achieved before, you have to start
    doing things you have never done
    before.
Success
   Success = Personal effort + Krsna’s mercy
   The place of action [the body], the performer, the various
    senses, the many different kinds of endeavour, and
    ultimately the Supersoul — these are the five factors of
    action. Whatever right or wrong action a man performs by
    body, mind or speech is caused by these five factors.
    Therefore one who thinks himself the only doer, not
    considering the five factors, is certainly not very intelligent
    and cannot see things as they are.
    Bg 18.14-16

   O son of Kunti, I am the taste of water, the light of the sun
    and the moon, the syllable om in the Vedic mantras; I am
    the sound in ether and ability in man .
    Bg 7.8
Practice
   Demonstration
   Mutual assistance
   Share first with your partner and
    then with a whole group what you
    have learned and experienced both
    as a guide and guided
Helping each other
   Prabhupada liked to hear of his disciples helping each other
    to follow the instructions of the spiritual master .
    SDG, Prabhupada Meditations 2.2.3: Guru Means Heavy

   I hope we shall very soon meet again and help each other
    in the matter of discharging Krishna consciousness
    engagements.
    Letter to Satsvarupa - Delhi 6 October, 1967

   … help each other to become better and better preachers of
    this Krishna Consciousness movement.
    Letter to Madhucara - Nairobi 25 September, 1971
Summary
   Attentive to devotee’s needs, interests and
    concerns
   Confidential
   Supportive
   Focused on a devotee being guided
   Personal issues
   Sharing realizations and successes
   Not a lecture
   Working together to find solutions
   Enlightening
GITA ONE-TO-ONE MODEL
   Goals
   Instructions
   Tests
   Action
Benefits
   Clear inspiring goals
   Personalized instructions
   Strength and knowledge to pass the
    tests
   Dynamic action
Goals
   Positive
   SMART
   Written
Instructions
   Research
   Choose
   Think
   Apply
Tests
   Internal
   External
   Easier
   Harder
Action
   What
   How
   When
   Accountability
ONE-TO-ONE SKILLS
4 Roles Of A Spiritual Guide

1.   Example
2.   Support
3.   Guidance
4.   Challenge
How do we help devotees
            succeed?

1.   Highlight devotees’ worth and
     potential.
2.   Discover new options,
     opportunities, possibilities and
     advantages.
3.   Find solutions that exactly meet
     their needs.
Establishing Rapport
   Definition
   Attentive listening
   Honesty
   Service attitude
Effective Questions

   Purpose
   Disempowering questions
   Empowering questions
Turning Issues Into Goals

   Issue = problem or result
   Current reality
   Desired outcome
   SMART goal
   Goal as a challenge
Promoting Action

   Specific action
   Written plan
   Determination: on a scale 1-10
   Accountability
PRACTICE ONE-TO-ONE

   Plan A Session
   Have A Session
   Evaluate A Session
Plan A Session

   Use the GITA table in the handout
   Take assistance
   Review skills
   Clarify outcome, i.e. specific action
Have A Session

   Work in threes (guide, devotee,
    observer)
   Follow your session plan
   Avoid giving advice
   Ensure action
Evaluate A Session

   Ask a devotee
   Ask the observer
   Ask yourself
   Share with a facilitator
Follow Up

   Teach it within 48 hours
   Apply it daily
   Report to someone
   Stay in touch with guides
   Mutual assistance (daily or weekly
    mutual questions)
Services And Resources
   One-to-one coaching
   Courses: Helping Devotees
    Succeed, Gita Coaching
   Leadership consulting
   Ebook: Helping Devotees
    Succeed
   Audio: Helping Devotees
    Succeed
   Website:
Thank you!




Hare Krsna
HELPING DEVOTEES SUCCEED

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HELPING DEVOTEES SUCCEED

  • 1. Helping Devotees Succeed Spiritual Guidance System
  • 3. A Spiritual Guide Your spiritual success partner who:  Thinks of you, listens to you and speaks to you kindly in all circumstances  Works alongside you with strong faith in you and your potential  Assists you in making lasting positive changes in your life  Supports you and encourages your spiritual and professional growth
  • 4. A Spiritual Guide  Encourages your service, recognises your natural gifts and talents, so that you can use them as a basis for your spiritual growth and material support  Works with you and for you, not on you  Keeps strictly confidential any information about you  Believes in your inherent potential to be a pure devotee of the Lord.
  • 5. The Seven Purposes of ISKCON 3. To bring the members of the Society together with each other and nearer to Krishna, the prime entity, thus developing the idea within the members, and humanity at large, that each soul is part and parcel of the quality of Godhead (Krishna). 6. To bring the members closer together for the purpose of teaching a simpler, more natural way of life.
  • 6. Be under the guidance of your elder brother Janardana and you will progress nicely. Letter to Sivananda - Los Angeles 21 January, 1968
  • 7. … please act under the guidance of Brahmananda, so long I am not able to see you … Letter to Robert - Los Angeles 20 February, 1968
  • 8. I am pleased to note that Girish is progressing nicely under your guidance. Letter to Aniruddha - Los Angeles 23 January, 1969
  • 9. People are going to hell for want of proper guidance. Letter to Harer Nama - Los Angeles 15 January, 1970
  • 10. One who gives personal instruction to each and everyone does more for others than the platform speakers do. Generally, whatever platform speakers say cannot solve the problem of everyone in the audience, nor can it always benefit every individual. A person's defects are better rectified in a private tutorial class or private coaching than in hearing lectures in a school or college. Therefore those who instruct particular persons separately can award them something more permanent. - Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati, Amrta Vani, page 315
  • 11. A Need!  There is a clear need for more systematic and effective support and guidance of devotees - based on talking to hundreds of serious devotees serving in ISKCON.
  • 12. Return On Investment  People who are taken care of well and are guided well will tend to do the same with others in return  This will expand our mission and grow our movement.
  • 13. Holistic Or Complete Care  Health  Sadhana  Service  Relationships  Etc.
  • 14. This is organization That is the way of Indian teaching, that there is one teacher, and how he's managing hundreds? That means there are groups. One who is elderly student, he's taking some beginners: "Write a or A like this." That he can teach. What he has learned, he can teach. Similarly, next group, next group. So in this way, one teacher can manage hundreds of students of different categories. This is organization. Not that everything I have to do. I cannot teach anybody to do it. That is not intelligence. Room Conversation -- July 31, 1976, New Mayapur (French farm)
  • 15. This is organization Intelligence is that employ others to help you. That is intelligence. Not that "Oh, I was busy, I could not do it." Why? What about your assistant? Train assistant so that in your absence things can be done. So the elderly students, they could be... Just Caitanya Mahaprabhu used to do that. When He was sixteen years old he could argue with Kesava Kasmiri, because He was practiced. In this way, stage after stage, everyone should be expert. Everyone should be teacher and student. Room Conversation -- July 31, 1976, New Mayapur (French farm)
  • 16. Purpose  Educate and train devotees to live according to the Krishna conscious principles of their asrama.  Provide systematic training in Krishna conscious philosophy, sadhana, Vaisnava behaviour, lifestyle and attitudes.
  • 17. Purpose  Provide a formal framework within which personal care and attention can be provided to all devotees to make them feel loved and wanted and part of a wonderful spiritual family.  Foster warm personal relationships and a spirit of love and trust amongst devotees based on Krishna conscious principles.
  • 18. How Does The System Work?  Certain experienced devotees from the temple and the congregation are trained and nominated to provide support and guidance.  Devotees from the temple and the congregation accept particular spiritual guide.  Train assistant guides.
  • 19. How Is A Spiritual Guide Selected?  Be a devotee who has been in active Krishna consciousness within ISKCON for a reasonable length of time.  Demonstrate a solid understanding of the philosophy and practice of Krishna consciousness.  Demonstrate the ability to give balanced guidance based on Krishna conscious principles according to time, place and circumstance.
  • 20. How Is A Spiritual Guide Selected?  Be willing to extend himself/herself to help others. Has a spirit of sacrifice.  Be compassionate and have genuine concern for the welfare of devotees.  Be a good listener.
  • 21. How Is A Spiritual Guide Selected?  Be a mature, sober and stable individual.  Demonstrate good standard of sadhana, etiquette, behaviour, service and commitment to the ISKCON’s mission.  Be properly situated in his/her own asrama.
  • 22. Becoming A Gardener When a person receives the seed of devotional service, he should take care of it by becoming a gardener and sowing the seed in his heart. If he waters the seed gradually by the process of sravana and kirtana [hearing and chanting], the seed will begin to sprout. CC Madhya 19.152
  • 23. Responsibility Of A Spiritual Guide  A spiritual guide is a friend, supporter and guide in Krsna consciousness.  A spiritual elder brother/sister. Takes personal care of all devotees in the group.  Inspires and encourages devotees whom he guides in Krsna consciousness and monitors their progress.  Provides Krsna conscious training to those devotees.
  • 24. Responsibility Of A Spiritual Guide  Assists devotees in both spiritual and personal matters. He looks into the overall welfare of the devotees.  Conducts fortnightly meetings with devotees.  Recommends qualified candidates for first and second initiation.  Does not abuse his/her position as a guide
  • 25. Responsibility Of A Spiritual Guide  Provides useful input to the Team of Spiritual Guides and actively participates in meetings.  Sets a solid standard of sadhana, service and behaviour.
  • 26. 4 Roles Of A Spiritual Guide 1. Example 2. Support 3. Guidance 4. Challenge
  • 27. Training Of Devotees How to be ideal brahmacaris and grhasthas by keeping Krsna in the centre.  How to maintain proper devotional standards at the temple or at home (regarding behaviour, sadhana, kitchen, altar, etc.).  How to be proper brahmacari or wife/husband/parent/child, etc., according to scriptures.
  • 28. Training Of Devotees  How to balance economic and social responsibilities with spiritual vows.  How women should deal with men, particularly brahmacharis and sannyasis.  How men should deal with women.  How to have proper attitude towards other asramas.  A manual of Vaisnava Etiquette and Lifestyle is discussed in meetings.
  • 29. Meetings Of Spiritual Guides And Devotees  Vaisnava bhajans.  A few pages of one of Srila Prabhupada’s books are discussed. One of the devotees makes a presentation and a discussion follows.  Sharing realizations.  Discussion on service, sadhana and Vaisnava etiquette.
  • 30. Meetings Of Spiritual Guides And Devotees  Any challenges or problems.  Personal problems that require confidentiality are discussed in private with the guide.  Kirtana.  Prasadam.
  • 31. Meetings Of The Team of Spiritual Guides • Discussion on sadhana (japa, waking up early, etc.). • Reading (philosophy, importance of reading Prabhupada’s books, etc.). • Vaisnava etiquette and behaviour (how to serve/honour prasadam, personal habits, discussion on 26 qualities of a Vaisnava, etc.). Different guides make presentations each time. • Caring for devotees (reports from various teams formed to care for devotees, if applicable).
  • 32. Meetings Of Spiritual Guides  Sometimes when the discussion flows spontaneously, more time is required.  At the end, various management matters are discussed if needed.  Prasadam.
  • 33. Current Examples  Chowpatty Mumbai  Ukraine  Bhaktivedanta Manor  Stockholm  London Soho
  • 34. Benefits  Train more preachers  Increase book distribution  Assist ISKCON gurus  Not lose devotees  Stable families  Train spiritual leaders  Krsna consciousness in the workplace  Less problems and scandals  Expand the mission  “Boiling the milk”
  • 35. Benefits  Increase support network for devotees  Increase preaching opportunities  Increase congregational involvement  Increase temple maintenance  Ensure that the Temple takes into account the views of the congregational and temple devotees when making decisions.  Facilitate loving relationships between brahmacaris and grhasthas or temple and congregational devotees.
  • 36. How to start?  Form teams of local devotees who are willing to be spiritual guides.  Leaders support them in starting and developing a system by speaking about it in classes and forums and providing practical help.  Take assistance from the European Team for Spiritual Guidance.
  • 37. Fan the spark!  Just like people come here with little faith. That faith is the little spark of fire. Now you have to fan it, fan it, so that fire may increase. Lecture, Srimad-Bhagavatam 1.2.12 Vrndavana, October 23, 1972
  • 38. We require many boys and girls like you to spread this movement. Please do it carefully and help others to become Krishna conscious. Letter to Dayananda - Calcutta 8 February, 1971
  • 39. Every disciple must make his own spiritual progress positively and help others to do so. Letter to Nayanabhirama - Bombay 30 April, 1971
  • 40. So everything is there. Save yourself, save others. This is our Krsna consciousness movement. First of all save yourself; then try to save others. Or both things can go on simultaneously. Conversation on Roof - February 14, 1977, Mayapura
  • 41. One to One Skills For Spiritual Guides
  • 42. Outline Part 1  Introduction  10 Qualities  Goal Setting Part 2  Relationship  Skills  Practice
  • 43. How can we assist devotees?  In going from where they are to where they want to be, more quickly and efficiently than they would do it on their own  Provide a framework for their self- observation, self-evaluation and improvement
  • 44. How you can assist devotees?  By together highlighting and engaging their worth, potential, talents and strengths  By together discovering new options, opportunities, possibilities and advantages for solving problems and achieving results  By together finding solutions that exactly meet their needs
  • 45. 10 qualities 1. A genuine desire to help devotees succeed 2. Genuine interest in devotees 3. A greater interest in people than in things 4. The ability to balance your own life and to put your own issues on hold 5. Total commitment to devotee’s success
  • 46. 10 qualities 6. Excellent verbal communication 7. Strict confidentiality 8. Being neither judgemental nor critical 9. Being an explorer and provider of options 10. Persistence
  • 47. Goal setting “Our goal is Krsna, and we are preaching the gospel of Krsna, Bhagavad-gita As It Is” - Letter to Jayagovinda, Los Angeles 13 August 1969 “Disturbance is due to want of an ultimate goal, and when one is certain that Krsna is the enjoyer, proprietor and friend of everyone and everything, then one can, with a steady mind, bring about peace.” – - Bg 2.66 P
  • 48. Start  If you want to achieve goals you’ve never achieved before, you have to start doing things you’ve never done before.
  • 49. Goals  A problem to solve or a result to achieve  A minor or major change of direction  Clear destination first  The means and motivation
  • 50. Two steps  Helping a devotee to define where they want to be (setting their goals)  Helping a devotee to reach that destination (achieving their goals)
  • 51. SMART goals  Specific Clearly defined Tangible, practical,  Measurable quantifiable Inspiring  Attractive Within your capacity  Realistic or influence  Have a deadline  Time-bound
  • 52. Writing goals  The act of physically writing goals down (paper or electronic) reinforces your commitment to achieving them. A goal that is not written is likely to be forgotten  Yale University study
  • 53. Working with goals  Write them down  Read them everyday  Do something everyday to move you closer to achieving them  Evaluate your actions  Create a support structure  Meet deadlines  Etc.
  • 54. Exercise  Choose a goal in one area of your life (spiritual, career, relationships, health, etc.) and make it into a SMART goal, write it down and share it with a devotee next to you or with a group.
  • 55. Demonstration  Help a volunteer from the audience to set and achieve a goal in his chosen area.
  • 56. Relationship Let me become a sincere servant of the devotees, because by serving them one can achieve unalloyed devotional service unto the lotus feet of the Lord.” - Nectar of Devotion, Rendering Service to Devotees (SB 3.7.19)
  • 57. Establishing rapport Dictionary definitions:  A close and harmonious relationship in which there is common understanding  A feeling of understanding and sympathy
  • 58. Rapport  “Getting in tune with another person so that your mutual communications are totally successful”.  Make it easy for a devotee to relate to you  Show genuine interest  Listen empathically
  • 59. Rapport  Excellent mutual understanding  Trust  Say what you mean  Mean what you say  Enthusiastic to work together
  • 60. Interrupting  Discussion that is going nowhere  Negative line of comments  Self-pitying, victim attitude
  • 61. Honesty “If one is always acting under these three facts, knowing Krsna to be the Supreme Proprietor, Enjoyer, and Friend, then he is truly honest, and if one is not acting in this knowledge, then he is always cheating or being dishonest.” - Srila Prabhupada, Letter to Bhakta dasa, Tokyo 2 May 1972
  • 62. What does it mean?  Being totally honest with yourself  Being totally honest with a devotee  Comply with your spiritual beliefs, ethics and Vaisnava behaviour  “Put on an act” for a while  From a true place within
  • 63. Exercise: Your Spiritual Ethics  Think of a time where you were not truthful in a relationship and what were the consequences
  • 64. A servant  Finds pleasure in helping you succeed in your chosen area. He does this by assisting you in finding solutions to your problems and strategies for achieving your goals  Sees you in terms of your potential, not in terms of your present performance or behaviour
  • 65. A servant  He is like a friend or teacher, leader or adviser who believes in you when you don't believe in yourself. One who stays with you regardless. Not someone who is too soft and permissive with you, someone who gives in to you, but someone who would neither give in to you nor give up on you.
  • 66. Exercise  Practice building rapport  Add guidelines  Feedback and discussion
  • 67. BG  It is said that He (Krsna) is the ocean of all the relationships exchanged between two living entities ... Bg 11.14 P  One who works in devotion, who is a pure soul, and who controls his mind and senses is dear to everyone, and everyone is dear to him. Though always working, such a man is never entangled. Bg 5.7
  • 68. Skills 1. Listen empathically 2. Ask effective questions 3. Turn problems into opportunities 4. Promote dynamic action
  • 69. Listen  Fully understand the situation of the devotee  Give them the space to understand themselves  Listen first and seek first to understand  Remain as impartial, open and objective as you possibly can
  • 70. Listen  Interested and concerned  THEY are responsible for their lives  Clear your mind of all personal issues
  • 71. Exercise  Listen to a devotee next to you for 3 minutes. You must not: make any sound, say anything, nod, shake your head or show any other signs. Repeat back your understanding of the key points they made. Ask a devotee whether you understood him or her well.
  • 72. Asking Effective Questions The purpose of asking questions is to: 1. Understand your devotee well 2. Help them understand themselves 3. Clarify what they want 4. Discover new options, opportunities, possibilities and advantages 5. Identify obstacles 6. Make an action plan
  • 73. EQ  What are your strengths, talents, skills, good qualities?  What do you want?  What one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail? (question about an exciting goal)
  • 74. EQ  What one thing, if you would do superbly well everyday, would make the greatest positive difference in your life? (question about personal habits / best practices)  What can you learn from this?  How can you turn this problem into an opportunity?  What and who inspires you the most?
  • 75. EQ  What do you want?  Are you ready to pay the price?
  • 76. Disempowering questions  Why are you so bad?  Why you don’t understand what’s good for you?  When are you going to change / shape up / grow up?  How could you do such a thing?
  • 77. Tip  After asking questions and listening, summarize what you have heard to be sure you have understand your devotee well.
  • 78. Power of questions  The question that saved concentration camp prisoner’s life.
  • 79. Exercise Pair up as and take turn to speak about an issue. 1. Ask relevant and empowering questions until he is certain to have understood the devotee 2. Paraphrase back to the devotee to determine whether he has successfully understood him. The devotee should confirm it.
  • 80. Turning Problems Into Opportunities “O Partha, happy are the ksatriyas to whom such fighting opportunities come unsought, opening for them the doors of the heavenly planets.” Bg 2.32
  • 81. Turning Problems Into Opportunities  The way you see a problem or a task powerfully influences you action and the results you will achieve.  Help the devotee to see their problems differently: as a blessing in disguise.
  • 82. A turnaround expert  What is great about this problem?  What can I learn from this problem?  What this problem is an opportunity for?  If you would be a world expert on these issues, what would you advise?  If you would be super-intelligent, how would you deal with this problem?  What additional skills do you need to deal with this problem?
  • 83. A turnaround expert  Use questions as you see fit, in any order  Induce a devotee to see themselves as expert in solving a particular problem and learn everything they can about it from various sources (spiritual, professional, etc.).
  • 84. Exercise  Choose one problem and turn it into an opportunity together.
  • 85. Promoting Action “Factually, we should be engaged 24 hours in Krsna's service and everything should be done very nicely and perfectly.” Srila Prabhupada, Letter to Adi-kesava, Bombay 2 January 1975
  • 86. Helping devotees succeed Helps devotees succeed in their chosen area by assisting them by:  Clarifying what they want  Exploring options, opportunities, possibilities and advantages  Overcoming obstacles  Making a written action plan  Holding them accountable by requesting weekly reports
  • 87. Holistic Or Complete Care  Health  Sadhana  Service  Relationships  Etc.
  • 88. Change  To change their results, devotee needs to change their perception, their thinking and their action.  To achieve things you have never achieved before, you have to start doing things you have never done before.
  • 89. Success  Success = Personal effort + Krsna’s mercy  The place of action [the body], the performer, the various senses, the many different kinds of endeavour, and ultimately the Supersoul — these are the five factors of action. Whatever right or wrong action a man performs by body, mind or speech is caused by these five factors. Therefore one who thinks himself the only doer, not considering the five factors, is certainly not very intelligent and cannot see things as they are. Bg 18.14-16  O son of Kunti, I am the taste of water, the light of the sun and the moon, the syllable om in the Vedic mantras; I am the sound in ether and ability in man . Bg 7.8
  • 90. Practice  Demonstration  Mutual assistance  Share first with your partner and then with a whole group what you have learned and experienced both as a guide and guided
  • 91. Helping each other  Prabhupada liked to hear of his disciples helping each other to follow the instructions of the spiritual master . SDG, Prabhupada Meditations 2.2.3: Guru Means Heavy  I hope we shall very soon meet again and help each other in the matter of discharging Krishna consciousness engagements. Letter to Satsvarupa - Delhi 6 October, 1967  … help each other to become better and better preachers of this Krishna Consciousness movement. Letter to Madhucara - Nairobi 25 September, 1971
  • 92. Summary  Attentive to devotee’s needs, interests and concerns  Confidential  Supportive  Focused on a devotee being guided  Personal issues  Sharing realizations and successes  Not a lecture  Working together to find solutions  Enlightening
  • 93. GITA ONE-TO-ONE MODEL  Goals  Instructions  Tests  Action
  • 94. Benefits  Clear inspiring goals  Personalized instructions  Strength and knowledge to pass the tests  Dynamic action
  • 95. Goals  Positive  SMART  Written
  • 96. Instructions  Research  Choose  Think  Apply
  • 97. Tests  Internal  External  Easier  Harder
  • 98. Action  What  How  When  Accountability
  • 100. 4 Roles Of A Spiritual Guide 1. Example 2. Support 3. Guidance 4. Challenge
  • 101. How do we help devotees succeed? 1. Highlight devotees’ worth and potential. 2. Discover new options, opportunities, possibilities and advantages. 3. Find solutions that exactly meet their needs.
  • 102. Establishing Rapport  Definition  Attentive listening  Honesty  Service attitude
  • 103. Effective Questions  Purpose  Disempowering questions  Empowering questions
  • 104. Turning Issues Into Goals  Issue = problem or result  Current reality  Desired outcome  SMART goal  Goal as a challenge
  • 105. Promoting Action  Specific action  Written plan  Determination: on a scale 1-10  Accountability
  • 106. PRACTICE ONE-TO-ONE  Plan A Session  Have A Session  Evaluate A Session
  • 107. Plan A Session  Use the GITA table in the handout  Take assistance  Review skills  Clarify outcome, i.e. specific action
  • 108. Have A Session  Work in threes (guide, devotee, observer)  Follow your session plan  Avoid giving advice  Ensure action
  • 109. Evaluate A Session  Ask a devotee  Ask the observer  Ask yourself  Share with a facilitator
  • 110. Follow Up  Teach it within 48 hours  Apply it daily  Report to someone  Stay in touch with guides  Mutual assistance (daily or weekly mutual questions)
  • 111. Services And Resources  One-to-one coaching  Courses: Helping Devotees Succeed, Gita Coaching  Leadership consulting  Ebook: Helping Devotees Succeed  Audio: Helping Devotees Succeed  Website: