2. Social & Emotional Intelligence
Predict Success in Life
Valliant study: mature adaptations, ability
to handle frustration, control emotions,
and get along with people predict
success and happiness later in life
3. Do you want more…?
• Personal Power • Relationship with
• Authenticity your Emotions
• Stress • Openness to new
Management Experiences
• Creativity • Memory
• Problem-Solving • Humor
• Self-Awareness • Good Decision
• Immune System Making
Strength
4. But wait, there’s more…
• Social Awareness • Understanding
• Social Facility • Easy Interactions
• Better Rapport • Social Skills
• Intimacy
• Influence
• Empathy
• Connection
5. Today’s Agenda
• Understand what Emotional & Social
Intelligence entail
• Know how to develop the skills to
maximize those benefits
6. Social Pain & Social Fear
• Physical pain
• Loss of status
• Feeling rejected, excluded
• Brain equates our social needs with
survival
7. Emotions are Contagious
• Brain research: humans are social
beings, hard-wired to live and work
together
• Our emotions alter each others’ brains
and physiological responses
• Social intelligence is our “interpersonal
radar”
• Social Brains
• Mirror Neurons
8. Define Social Intelligence
• Being smart about relationships
• Empathetic
• Sensing what others feel and acting
effectively based on that
• Understanding others’ point of view
• Smooth, effective interactions
• Acting wisely in human relations
16. Benefits of Social &
Emotional Intelligence
• Source of
energy, information, trust, creativity, an
d influence
• Improves performance, collaboration
with colleagues, and interaction with
customers
• Best differentiates between star
performers and typical employees
17. Benefits
• Awareness of emotions
(self and others)
• Self-soothing and regulating
• Focus
• Impusle control
• Values and ethical attitudes
• Reduced aggression and vviolence
• More confidence
19. Emotional Intelligence Defined
Salovy & Mayer (1990):
“A form of social intelligence that
involves the ability to monitor one’s own
and others’ emotions, to discriminate
among them, and use this info to guide
one’s thinking and action.”
20. Emotional Competence Defined
Daniel Goleman (1990):
“The personal and social skills that lead
to superior performance in the world of
work.”
26. Emotional Intelligence
Assessment
Can you recognize five of at least three of
the following?
Today I felt fear when/about…
Today I felt hurt when/about…
Today I felt anger when/about…
Today I felt sadness when/about…
Today I felt joy when/about…
27. If you want a great life…
• Career success
• Relationship success
• Contribution
• Well-being
• Sense of flourishing
…improve your SEI!
you all have some degree of EI or you wouldn't be here(you'd be drooling in the street, begging
Evolutionary wiring - safety, security = peopleExperience as physical pain:amygdala highjacktaxing, deadly to productivity, uses oxygen, glucose from blood diverted from other parts of brain inc working memoryimpairs analytic thinking, creative insight, problem solvingcalm the amygdalaname it to tame it
We are each other’s biological allieshold hands for women in MRI waiting to get mild shcock, anxiety lessens, if husband, anxiety next to nothingWe have ability to change ourselves sharing our brains wi each other
optimism, social support & whether we view stress as oppty or threatpositive mental attitude = brains more effectiveour brains are designed to work better when in positive state than neutral or neg
Transition to emotional intelligence at this point – defining it, developing it.
Empathy - feeling with, sensing non-verbal emotional signalsAttunement - listening wi full receptivity, attune to personEmpathic accuracy - understanding others' thoughts, feelings & intentionsSocial Cognition - knowing how the social world worksSocial Facility - knowing what others think and intend and interacting wi in smooth waySynchrony - interacting smoothly nonverbalSelf presentation - presenting self effectivelyInfluence - shaping outcomes of social interactionsConcern - caring re others' needs and acting accordingly
At SEI event on 7/13/11, this was an exercise in groups of 3s.Thomas can un-mute participants to discuss as a whole (the three webinars will have 10, 30, and 12 people on them)
Emotional self-awareness: ability to read one's emotsand recognize their impact while using gut feelings to guide decisions,being aware of emots and their significance, Accurate self assessment - knows strengths & limitsSelf-confidence-sound sense of self-worth and capabilities
Emotional self-control-mgs disruptive emots and impulses Transparency-honesty, integrity, trustworthyAdaptability-adapting to changing circumstancesAchievement -drive to improve performance to meet inner standards of excellenceInitiative -readiness to act & seize opptysOptimism-sees upsideregulating emots, honest & trustworthy, flexible & dedicated
Could talk about Phillip Zimbardo and shyness –emotional intelligence is a learnable skill, not just the way things areCOULD GO LATER – LEADING TO SALE – TALKING ABOUT LEARNABLE SKILLS
At the SEI evening, we then processed with a buddyYou could go to the phones then if people are willing to share:How many were able to identify emotions?How did it feel to speak them (even if alone in an office)To anyone who shares…how does it feel to share?
