1. Antheas the Musical<br />Act 1 Scene 1 – Sea Wrath Meeting Chamber<br />Kagan, Alivi and Msrambonette (both royals and monarch) all sit around a table. Sinister music (to have lyrics in a song further on) plays. They appear to be discussing something and they all have sincere expressions on their faces. The room is dimly lit and the candles flash against their faces when they move around.<br />Kagan: angry Something must be done. This guy is a very good battle navigator and runs legendary elite pillages but this is getting to be too much. He is taking all the jobbers with his singing!<br />Msrambonette: concerned Please remember who we are talking about here. He is a very respectful Senior Officer. Everyone loves him it would be bad for us if we obliterated him. You said yourself that he was essential to Antheas and Taking Flight! Surely we could just tell him to stop and then...<br />Alivi: strict No, we have tried asking him many a time but he just won’t stop. He’s getting all the crew members to sing along too. He wants to rub it in our faces. I bet he wants to turn Puzzle Pirates into a musical.<br />Kagan looks over to the lords and ladies of Sea Wrath sternly and stares quizically towards the representative.<br />Hurricanes: awkward We see no harm in him singing it brings a jolly atmosphere to Antheas and Taking Flight. I enjoy jobbing with them.<br />Msrambonette: He’s right Kagan... Surely it’s better for us to just leave them alone! So what if it makes people want to job for them. We would be horrible people to try and take away the fun of the game!<br />Kagan: I’ve heard quite enough of this. People like them have no right to have fun in this game. We RULE all pirates. They will NOT get away with this!<br />Kagan turns to the window and looks out into the night sky. <br />Kagan: furious, shouting You hear this, my friend. I will stop you singing if it’s the last thing I ever do... Blackmullet!<br />Blackout.<br />Act 1 Scene 2 - Grand Frigate Main Deck<br />Camera zooms down onto a grand frigate with the music from “Amy Macdonald – Poison Prince” getting gradually louder as the camera comes down. The members of Antheas (Blackmullet in the middle, Zandroth and Kyriel on either side and then other characters placed anywhere) are clicking their fingers in time with the music in the same stance then when the big drum pounds they immediately start doing a dance routine suitable for the music.<br /> Antheas – song<br />Song ends and everyone relaxes their position and start heading to their stations. All the senior officers start ordering people to stations whilst all other ranks go to chosen stations. Blackmullet stands at the helm with Zandroth nearby at the gunning station and Kyriel manning the Crows Nest.<br />Blackmullet: cheery Well that was fun wasn’t it! It’s got everyone ready for a great pillage! This is the first time I’ve had a full Grand Frigate in ages.<br />Kyriel: calling down Oh mullet! You’re always amazing at running these pillages. I just can’t work out how you do it!<br />Blackmullet: It’s all in the greatness ky! Hehe I’m kidding, no’one is as great as you Ky!<br />Zandroth: laughing Stop flattering yerselves! You’re far too confident for your own good!<br />Kyriel: grinning Ha! You’re just jealous that you aren’t as marvellous as I am!<br />Zandroth sticks out her tongue and they all start laughing when Thesniper comes up the stairs holding a piece of parchment.<br />Zandroth: Snipe!!! I thought you didn’t pillage!<br />Thesniper: rolling his eyes I don’t, Mullet forced me into it.<br />Blackmullet: mock horror Did not!<br />Thesniper: sighs Anyway I received this letter from Sea Wrath not five minutes ago. It’s addressed to you Mullet. Silly parrot must’ve mistaken me as you.<br />Thesniper walks over to Blackmullet and passes the unopened scroll<br />Blackmullet: Thanks snipe!<br />Thesniper: Welcome!<br />Thesniper heads down the stairs into the navigation room whilst Kyriel climbs down the rigging and looks at the scroll oddly.<br />Kyriel: I wonder what on earth Sea Wrath could be contacting you about.<br />Blackmullet: frowning at the scroll I could guess.<br />Zandroth: grabbing the scroll off Blackmullet No time for bring downs now! We’re all light hearted and Sea Wrath will just kill the mood.<br />Zandroth stuffs the scroll into her pocket and smiles. Blackmullet raises his eyebrows then turns back towards the navigation wheel.<br />Blackmullet: I think we’re almost ready to sail! Gruselda, are all riggers and sailors ready?<br />Gruselda: Aye, aye Mullet!<br />Blackmullet: Tubic, are all bilgers ready?<br />Tubic: Yup! Ready to be soaked!<br />Blackmullet: Skeggs, the carpenters?<br />Mrsskeggs: All tools at the ready!<br />Blackmullet: Then let’s go! Haul the anchor! We’re leaving Lima for Lonelywood Lagoon! YARRR!<br />All: YARRR!<br />Tune of Antheas plays as the screen fades out.<br />Act 1 Scene 3 – The Lima Docks<br />Kagan, Alivi and Msrambonette are standing at the docks of Lima looking out at the Grand Frigate deporting from the great docks. The three stand, not talking but just staring at the boat. Kagan breaks the silence.<br />Kagan: The scroll was received on time I hope?<br />Alivi: Yes Kagan, my parrot delivered it himself.<br />Kagan: sneering Good, then hopefully Blackmullet will learn his lesson. I am already quite bored of his “successful” pillages. If we ignore him then soon he will be even better than I. And that, my friends, will not be happening any time soon.<br />Alivi: Of course not Kagan.<br />Msrambonette: I still think you’re taking this far too seriously. He will never be as good as you so why do you even bother?<br />Kagan: Why? WHY? I’ll tell you Why! I don’t want my #1 ruined no matter how many people hate me for it. Blackmullet will never survive. Alivi... The victory song?<br />Alivi: yes Kagan, At once. I love this song!!!<br />To the Tune of “All That Jazz – Chicago” Alivi, Kagan, and a reluctant Msrambonette line up in the Lima docks and start shaking their shoulders. Dance routine of performers choice. <br /> We have won - song<br />Kagan: Not quite what I had in mind but still a perfectly legitimate excursion. He he he. Let’s go girls, we have work to do!<br />Alivi: I agree let’s go! If we exit now it makes us look good!<br />Kagan and Alivi walk off and Msrambonette sighs then trudges after them looking around at the inhabitants of Lima Dock as they returned to their conversations and laughing about random nonsense.<br />Act 1 Scene 4 – The navigation room<br />Tubic, Mrsskeggs and Gruselda are all sitting in the navigation chamber drinking mug upon mug of rum whilst looking over a large map of the viridian ocean. They all looked like they were having some problems working out just where they were going.<br />Tubic: I am definite we were heading for Lonelywood Lagoon five minutes ago.<br />Gruselda: We were and still are! Look here’s our ship (points to point on map) and there’s Lima. The chart obviously shows that the league points are here, here, here, here and here. We have just passed this first one and heading for the second. We are on course!<br />Tubic: hmmm I’m not sure because I’m definite that...<br />Mrsskeggs: Grus is right Tub! You just want to contradict everything.<br />Tubic: No serious! I’m sure there’s something wrong with that chart!<br />Skeggs and Grus: shouting There ISN’T<br />Psychopaul bursts into the room shortly followed by Rasdanx.<br />Tubic: Ras! I never knew you were on this ship!<br />Rasdanx: Just about all of Antheas is on this ship Tub and I am part of Antheas after all.<br />Tubic: erm yeah...<br />Psychopaul: This is urgent. Gruselda is there anything wrong with that chart? We’ve had rumour it has been tampered with.<br />Gruselda: staring at Tubic No... There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.<br />Psychopaul: May I see?<br /> Psychopaul studies the map with Rasdanx looking over his shoulder and Gruselda and Tubic looking closely at their facial expressions.<br />Psychopaul: HUH! There are five league points between Lonelywood and Lima here! There should only be four! Tubic! How could you not have noticed this? I expected better of you!<br />Tubic stares coldly at Gruselda who turns red and doesn’t make eye contact with him.<br />Mrsskeggs: Perhaps it’s just a misprint...?<br />Rasdanx: On Antheas’ finest map? I don’t think so!<br />Mrsskeggs: But I don’t get it! Why would someone swap the map? Is it someone’s idea of a joke? It seems utterly pointless to me.<br />Rasdanx: We’re not sure.<br />Psychopaul: Just be on the lookout we wouldn’t want anything going wrong on this voyage.<br />Gruselda: We always are. Have fun on your duties!<br />Psychopaul and Rasdanx exit the room leaving the three alone.<br />Mrsskeggs: Well that’s worrying. If the maps been switched then anything could be wrong with the map. How are we supposed to navigate home?<br />Gruselda: Don’t worry we have Mullet as our head navigator we’ll find our way there without any map.<br />Mrsskeggs: I hope you’re right.<br />light fades slowly whilst Tubic, leaning against a wall and Gruselda and Mrsskeggs worriedly whispering to each other.<br />Act 1 Scene 5 – The gamble chamber (lowest deck)<br />Macgreggor, Starwings, Barbacafe and Davidov are sitting at a poker table of the four sides. Davidov and Macgreggor both have gigantic piles of eight whilst Barbacafe and Starwings sit with small piles of eight. Macgreggor is looking more than proud with himself and Davidov is furrowing his eyebrows at his two cards. Starwings and Barbacafe look like they have basically already given up.<br />Macgreggor: I’ll cover your 500 PoE and raise you 2000.<br />Barbacafe: WHAT! That’s all I’ve got! Ugh.. I fold.<br />Davidov: staring into Macgreggor’s eyes I’ll cover and raise 5000.<br />Starwings: shell-shocked ... Fold...<br />Macgreggor: I’ll call that.<br />Macgreggor reaches over and flips over the river card. It reveals a 10. Davidov keeps a poker face whilst a slight smile curved over Macgreggor’s mouth.<br />Davidov: ... Check <br />Macgreggor: quickly I’ll raise 10,000<br />Davidov: I’ll cover and raise you 1 million.<br />Macgreggor: WHAT ON...! Fine.. All in.<br />All four players watch the cards intently as both characters place down their cards revealing Macgreggor having a flush and Davidov having a straight flush.<br />Davidov: OH YES!<br />Macgreggor: Dude... It’s only a friendly game right? Surely you could find it in your heart…?<br />Davidov: In your dreams Mac! This money is mine until you win it.<br />Macgreggor: annoyed, agitated Ugh!<br />Starwings: Hey David. You mind giving me and Barba some money. It’s not great being poor.<br />Davidov: Why of course Star! Making it obvious he’s saying it in Macgreggor’s face I always give money to my good friends in need.<br />Macgreggor: mumbling Evil. <br />David: Oh Mac don’t be mad! It happens!<br />Macgreggor: Not to me.<br />Barbacafe: That’s why Gruselda always tells everyone not to play poker. It’s the devil.<br />David: Yeah it’s not too bad Mac you’ll get your money back.<br />Macgreggor: Oh will I...<br />Music of “KT Tunstall – Suddenly I See” starts playing and Macgreggor kicks back his seat and gets up looking as angry as anything. The other three look at him with raised eyebrows and expressions which say “What on earth are you doing?”.<br /> Poker – song<br />Starwings and Barbacafe return their seats and look as if nothing ever happened whilst Davidov and Macgreggor stare at each other incredulously. At that point Kyriel walks into the room with one eyebrow raised.<br />Kyriel: What are you two doing? The boat left port over 5 minutes ago. I am ashamed that two senior officers would be sitting playing poker when all their other crew and flag mates were hauling their booty’s off.<br />Macgreggor: Huh! But what about...!<br />Macgreggor and Davidov both turn around to where Starwings and Barbacafe were sitting but they are nowhere to be seen.<br />David: But...<br />Macgreggor: Sorry Kyriel! We will get to our duties at once. Whispering Hurry up David.<br />The two of them hurry out of the room leaving Kyriel standing there whom the second they leave goes towards a pile of hemp.<br />Kyriel: You two get to work as well.<br />Starwings and Barbacafe jump out of the hemp and rush from the room. Kyriel sits by the poker table and picks up a chip and examines it then smiles and giggles a bit. <br />Kyriel: Gotta love shouting at people for no reason!<br />There was a knock at the door of the games room.<br />Kyriel: Come in?<br />The door swung open and Vivani walked in.<br />Vivani: Captain! I trust you’re doing well?<br />Kyriel: Very much so Vivani. How can I be of assistance?<br />Vivani: Panicky Blackmullet sent me to find you, three cannons just went off towards the docks on themselves! I witnessed it myself!<br />Kyriel raised and eyebrow and placed the poker chip firmly in her pocket<br />Kyriel: I see, was anyone near the cannons?<br />Vivani: No cap’n! I was the closest and I was at least a few metres away!<br />Kyriel: Thank you Viv, I will be up shortly.<br />Vivani nodded and turned towards the door.<br />Kyriel: Could you also alert the others that my Ky-senses are telling me we are slightly off course?<br />Vivani: giggling Of course!<br />Vivani exits and meets Rasdanx and Psychopaul as they come in.<br />Vivani: Excuse me!<br />Rasdanx: You are excused my fine lady!<br />Vivani giggles again as she quickly scampers off stage. Kyriel widens her eyes at Rasdanx expecting the worst.<br />Rasdanx: You were right m’lady. The map has either been switched or tampered with.<br />Kyriel: I see… Everything has to go wrong on Mullet’s most important pillage of all time musn’t it. Do we have any leads on who may have done this?<br />Rasdanx: We…<br />Psychopaul: Cutting in No. Our navigators did not even notice the map had been switched until we went in to check. A shameful bunch.<br />Kyriel: We do not talk that way of other flag members Paul. Thank you for the update, I may need your assistance again later.<br />Rasdanx and Psychopaul: Thank you m’lady.<br />They both exit.<br />Kyriel: Fake maps and self-firing cannons. I can only expect the worst…<br />Blackout<br />Act 1 Scene 6 – Grand Frigate Main Deck<br />Blackmullet and Zandroth are standing by the wheel, looking past the Grand Frigate to the wide ocean. They seem to be talking quietly about something.<br />Blackmullet: Isn’t it such a great day. We’ve been sailing almost fifteen minutes now! The seas have been calm. This voyage should be smooth. <br />Zandroth: smiling Yes... I’m sure it will be!<br />Blackmullet reaches for Zandroth’s hand but when his hand touches hers she drags hers away quickly. She immediately turns bright red then so does Blackmullet and they both stand in silence. Zandroth fidgets around a bit then notices a rustle coming from her pocket. She reaches in and finds the scroll.<br />Zandroth: shocked The scroll from Sea Wrath! I completely forgot about it. Should we open it?<br />Blackmullet’s face immediately turns serious and he gently takes back the scroll.<br />Blackmullet: I…<br />He stared at the scroll, not making a move to open it.<br />Zandroth: Well look, we don’t need to open it! We have hours left of this journey we may aswell make the best of this voyage. <br />Zandroth reclaims the scroll and puts it in her booty. <br />Blackmullet: You sure it’ll be safe there?<br />Zandroth: Yeah it’s warm and soft, not very wet and I cleaned it just yesterday! No harm will come to it there!<br />Blackmullet raised his eyebrow<br />Blackmullet: That’s what she said.<br />Zandroth: Oh shut up!<br />Vivani rushes in cursing at the steps she had just tripped over. When she notices Zandroth and Blackmullet her agigation turns into excitement.<br />Vivani: I told her mates, she’ll be up soon!<br />Blackmullet: Great work Viv!<br />Blackmullet made a heart sign with his two thumbs and index fingers and Vivani imitated this shape. Vivani noticed the awkward way Zandroth and Mullet stood.<br />Vivani: Did I miss something?<br />Blackmullet: Nothing to worry about that’s for sure, let’s just enjoy the sun!<br />Asweetasugar calls down from the crows nest<br />Asweetasugar: Mullet there’s an incoming ship heading straight for us. <br />Blackmullet: How far away is it?<br />Asweetasugar: Maybe five minutes! It’s a war frigate flying the green flag, looks about average difficulty.<br />Blackmullet: Perfect! Load the guns! Prepare for battle!<br />Several pirates ran around in a panic but Blackmullet easily controlled them and they were soon settled in positions.<br />Vivani: You sure we can take that thing?<br />Blackmullet: Only one way to find out! Carpenters? Bilgers? Sailors? Gunners?<br />Everyone: Aye Aye!<br />Blackmullet wraps his fingers around the navigation wheel and stares out at the looming war frigate. <br />Blackmullet: Man the rigs, watch for that rock! I need more carpenters! Come on you lazers! You’re not doing any good there!<br />Asweetasugar: Thirty seconds<br />Blackmullet: All cannons loaded?<br />Zandroth: Aye Mullet!<br />Blackmullet: Grappling rope configured?<br />Tubic: Mhm…<br />Blackmullet: Plank polished?<br />Gruselda: Most certainly!<br />Asweetasugar: shouting In firing range!<br />Blackmullet: ATTACK!<br />The cannons of the grand frigate blasted towards the war frigate and four hit dead on. The war frigate manouvers to the right of the ship and shoots two large cannonballs which hit directly in the hull. <br />Blackmullet: Carpenters start patching up! Bilgers… well… BILGE!<br />The Antheans started working twice as hard to stop the ship from filling with water. The war frigate shot another four cannons, three of which hit the grand frigate. It lurched to one side and almost tipped over.<br />Blackmullet: Wow there boy! What happened?<br />Tubic: Sorryyy!!! Got a bit too much water aboard, we’re working on it!<br />The Grand Frigate swerves to the hull of the war frigate and fires twelve cannons directly into the hull.<br />Blackmullet: Yarr! In for the grapple! Prepare the rope!<br />Several pirates bustle towards the rope, lifting it and ready to throw. The war frigate begins to tip backwards, weighted by the water and damage and it latched onto the side.<br />Blackmullet: Amazing work mates! Careful when crossing the rope, we don’t need any pirates dead on this voyage!<br />Pirate music plays and the pirates all start tight-rope walking over the grapple line. In the background, the scenery is changing. The boat’s paint turns from aqua and white to gold and black and other pirates (who will be the ones changing the scenery) begin to run onto the deck preparing for battle. The Antheans all go to stage left whilst the brigands all run to stage right.<br />Blackmullet: Surrender now or be slaughtered!<br />Khoney (Barbarian Captain): Oh my dear! I believe you’re the ones getting slaughtered today!<br />Blackmullet: Khoney???<br />Khoney: I’d thought I’d come out and have a little fun when I heard about this pillage! I have a few friends of my own you know!<br />Blackmullet tensed and held his falchion on front of him. <br />Blackmullet: This doesn’t change anything!<br />Khoney: Naturally! <br />Khoney unsheathed her Skull Dagger from its holder and levelled it on front of her.<br />Blackmullet and Khoney: ATTACK!<br />The two crews draw together, their swords clashing and clanging against eachother. Ten members of Khoney’s crew were immediately insta’d and knocked out but the Antheans were only just ahead. Tubic ran forward and started defending Gruselda who had been ganged up upon.<br />Tubic: Oy you rufans! Don’t attack the woman who helps me with my German homework!<br />Gruselda: Thank ye Tubic but I don’t need your help. I’m perfectly fine on my own!<br />Gruselda gently pushes Tubic and he instantly falls to the ground and starts rolling around like a puppy. Gruselda giggled before continuing her fight, smacking one unsuspecting victim by the hilt when they were staring at Tubic rolling around on the floor. <br />Blackmullet: Zandroth, cover me a minute?<br />Zandroth: Most certainly!<br />Zandroth takes Blackmullet’s place in battle and Blackmullet sneaks away taking the rolling Tubic and Mrsskeggs with him below decks to try and find the booty chest.<br />Asweetasugar: Death update! Khoney: 32/75, Blackmullet: 43/125<br />Khoney: parrying attacks How could you possibly know that?<br />Asweetasugar tapped her nose before spinning round with her sword outstretched, slicing two members of Khoney’s crew to the ground.<br />Asweetasugar: winking Make that 30!<br />Throw a Slice, Throw a Slash – Song<br />Everyone collapses apart from Khoney, Zandroth, Vivani, Asweetasugar and Gruselda. <br />Khoney: No fair! That’s four on one! You’ve slaughtered my entire crew!<br />The other 4 close in on Khoney.<br />Zandroth: You said you were ready.<br />Khoney: Well yeah but that’s because it fit in with the song!<br />Asweetasugar: Quite.<br />Asweetasugar brings her sword down on Khoney and she falls to the ground, dead.<br />Gruselda: WOHOO!!! Well done everyone!<br />Zandroth: That was great! Who’s collecting the booty?<br />Blackmullet: That would be us! <br />Blackmullet, Mrsskeggs and Tubic come out from the hold carrying tons of items and PoE. Tubic looks around carefully.<br />Tubic: Wait a second… NO! YOU’RE KIDDING ME!? I MISSED THE BRITNEY SPEARS TOXIC COVER? OH MY ACTUAL GOD!<br />Gruselda: Awwww we’re sorry Tubby.<br />Gruselda walked over and huggled Tubic before gently pushing him and he started rolling around the deck. Khoney and the other crew members began to pick themselves up off the ground, moaning and groaning in pain and barely able to stand.<br />Khoney: One of these days I fear these battles may actually blow my mind! That’s going to happen before I die knowing this mechanism. <br />Blackmullet: No hard feelings K?<br />Khoney: None… Thanks for the fun Mullet! See ya around!<br />Khoney flicks her hand and Khoney’s crew rush to the back and turn the scenery back to the grand frigate before swirling off. The crew members from the grand frigate crash to the ground.<br />Zandroth: She ALWAYS does that! Does she not know we can walk off ourselves?<br />Tubic: And that is not even half of what we carried up those four flights of stairs!<br />Tubic scowls and points over to the considerably small pile of booty. Blackmullet laughs.<br />Blackmullet: Come on! Let’s get this boat repaired, Zanny and I are gonna go down to the hold to make sure nothings leaking! Tubic, you’re in charge.<br />Tubic: Aye aye Mullet!<br />Blackmullet: whispering Don’t make me regret this.<br />Tubic: Me? Regret? Nahhh, I’m a perfectly trustworthy person!<br />Tubic turns towards the crew and waits until Blackmullet and Zandroth are walking down the stairs towards the hold.<br />Tubic: Ok! So who knows any Legally Blonde songs?!<br />The crew groans. Blackout.<br />Act 1 Scene 7 – The Hold<br />Aaronmann is roaming around the ships hold making sure everything is in order and no crates of limes had fallen down or kegs of rum burst open. He is whistling the tune of “Kansas – Dust in the wind”. Then the actual tune starts playing. As Aaronmann sings this song he should be moving slowly around checking all the crates with an almost dreamy look on his face. He is in the place he loves.<br /> Safe in the hold – Song<br />Aaronmann continues searching round. Zandroth comes into the room.<br />Zandroth: Aaronmann, is there any severe holes down here?<br />Aaronmann: I can think of one very large hole…<br />Zandroth: Don’t you start, I get enough of that from Mullet!<br />Blackmullet rushes into the room and crashes right into a crate of limes. The crate of limes falls over sending limes sprawling all over the place.<br />Aaronmann: angry MULLET!!!<br />Blackmullet: embarrassed Sorry... Zanny runs far too fast. I can never catch up.<br />Zandroth: Why aren’t you manning the navigation wheel?<br />Blackmullet: I got Tubic to take over for a few minutes.<br />Zandroth: raising an eyebrow You got... Tubic ... to take over the wheel?<br />Aaronmann: That’s mean.<br />Zandroth: I know I do show my evil side at times.<br />They all laugh then Aaronmann looks down at the limes.<br />Aaronmann: The limes...<br />Blackmullet: What about the limes?<br />Aaronmann: They have bite marks in them! Someone or something has been eating them!<br />Zandroth: Oh no! Look! There in the crate!<br />They all look into the now limeless crate and see a bunch of rats. There was a big hole in the bottom of the crate where the gnaw marks were obvious in the wood.<br />Aaronmann: WAHH!<br />Aaronmann opens other boxes of limes and finds the same result. The boat suddenly tilts to starboard like it was being pulled down.<br />Zandroth: What was that???<br />Blackmullet: I’m going back up to the main deck to make sure everything’s fine there.<br />Blackmullet runs out of the room. Zandroth is about to follow him when she notices Aaronmann staring at the door to the secondary hold. Water is leaking through from beneath the door. Aaronmann walks towards the door and unlocks it with his key and pulls it open. Floods upon floods of water smashes into him from the secondary vault which had filled up to the brim with water.<br />Zandroth: AARONMANN...!<br />The water then hits Zandroth as well as loads of rats are floating around in the water trying to scamper away.<br />Aaronmann: Ugh! Those horrid rats! They’ve gnawed the wood, the cannon balls must’ve hit and made hols which the rats just increased the size of!<br />They both pick themselves up off the ground and try to shake off the water and squeeze it out from their clothes.<br />Zandroth: Was anything being held in the secondary hold?<br />Aaronmann: Just most of the other fruit. The rum and cannonballs are held in the hold at the other side of the ship.<br />Zandroth: We need to get the bilgers and carpenters in here! The water’s everywhere and it’s still flooding in!<br />Aaronmann: You go get them, I’ll stay here to try to stop the water coming in. Quick! Time is running out!<br />Zandroth rushes out of the hold as Aaronmann tries to put wooden crates on the hole. A clock appears on the back of the stage ticking. Carpenters and bilgers shuffle in and start working on the damage. Zandroth and Kyriel walk in and stand discussing the problem and Aaronmann is sitting in the corner looking like he’d seen a ghost. The clock fades and music for I Heard begins. The bilgers (Caseyz and Grandmista) and the carpenters (Juah, Mrsskeggs) are all working at a fast pace. A major amount of the water has gone and the hole, although still visible, is almost patched up. The workers are gossiping whilst they work.<br />Song – I Heard<br />Kyriel: You four! Get to work! I expect better of you.<br />The four of them snigger as Kyriel turns back to Zandroth.<br />Kyriel: sighing I know something’s wrong when my own crew members won’t listen to me.<br />Zandroth: Oh Kyriel! It’ll be ok! Things like that happen to everyone at the best of times.<br />Kyriel: You’re right! Of course... I just can’t shake the feeling...<br />Aaronmannn suddenly gets up and hurries out of the room.<br />Kyriel: Oh poor Aaron... He must be having a hard time this hold meant everything to him.<br />Zandroth: Do you think I should go and make sure he’s ok?<br />Kyriel: I think he wants to be alone currently, We should give him his time. The bilge waters almost gone... This was a lucky escape. We found the hold just in time otherwise it could have leaked in and it would have been too late to do anything about it.<br />Kyriel picks up a crab that was scuttling along the ground<br />Kyriel: Aren’t sea creatures wonderful. It’s like the sea is calling to us with a passion yet most of us ignore it. The artistic talents that pirates ignore is spectacular.<br />Zandroth: How poetic...<br />Kyriel: He he, anyway we better get back up to the main deck, They’ll be wondering where we are.<br />Zandroth: Errr, I think I’ll stay here to watch over the jobbers.<br />Kyriel: Oh? Ok then! I’ll be on the main deck if you need me.<br />Kyriel exits the room leaving Zandroth and the workers in the room. She watches the jobbers for a second then sighs and sits where Aaronmannn had sat earlier. <br />Mrsskeggs: Zanny, could I have one of those uneaten limes?<br />Zandroth: mesmerized Go ahead.<br />Mrsskeggs runs up to the crate then notices Zandroth’s gloominess.<br />Mrsskeggs: Is everything ok?<br />Zandroth: Hm? Oh yes yes, it’s fine. Just a hard first battle can sometimes down the morale.<br />Mrsskeggs: We won didn’t we? That’s the main thing!<br />Zandroth: Sometimes winning isn’t the most important factor.<br />Mrsskeggs gave Zandroth a worried look then returned to her carpentry station.<br />Mrsskeggs: Zandroth doesn’t seem very happy right now.<br />Juah: I heard she stole Kyriel’s cake! Maybe she got tortured!<br />Mrsskeggs: critically Something tells me that’s not the case Juah…<br />Juah: Whatever…<br />Grandmista: Maybe she’s just tired.<br />Mrsskeggs: I’ve never seen her tired on a voyage! We’re barely twenty minutes in!<br />Caseyz: Leave her to it, Probably jet lag.<br />Mrsskeggs: Yeh you’re right… Wait a second! You can’t get jet lag from Lima to Lonelywood Lagoon!<br />Everyone snickers at Mrsskeggs dumbstruck face and the lights fade down. <br />Act 1 Scene 8 – Grand Frigate Main Deck<br />The flag members are all in a big circle around Tubic, Gruselda and Thesniper as Tubic is clinging onto Thesniper’s leg whilst rolling around on the ground. Thesniper is screaming for mercy whilst Gruselda is trying to break them apart through her tears of laughter. The whole flag is also laughing their heads off in the circle bar Blackmullet who was less intent on Tubic rolling around and more so on getting everyone back to their stations before the ship sank. He stood at the wheel continuously shouting orders that no’one listened to.<br />Thesniper: Get him off me! Get him OFF!<br />Gruselda: Ha ha ha ha, Tubic get off!!!<br />Gruselda tugs at Tubic but he doesn’t budge.<br />Blackmullet: Guys! Come on get to your stations<br />*Blackmullet needs more pirates to do Carpentry**Blackmullet needs more pirates to do Sailing**Blackmullet needs more pirates to do Bilging**Blackmullet needs more pirates to STATION!*<br />Thesniper: Seriously get this thing off of me!<br />Tubic: frowning Who are you calling a thing.<br />Thesniper: I’ll tell you who I’m calling a thing! YOU! Now get the FLIP off me!<br />Tubic: Say please.<br />Thesniper: Please!<br />Tubic: Still no.<br />Gruselda: TUBIC!<br />Thesniper’s face turns from angry to plain fierce. Gruselda backs away at the sight of the face and Tubic almost lets go in shock. Music to Broken Heels starts.<br /> Enough – Song<br />The whole cast freezes (bar Tubic and Thesniper who don’t break eye contact) and turns towards Kyriel. The crowd and Kyriel stare at each other for about 4 seconds then Gruselda breaks the silence.<br />Gruselda: Well I warned you all did I not?<br />Gruselda walks off quickly and Kyriel let’s her go as she keeps her gaze on everyone else.<br />Kyriel: almost growling You can all get back to your stations. Tubic, Thesniper in the navigation room please.<br />Tubic and Thesniper now obviously avoiding each other head towards the cabin. As Kyriel walks after them she stops and looks up at Blackmullet who is still standing at the navigation wheel.<br />Kyriel: kindly Would you mind coming in to please Mullet dear?<br />Blackmullet: ‘course Ky!<br />Kyriel grabs Blackmullet’s arm as he walks past and he turns to face her.<br />Kyriel: concerned You do know that if there’s anything wrong you can always talk to me about it ok?<br />Blackmullet: smiling reassuringly Yeah Ky! I’ve always known that!<br />Blackmullet heads on into the cabin with Kyriel staring doubtfully at him.<br />Kyriel: Whispering to herself If only he knew.<br />She follows him into the cabin and shuts the door behind her. The wheel is left unmanned and the crew members immediately abandon their stations.<br />Gulk: I dare you to turn the navigation wheel!<br />Tobyna: Are you kidding me? I did it ten minutes ago and the whole ship almost sunk! Plus I can’t navigate.<br />Gulk: Sure you can, you went on the navy to navigate just a few days ago.<br />Tobyna: How did you…<br />Gulk: No matter. All you need to do is turn the wheel!<br />Tobyna breathed a sigh and ran up towards the navigation wheel. She reached out to it.<br />Tobyna: I’m going to regret this.<br />She turned the wheel round several times and the entire ship jolted to the starboard and everyone fell from their stations and flew down to the back of the ship.<br />Tobyna: Darnit!<br />Gulk: I told you to do nothing! <br />Tobyna: Gulk, you’re an idiot.<br />Kyriel rushed out of the cabin closely followed by Blackmullet, Thesniper and Tubic.<br />Kyriel: What on earth was that?<br />Tobyna: defencively Gulk made me!<br />Gulk: Mock horror Did not!<br />Tobyna shoots Gulk an irritated look.<br />Tobyna: Sorry mullet, Ky! I don’t know what I was thinking!<br />Blackmullet rushes back to the wheel and turns it a few times and the ship levels out with a crash of waves. Kyriel turns to Thesniper and Tubic.<br />Kyriel: Keep what I said in mind, I expect better of you two. <br />She walks up beside Blackmullet breathing a sigh,<br />Kyriel: Ah, the fresh sea air!<br />Blackmullet: sarcastically Did you hear the cannon shots last night?<br />The crew bursts into a flurry of “Ahoys, Did you hear the cannon shots last nights, Thank ye’s” And whatever F keys they randomly press. Blackmullet bursts out laughing,<br />Kyriel: Now look what you’ve started!<br />Blackmullet: Love you Ky!<br />Blackmullet forms a heart shape with his fingers and Kyriel laughs and returns the symbol. He bounces around.<br />Blackmullet: Alright guys I think it’s time for a song! Any suggestions?<br />Tobyna: Oh oh! Where’s Tubic?<br />Tubic: Right beside you.<br />Tobyna turns to see Tubic right beside her,<br />Tobyna: Oh! Sorry xD But we should sing that cover of Holding Out For A Hero! I know you love that one!<br />Tubic: OMG I adore that song! Can we Mullet can we?<br />Blackmullet: Sure thing! Everyone know it?<br />Everyone nodds or ‘yarrs’ their agreement and Tubic hops up beside Blackmullet and Kyriel with Tobyna close behind him.<br />Tobyna: Fast beat or musical version?<br />Blackmullet: I’m in the mood for the musical version! Anyone seen the orchestra?<br />The curtain opens behind the scene and an orchestra is sitting waiting to play. <br />Blackmullet: Perfect! You ready Shiby?<br />Shiby (Conductor): Yessir!<br />It’s an Australian – Song<br />Kyriel: Erm… Has anyone noticed how offensive that song is?<br />Blackmullet: Aw chillax Ky! It’s just for the lols, Australians rock!<br />Tubic: Quite!<br />Tubic jumps down over the railings to the deck, <br />Tubic: Is it a break yet?<br />Blackmullet: Taken aback That was your break! You weren’t puzzling! <br />Tubic: Aw darnit! That sucks… Very well! Bilgers, back to bilging!<br />Tubic walks away whistling ‘It’s an Australian’. Everyone stares in awe at him as he walks off stage.<br />Tobyna: I always hang around Tubic and I still can never fully understand him. <br />Blackmullet: Right everyone back to yer stations! Time is running out!<br />A clock appears on the back of the stage ticking.<br />Kyriel: We have a time limit?<br />Blackmullet: Nah I just… Erm… I don’t know, I just felt like saying that.<br />Kyriel: raising an eyebrow Suit yourself Mullet, I’ll go help the riggers. Can’t say I’ll do much good though!<br />Blackmullet: Every little helps! <br />Kyriel looked at Blackmullet critically,<br />Kyriel: Asda is better.<br />Blackmullet: play agitated NO IT IS NOT!<br />Kyriel runs away before Blackmullet can catch her and finds a rigging station. Blackmullet laughs and leans against the navigation wheel. A shadow appears behind him. He notices and turns but the shadow has disappeared.<br />Blackmullet: What an odd pilly!<br />Tobyna: Pillage<br />Blackmullet noticed Tobyna still standing a bit away from him.<br />Blackmullet: Pilly!<br />Tobyna: Pillage!!! Pilly reminds me of paracetamel or something, please its pillage!<br />Blackmullet: Alright Tobyna. Let’s continue on this pillage.<br />Tobyna smiles and begins to walk away,<br />Blackmullet: Pilly.<br />Tobyna spins around.<br />Tobyna: I HEARD THAT!<br />Blackout<br />Act 1, Scene 9 – Tubic’s On-board study<br />Tubic is sitting at his desk over a piece of parchment. He is holding a quill and scribbling random lines down. Zandroth walks in.<br />Zandroth: How did I know you would be here?<br />Tubic jumps<br />Zandroth: Shouldn’t you be bilging? You ARE the head bilger!<br />Tubic: No stations were free, and I completely rely on Gruselda to be sensible!<br />Zandroth: flickering a smile This is so you, what are you writing?<br />Tubic: You know the Britney Spears mash-up? The Chris Cox Megamix?<br />Zandroth: Eyes piercing You mean the one that won’t be released for hundreds of years?<br />Tubic: Oh give it a rest, We can get into the atlantic ocean if you take a right between Viridian and Hunter! You can get into the pacific ocean if you go into that whirlpool between Sage and Opal. Some say there’s even a way in the Opal Ocean to go straight to a lake in Germany but I’ve never found it. I can only go to Opal with Gruselda so she can be my translator.<br />Zandroth stares at Tubic for a minute,<br />Tubic: Well how else do we know about the Australians? And Britney Spears?<br />Zandroth continues to stare,<br />Tubic: And how we have modern instruments in our orchestra upstairs? And this?<br />Tubic removes an aqua and white ipod from his pocket and takes the headphones out. Zandroth’s eyes widen,<br />Zandroth: Tubic you can’t have those!<br />Tubic: How else do I write songs?<br />Zandroth: I don’t care you can’t use them, get rid of them now! Call yourself a pirate?<br />Tubic: Alright I’ll get rid of it later.<br />Tubic slips the device into his pocket.<br />Zandroth: Promise?<br />Tubic crosses his fingers behind his back and smiles,<br />Tubic: Promise! <br />Zandroth: sighing Why do I not believe you for a second?<br />Tubic doesn’t answer but instead returns to his scroll,<br />Tubic: To your former question, I’m writing new lyrics for that megamix, I intend to perform it before the end of this pillage!<br />Zandroth: You haven’t got long.<br />Tubic: I don’t need long! Anyway, I suppose you wanted to talk to me about something?<br />Zandroth: Shaking herself slightly Yes! I think the ship is being sabotaged. <br />Tubic: Ok<br />Zandroth: We had hardly any rats on board when I checked the hold just yesterday and we got a letter from Sea Wrath!<br />Tubic: Ok<br />Zandroth: We haven’t opened it yet but I’m sure it can’t be good!<br />Tubic: Ok<br />Zandroth Aren’t you going to react?<br />Tubic: Ok<br />Zandroth glares at him, he is sitting writing the scroll! She leans forwards and pulls the headphones out of his ears.<br />Zandroth: You little sneak! How did you even put them in? I saw you put it in your pocket!<br />Tubic taps his nose.<br />Zandroth: You’re hopeless… Have you seen anyone acting strangely aboard? Or something not quite right? <br />Tubic: Sure<br />Zandroth: What?<br />Tubic: There’s a time bomb in the booty chest. I can hear it ticking.<br />Zandroth: Oh haha very funny, just tell me if you find anything suspicious ok?<br />Tubic: Sure thing.<br />Zandroth exits the study and Tubic looks up raising an eyebrow.<br />Tubic: Suit yourself.<br />He continued to write lyrics as the lights begin to fade.<br />Tubic: HOLD IT!<br />The lights stop fading and rise to full again.<br />Tubic: Aiming at audience Just for the record, I’m addicted to you. Don’t you know that you’re Toxic?<br />Blackout.<br />Act 1, Scene 10 – Grand Frigate main deck<br />It is a split stage, the captains cabin is covering most of stage right whilst the Grand Frigate covers the rest of the stage. Blackmullet is at the wheel, everyone is working. Zandroth walks up to the wheel and taps Blackmullet on the shoulder. <br />Zandroth: Mullet do you have a second?<br />Blackmullet: Turning to Zandroth Sure Zanny, what’s up?<br />Zandroth: We have reason to believe this ship has been sabotaged. I’m sure it has something to do with Sea Wrath. I think we should get Kyriel and go somewhere private to open that scroll. It could be vital. <br />Blackmullet: Ok sure, the ships on steady course so we should be fine for a few minutes. Raising voice Kyriel! Could you come in here a minute?<br />Kyriel: Certainly!<br />They all walk into the captains cabin and the lights go down on the grand frigate and rise on the captains cabin.<br />Zandroth: Ky we got a scroll from Sea Wrath. Sorry for not telling you but we didn’t want anyone worrying! We didn’t want to open it but we decided under the circumstances it was best to do so now.<br />Kyriel: Quite… This voyage has been rather odd I must say. <br />Zandroth removes the scroll from her booty bag and passes it to Blackmullet, their fingers touch for a second and they stare at eachother. Kyriel coughs. Blackmullet immediately takes the scroll and unfurls the crimson ribbon that was attached to it. He unfurls it slowly. And he reads it.<br />Zandroth: What does it say?<br />Blackmullet: It… it says…<br />Kyriel: Go on Mullet!<br />Blackmullet: It says ‘Time is running out’.<br />The scene switches over to the grand frigate. At once Gulk steps out from a carpentry station where he had been pretending to mend a crack by the crow’s nest.<br />Gulk: They’re gone! Come on! Let’s go see what’s happening down below!<br />Tobyna: But what about the ship? We can’t just abandon all our stations!<br />Gulk: People do it in SMHs all the time! It’s no big deal! <br />Tobyna: 45% of SMHs sink!<br />Gulk: Where did you get that statistic? I don’t have time for this. Stay here if you want but I’m going down.<br />Tobyna: You’re such an idiot. <br />Gulk: Whatever.<br />Gulk climbed down the hatch followed by almost every other jobber on the deck leaving Tobyna alone. She sighed and moved back to her station helplessly trying to get the ship to move. Then something caught her eye. She turned around and saw something scuttling across the floor.<br />Tobyna: surprised A crab! Come here little crabby.<br />Tobyna kneels down and holds her hands out for the crab to climb it. The crab awkwardly climbs into her hands.<br />Tobyna: cooing Aren’t you a cute one.<br />Tobyna looked at the crab before noticing that it was changing colour. The crab turned from red to purple then to blue. She dropped it with a gasp and backed up against the rigging.<br />Tobyna: What on...<br />Tobyna was cut short when a bubbling blotch of purple venom was shot right into the middle of her right hand. She stared in horror as the purple venom sank in and created a perfectly round black dot in the centre of her palm. A black and purple figure laughs from the back of the stage. Tobyna screams. The scene goes dark but you can still hear her screams of pain. Her screams of pain mingle with screams of rage coming from Kagan. The scene lights up with Kagan sitting at a long table with Alivi standing at his side. The room is bright with a large window. It looks like the home of someone very rich with lots of fancy furniture. Kagan looks almost like a zombie in complete rage.<br />Kagan: NOT SUNK!? What do you mean NOT SUNK?<br />Alivi: I’m afraid sir, they have workers more elite then we imagined. They had the mess cleaned up in a matter of minutes. Also they discovered our rats early so it wasn’t able to do nearly as much damage as we wished. We always knew there was a chance of our plan failing with her on board m’lord.<br />Kagan: deathly This is NOT good. Not good at all. What about our backup plan?<br />Alivi: A creeping smile came showed on her face We already put it into action m’lord.<br />Kagan: his face brightening Goood. Very good indeed! Oh Alivi we’re back in power! That ship is in guaranteed danger! We’ve done it again my dear Alivi, we’ve done it again! Now we can sit back and watch as it happens! They don’t stand a chance! That ship will never port at Lonelywood Lagoon. Oh wonderful days, Alivi, wonderful days!<br /> We Have Won – Reprise<br />A laugh surges around the whole audience. The music abruptly stops and the royals of Sea Wrath look around.<br />Kagan: What is this? Who are you?<br />As the stage goes into blackout purple and black spotlights fly over the audience with a penetrating black and purple strobe light. <br />Voice: If a ship attacks a ship of significant lower ability there is a chance the pursuer will be intercepted by the Black Ship. If a pirate attacks another pirate at disadvantage in any way there is a chance the pursuer will be put in the same situation. You have brought this upon yourself!<br />Kagan: No! Not you! Alivi we must go!<br />Alivi: shaking the doors M’lord the doors are locked<br />Msrambonette: What have you done Kagan? I warned you!<br />Alivi: Don’t blame him!<br />Kagan: Shut up everyone! We’re doomed, we have no other choice!<br />The scene turns into a large gusting hurricane and the strobe lights get stronger. Thunder and lightning crashes and strikes. The voice laughs and all the furniture spins off being replaced by the grand frigate. A clock appears, ticking the seconds away.<br />Kagan: NO! You can’t! You don’t understand what you’re doing!<br />The voice surged with laughter one final time then all the lights shut off and return to the normal set of the grand frigate. The clock slowly disappears. Kagan looked around.<br />Kagan: We can’t be…<br />Hurricanes: Kagan this isn’t…<br />Kyriel, Blackmullet and Zandroth burst out of the captains cabin and find themselves confronted by the royals of Sea Wrath standing on the grand frigate.<br />Kyriel: What is this? How did you get aboard?<br />Tubic and Tobyna run up the stairs closely followed by Gulk.<br />Blackmullet: Where are all the workers?<br />Tobyna: That was Gulk, but listen the sea’s getting choppy! We’re approaching a storm!<br />She pointed and sure enough there was a large storm cloud right up ahead.<br />Zandroth: That wasn’t there a few minutes ago!<br />Kagan: Of course it wasn’t you fools, this isn’t any natural storm and it isn’t the worst of our problems! We were teleported here by a force stronger than any of us. We will all die if we do not act soon!<br />Zandroth: Why should we believe you? It was you who placed the rats there wasn’t it!<br />Alivi: The rats were just for fun, our bigger plan will destroy every one of us, and painfully!<br />Kyriel: What is it?<br />Msrambonette: A time bomb! We hid it in your booty chest.<br />Everyone froze. Zandroth raised an eyebrow.<br />Zandroth: You must be kidding me.<br />Tubic: Well I did tell you…<br />Zandroth: I hate you Tubic!<br />Kyriel: We must disarm it!<br />No’one moved.<br />Alivi: It’s too late! It goes off in, checks her watch a minute! <br />Blackmullet: shouting Wh… What? WORKERS GET UP HERE!<br />All the workers quickly ran up and went back to their stations looking scared as hell.<br />Tobyna: What kind of heartless fools are you?<br />Kagan: Fighting a smile Sea Wrath<br />Tobyna lurches forward and tries to attack Kagan but Kyriel pulls her back.<br />Kyriel: We have bigger problems on our hands!<br />Alivi: Forty seconds!<br />There was a rumble of thunder and lightning hit the decks sending a banner on fire. Rain pounded the deck and quickly put it out but more fires were being created around the ship. Blackmullet ran up to the navigation wheel.<br />Blackmullet: This is a horrible storm!<br />Kagan stares at the storm.<br />Kagan: Doomed…<br />Alivi: Twenty-Five seconds!<br />Blackmullet: We’re well into the storm now! We don’t stand a chance!<br />A clock appears on the back of the ship counting down, twenty-two, twenty-one, twenty…<br />Zandroth: We need to call them, we have no other choice! <br />Blackmullet: We can’t, we promised ourselves we wouldn’t!<br />Kyriel: We don’t have a choice! <br />Alivi: Fifteen seconds!<br />Kyriel rips an amulet from around her neck and holds it up. <br />Kyriel: From Viridian to Hunter we call, Save us now or forever we fall!<br />For three fatal seconds nothing happens, then a massive lightning bolt smashes down on the boat and from the ceiling three platforms begin to lower down in big rainbow arcs. The clock stops ticking. All sounds stop. Everyone stares up at the three figure on the platforms. Music begins, to the tune of ‘its raining men’.<br />The Protection Squad – Song<br />There is two massive strikes of lightning and an explosion. Blackout. Curtains close.<br /> <br />