1. BY SAURAV GUPTA
Page 1
THE DARK AND DEBATABLE REALITY ON AND OF
MEN….
I came across various article on feminine and heteronormative section of our society
which was very appealing. Some of them were mass awakening, some were prolific,
some were terrific, some were stupendous, some were heart touching,some were
adorable, some were astounding, and some were fascinating while few were
prodigious…. PHEEWWWW !!! To begin with, the following article is not in
contradiction with any of the article written on susceptible matters. The following
article does not promote patriarchy, patriarchism or patriarchate in any mean
whatsoever. It simply recognizesa natural gender connoted as MEN. Article on MEN is
generally subordinated.They are considered too unsubstantial. Prevailingmassacres,
crucifixions, persecutionson my effeminate crony is a matter of sincere condolence.
It’s a subject of solace for masculine tier as well. A newspaper headlining,“GIRL GOT
GANGRAPED, GIRLS SUCCUMBED TO HARASSED, and GIRLS DEPRIVED OF
THEIR HUMAN RIGHT….” gives us an irksome feeling. Men too feel the sense of
resentment, rankling and despondency seeping inside their blood and brain when they
come across articles, news,publications or reporting which manifests the degrading
sense of humanity among us. REAL MEN ARE NOT MISOGYNISTS AND REAL
WOMEN ARE NOT MISANDRY. With respect and sympathy to my feminine crony who
come across various ordeals put forward by male counterparts, I came up with a
whack to express the fact that even men are marginalized.
Yes! Marking my words again, EVEN men are marginalized. Sounds like a cognitive
dissonance but it holds true. All my masculine chum will agree to the fact that even
we are marginalized and kept deprived of boons at some point of time or the other. On
failure to stand in queue on time, boys are forced to struggle hard to sneak in between
their friends. No one pushed two boys to and fro to make a space as they do for girls.
Until and unless a boy has an aristocratic look, he will never come across a love letter
all written for him exclusively. It’s always boys, who are compelled to break the ice
first to get his love interest. Is it that the girl is never in love with anyone at the very
first instance, until and unlessbeing approached? Our mathematics professor was
never lenient when it came to distributing marks unlike those to our effeminate crony.
Home tutor always had a universally accepted (or maybe traditional myth) and
bourgeois words of motivation for boys, quoted as ‘If you are a boy work hard. Girls
will marry and go but you will have to drive the financial burden of your entire house.’
Dad was like, “Study or else no girl will tie a knot with you.” Starting our day at 10A.M
sharp and some even before that and concluding our work by 8pm or even beyond
that distress men too. On our to and fro commutation to the desired work place
location and then back home after total drainage of energy, we are at times not given
any room to have a blissful and soulful ride. Indian transport ministry has been kind
enough to present an award of delinquency to men. Name any commuting transport
which has an imprested signboard signaling ‘SEATS FOR MEN’? Answer none.Though
I am in a favor of not having any exclusive reserved seat or an imprested signboard for
any of the gender (except for disabled and senior citizen) as it encourages the Indian

2. BY SAURAV GUPTA
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mentality that the other gender is a foreign and discrete body but in case you are in
India you will find name plate imprested as ‘LADIES ONLY’ in a public transport. Boss
was never polite to us for our oversights. We have been the ditch for tantrums,
outbursts, tempers, angers, animosity and huffs of our senior or ruling bodies be it
bosses, heads, managers, team leads, grandfathers, fathers , wives and in extreme
cases girlfriends. Be it being a dumping ground of emotions for wives or managing
mood swings of girlfriends, count on us. Wife had a spat with her close friend over the
phone for two straight long hours and you realize that you are served a salt mixed tea
for the same. Traditional and cultural stigma has always inculcated the word
STRUGGLE in our genes. Struggle or you will not be able to pass. Struggle or else you
are not getting a proper job. Struggle or you be deprived of a divine soulmate.Struggle
or you will not be able to please your in laws. Struggle or you are not making kids (as
connoted by aunts once married…the process may not be struggle after all).Struggle
to change your habits. Struggle or else you will not be able to educate your child.
Struggle and change your habits are melodious symphony proverbs for men.
Yes! Men are warmblooded but real men never rape. All men are not alike. Like every
other girl should be respected as mother,wife, niece, aunt, aunty, sister same prevails
for men be like father, husband, uncle, brother. To say more, it’s that even men are
marginalized at some point or the other. The article does not promote contradiction by
any mean. It simply lays emphasis on equality.Equality in all sphere and spree.If my
feminine crony are struggling so does their masculine counterparts. Male
harassments,male prostitution, male traumatization prevails in the loops and corners
of this society.Hindrance to masculine related perturbation is hostile. Indian culture
portrays men as a symbol of countenance. No prominent institutional rehabilitation
for male psychological trauma available.
All those feminists, who had been screaming over the male atrocities, were shocked
into silence reading the recent reports whereina 42-year-old married woman Veera
Kalra, a manager at a ready-made garments store, was booked for sexually harassing
her 25-year-old employee Rahul Khandare. Rahul had recentlycommitted suicide and
left a five-page note, blaming Veera for sexually harassing him and being the main
cause behind his frustration. And this is not a case in isolation. There are other cases,
which have similar undertones.
Case : Disha Chauhan (name changed), a 25-year-old girl working for a multinational
herbal products company in the city, lured her new male colleague into a sexual
relationship. After luring him into the relationship, she started urging him on to help
her with getting more businessand greater sales numbers, says our source from the
police. He obliged and soon the girl proposed marriage to the lad. When he agreed to
that as well,she told him to helpin increasing her sales incentive from 35% to 50%.
The guy invested heavily,bought the products in large numbers and even diverted
many of his own clients to her. The girl achieved her target, married her senior and
dumped the guy! Totally shocked, the guy initially went into acute depression,adds
the source. Later, he finally gathered the courage to file a case at the Ajni Police
Station for cheatingand sexual harassment.
According to a United Nations report, certainIndian traditions and customs also have
a role to play in the perpetuation of male sex trade.The report “Traditionalising male
prostitution in India” says that boys in the age group of 15 to 25 with a feminine

3. BY SAURAV GUPTA
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demeanour migrate to Bihar and Uttar Pradesh from various states to perform what is
called the ‘Launda naach.’ Launda dancers define and spice up entertainment during
marriagesin the Hindi heartland, especially in Bihar and UP, where weddings are
elaborate affairs witha rustic dose of merry-making, drinking, music and dance.
Launda dancers are predominantly effeminate men, dressed in women’s attire. The
Laundas (young boys) are hired by poor families as they cannot afford “more
expensive”women dancers. The dancersmainly belong to lower middle-class and poor
familiesof West Bengal, Bihar,Uttar Pradeshand Maharashtra while some hail from
Nepal and Bangladesh. They come to Bihar and UP during the peak marriage season
between April and June in summer and from December to February during winter.
These dancers are very vulnerable to physical and sexual assault. They are often
bitten or stubbed by those who come to watch them - men with carnal instincts.
The irony is that a man is marginalized by another man. One man is never equally
respectful to his other male counterpart until and unless he is his son in law. Some
are partial to females and other on themselves. Very few attain the selfwisdom of
equality and humanity. We are all equal only if we are at peace homology or struggling
impartially. Here, all genders are equal because we all struggle together. No one is left
aloof from the parlance and quilt of marginalization. We men are also a part of this
natural bouquet of humanization. It is a matter of adamancy to accept that the society
is always governed by patriarchal and mythological norms. Here we are united; irony
is that we are united in our course of struggle. It’s not that a particular gender is
struggling; it’s that the humanity and human behaviorism is struggling. We should be
united to breathe and live freely and not to struggle on commensurate grounds. To
end, Real men are not misogynist and real womenare not misandry. The social evil is
the heinous convention enacted by anti social element irrespective of gender
discrimination and not mere a gender tagged, connoted and exclaimed as MEN. Hate
sin and not the GENDER of sinner. Hum jaise bhi hain par bande achche hai.
Source : http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-
woman/Wake-up-to-the-woes-of-sexually-harassed-
men/articleshow/20716412.cms
http://indiatogether.org/realities-of-male-sex-workers-society