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Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning

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This is Part 1 of a seminar titled: "Hand in Hand for Education--How Parents Help Children Succeed in School. Part 1 is titled: "From the Earliest Years, Parents Lay a Foundation for Learning." Topics addressed include: Cultivating Positive Attitudes and Social Skills, Fostering Good Work Habits, Building Academic Skills, and Embracing Spiritual Gifts.

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Hand in Hand for Education How Parents Help Children Succeed in School Part 1 Parent Guide, Workbook, and Seminar Journal "The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes." --Harold B. Lee © Copyright 2013 v14 2-23-2013 The content of this seminar is solely the responsibility of Kent and Ella Madsen. Our goal is to help parents create a strong tradition of learning and school success in the home We welcome comments and suggestions. Contact us at: s.kent.madsen@gmail.com.
Hand in Hand for Education— How Parents Help Children Succeed in School Content Summary for Part 1—Parents Lay a Foundation for Learning The “learning panels” below summarize the content of Part 1 of an online seminar (accessible soon at www.parentingforschoolsuccess.org ). To view a particular panel and slides associated with it, go to the “Slide Show” menu, select “From Current Slide,” and then click on the panel of interest. Welcome Panel Getting Started Overview of Part 1 Cultivating Positive Attitudes Fostering Good Work Habits Building Academic Skills Embracing Spiritual Gifts
This is the Welcome panel. The next few slides provide an Overview of seminar content. At the end of the section, click “Back to Section Summary” (in slide-show mode) to come back to this slide. To Next Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
Background This PowerPoint presentation contains the essential content of an online seminar designed to help parents help their children succeed in school. The online seminar, available soon for free at www.parentingforschoolsuccess.org, describes: • How parents can lay a solid foundation for school success from the earliest years. • How parents effectively guide and support their children through the school years. Our initial plan was to target parents in low-income immigrant or first-generation families. However, every time we described our project to other parents, the response was the same: “We need that too!” And so, we broadened our focus . After a couple of months spent examining the research (and reflecting on experiences with our own four children), we began to define major topics and look for material that could be used to teach basic concepts. We were absolutely blown away by the wealth of excellent videos, articles, brochures, and programs that we found—available to everyone—on the Internet. The next ten months were spent: • Selecting those that best conveyed the principles we wanted to share . . . and then • Organizing and sequencing them, providing transitions, and developing exercises to engage parents and encourage them to apply key principles in their homes.
Background (continued) We acknowledge the great contribution that organizations sponsoring these websites and materials are making to parents and families. There are far too many to list them all here. Be aware that we have chosen to provide our personal (Mormon) religious perspective on a few of the topics because we think it is telling and important. But please recognize three things—the seminar is for everyone, we are solely responsible for its content, and we do not represent any particular organization, religious or otherwise. We offer the seminar to you for two reasons: • First, we hope that it will be helpful • Second, we hope that you can help us improve it by providing feedback on content, organization, and presentation. We welcome (and invite) your comments and suggestions. S. Kent Madsen, Ph.D., Romance Languages, Duke University ( s.kent.madsen@gmail.com ) Ella R. Madsen, M.S., Child Development, University of California, Davis Note: In this presentation (and in the full seminar) we make extensive use of Internet videos. And so, for best results, you will need access to a good Internet connection. If you have no home connection or if the one you have is not fast enough to play the videos smoothly, try using computers at a local public library, business, church, or friend’s home. To do this without disturbing others, you may have to acquire a set of headphones.
Why Education? He who opens a school door closes a prison. ―Victor Hugo Education is the power to think clearly, the power to act well in the world's work, and the power to appreciate life. ―Brigham Young
Seminar Purpose • Describe parenting practices and home factors that contribute to school success. • Help parents set goals and make plans to create a strong tradition of learning in the home. • Identify challenges, obstacles, and opportunities at each level of schooling—from elementary school to college. • Guide parents as they try to shepherd their children through each school experience to a better and happier life.
Seminar Importance and Content View the following video about a young boy’s struggles at school. Then answer the questions below. http://www.youtube.com/embed/n3R2byZtQ5M To view the video, click on the link above. If that doesn’t work, (a) click on the “Slide Show” menu, (b) select “From Current Slide,” and (c) click on the link (in slide-show mode). To end the slide show, right-click anywhere on the screen, and select “End show.” • What was most remarkable about the mother’s attitudes and actions in ensuring that her son got the help he needed at school? _____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ • Study the seminar content summary provided on the next four pages, and list topics you think will be of greatest importance to you and your family. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________
Seminar Outline Getting Started: Four Basic Principles • Education is vital—we live to learn and grow • There are challenges, but we can overcome them • Parent involvement and family support are crucial to success • Parents need vision and focus: that is, they need to have clear goals and plans. . Part 1. From the Earliest Years, Parents Lay a Foundation for Learning • Cultivating positive attitudes and social skills • Fostering good work habits • Building academic skills • Embracing moral values and spiritual gifts Part 2. Through the School Years, Parents Guide and Support • Working in partnership with teachers and schools • Helping children transition to and meet the unique challenges of:  Elementary School  Middle School  High School  College
Getting Started: Basic Principles Education Is Vital There Are Challenges Parent Involvement Is Crucial Parents Need Vision: Goals and Action Plans
Part 1. From the Earliest Years, Parents Lay a Foundation for Learning • Confidence • Responsibility • Empathy/Sociability • Discipline • Gratitude • Organization • Curiosity • Persistence Cultivating Fostering Positive Good Work Attitudes Habits Embracing Building Spiritual Academic Gifts Skills • Faith • Reading/Listening • Repentance • Writing • Covenants • Math • Inner change • Learning Skills
Using the Parent Guide This Parent Guide can be used as a textbook, workbook, reference/review tool, and seminar journal. Refer to it often to: • Clarify, review, and fix important concepts in your mind • Complete assignments and exercises • Link to and make notes on video presentations and Internet articles • Capture important thoughts and insights • Find answers to questions, and dig into important topics on your own • Record personal goals and plans related to the content of each lesson • Find special helps for Spanish speakers. You can either download/print the file out and work from a hard copy, or click “Save as” on the File menu to create a personalized electronic copy (and work from that). In any case, take the Parent Guide seriously. Its main purpose is to help you translate seminar concepts into goals and action plans for positive change in your home. (See the next slide for examples.)
Think about It—What Do You Hope to Achieve as a Parent (and How)? Your Goals (What?) Your Plans (How?) Your Time Frame (When?) Examples. . . Examples for the education goal: For the listed education plans: Help my children become: --Read together more --Twice a week --Educated/skilled --Have more conversations --Every day during dinner --Honest/moral --Go to the library --Weekly in summer --Happy/confident --Pursue hobbies and interests --On Saturday afternoons --Hard-working/steady --Explore/travel/attend events --Once a month --Kind/generous --Provide a place to study --Today --Socially successful— --Set a time for homework --From 7 to 9 pm weekdays able to make friends, --Communicate with teachers --Monthly work well with others, --Monitor school progress --Weekly and establish long- --Drill math facts at home --While doing chores term relationships --Learn new words --On trips/at dinner Back to Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
Getting Started: Four Basic Principles Hand in Hand for Education How Parents Help Children Succeed in School
View View View View This is the “Getting Started” section. It covers four principles underlying all seminar content. Click on the “View” buttons to go to material relevant to particular principles. At the end of each sub-section, click “Return to Section Summary” to come back to this slide To Next Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
Questions to Ponder as We Begin How important is education to your child's future? • What are the potential benefits of schooling? • Economic? Social? Physical? ________________________________________ • Emotional? Psychological? Spiritual? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ • Will education influence: • Your children's future friendships? ________________________________________ • Their life experiences? How? ________________________________________ • Their ability to serve others? How? ________________________________________ • Their marriage choices? ________________________________________ • The stability of their future families? ________________________________________ • The lives of their children? How? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ • Could it affect: • Their employment? Earning power? _________________________________________ • Job security? Benefits? Health? _________________________________________ • Chances to serve/job satisfaction? _________________________________________
Principle 1: Education is Vital— We Live to Learn and Grow If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. --Derek Bok • Video: Five Ways Ed Pays (Launch slide show if needed; then click on the links below) http://www.youtube.com/embed/spNDLD2KRuA • Graph: Education affects life expectancy Life Expectancy at Age 25--by Education level--HUS11fig32.png • Graph: Education brings higher earnings, stable employment http://www.bls.gov/emp/ep_chart_001.htm • Article: Gordon B. Hinckley, Seek Learning http://www.lds.org/new-era/2007/09/words-of-the-prophet-seek- learning?lang=eng&query=learning+faith
Take Action 1. Review and discuss the material on the previous page with your spouse or another parent. 2. Record on the journal worksheet (next page) any new thoughts, strong feelings, or personal resolutions you are inclined to make in response to what you have learned. 3. Print out copies of the Gordon B. Hinckley article. 4. Give them to your children, and read them together or individually. 5. Schedule an hour with the family to talk about the article, the importance of education, and how you might respond as a family to Hinckley’s counsel. 6. Record on the worksheet (next page) important ideas and plans.
“Take Action” Worksheet Thoughts, feelings, and personal and family resolutions about “Seeking Learning” ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________
Why the Quest to Learn? Learning is an eternal goal  David A. Bednar has said: The overarching purpose of our Heavenly Fathers’ great plan of happiness is to provide his spirit children with opportunities to learn. (Ensign, February 2008) But to what purpose is our learning?  Where will it lead us?  What will it ultimately allow us to do? Think about these questions, and record your answers below ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
Learning Is a Commandment We are specifically challenged in scripture to: • “. . . study and learn, and become acquainted with all good books, • . . . with languages, tongues, and people.” (D&C 90:15) • “. . . seek . . . out of the best books words of wisdom . . . seek learning, even by study and also by faith.” (D&C 88:118) In more recent years, David O. McKay said: "The church stands for education. . . . Members . . . are admonished to acquire learning by study, and also by faith and prayer; to seek after everything that is virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy. " (Conference Report, April 1968, p. 93) The book of Doctrine and Covenants clarifies (at least in part) why : “. . . if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience . . . he will have so much the advantage in the world to come.” (D&C 130:19 These are inspiring quotes You might want to print them out, post them in a prominent place in your home, and set a goal of memorizing one or more of them with your children
Learning Prepares Us for Worldly Work and Spiritual Service ". . . the world is competitive, more than it`s ever been. I believe men and women need to get . . . education which will enable them to meet the exigencies of life . . . to be prepared for a vastly broader scope [of work] than . . . ever . . . before.“ --Thomas S. Monson “Teach . . . diligently and my grace shall attend you, that you may be instructed more perfectly . . . in all things . . . both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth; • things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; • things which are at home, things which are abroad; • the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments . . . on the land; • and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms— that you may be prepared in all things when I shall send you again to magnify the calling whereunto I have called you . . . ” (D&C 88:78-80) Back to Section Summary
Principle 2. There are Challenges, But We Can Overcome Them Remember Byron Pitts? http://youtu.be/JgDCSPHSg1s Launch slide show and click link; then answer the questions below. What obstacles and challenges did Pitts and his mother face? _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ What were his proudest and most discouraging moments? _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ How did he eventually learn to read and excel in school? What did that mean to him? _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________
More on Obstacles and Challenges Based on this Byron Pitts video (and the earlier one), what role did his mother play in helping him overcome obstacles? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ What are the obstacles and challenges your children face in getting an education? Make a list below, and give each challenge a ranking from 1 to 5, where 1 = very serious and 5 = not very serious. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Refine and expand your list of challenges by comparing it with ours (on the next page), and then rank any new items you add.
Reasons Why Young People Fail or Drop Out Some drop out because of family and financial problems. "My father wasn't even a teenager when his father died and he became a door-to-door salesman. . . . There wasn't money for him to stay in school, and his family needed everyone to contribute their share." --Emilio Estefan Others struggle with: • Reading or writing • The English language • Numbers and math • Distractions at home or in school • Discouragement or lack of confidence • Handicaps and learning disabilities • Feelings of boredom, rejection, or isolation • Lack of understanding of “hidden rules” and teacher/school expectations • The complexity of college application requirements and procedures
Assignment: Strengths and Resources Do you believe your children can succeed in school? Make a list of strengths and resources that they (and you) bring to the task. Examples might include: • We are hard working. • We are determined and persistent. • We are smart and resourceful. • We can get help from friends, neighbors, relatives, our church, and other organizations. • We can find mentors, tutors, teachers, and counselors to help us. • We have God-given powers to grow, learn, change, and improve. • Heaven wants us to succeed and will open doors for us as we do our part. Compare your list of challenges and obstacles with your list of strengths and resources. The more clearly you (and your children) see your strengths and assets, the greater will be your confidence that education goals are attainable.
Assignment Worksheet: Strengths and Resources List your children’s strengths and resources below. ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________
Brainstorming Exercise: Overcoming Challenges View videos by clicking on the two links below (in slide-show mode) Lamar Johnson’s Grit http://youtu.be/F4zvzTj6wlg Comments of First-Generation College Students http://youtu.be/FyJRiCWy7xo Think creatively about how you might help your children imitate the students in the videos who overcame serious challenges and obstacles) Brainstorm freely. And record on the next page all the ideas that come— even the crazy ones. Ideas feed on ideas, and even wild, seemingly impractical thoughts can sometimes suggest viable and effective strategies (as you continue to think about them over time).
Brainstorming Worksheet— Overcoming Obstacles How might you help your children overcome the most serious obstacles to their school success? Ideas: _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________
Hope for School Success Can Spring from a Vision of Who We Are We all have weaknesses and obstacles to overcome. But the scriptures paint an inspiring picture of our potential. They speak of “fathers of our flesh” (our earthly parents) and a “father of spirits” (Hebrews 12:9). They suggest that we are dual beings--with a physical inheritance obtained from our earthly parents and an inner spiritual inheritance (a kind of spiritual DNA) received from God himself. We are not just weak mortals. We are sons and daughters of God—sent to earth to gain knowledge and experience. It follows that, whatever our earthly backgrounds, we have untapped (and often unrecognized) spiritual gifts. We possess, in embryo, at least some of our Eternal Father’s great qualities. He invites and challenges us to magnify them. This should give us a large measure of hope and confidence in all our earthly struggles. Armed with this vision of our true identity, we (and our children) can embrace the hope of overcoming any challenges and obstacles to getting a good education. All it takes is commitment, attention, and effort. Back to Section Summary
Principle 3. Parent Involvement and Family Support Are Crucial to Success Parent attitudes, expectations, and involvement are important to a child’s educational success. Studies show that they affect school achievement at every level—more than material home circumstances or variations in school and classroom organization, instructional materials, and teaching practices. This is why we should talk to our children often about education (and start early). This is why we should work hard to establish a learning partnership with each child (and with the schools). Many parents shy away from getting involved with teachers and schools. That approach results (on average) in a less than 30% chance for a college degree. Parents who do get involved and who encourage children to take more and more responsibility for their education can raise those odds significantly.
Assignment: Understanding the Impact of Parental Involvement In slide-show mode, click on the Parent Involvement video and article links below, and then (based on the content) answer the questions posed on the next two pages. Video: Parent Involvement in Education http://youtu.be/-z-A77ybAuA Article: Parent Involvement in Children’s Education http://www.michigan.gov/documents/Final_Parent_Involvement_Fact_Sheet_14 732_7.pdf Article: The Importance of Mothers http://www.billmuehlenberg.com/2009/05/05/the-importance-of-motherhood/ Article: The Importance of Fathers http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/fatherhood/chaptertwo.cfm Article: More on the Fathers’ Role http://msuextension.org/publications/HomeHealthandFamily/MT200008HR.pdf
Assignment Worksheet: Understanding the Impact of Parental Involvement What are the most consistent predictors of a child’s academic achievement? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ What are some effective ways parents can become involved? (List at least six.) _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________
Assignment Worksheet: Understanding the Impact of Parental Involvement When should parents become involved (for best results)? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ What impact do parents’ expectations have on academic achievement? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Back to Section Summary
Principle 4. Parents Need Vision: Goals and an Action Plan Goals and plans are important. They give us a vision of what we want to accomplish and help us get moving—with discipline—in the right direction. • As Yogi Berra put it (with tongue in cheek): “. . . if you don’t know where you’re going . . . you might not get there.” We invite you to take Yogi’s point to heart as you complete each seminar lesson (including this one),: • Review what you have learned—using the aids provided • Dig further into important topics (to find answers and get the big picture) • Define personal goals related to the major topics (and write them down) • Make plans to achieve those goals (write them down too). • Prioritize and specify a realistic time frame for implementation of your plans. Change is hard, and you probably won’t succeed if you try to tackle everything all at once. You can begin the process right now: • By reviewing lesson content, digging a little deeper to find answers to questions, and creating a list of personal and family goals and plans related to this lesson. (Make good use of the tools provided on the next few pages.)
Lesson Summary: Getting Started—Four Basic Principles 1. Education is vital—we live to learn and grow • Learning prepares us for meaningful work and service • It can enhance security, health, wealth, family life, and job satisfaction 2. There are challenges, but we can overcome them • We have strengths and resources sufficient to the task: • Determination, good work habits, personal strengths • Community and family ties • Spiritual gifts 3. Parent involvement and strong family support are crucial to success • Kids need guidance, example, and support • Parents should establish a working partnership with the schools 4. Parents need vision: goals and action plans • Clearer ideas about what good parenting is • Realistic goals and plans for your children and the home environment
Find Answers, Get the Bigger Picture— Dig into Key Lesson Topics on Your Own Take a look at these reference links—and come back to them at the end of each lesson. They can help you deepen your understanding of important lesson topics. Lakeside Union School District University of Arkansas School Success Library (in English and Spanish) The Parenting Journey http://www.lakesideusd.org/stories/storyRea http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/p der$75 arenting/default.htm Includes dozens of tip sheets for parents on many A collection of “Travel Guides” for Parents (in different school-related topics --view topic list English and Spanish) addressing topics such as emotional and physical health, showing Education.com affection, understanding child • Educational activities and worksheets development, building character and • Easy-to-read articles. responsibility, encouraging a love of • Insightful video content learning, teaching values, and serving in the • A rich community that helps parents connect community • Information on schools The Family Journey http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/f Guiding Children Successfully (GCS) amily/default.htm http://www.arfamilies.org/child_care/gcs/def A concise description of characteristics of ault.htm strong families Workshop on motivating kids, showing love, etc. Enrichment Materials by Topic
More Tools for Digging Check out these additional learning resources (now and as you work through the seminar). Reference books Education: Catch the Dream (continued) http://www.Amazon.com Video 3—Introduction to the Program • Sharon L. Ramey, Going to School: How to http://youtu.be/ozJhgEqu0IQ Help Your Child Succeed. Video 4—Dreams Card Sort • Madeline Levine, Teach Your Children Well: http://youtu.be/nei_0VAIhIw Parenting for Authentic Success. Video 5—Education Catches Dreams • John R. Ban, PASS: Parents Assuring School http://youtu.be/ErBp-HezbQQ Success. Video 6—Latino Stats http://youtu.be/s-yaz9srJ3E Hundreds of Free Parenting Videos Video 7—Obstacles Card Sort http://www.5min.com http://youtu.be/Rmg5fQCQbZc Video 8—Resources Card Sort http://youtu.be/2_OoZNpZcL8 Education: Catch the Dream Video 9—Action (A Fine Program for Motivating Hispanic Youth) http://youtu.be/uwb8AuaC5Bg Video 1—Background Video 10—You Can Do It http://youtu.be/uQSDPRRBCAY http://youtu.be/ppvyz9P3aL4 Video 2—Motivational Theories http://youtu.be/BRC-aFlGPgA Helps for Hispanic Parents
Summary of Goal-Setting and Planning Procedure As you complete each lesson: 1. Review and deepen understanding of what you have learned. 2. Revisit your lists of education challenges, family and personal strengths and resources, and ideas for overcoming obstacles. 3. Then work with your spouse to translate these ideas into GOALS and PLANS that seem practical and important. (A worksheet for doing this is provided on the next slide.) Documenting your goals and plans can bring discipline and action to what might otherwise be a passive learning experience. It can put you in a position to bless your children’s lives by making positive changes in your home now.
Goal-Setting and Planning Form Getting Started—Basic Principles Your Goals (What?) Your Action Plan (How)? Time Frame (When?) _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ Back to Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
Part 1: From the Earliest Years, Parents Lay a Foundation for Learning Hand in Hand for Education How Parents Help Children Succeed in School
This panel describes the four Part 1 Lessons. To Next Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
Overview of Part 1 Many parents assume that the most important thing they can do to help children succeed in school is to focus on reading, writing, and math skills at home. While there’s no doubt that basic academic skills are very important, non- academic factors are equally important. For example, consider the impact of: • Positive attitudes (confidence, hope, enthusiasm, curiosity, gratitude) • Social skills (the ability to relate to others, make friends, and work in groups) • Persistence, discipline, and good work habits • Moral values and spiritual gifts Positive, confident children do much better in school than those who are negative, fearful, and depressed. Children who are socially mature are happier in school than those who are not. Children who are persistent, organized, and hard- working naturally accomplish more than those who are flighty, unfocused, and lackadaisical. Children with spirituality and a strong moral compass are blessed in many ways. And children with strong academic skills are likely to succeed—precisely because of those skills. Part 1 will help you learn to build both ACADEMIC AND NON-ACADEMIC SKILLS at home.
Lesson 1: Cultivating Positive Attitudes and Social Skills Hand in Hand for Education How Parents Help Children Succeed in School
View View View View View View This is the Lesson 1 Summary. Four topics are addressed, and a fifth section, “Vision and Action,” provides review, enrichment, planning, and goal-setting tools. To view material on each topic, click the “View” buttons above. At the end of each section, you can either continue on or click “Back to Lesson Summary” to come back to this slide. To Next Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
Cultivating Positive Attitudes and Social Skills— An Overview How do positive attitudes affect school performance? Confidence—believing in oneself—is an important contributor to school success. Confidence brings courage and motivation to engage and work in school. Fear and insecurity (the opposite of confidence) can paralyze children and set up roadblocks to exploration, growth, and learning. Confidence is based on a positive vision of the future. Children who lack such a vision often plateau in the present and become self-indulgent rather than hard-working and productive. Gratitude (the ability to recognize all the ways in which the glass is at least half full) builds cheerfulness, and a sense of well-being. These positive emotions carry over into school and other aspects of life, and they boost performance. Curiosity can turn the work of school into fun and make education interesting and exciting. Over the long haul, curiosity is a more stable and compelling driver of school success than “show-off” or “competition” motives.
Overview (continued) How do social skills, empathy, and “emotional intelligence“ affect school performance? School is, in large part, a social experience. Children who are quick to make friends and who feel comfortable working in groups will do better (and be happier) there. Positive social relationships contribute to learning. If children are able to build positive relationships at school, they can learn as much from each other as from the teacher. And they will be happier and more engaged. Empathy and emotional intelligence (the ability to recognize and understand what we and other people are feeling) are important to social success and therefore to school success. Understanding one’s own emotions is an important aspect of emotional literacy. And it is a key to achieving self control. Thus, emotional literacy is correlated with good behavior and discipline in the classroom and at home. Core message embedded in Lesson 1: Parents need to find ways of building confidence, teaching gratitude, stimulating curiosity, and promoting sociability, empathy, and emotional literacy in the home.
How Parents Build Confidence “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” --Mark Twain “Whenever I came into the room . . . *my grandmother would] light up, so happy to see me. . . . One person is all it takes to give a kid confidence.” --Adriana Trigiani Parents need to help children think more positively about themselves. But how? Parental statements to and about each child can be important in cultivating (or destroying) confidence. For example, children who receive many more criticisms than compliments at home do less well in school. They come to equate that criticism with failure and often pin a failure label on themselves. They carry the label with them into school and do not expect (or try) to do well. They may even come to resent direction or correction from any source.
Be Positive and Generous with Praise Self-confidence and an ability to face challenges without fear and anxiety are key contributors to school success. Confidence can be built up or torn down by the tone of everyday conversations in the home. • If you focus on the positive—giving children honest praise for the good things they do and for their hard work—they will be more inclined to work, achieve, and embrace a positive view of themselves and their future. • If you flood their minds with negative comments and criticism, they are likely to become hesitant, listless, fearful, shallow, and self-indulgent—unwilling to embrace life’s challenges and take the risks crucial to learning, growth, and progress. Your goal as a parent should be to notice and praise your children’s real accomplishments. Catch them doing good things every day.
Assignment: Focus on the Positive Put a card in your wallet or purse and for a week or two make a mark for each positive and negative comment you make to your children. At the end of the test period there should be many more marks in the positive column than in the negative. If there aren’t, run the test again, and try harder to focus on the positive. Enter results from the card here, and make an effort to do better and better each day. Positive Comments Negative Comments Week 1 _________________ __________________ _________________ __________________ Week 2 _________________ __________________ _________________ __________________
Assignment: Effective and Ineffective Praise Do you think that all praise is of equal power in building confidence and a sense of competence in your children? The people who study these things say no. View the two videos and three articles below to find out what the experts have discovered. Take notes on what you hear and read. Let a day pass, and then review and reflect on your notes (and perhaps view the videos again). This is very important material. How to Praise Children http://youtu.be/Wqo4c-FlFGE Building Self Esteem in Children http://youtu.be/T3CD0_FGc_M I Think I Can! I Think I Can! http://www.nasponline.org/publications/cq/pdf/V39N3_FT_Self- Efficacy.pdf Self Efficacy http://www.education.com/reference/article/self-efficacy-children/ Praise Effectively http://www.incredibleyears.com/ParentResources/praise.pdf
Assignment Worksheet: Effective and Ineffective Praise Notes on articles and videos _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ What kinds of praise are harmful? What kinds are helpful? Why? _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ What is a sense of “self-efficacy”? And how might you foster it in your children? _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________
How Parents Teach Gratitude View the following videos, and summarize the most Important points below. Teaching Gratitude http://youtu.be/qGXXvoHUBLY Change Your Kids’ Attitude with Gratitude http://youtu.be/FEmRw9ms85k Important points ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________
How Parents Can Boost a Child’s Social and Emotional IQ View the following videos, and summarize the main ideas on the next page Helping Kids Build Strong Social Connections http://youtu.be/MzatPjH7bkg Emotional Literacy http://youtu.be/I9xsr4Epd74 Children Learn What They Live http://youtu.be/EnpiagqQbjE Read the following articles, and compare the content with that of the videos Social Skills http://extension.oregonstate.edu/catalog/pdf/ec/ec1317-e.pdf Foster Social Connections http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/raising-happiness/201004/topic-the- month-fostering-social-connections Identify/Express Emotions http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/familytools/teaching_emotions.pdf Deal with Strong Emotions http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/insight/insight.pdf
Worksheet: Boosting Your Child’s Social/Emotional IQ Notes on social and emotional literacy _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________
The Value of Unstructured Play Kids need time to explore on their own and with their peers. Can you understand why that would be important? Unstructured play time is crucial to your children's physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development. Check out this quote: "Play is the most efficient driver of learning for children. This is as true of their cognitive development as their physical and emotional development. . . . Seven-year-olds Tyler and John are playing “chase” on the playground during recess. While this may look simply like a good way to burn off energy and calories—which alone is enough to recommend it—it is also a highly sophisticated social transaction. In order for the game to continue, each boy has to be willing to be both the chaser and the chased. In other words, both boys have to be willing to cooperate in order to participate in this game. Chase is a reciprocal activity and ends the moment one of the boys stops reciprocating. This ability to play reciprocally is a powerful predictor of academic success, as is the ability to empathize and cooperate. . . . (continued on next page) (Excerpted from Teach Your Children Well—Parenting for Authentic Success, Madeline Levine, Ph.D., Harper Collins, 2012, pp. 79-80.)
Unstructured Play (continued) Over the last twenty years, kids have lost close to two hours of play every day, most of that unstructured play. And it is unstructured play that provides the greatest opportunities for kids to be curious, creative, spontaneous, and collaborative. In unstructured play, kids have to negotiate, they have to figure out how to settle differences, they have to learn how to cooperate, make the rules, and most important, learn how to “play by the rules.” Unstructured play, which should be part of every child’s life on a daily basis, lays the groundwork for social competence. . . . it is unstructured play that stimulates imagination, and it is imagination that is the underpinning of creativity, and, ultimately, innovation.“ (Excerpted from Teach Your Children Well—Parenting for Authentic Success, Madeline Levine, Ph.D., Harper Collins, 2012, pp. 79-80.) Go out and Play (Video) http://youtu.be/Oh77DsoOU_U Back to Lesson Summary
Be Warm, Positive, Authoritative, and Consistent—Expect a Lot of Your Children “Nobody rises to low expectations.” —Calvin Lloyd “Children do not experience our intentions, no matter how heartfelt. They experience what we manifest in tone and behavior.” —Gordon Neufeld What kind of parent are you? What is your parenting style? • Uninvolved? • Indulgent? • Authoritarian? • Warm and authoritative? These may seem like abstract terms, but the patterns of behavior they represent have a real impact on the development (or destruction) of attitudes and skills crucial to school success: • Confidence • Openness • Motivation • Self-control
Assignment: Understanding the Power of Warm, Authoritative Parenting 1. View these videos on parenting styles: Parenting Styles http://youtu.be/AGHyB9MsMho Parenting Styles http://youtu.be/4ZyhzYJAbJo Free-Range/Helicopter Parenting http://youtu.be/JcnO6eJGh9o 2. Read these articles on authoritative parenting: Parenting Styles http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting- style.htm Authoritative Parenting = Balance http://www.extension.umn.edu/specializations/familydevelopment/authpar .html Authoritative Parenting Definition http://psychology.about.com/od/childcare/f/authoritative-parenting.htm Responsive, Nurturing Parenting http://www.incredibleyears.com/ParentResources/responsive-parenting.pdf 3. Describe the benefits associated with a warm, authoritative parenting style ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
Assignment: Responsive Discipline 1. View two videos from a Responsive Discipline course (No. 2. Authority and No. 3. Limits) http://www.youtube.com/user/casmith46 2. View video and documents about showing you care: 100 Ways to Show Children You Care http://youtu.be/6-q-o388Zhg 100 Ways to Show Children You Care (transcription of the video) 100 Ways to Show Children You Care.docx Showing Love http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/loveland.htm 3. Record ideas on how you might apply principles of authoritative parenting and responsive discipline in your home. _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________
Assignment: A Detailed Self Evaluation Imagine that a stranger came to live in your home for a month and was able to witness all your interactions with your children. Suppose that at the end of the month: (a) You gave him the lists of positive and negative qualities shown on the next few pages, and (b) You asked him to rate you with regard to how often you demonstrated each one: 1 = Never 2 = Rarely 3 = Occasionally 4 = Regularly 5 = Almost always Go through the lists, and judge how an honest observer would rate you. If you don’t feel you can be objective, ask a close friend or family member to do the rating (emphasizing that you want honesty and candor, not flattery).
Your Positive Qualities (List 1)— Circle the Most Accurate Number for Each How often do you: Never Rarely Occasionally Regularly Almost always Show affection? 1 2 3 4 5 Show acceptance? 1 2 3 4 5 Encourage autonomy? 1 2 3 4 5 Promote courage? 1 2 3 4 5 Encourage achievement? 1 2 3 4 5 Reinforce good habits? 1 2 3 4 5 Stimulate thinking? 1 2 3 4 5 Encourage social interaction? 1 2 3 4 5 Listen reflectively? 1 2 3 4 5 Show understanding? 1 2 3 4 5 Show fairness? 1 2 3 4 5 Appear relaxed? 1 2 3 4 5 Show support? 1 2 3 4 5 Build positive self-concept? 1 2 3 4 5 Show respect? 1 2 3 4 5 Give of self freely? 1 2 3 4 5 Stimulate critical thinking? 1 2 3 4 5 Control urges to be critical? 1 2 3 4 5 Accept mistakes? 1 2 3 4 5 Take time to train/teach? 1 2 3 4 5
Your Positive Qualities (List 2)— Circle the Most Accurate Number for Each How often do you: Never Rarely Occasionally Regularly Almost always Actually act, not just talk? 1 2 3 4 5 Show firmness without 1 2 3 4 5 dominating? Show consistency in 1 2 3 4 5 expectations? Model expected behavior? 1 2 3 4 5 Love the child, but correct 1 2 3 4 5 the behavior? Show patience? 1 2 3 4 5 Project happiness? 1 2 3 4 5 Show consideration? 1 2 3 4 5 Demonstrate trust? 1 2 3 4 5 Model moral behavior? 1 2 3 4 5
Your Negative Qualities— Circle the Most Accurate Number for Each How often do you/are you: Never Rarely Occasionally Regularly Almost always Cold? 1 2 3 4 5 Punishing? 1 2 3 4 5 Rejecting? 1 2 3 4 5 Hostile? 1 2 3 4 5 Rigid? 1 2 3 4 5 Belittling? 1 2 3 4 5 Critical? 1 2 3 4 5 Unaccepting? 1 2 3 4 5 Neglectful? 1 2 3 4 5 Authoritarian? 1 2 3 4 5 Nagging? 1 2 3 4 5 Overprotective? 1 2 3 4 5 Overindulgent? 1 2 3 4 5 Reward fearful behavior? 1 2 3 4 5 Suspicious? 1 2 3 4 5 Reward immature behavior? 1 2 3 4 5 Anti-independence? 1 2 3 4 5 Pro-extreme-conformity? 1 2 3 4 5 Controlling? 1 2 3 4 5 Harm positive self-concept? 1 2 3 4 5
Review Results, Take Action, Make Changes When you have finished with your self-evaluation: • Review the results. • Make a personal commitment to work on any items in the positive lists with a rating of 1 or 2. • Commit yourself to work on items in the negative list with a rating of 4 or 5. • Reevaluate yourself weekly on each of those targeted items. Back to Lesson Summary
Parents Stimulate Curiosity by Welcoming Questions “Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel.” —Socrates Curiosity is an inner desire to understand— a passion for asking questions and finding answers. Most children ask a lot of questions. It’s instinctive. And that's a good thing. Behind each question is a seed of wonder and interest, which we want to cultivate and encourage. But sometimes, the seemingly endless stream of questions gets on our nerves. How do you typically respond to your children’s questions? How should you respond? There are at least three options: • You can ignore them. • You can give them a quick answer and let it go at that. • You can take a personal interest in their question and work with them to find answers. Which do you think would be the best strategy? If you welcome questions and develop the habit of asking many yourself (and if you work with your children to find answers), they will likely join you in a lifelong quest for learning and education. If you don’t, the flame of curiosity may flicker and die.
Questions and the Love of Learning Read the articles, view the video, and familiarize yourself with the Web sites referenced below. Capture good ideas on how to nurture curiosity. Articles, Video, and Web Sites Questions and the Love of Learning http://voices.yahoo.com/encouraging-children-love-learn- 3349602.html?cat=25 Questions in Early Learning http://life.familyeducation.com/communication/family- time/36021.html?page=3 Why Do You Hiccup? http://youtu.be/gXyBNvD2B-g Wonderopolis.org http://wonderopolis.org/wonders/ Curiosity—a Collection of Articles and Activities http://www.scholastic.com/parents/search/tags?tag=curiosity 100 Questions to Ask Kids http://life.familyeducation.com/communication/family- Back to Lesson Summary time/36021.html?page=3
Parents Stimulate Curiosity by Inviting Children to Explore the World The world is a fascinating place. And somehow, we need to communicate that to our children. School can be a great adventure. But in many cases it will only be so if we initiate them first into the joys of learning, discovery, and exploration. The simple truth is that the more things we expose children to—the more we poke around with them, demonstrating openness to and interest in the world— the more likely they are to discover at some point what intrigues them. And then, the battle is won.
Family Activities, Field Trips, and Outings Can you think of some ways of exploring the world as a family? Here are some ideas: • Take walks, ask questions, and talk about what you see • Read together, and pursue hobbies and personal interests • Show your children how things work • Visit family and friends, and invite them tell you their stories and describe their interests • Learn about your ancestors, and put a photo album together • Arrange for visits to fire stations, factories, mills, workshops, and interesting local businesses • Attend concerts, shows, plays, and festivals • Visit museums, parks, historic sites, and scenic wonders • Take a trip or go on a picnic • Find Internet resources that can teach, inspire, and stimulate curiosity
Assignment: Family Outings “We can best help children learn . . . by making the world . . . accessible to them . . .” —John Holt 1. Think about the quote above. 2. View the four videos and "virtual tour" Web site below. Family Field Trip to Ganyard Hill Farm http://youtu.be/XMlfUon3qoM Family Field Trip to Washington, D.C. http://youtu.be/i-O55gHAuXc H Is for Hot Air Balloon http://youtu.be/UtvcR347Z2E Family Field Trip to Dad’s Workplace http://youtu.be/02IZqUjHqyU Back to Lesson Summary Virtual Tours of Scenic and Historic Places http://www.theteachersguide.com/virtualtours.html 3. Then make a list of things you might want explore with your children over the next few months. Take your time. Make a plan. Carry it out. And watch for the sparks.
Summary of Part 1 Lesson 1— Cultivating Positive Attitudes and Social Skills Build children’s confidence: • Be positive and generous with focused praise • Praise effort, hard work, growth, and progress— not raw intelligence or talent. • Blend high expectations with warmth and responsiveness—adopt an authoritative parenting style, and practice responsive discipline Teach gratitude • Help children keep a gratitude journal • Each evening, ask about “the three best things that happened today” • From time to time, encourage children write, deliver, and read out loud a “gratitude letter” to someone they appreciate Foster social maturity, empathy, and emotional intelligence • As a family, be sociable, interact with others, make time for unstructured play • Acknowledge strong emotions, become an “emotion coach,” teach self control Nurture curiosity • Welcome questions and find answers together • Explore the world (and your community) together via regular family outings
Lesson 1 Review Questions and Exercises Be Positive, People-Oriented, and Generous with Praise 1. Why are confidence, empathy, gratitude, and curiosity important to education success? 2. Based on what you have learned, what kind of praise is most helpful and motivating in building confidence in children and youth? 3. What does it mean to have a sense of self-efficacy? Is it different from self-esteem? In what ways? How do children develop a sense of self-efficacy? 4. Are hope, optimism, gratitude, and positive views of the future important to personal happiness, growth, and achievement? Why? In the family setting, do you generally project those attitudes? What could you do to improve? 5. One way of focusing on the positive in your home is to feel and openly express gratitude. You might want to plan a formal “Count Your Blessings” night in which each family member (including yourself) is invited to tell about things (or people) he or she is most thankful for. 6. Think about each of your children, and make a list of their recent accomplishments. Try to understand specifically what was behind each achievement (effort, practice, study, planning, determination, problem- solving, focus, persistence, thoughtfulness, etc.) Then acknowledge those things and praise your children for them. 7. How can you boost your children’s social/emotional IQ?
Lesson 1 Review Questions and Exercises (continued) Blend High Expectations with Warmth and Responsiveness 1. How would you describe an authoritative parenting style (as opposed to an authoritarian style)? 2. What impacts do authoritative and authoritarian parenting styles generally have on kids? 3. What are the drawbacks to permissive and inattentive (or neglectful) parenting? 4. Think about your values, hopes, and goals for your children. Do you want them to become: • Kind, generous, and moral (possessing a clear sense of right and wrong)? • Socially skilled (able to form friendships and work well with others)? • Independent (able to make decisions and take responsibility for themselves)? • Intelligent and educated (with skills to serve and build and contribute) ? • Physically healthy (with energy to work and serve)? • Happy (with enthusiasm for life)? 5. Analyze how these values, hopes, and goals are reflected in your parenting practices and current family rules, routines, and standards. Look for inconsistencies, disconnects, and arbitrariness. Work with your spouse to refine and focus rules, routines, and parenting practices on these goals. 6. Make it a point periodically to review family rules with your children. Respect and welcome their comments, and communicate freely your thoughts and the reasoning behind the rules. Emphasize that your focus will always be on what is right rather than who is right. 7. Work through the material on showing love effectively in “The Parenting Journey” In English: http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/loveland/loveland.pdf In Spanish: http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/loveland/FCS402SP.pdf
Lesson 1 Review Questions and Exercises (continued) Welcome Questions—and Find Answers Together 1. Why should we view children’s questions as a good thing? 2. How can we turn children’s questions from a burden and an annoyance into a pleasurable bonding experience? 3. Are you in the habit of asking yourself questions (and finding answers)? What would be the value of getting into that habit? 4. Go to http://Wonderopolis.org on the Internet, and click on the “Wonder of the Day” to preview how the Web site works. Read the question of the day, view the related video, and read the short written explanation under the video. • Then search the topic list (lower right) for subjects you know your children are interested in. • Click on one or two topics, and make a note of several funky questions related to the topics. • Pose those questions at the dinner table sometime, and invite your children to view the answers with you on the Internet. (You might even make this a daily or weekly “family question” ritual.) 5. Learn and show your children how to use reference books, libraries, Internet search engines (such as http://www.Google.com ) and encyclopedias (http://www.Wickipedia.com ) to look up answers to their questions. You might even find some interesting videos related to their questions on http://www/Youtube.com .
Lesson 1 Review Questions and Exercises (continued) Explore the World around You 1. What kinds of things can children learn on “Family Field Trips”? 2. What could they learn from a simple walk around the neighborhood? 3. What could they learn by going to work with you? 4. Learn about parks, museums, zoos, gardens, public buildings, monuments, and historic sites in your local area, and make plans to visit some of them. 5. If possible, invite each child to spend a day (or part of a day) at work with you. Show them and talk to them about what you do. 6. Explore hobbies and interesting careers together. 7. Take your family to a play, concert, rodeo, sporting event, or parade and talk about it afterward.
Find Answers, Get the Bigger Picture— Dig into Key Lesson Topics on Your Own Take a look at these reference links now—and come back to them at the end of each lesson. They can help you deepen your understanding of important lesson topics. Lakeside Union School District University of Arkansas School Success Library (in English and Spanish) The Parenting Journey http://www.lakesideusd.org/stories/storyRea http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/p der$75 arenting/default.htm Includes dozens of tip sheets for parents on many A collection of “Travel Guides” for Parents (in different school-related topics --view topic list English and Spanish) addressing topics such as emotional and physical health, showing Education.com affection, understanding child • Educational activities and worksheets development, building character and • Easy-to-read articles. responsibility, encouraging a love of • Insightful video content learning, teaching values, and serving in the • A rich community that helps parents connect community • Information on schools The Family Journey http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/f Guiding Children Successfully (GCS) amily/default.htm http://www.arfamilies.org/child_care/gcs/def A concise description of characteristics of ault.htm strong families Workshop on motivating kids, showing love, etc. Enrichment Materials by Topic
More Tools for Digging Check out these additional learning resources (now and as you work through the seminar). Reference books Education: Catch the Dream (continued) http://www.Amazon.com Video 3—Introduction to the Program • Sharon L. Ramey, Going to School: How to http://youtu.be/ozJhgEqu0IQ Help Your Child Succeed. Video 4—Dreams Card Sort • Madeline Levine, Teach Your Children Well: http://youtu.be/nei_0VAIhIw Parenting for Authentic Success. Video 5—Education Catches Dreams • John R. Ban, PASS: Parents Assuring School http://youtu.be/ErBp-HezbQQ Success. Video 6—Latino Stats http://youtu.be/s-yaz9srJ3E Hundreds of Free Parenting Videos Video 7—Obstacles Card Sort http://www.5min.com http://youtu.be/Rmg5fQCQbZc Video 8—Resources Card Sort http://youtu.be/2_OoZNpZcL8 Education: Catch the Dream Video 9—Action (A Fine Program for Motivating Hispanic Youth) http://youtu.be/uwb8AuaC5Bg Video 1—Background Video 10—You Can Do It http://youtu.be/uQSDPRRBCAY http://youtu.be/ppvyz9P3aL4 Video 2—Motivational Theories http://youtu.be/BRC-aFlGPgA Helps for Hispanic Parents
Goals and Plans for Lesson 1: Cultivating Positive Attitudes Part 1 Lesson 1 Your Goals (What?) Your Action Plan (How)? Time Frame (When?) _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ Back to Lesson Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
Lesson 2: Fostering Good Work Habits Hand in Hand for Education How Parents Help Children Succeed in School
View View View View View This is the Lesson 2 Summary. Four topics are addressed, and a fifth section, “Vision and Action,” provides review, enrichment, planning, and goal-setting tools. To view material on each topic, click the “View” buttons above. At the end of each section, you can either continue on or click “Back to Lesson Summary” to come back to this slide To Next Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
Fostering Good Work Habits— Responsibility, Discipline, Organization, Persistence “The most important thing parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.” —Frank Clark Teaching responsibility We all want our children to become hard-working, responsible adults: • To be dutiful and independent • To be organized • To do hard things (such as go to college) • To stick with important jobs until they are completed. But in subtle and not so subtle ways, we sometimes deprive them of the experience of doing these very things during the growing-up years. How could that happen? What would motivate it? What would be the likely consequence?
Teach via Chores, Choices, and Consequences As you peruse the material below (and on the next page), take notes and think about how you might give your children more experience and encouragement in: • Making good choices • Experiencing consequences • Accepting responsibility • Working hard • Solving problems and overcoming obstacles • Persevering with difficult tasks until they are completed • Experiencing the joy of achievement Articles Age-Appropriate Chores http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/chores-for-children Giving Children Choices http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/character/giving_children_choices.htm Natural Consequences http://childparenting.about.com/library/weekly/aa102703a.htm Chore Charts http://orgjunkie.com/2009/05/free-printable-responsibility-chore-charts.html
Chores, Choices, and Consequences (continued) Videos 10 Easy Chores for Teens http://youtu.be/D8bpY8zzaQw 5 Tips to Make a Kids’ Chore Chart http://youtu.be/XcQ1RtuhoFk How to Teach Children to Be Responsible? http://youtu.be/WyZcoiYZxmE How to Motivate Kids to Do Chores http://youtu.be/SU_yWD3poU0 Teaching Middle-Schoolers Responsibility and Independence http://youtu.be/jlmn4zhzcwU Consequences Are Essential http://youtu.be/rW3wqYE2yfE Using Logical Consequences http://youtu.be/KukQfLvgCk8 How to Raise Responsible Kids http://youtu.be/KYnJCJVtEUw
Chores, Choices, and Consequences (Notes) Notes _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ Back to Lesson Summary
Teach via Family Rules/Routines “A child wants some kind of undisrupted routine or rhythm. He seems to want a predictable, orderly world.” —Abraham Maslow What is the value of establishing and maintaining family rules and routines? Rules and routines give children a sense of order, organization, security, control, and predictability. Examples include behavior rules, morning routines, after-school routines, meal times, bed times, and limits on TV or other media. Although children may chafe against rules and structure from time to time, they reap significant benefits. Children from families with consistent standards and routines do better in school and in other arenas. Rules and routines seem to prepare them for the structure of classrooms and work and social environments.
Establishing Family Rules and Routines What kinds of rules and routines would be helpful in your home? Rules for: • Meal times? • Bed times? • Study times? • Chore times? • Play times? • Reading times? • Family meetings and activity times? • TV and other electronic media? Check out the links on the next page for more ideas and suggestions.
Establishing Family Rules and Routines (continued) Links Sample Family Rules http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/family-rules-top-10-rules- to-post-on-your-fridge/ Teaching Responsibility through Rules/Routines http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/character.htm Rules, Rituals, and Routines http://mothering.com/parenting/rules-rituals-and-routines?page=0,0 Road Map for Establishing Rules and Routines http://www.learningseed.com/_guides/1303_rules_rituals_routines_guide.p df Family Rules/Routines (Charts/Templates/Tips) http://www.incredibleyears.com/Resources/basic_school-age_program-10- handouts.pdf
Establishing Family Rules and Routines (continued) Family Rules Definition Worksheet Use this worksheet to consider potential family rules. If you decide a rule is needed in a topic area, phrase it in the positive, rather than the negative. For example, “Eat only in the kitchen” means the same thing as “No eating in any room with a rug,” but it tends to be more “friendly.” Household responsibility and participation Homework _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Mealtimes Other school issues _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Snacking Indoor physical activity _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Other food concerns Extracurricular activities _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Privacy Sibling behavior _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Language Forbidden activities _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ TV and video games Telephone _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Establishing Family Rules and Routines (continued) Family Rules Definition Worksheet (contd) Computer and Internet use Permissions _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Reading Modesty _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Pets and pet care Car _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Allowance Smoking, alcohol, and other drugs _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Earnings Curfew _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Savings Dating _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Family functions Sexual activity _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Guests Guests _______________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ Back to Lesson Summary
Prize Effort, Practice, and Personal Progress— Help Children Experience the Joy of Growth “Every mountain top is within reach if you just keep climbing.” —Barry Finlay “Let failure be *a+ . . . workshop. See it for what it is; the world walking *us+ . . . through a tough but necessary semester, free of tuition.” —Steven Heighton Links to view and ponder What Is a “Growth Mindset” http://mindsetonline.com/whatisit/about/index.html Fostering Growth Mindsets http://youtu.be/o-SaTBg5eIc Prizing Effort http://youtu.be/2cB5yUPFLKI Letting Go of Being Perfect http://youtu.be/mAlg3BY2DJI
Fixed and Growth Mindsets Back to Lesson Summary
Impart the “Gift of Grit”— Achievement Motivation, Self-Discipline, Persistence “I will is more important than IQ.” —Marva Collins Grit One quality associated with educational success is "grit," which has been described as "perseverance and a passion for long-term goals." Gritty people possess persistence of motive and effort. They are more focused on winning the marathon than the sprint. Individuals with grit are able to maintain their determination and motivation over long periods of time despite experiences with failure and adversity. Their passion and commitment to a long-term objective is what provides the stamina required to stay the course. But how does a child develop grit? In slide-show mode, click on the links below (and on the next page) for some good ideas: Raising Gritty Kids http://happyfamiliesblog.blogspot.com/2011/06/raising-gritty-kids.html Achievement Motivation http://youtu.be/6Jsui7ppoFw Five Lessons on Self-Discipline for Kids http://learningtogive.org/lessons/unit538/
Raising “Gritty Kids” (continued) Check out these documents Activities That Teach Perseverance Activities That Teach Perseverance Activities That Teach Planning and Organization Activities That Teach Planning and Organization The Power of Deferred Gratification (Article and Links) Deferred Gratification (Article and Links) Back to Lesson Summary
Summary of Lesson 2— Fostering Good Work Habits Teach via Chores, Choices, and Consequences Teach children to work by giving them regular responsibilities at home. From the earliest years, invite them to make age-appropriate choices. Allow them to experience the logical and natural consequences of their actions. Teach via Family Rules and Routines Establish family rules that reflect your values and goals. Establish routines and structure in the home (to help children learn discipline, responsibility, and organization). Prize Effort, Practice, and Personal Progress Praise and reward effort. Embrace a growth (rather than a fixed) mindset. Recognize that failure can be a powerful teacher. Impart the “Gift of Grit”—Achievement Motivation, Self-Discipline, Persistence Teach values of achievement, persistence, self control, and delayed gratification.
Lesson 2 Review Questions and Exercises Teach via Chores, Choices, and Consequences 1. What are some common mistakes parents make in trying to get kids to do chores? 2. What are some ways of getting the children’s cooperation in doing chores? 3. According to the articles you read in going over this lesson, what are some chores suitable for an 8- or 9-year-old? 4. Should very young children be allowed to make choices? Why or why not? 5. What should you do if your children make choices that you consider to be foolish? 6. What is the difference between a natural consequence and a logical consequence? 7. Under what circumstances should you (a) allow natural consequences to teach your child, or (b) step in to impose a logical consequence? 8. Review the material on giving children choices in “The Parenting Journey”: In English or Spanish: http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/discovery/discovery_point.pdf http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/discovery/FCS405SP.pdf 9. Hold a family meeting in which you talk about chores, choices, and consequences. 10. With input from your children, create a chore chart, post it in a prominent place, and use it as a tool to help your children develop practical skills and feel responsible for certain household functions.
Lesson 2 Review Questions and Exercises (contd.) Teach via Family Rules and Routines 1. Critique your current family rules. 2. Explain why rules and their enforcement must be discussed with your children. 3. Explain why rules must be consistently enforced. 4. In one of the articles you read, Thomas Knestrick said: “I believe that routines are . . . the fundamental building blocks of self-discipline and self-monitoring.” What do you think he meant by that? 5. Explain why predictability is important for children and families. 6. What are family “rituals”? How do they differ from routines? And why are they important? 7. Describe the process you might go through in developing and implementing a new set of family rules aligned with your values. 8. List three routines that you would like to implement in your home, and explain what impact they would have on you and your family. 9. Explain what “rituals” you would like to implement with your family and how they might help your children.
Lesson 2 Review Questions and Exercises (contd.) Prize Effort, Practice, and Personal Progress—Help Kids Experience the Joy of Growth 1. What is a “growth mindset”? 2. How does it differ from a “fixed mindset”? 3. How does a growth mindset affect a child’s attitude toward challenges, obstacles, effort, failure, criticism, and the success of others? 4. Describe the “perils of perfectionism.” 5. Think of ways you could communicate to your children the dignity, joy, and value of sustained work, effort, and practice over long periods of time. 6. Map out a strategy now for reacting to your child’s failures—communicating effectively the idea that failure is not fatal—that it is a part of life, that we can learn from it, pick ourselves up, and move on.
Lesson 2 Review Questions and Exercises (contd.) Impart the “Gift of Grit”—Achievement Motivation, Self-Discipline, and Persistence 1. What is “delayed gratification”? 2. What is “impulse control”? 3. How does discipline differ from self-discipline? 4. What is the difference between “self-discipline” and “self-motivation” 5. What is the role of goals in self-motivation? 6. What role does organization play in the attainment of goals? 7. Describe some activities you might use in your home to teach persistence. 8. Review material on values and family traditions in “The Parenting Journey” (available in English or Spanish): http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/reunion/reunion_springs.pdf http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/reunion/FCS406SP.pdf
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning
Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning

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Parent seminar student guide -part 1--laying a foundation for learning

  • 1. Hand in Hand for Education How Parents Help Children Succeed in School Part 1 Parent Guide, Workbook, and Seminar Journal "The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes." --Harold B. Lee © Copyright 2013 v14 2-23-2013 The content of this seminar is solely the responsibility of Kent and Ella Madsen. Our goal is to help parents create a strong tradition of learning and school success in the home We welcome comments and suggestions. Contact us at: s.kent.madsen@gmail.com.
  • 2. Hand in Hand for Education— How Parents Help Children Succeed in School Content Summary for Part 1—Parents Lay a Foundation for Learning The “learning panels” below summarize the content of Part 1 of an online seminar (accessible soon at www.parentingforschoolsuccess.org ). To view a particular panel and slides associated with it, go to the “Slide Show” menu, select “From Current Slide,” and then click on the panel of interest. Welcome Panel Getting Started Overview of Part 1 Cultivating Positive Attitudes Fostering Good Work Habits Building Academic Skills Embracing Spiritual Gifts
  • 3. This is the Welcome panel. The next few slides provide an Overview of seminar content. At the end of the section, click “Back to Section Summary” (in slide-show mode) to come back to this slide. To Next Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
  • 4. Background This PowerPoint presentation contains the essential content of an online seminar designed to help parents help their children succeed in school. The online seminar, available soon for free at www.parentingforschoolsuccess.org, describes: • How parents can lay a solid foundation for school success from the earliest years. • How parents effectively guide and support their children through the school years. Our initial plan was to target parents in low-income immigrant or first-generation families. However, every time we described our project to other parents, the response was the same: “We need that too!” And so, we broadened our focus . After a couple of months spent examining the research (and reflecting on experiences with our own four children), we began to define major topics and look for material that could be used to teach basic concepts. We were absolutely blown away by the wealth of excellent videos, articles, brochures, and programs that we found—available to everyone—on the Internet. The next ten months were spent: • Selecting those that best conveyed the principles we wanted to share . . . and then • Organizing and sequencing them, providing transitions, and developing exercises to engage parents and encourage them to apply key principles in their homes.
  • 5. Background (continued) We acknowledge the great contribution that organizations sponsoring these websites and materials are making to parents and families. There are far too many to list them all here. Be aware that we have chosen to provide our personal (Mormon) religious perspective on a few of the topics because we think it is telling and important. But please recognize three things—the seminar is for everyone, we are solely responsible for its content, and we do not represent any particular organization, religious or otherwise. We offer the seminar to you for two reasons: • First, we hope that it will be helpful • Second, we hope that you can help us improve it by providing feedback on content, organization, and presentation. We welcome (and invite) your comments and suggestions. S. Kent Madsen, Ph.D., Romance Languages, Duke University ( s.kent.madsen@gmail.com ) Ella R. Madsen, M.S., Child Development, University of California, Davis Note: In this presentation (and in the full seminar) we make extensive use of Internet videos. And so, for best results, you will need access to a good Internet connection. If you have no home connection or if the one you have is not fast enough to play the videos smoothly, try using computers at a local public library, business, church, or friend’s home. To do this without disturbing others, you may have to acquire a set of headphones.
  • 6. Why Education? He who opens a school door closes a prison. ―Victor Hugo Education is the power to think clearly, the power to act well in the world's work, and the power to appreciate life. ―Brigham Young
  • 7. Seminar Purpose • Describe parenting practices and home factors that contribute to school success. • Help parents set goals and make plans to create a strong tradition of learning in the home. • Identify challenges, obstacles, and opportunities at each level of schooling—from elementary school to college. • Guide parents as they try to shepherd their children through each school experience to a better and happier life.
  • 8. Seminar Importance and Content View the following video about a young boy’s struggles at school. Then answer the questions below. http://www.youtube.com/embed/n3R2byZtQ5M To view the video, click on the link above. If that doesn’t work, (a) click on the “Slide Show” menu, (b) select “From Current Slide,” and (c) click on the link (in slide-show mode). To end the slide show, right-click anywhere on the screen, and select “End show.” • What was most remarkable about the mother’s attitudes and actions in ensuring that her son got the help he needed at school? _____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ • Study the seminar content summary provided on the next four pages, and list topics you think will be of greatest importance to you and your family. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________
  • 9. Seminar Outline Getting Started: Four Basic Principles • Education is vital—we live to learn and grow • There are challenges, but we can overcome them • Parent involvement and family support are crucial to success • Parents need vision and focus: that is, they need to have clear goals and plans. . Part 1. From the Earliest Years, Parents Lay a Foundation for Learning • Cultivating positive attitudes and social skills • Fostering good work habits • Building academic skills • Embracing moral values and spiritual gifts Part 2. Through the School Years, Parents Guide and Support • Working in partnership with teachers and schools • Helping children transition to and meet the unique challenges of:  Elementary School  Middle School  High School  College
  • 10. Getting Started: Basic Principles Education Is Vital There Are Challenges Parent Involvement Is Crucial Parents Need Vision: Goals and Action Plans
  • 11. Part 1. From the Earliest Years, Parents Lay a Foundation for Learning • Confidence • Responsibility • Empathy/Sociability • Discipline • Gratitude • Organization • Curiosity • Persistence Cultivating Fostering Positive Good Work Attitudes Habits Embracing Building Spiritual Academic Gifts Skills • Faith • Reading/Listening • Repentance • Writing • Covenants • Math • Inner change • Learning Skills
  • 12.
  • 13. Using the Parent Guide This Parent Guide can be used as a textbook, workbook, reference/review tool, and seminar journal. Refer to it often to: • Clarify, review, and fix important concepts in your mind • Complete assignments and exercises • Link to and make notes on video presentations and Internet articles • Capture important thoughts and insights • Find answers to questions, and dig into important topics on your own • Record personal goals and plans related to the content of each lesson • Find special helps for Spanish speakers. You can either download/print the file out and work from a hard copy, or click “Save as” on the File menu to create a personalized electronic copy (and work from that). In any case, take the Parent Guide seriously. Its main purpose is to help you translate seminar concepts into goals and action plans for positive change in your home. (See the next slide for examples.)
  • 14. Think about It—What Do You Hope to Achieve as a Parent (and How)? Your Goals (What?) Your Plans (How?) Your Time Frame (When?) Examples. . . Examples for the education goal: For the listed education plans: Help my children become: --Read together more --Twice a week --Educated/skilled --Have more conversations --Every day during dinner --Honest/moral --Go to the library --Weekly in summer --Happy/confident --Pursue hobbies and interests --On Saturday afternoons --Hard-working/steady --Explore/travel/attend events --Once a month --Kind/generous --Provide a place to study --Today --Socially successful— --Set a time for homework --From 7 to 9 pm weekdays able to make friends, --Communicate with teachers --Monthly work well with others, --Monitor school progress --Weekly and establish long- --Drill math facts at home --While doing chores term relationships --Learn new words --On trips/at dinner Back to Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
  • 15. Getting Started: Four Basic Principles Hand in Hand for Education How Parents Help Children Succeed in School
  • 16. View View View View This is the “Getting Started” section. It covers four principles underlying all seminar content. Click on the “View” buttons to go to material relevant to particular principles. At the end of each sub-section, click “Return to Section Summary” to come back to this slide To Next Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
  • 17. Questions to Ponder as We Begin How important is education to your child's future? • What are the potential benefits of schooling? • Economic? Social? Physical? ________________________________________ • Emotional? Psychological? Spiritual? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ • Will education influence: • Your children's future friendships? ________________________________________ • Their life experiences? How? ________________________________________ • Their ability to serve others? How? ________________________________________ • Their marriage choices? ________________________________________ • The stability of their future families? ________________________________________ • The lives of their children? How? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ • Could it affect: • Their employment? Earning power? _________________________________________ • Job security? Benefits? Health? _________________________________________ • Chances to serve/job satisfaction? _________________________________________
  • 18. Principle 1: Education is Vital— We Live to Learn and Grow If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. --Derek Bok • Video: Five Ways Ed Pays (Launch slide show if needed; then click on the links below) http://www.youtube.com/embed/spNDLD2KRuA • Graph: Education affects life expectancy Life Expectancy at Age 25--by Education level--HUS11fig32.png • Graph: Education brings higher earnings, stable employment http://www.bls.gov/emp/ep_chart_001.htm • Article: Gordon B. Hinckley, Seek Learning http://www.lds.org/new-era/2007/09/words-of-the-prophet-seek- learning?lang=eng&query=learning+faith
  • 19. Take Action 1. Review and discuss the material on the previous page with your spouse or another parent. 2. Record on the journal worksheet (next page) any new thoughts, strong feelings, or personal resolutions you are inclined to make in response to what you have learned. 3. Print out copies of the Gordon B. Hinckley article. 4. Give them to your children, and read them together or individually. 5. Schedule an hour with the family to talk about the article, the importance of education, and how you might respond as a family to Hinckley’s counsel. 6. Record on the worksheet (next page) important ideas and plans.
  • 20. “Take Action” Worksheet Thoughts, feelings, and personal and family resolutions about “Seeking Learning” ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________
  • 21. Why the Quest to Learn? Learning is an eternal goal  David A. Bednar has said: The overarching purpose of our Heavenly Fathers’ great plan of happiness is to provide his spirit children with opportunities to learn. (Ensign, February 2008) But to what purpose is our learning?  Where will it lead us?  What will it ultimately allow us to do? Think about these questions, and record your answers below ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
  • 22. Learning Is a Commandment We are specifically challenged in scripture to: • “. . . study and learn, and become acquainted with all good books, • . . . with languages, tongues, and people.” (D&C 90:15) • “. . . seek . . . out of the best books words of wisdom . . . seek learning, even by study and also by faith.” (D&C 88:118) In more recent years, David O. McKay said: "The church stands for education. . . . Members . . . are admonished to acquire learning by study, and also by faith and prayer; to seek after everything that is virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy. " (Conference Report, April 1968, p. 93) The book of Doctrine and Covenants clarifies (at least in part) why : “. . . if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience . . . he will have so much the advantage in the world to come.” (D&C 130:19 These are inspiring quotes You might want to print them out, post them in a prominent place in your home, and set a goal of memorizing one or more of them with your children
  • 23. Learning Prepares Us for Worldly Work and Spiritual Service ". . . the world is competitive, more than it`s ever been. I believe men and women need to get . . . education which will enable them to meet the exigencies of life . . . to be prepared for a vastly broader scope [of work] than . . . ever . . . before.“ --Thomas S. Monson “Teach . . . diligently and my grace shall attend you, that you may be instructed more perfectly . . . in all things . . . both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth; • things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; • things which are at home, things which are abroad; • the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments . . . on the land; • and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms— that you may be prepared in all things when I shall send you again to magnify the calling whereunto I have called you . . . ” (D&C 88:78-80) Back to Section Summary
  • 24. Principle 2. There are Challenges, But We Can Overcome Them Remember Byron Pitts? http://youtu.be/JgDCSPHSg1s Launch slide show and click link; then answer the questions below. What obstacles and challenges did Pitts and his mother face? _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ What were his proudest and most discouraging moments? _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ How did he eventually learn to read and excel in school? What did that mean to him? _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________
  • 25. More on Obstacles and Challenges Based on this Byron Pitts video (and the earlier one), what role did his mother play in helping him overcome obstacles? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ What are the obstacles and challenges your children face in getting an education? Make a list below, and give each challenge a ranking from 1 to 5, where 1 = very serious and 5 = not very serious. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Refine and expand your list of challenges by comparing it with ours (on the next page), and then rank any new items you add.
  • 26. Reasons Why Young People Fail or Drop Out Some drop out because of family and financial problems. "My father wasn't even a teenager when his father died and he became a door-to-door salesman. . . . There wasn't money for him to stay in school, and his family needed everyone to contribute their share." --Emilio Estefan Others struggle with: • Reading or writing • The English language • Numbers and math • Distractions at home or in school • Discouragement or lack of confidence • Handicaps and learning disabilities • Feelings of boredom, rejection, or isolation • Lack of understanding of “hidden rules” and teacher/school expectations • The complexity of college application requirements and procedures
  • 27. Assignment: Strengths and Resources Do you believe your children can succeed in school? Make a list of strengths and resources that they (and you) bring to the task. Examples might include: • We are hard working. • We are determined and persistent. • We are smart and resourceful. • We can get help from friends, neighbors, relatives, our church, and other organizations. • We can find mentors, tutors, teachers, and counselors to help us. • We have God-given powers to grow, learn, change, and improve. • Heaven wants us to succeed and will open doors for us as we do our part. Compare your list of challenges and obstacles with your list of strengths and resources. The more clearly you (and your children) see your strengths and assets, the greater will be your confidence that education goals are attainable.
  • 28. Assignment Worksheet: Strengths and Resources List your children’s strengths and resources below. ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________
  • 29. Brainstorming Exercise: Overcoming Challenges View videos by clicking on the two links below (in slide-show mode) Lamar Johnson’s Grit http://youtu.be/F4zvzTj6wlg Comments of First-Generation College Students http://youtu.be/FyJRiCWy7xo Think creatively about how you might help your children imitate the students in the videos who overcame serious challenges and obstacles) Brainstorm freely. And record on the next page all the ideas that come— even the crazy ones. Ideas feed on ideas, and even wild, seemingly impractical thoughts can sometimes suggest viable and effective strategies (as you continue to think about them over time).
  • 30. Brainstorming Worksheet— Overcoming Obstacles How might you help your children overcome the most serious obstacles to their school success? Ideas: _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________
  • 31. Hope for School Success Can Spring from a Vision of Who We Are We all have weaknesses and obstacles to overcome. But the scriptures paint an inspiring picture of our potential. They speak of “fathers of our flesh” (our earthly parents) and a “father of spirits” (Hebrews 12:9). They suggest that we are dual beings--with a physical inheritance obtained from our earthly parents and an inner spiritual inheritance (a kind of spiritual DNA) received from God himself. We are not just weak mortals. We are sons and daughters of God—sent to earth to gain knowledge and experience. It follows that, whatever our earthly backgrounds, we have untapped (and often unrecognized) spiritual gifts. We possess, in embryo, at least some of our Eternal Father’s great qualities. He invites and challenges us to magnify them. This should give us a large measure of hope and confidence in all our earthly struggles. Armed with this vision of our true identity, we (and our children) can embrace the hope of overcoming any challenges and obstacles to getting a good education. All it takes is commitment, attention, and effort. Back to Section Summary
  • 32. Principle 3. Parent Involvement and Family Support Are Crucial to Success Parent attitudes, expectations, and involvement are important to a child’s educational success. Studies show that they affect school achievement at every level—more than material home circumstances or variations in school and classroom organization, instructional materials, and teaching practices. This is why we should talk to our children often about education (and start early). This is why we should work hard to establish a learning partnership with each child (and with the schools). Many parents shy away from getting involved with teachers and schools. That approach results (on average) in a less than 30% chance for a college degree. Parents who do get involved and who encourage children to take more and more responsibility for their education can raise those odds significantly.
  • 33. Assignment: Understanding the Impact of Parental Involvement In slide-show mode, click on the Parent Involvement video and article links below, and then (based on the content) answer the questions posed on the next two pages. Video: Parent Involvement in Education http://youtu.be/-z-A77ybAuA Article: Parent Involvement in Children’s Education http://www.michigan.gov/documents/Final_Parent_Involvement_Fact_Sheet_14 732_7.pdf Article: The Importance of Mothers http://www.billmuehlenberg.com/2009/05/05/the-importance-of-motherhood/ Article: The Importance of Fathers http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/fatherhood/chaptertwo.cfm Article: More on the Fathers’ Role http://msuextension.org/publications/HomeHealthandFamily/MT200008HR.pdf
  • 34. Assignment Worksheet: Understanding the Impact of Parental Involvement What are the most consistent predictors of a child’s academic achievement? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ What are some effective ways parents can become involved? (List at least six.) _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________
  • 35. Assignment Worksheet: Understanding the Impact of Parental Involvement When should parents become involved (for best results)? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ What impact do parents’ expectations have on academic achievement? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Back to Section Summary
  • 36. Principle 4. Parents Need Vision: Goals and an Action Plan Goals and plans are important. They give us a vision of what we want to accomplish and help us get moving—with discipline—in the right direction. • As Yogi Berra put it (with tongue in cheek): “. . . if you don’t know where you’re going . . . you might not get there.” We invite you to take Yogi’s point to heart as you complete each seminar lesson (including this one),: • Review what you have learned—using the aids provided • Dig further into important topics (to find answers and get the big picture) • Define personal goals related to the major topics (and write them down) • Make plans to achieve those goals (write them down too). • Prioritize and specify a realistic time frame for implementation of your plans. Change is hard, and you probably won’t succeed if you try to tackle everything all at once. You can begin the process right now: • By reviewing lesson content, digging a little deeper to find answers to questions, and creating a list of personal and family goals and plans related to this lesson. (Make good use of the tools provided on the next few pages.)
  • 37. Lesson Summary: Getting Started—Four Basic Principles 1. Education is vital—we live to learn and grow • Learning prepares us for meaningful work and service • It can enhance security, health, wealth, family life, and job satisfaction 2. There are challenges, but we can overcome them • We have strengths and resources sufficient to the task: • Determination, good work habits, personal strengths • Community and family ties • Spiritual gifts 3. Parent involvement and strong family support are crucial to success • Kids need guidance, example, and support • Parents should establish a working partnership with the schools 4. Parents need vision: goals and action plans • Clearer ideas about what good parenting is • Realistic goals and plans for your children and the home environment
  • 38. Find Answers, Get the Bigger Picture— Dig into Key Lesson Topics on Your Own Take a look at these reference links—and come back to them at the end of each lesson. They can help you deepen your understanding of important lesson topics. Lakeside Union School District University of Arkansas School Success Library (in English and Spanish) The Parenting Journey http://www.lakesideusd.org/stories/storyRea http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/p der$75 arenting/default.htm Includes dozens of tip sheets for parents on many A collection of “Travel Guides” for Parents (in different school-related topics --view topic list English and Spanish) addressing topics such as emotional and physical health, showing Education.com affection, understanding child • Educational activities and worksheets development, building character and • Easy-to-read articles. responsibility, encouraging a love of • Insightful video content learning, teaching values, and serving in the • A rich community that helps parents connect community • Information on schools The Family Journey http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/f Guiding Children Successfully (GCS) amily/default.htm http://www.arfamilies.org/child_care/gcs/def A concise description of characteristics of ault.htm strong families Workshop on motivating kids, showing love, etc. Enrichment Materials by Topic
  • 39. More Tools for Digging Check out these additional learning resources (now and as you work through the seminar). Reference books Education: Catch the Dream (continued) http://www.Amazon.com Video 3—Introduction to the Program • Sharon L. Ramey, Going to School: How to http://youtu.be/ozJhgEqu0IQ Help Your Child Succeed. Video 4—Dreams Card Sort • Madeline Levine, Teach Your Children Well: http://youtu.be/nei_0VAIhIw Parenting for Authentic Success. Video 5—Education Catches Dreams • John R. Ban, PASS: Parents Assuring School http://youtu.be/ErBp-HezbQQ Success. Video 6—Latino Stats http://youtu.be/s-yaz9srJ3E Hundreds of Free Parenting Videos Video 7—Obstacles Card Sort http://www.5min.com http://youtu.be/Rmg5fQCQbZc Video 8—Resources Card Sort http://youtu.be/2_OoZNpZcL8 Education: Catch the Dream Video 9—Action (A Fine Program for Motivating Hispanic Youth) http://youtu.be/uwb8AuaC5Bg Video 1—Background Video 10—You Can Do It http://youtu.be/uQSDPRRBCAY http://youtu.be/ppvyz9P3aL4 Video 2—Motivational Theories http://youtu.be/BRC-aFlGPgA Helps for Hispanic Parents
  • 40. Summary of Goal-Setting and Planning Procedure As you complete each lesson: 1. Review and deepen understanding of what you have learned. 2. Revisit your lists of education challenges, family and personal strengths and resources, and ideas for overcoming obstacles. 3. Then work with your spouse to translate these ideas into GOALS and PLANS that seem practical and important. (A worksheet for doing this is provided on the next slide.) Documenting your goals and plans can bring discipline and action to what might otherwise be a passive learning experience. It can put you in a position to bless your children’s lives by making positive changes in your home now.
  • 41. Goal-Setting and Planning Form Getting Started—Basic Principles Your Goals (What?) Your Action Plan (How)? Time Frame (When?) _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ Back to Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
  • 42. Part 1: From the Earliest Years, Parents Lay a Foundation for Learning Hand in Hand for Education How Parents Help Children Succeed in School
  • 43. This panel describes the four Part 1 Lessons. To Next Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
  • 44. Overview of Part 1 Many parents assume that the most important thing they can do to help children succeed in school is to focus on reading, writing, and math skills at home. While there’s no doubt that basic academic skills are very important, non- academic factors are equally important. For example, consider the impact of: • Positive attitudes (confidence, hope, enthusiasm, curiosity, gratitude) • Social skills (the ability to relate to others, make friends, and work in groups) • Persistence, discipline, and good work habits • Moral values and spiritual gifts Positive, confident children do much better in school than those who are negative, fearful, and depressed. Children who are socially mature are happier in school than those who are not. Children who are persistent, organized, and hard- working naturally accomplish more than those who are flighty, unfocused, and lackadaisical. Children with spirituality and a strong moral compass are blessed in many ways. And children with strong academic skills are likely to succeed—precisely because of those skills. Part 1 will help you learn to build both ACADEMIC AND NON-ACADEMIC SKILLS at home.
  • 45. Lesson 1: Cultivating Positive Attitudes and Social Skills Hand in Hand for Education How Parents Help Children Succeed in School
  • 46. View View View View View View This is the Lesson 1 Summary. Four topics are addressed, and a fifth section, “Vision and Action,” provides review, enrichment, planning, and goal-setting tools. To view material on each topic, click the “View” buttons above. At the end of each section, you can either continue on or click “Back to Lesson Summary” to come back to this slide. To Next Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
  • 47. Cultivating Positive Attitudes and Social Skills— An Overview How do positive attitudes affect school performance? Confidence—believing in oneself—is an important contributor to school success. Confidence brings courage and motivation to engage and work in school. Fear and insecurity (the opposite of confidence) can paralyze children and set up roadblocks to exploration, growth, and learning. Confidence is based on a positive vision of the future. Children who lack such a vision often plateau in the present and become self-indulgent rather than hard-working and productive. Gratitude (the ability to recognize all the ways in which the glass is at least half full) builds cheerfulness, and a sense of well-being. These positive emotions carry over into school and other aspects of life, and they boost performance. Curiosity can turn the work of school into fun and make education interesting and exciting. Over the long haul, curiosity is a more stable and compelling driver of school success than “show-off” or “competition” motives.
  • 48. Overview (continued) How do social skills, empathy, and “emotional intelligence“ affect school performance? School is, in large part, a social experience. Children who are quick to make friends and who feel comfortable working in groups will do better (and be happier) there. Positive social relationships contribute to learning. If children are able to build positive relationships at school, they can learn as much from each other as from the teacher. And they will be happier and more engaged. Empathy and emotional intelligence (the ability to recognize and understand what we and other people are feeling) are important to social success and therefore to school success. Understanding one’s own emotions is an important aspect of emotional literacy. And it is a key to achieving self control. Thus, emotional literacy is correlated with good behavior and discipline in the classroom and at home. Core message embedded in Lesson 1: Parents need to find ways of building confidence, teaching gratitude, stimulating curiosity, and promoting sociability, empathy, and emotional literacy in the home.
  • 49. How Parents Build Confidence “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” --Mark Twain “Whenever I came into the room . . . *my grandmother would] light up, so happy to see me. . . . One person is all it takes to give a kid confidence.” --Adriana Trigiani Parents need to help children think more positively about themselves. But how? Parental statements to and about each child can be important in cultivating (or destroying) confidence. For example, children who receive many more criticisms than compliments at home do less well in school. They come to equate that criticism with failure and often pin a failure label on themselves. They carry the label with them into school and do not expect (or try) to do well. They may even come to resent direction or correction from any source.
  • 50. Be Positive and Generous with Praise Self-confidence and an ability to face challenges without fear and anxiety are key contributors to school success. Confidence can be built up or torn down by the tone of everyday conversations in the home. • If you focus on the positive—giving children honest praise for the good things they do and for their hard work—they will be more inclined to work, achieve, and embrace a positive view of themselves and their future. • If you flood their minds with negative comments and criticism, they are likely to become hesitant, listless, fearful, shallow, and self-indulgent—unwilling to embrace life’s challenges and take the risks crucial to learning, growth, and progress. Your goal as a parent should be to notice and praise your children’s real accomplishments. Catch them doing good things every day.
  • 51. Assignment: Focus on the Positive Put a card in your wallet or purse and for a week or two make a mark for each positive and negative comment you make to your children. At the end of the test period there should be many more marks in the positive column than in the negative. If there aren’t, run the test again, and try harder to focus on the positive. Enter results from the card here, and make an effort to do better and better each day. Positive Comments Negative Comments Week 1 _________________ __________________ _________________ __________________ Week 2 _________________ __________________ _________________ __________________
  • 52. Assignment: Effective and Ineffective Praise Do you think that all praise is of equal power in building confidence and a sense of competence in your children? The people who study these things say no. View the two videos and three articles below to find out what the experts have discovered. Take notes on what you hear and read. Let a day pass, and then review and reflect on your notes (and perhaps view the videos again). This is very important material. How to Praise Children http://youtu.be/Wqo4c-FlFGE Building Self Esteem in Children http://youtu.be/T3CD0_FGc_M I Think I Can! I Think I Can! http://www.nasponline.org/publications/cq/pdf/V39N3_FT_Self- Efficacy.pdf Self Efficacy http://www.education.com/reference/article/self-efficacy-children/ Praise Effectively http://www.incredibleyears.com/ParentResources/praise.pdf
  • 53. Assignment Worksheet: Effective and Ineffective Praise Notes on articles and videos _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ What kinds of praise are harmful? What kinds are helpful? Why? _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ What is a sense of “self-efficacy”? And how might you foster it in your children? _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________
  • 54. How Parents Teach Gratitude View the following videos, and summarize the most Important points below. Teaching Gratitude http://youtu.be/qGXXvoHUBLY Change Your Kids’ Attitude with Gratitude http://youtu.be/FEmRw9ms85k Important points ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________
  • 55. How Parents Can Boost a Child’s Social and Emotional IQ View the following videos, and summarize the main ideas on the next page Helping Kids Build Strong Social Connections http://youtu.be/MzatPjH7bkg Emotional Literacy http://youtu.be/I9xsr4Epd74 Children Learn What They Live http://youtu.be/EnpiagqQbjE Read the following articles, and compare the content with that of the videos Social Skills http://extension.oregonstate.edu/catalog/pdf/ec/ec1317-e.pdf Foster Social Connections http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/raising-happiness/201004/topic-the- month-fostering-social-connections Identify/Express Emotions http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/familytools/teaching_emotions.pdf Deal with Strong Emotions http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/insight/insight.pdf
  • 56. Worksheet: Boosting Your Child’s Social/Emotional IQ Notes on social and emotional literacy _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________
  • 57. The Value of Unstructured Play Kids need time to explore on their own and with their peers. Can you understand why that would be important? Unstructured play time is crucial to your children's physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development. Check out this quote: "Play is the most efficient driver of learning for children. This is as true of their cognitive development as their physical and emotional development. . . . Seven-year-olds Tyler and John are playing “chase” on the playground during recess. While this may look simply like a good way to burn off energy and calories—which alone is enough to recommend it—it is also a highly sophisticated social transaction. In order for the game to continue, each boy has to be willing to be both the chaser and the chased. In other words, both boys have to be willing to cooperate in order to participate in this game. Chase is a reciprocal activity and ends the moment one of the boys stops reciprocating. This ability to play reciprocally is a powerful predictor of academic success, as is the ability to empathize and cooperate. . . . (continued on next page) (Excerpted from Teach Your Children Well—Parenting for Authentic Success, Madeline Levine, Ph.D., Harper Collins, 2012, pp. 79-80.)
  • 58. Unstructured Play (continued) Over the last twenty years, kids have lost close to two hours of play every day, most of that unstructured play. And it is unstructured play that provides the greatest opportunities for kids to be curious, creative, spontaneous, and collaborative. In unstructured play, kids have to negotiate, they have to figure out how to settle differences, they have to learn how to cooperate, make the rules, and most important, learn how to “play by the rules.” Unstructured play, which should be part of every child’s life on a daily basis, lays the groundwork for social competence. . . . it is unstructured play that stimulates imagination, and it is imagination that is the underpinning of creativity, and, ultimately, innovation.“ (Excerpted from Teach Your Children Well—Parenting for Authentic Success, Madeline Levine, Ph.D., Harper Collins, 2012, pp. 79-80.) Go out and Play (Video) http://youtu.be/Oh77DsoOU_U Back to Lesson Summary
  • 59. Be Warm, Positive, Authoritative, and Consistent—Expect a Lot of Your Children “Nobody rises to low expectations.” —Calvin Lloyd “Children do not experience our intentions, no matter how heartfelt. They experience what we manifest in tone and behavior.” —Gordon Neufeld What kind of parent are you? What is your parenting style? • Uninvolved? • Indulgent? • Authoritarian? • Warm and authoritative? These may seem like abstract terms, but the patterns of behavior they represent have a real impact on the development (or destruction) of attitudes and skills crucial to school success: • Confidence • Openness • Motivation • Self-control
  • 60. Assignment: Understanding the Power of Warm, Authoritative Parenting 1. View these videos on parenting styles: Parenting Styles http://youtu.be/AGHyB9MsMho Parenting Styles http://youtu.be/4ZyhzYJAbJo Free-Range/Helicopter Parenting http://youtu.be/JcnO6eJGh9o 2. Read these articles on authoritative parenting: Parenting Styles http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting- style.htm Authoritative Parenting = Balance http://www.extension.umn.edu/specializations/familydevelopment/authpar .html Authoritative Parenting Definition http://psychology.about.com/od/childcare/f/authoritative-parenting.htm Responsive, Nurturing Parenting http://www.incredibleyears.com/ParentResources/responsive-parenting.pdf 3. Describe the benefits associated with a warm, authoritative parenting style ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
  • 61. Assignment: Responsive Discipline 1. View two videos from a Responsive Discipline course (No. 2. Authority and No. 3. Limits) http://www.youtube.com/user/casmith46 2. View video and documents about showing you care: 100 Ways to Show Children You Care http://youtu.be/6-q-o388Zhg 100 Ways to Show Children You Care (transcription of the video) 100 Ways to Show Children You Care.docx Showing Love http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/loveland.htm 3. Record ideas on how you might apply principles of authoritative parenting and responsive discipline in your home. _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________
  • 62. Assignment: A Detailed Self Evaluation Imagine that a stranger came to live in your home for a month and was able to witness all your interactions with your children. Suppose that at the end of the month: (a) You gave him the lists of positive and negative qualities shown on the next few pages, and (b) You asked him to rate you with regard to how often you demonstrated each one: 1 = Never 2 = Rarely 3 = Occasionally 4 = Regularly 5 = Almost always Go through the lists, and judge how an honest observer would rate you. If you don’t feel you can be objective, ask a close friend or family member to do the rating (emphasizing that you want honesty and candor, not flattery).
  • 63. Your Positive Qualities (List 1)— Circle the Most Accurate Number for Each How often do you: Never Rarely Occasionally Regularly Almost always Show affection? 1 2 3 4 5 Show acceptance? 1 2 3 4 5 Encourage autonomy? 1 2 3 4 5 Promote courage? 1 2 3 4 5 Encourage achievement? 1 2 3 4 5 Reinforce good habits? 1 2 3 4 5 Stimulate thinking? 1 2 3 4 5 Encourage social interaction? 1 2 3 4 5 Listen reflectively? 1 2 3 4 5 Show understanding? 1 2 3 4 5 Show fairness? 1 2 3 4 5 Appear relaxed? 1 2 3 4 5 Show support? 1 2 3 4 5 Build positive self-concept? 1 2 3 4 5 Show respect? 1 2 3 4 5 Give of self freely? 1 2 3 4 5 Stimulate critical thinking? 1 2 3 4 5 Control urges to be critical? 1 2 3 4 5 Accept mistakes? 1 2 3 4 5 Take time to train/teach? 1 2 3 4 5
  • 64. Your Positive Qualities (List 2)— Circle the Most Accurate Number for Each How often do you: Never Rarely Occasionally Regularly Almost always Actually act, not just talk? 1 2 3 4 5 Show firmness without 1 2 3 4 5 dominating? Show consistency in 1 2 3 4 5 expectations? Model expected behavior? 1 2 3 4 5 Love the child, but correct 1 2 3 4 5 the behavior? Show patience? 1 2 3 4 5 Project happiness? 1 2 3 4 5 Show consideration? 1 2 3 4 5 Demonstrate trust? 1 2 3 4 5 Model moral behavior? 1 2 3 4 5
  • 65. Your Negative Qualities— Circle the Most Accurate Number for Each How often do you/are you: Never Rarely Occasionally Regularly Almost always Cold? 1 2 3 4 5 Punishing? 1 2 3 4 5 Rejecting? 1 2 3 4 5 Hostile? 1 2 3 4 5 Rigid? 1 2 3 4 5 Belittling? 1 2 3 4 5 Critical? 1 2 3 4 5 Unaccepting? 1 2 3 4 5 Neglectful? 1 2 3 4 5 Authoritarian? 1 2 3 4 5 Nagging? 1 2 3 4 5 Overprotective? 1 2 3 4 5 Overindulgent? 1 2 3 4 5 Reward fearful behavior? 1 2 3 4 5 Suspicious? 1 2 3 4 5 Reward immature behavior? 1 2 3 4 5 Anti-independence? 1 2 3 4 5 Pro-extreme-conformity? 1 2 3 4 5 Controlling? 1 2 3 4 5 Harm positive self-concept? 1 2 3 4 5
  • 66. Review Results, Take Action, Make Changes When you have finished with your self-evaluation: • Review the results. • Make a personal commitment to work on any items in the positive lists with a rating of 1 or 2. • Commit yourself to work on items in the negative list with a rating of 4 or 5. • Reevaluate yourself weekly on each of those targeted items. Back to Lesson Summary
  • 67. Parents Stimulate Curiosity by Welcoming Questions “Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel.” —Socrates Curiosity is an inner desire to understand— a passion for asking questions and finding answers. Most children ask a lot of questions. It’s instinctive. And that's a good thing. Behind each question is a seed of wonder and interest, which we want to cultivate and encourage. But sometimes, the seemingly endless stream of questions gets on our nerves. How do you typically respond to your children’s questions? How should you respond? There are at least three options: • You can ignore them. • You can give them a quick answer and let it go at that. • You can take a personal interest in their question and work with them to find answers. Which do you think would be the best strategy? If you welcome questions and develop the habit of asking many yourself (and if you work with your children to find answers), they will likely join you in a lifelong quest for learning and education. If you don’t, the flame of curiosity may flicker and die.
  • 68. Questions and the Love of Learning Read the articles, view the video, and familiarize yourself with the Web sites referenced below. Capture good ideas on how to nurture curiosity. Articles, Video, and Web Sites Questions and the Love of Learning http://voices.yahoo.com/encouraging-children-love-learn- 3349602.html?cat=25 Questions in Early Learning http://life.familyeducation.com/communication/family- time/36021.html?page=3 Why Do You Hiccup? http://youtu.be/gXyBNvD2B-g Wonderopolis.org http://wonderopolis.org/wonders/ Curiosity—a Collection of Articles and Activities http://www.scholastic.com/parents/search/tags?tag=curiosity 100 Questions to Ask Kids http://life.familyeducation.com/communication/family- Back to Lesson Summary time/36021.html?page=3
  • 69. Parents Stimulate Curiosity by Inviting Children to Explore the World The world is a fascinating place. And somehow, we need to communicate that to our children. School can be a great adventure. But in many cases it will only be so if we initiate them first into the joys of learning, discovery, and exploration. The simple truth is that the more things we expose children to—the more we poke around with them, demonstrating openness to and interest in the world— the more likely they are to discover at some point what intrigues them. And then, the battle is won.
  • 70. Family Activities, Field Trips, and Outings Can you think of some ways of exploring the world as a family? Here are some ideas: • Take walks, ask questions, and talk about what you see • Read together, and pursue hobbies and personal interests • Show your children how things work • Visit family and friends, and invite them tell you their stories and describe their interests • Learn about your ancestors, and put a photo album together • Arrange for visits to fire stations, factories, mills, workshops, and interesting local businesses • Attend concerts, shows, plays, and festivals • Visit museums, parks, historic sites, and scenic wonders • Take a trip or go on a picnic • Find Internet resources that can teach, inspire, and stimulate curiosity
  • 71. Assignment: Family Outings “We can best help children learn . . . by making the world . . . accessible to them . . .” —John Holt 1. Think about the quote above. 2. View the four videos and "virtual tour" Web site below. Family Field Trip to Ganyard Hill Farm http://youtu.be/XMlfUon3qoM Family Field Trip to Washington, D.C. http://youtu.be/i-O55gHAuXc H Is for Hot Air Balloon http://youtu.be/UtvcR347Z2E Family Field Trip to Dad’s Workplace http://youtu.be/02IZqUjHqyU Back to Lesson Summary Virtual Tours of Scenic and Historic Places http://www.theteachersguide.com/virtualtours.html 3. Then make a list of things you might want explore with your children over the next few months. Take your time. Make a plan. Carry it out. And watch for the sparks.
  • 72. Summary of Part 1 Lesson 1— Cultivating Positive Attitudes and Social Skills Build children’s confidence: • Be positive and generous with focused praise • Praise effort, hard work, growth, and progress— not raw intelligence or talent. • Blend high expectations with warmth and responsiveness—adopt an authoritative parenting style, and practice responsive discipline Teach gratitude • Help children keep a gratitude journal • Each evening, ask about “the three best things that happened today” • From time to time, encourage children write, deliver, and read out loud a “gratitude letter” to someone they appreciate Foster social maturity, empathy, and emotional intelligence • As a family, be sociable, interact with others, make time for unstructured play • Acknowledge strong emotions, become an “emotion coach,” teach self control Nurture curiosity • Welcome questions and find answers together • Explore the world (and your community) together via regular family outings
  • 73. Lesson 1 Review Questions and Exercises Be Positive, People-Oriented, and Generous with Praise 1. Why are confidence, empathy, gratitude, and curiosity important to education success? 2. Based on what you have learned, what kind of praise is most helpful and motivating in building confidence in children and youth? 3. What does it mean to have a sense of self-efficacy? Is it different from self-esteem? In what ways? How do children develop a sense of self-efficacy? 4. Are hope, optimism, gratitude, and positive views of the future important to personal happiness, growth, and achievement? Why? In the family setting, do you generally project those attitudes? What could you do to improve? 5. One way of focusing on the positive in your home is to feel and openly express gratitude. You might want to plan a formal “Count Your Blessings” night in which each family member (including yourself) is invited to tell about things (or people) he or she is most thankful for. 6. Think about each of your children, and make a list of their recent accomplishments. Try to understand specifically what was behind each achievement (effort, practice, study, planning, determination, problem- solving, focus, persistence, thoughtfulness, etc.) Then acknowledge those things and praise your children for them. 7. How can you boost your children’s social/emotional IQ?
  • 74. Lesson 1 Review Questions and Exercises (continued) Blend High Expectations with Warmth and Responsiveness 1. How would you describe an authoritative parenting style (as opposed to an authoritarian style)? 2. What impacts do authoritative and authoritarian parenting styles generally have on kids? 3. What are the drawbacks to permissive and inattentive (or neglectful) parenting? 4. Think about your values, hopes, and goals for your children. Do you want them to become: • Kind, generous, and moral (possessing a clear sense of right and wrong)? • Socially skilled (able to form friendships and work well with others)? • Independent (able to make decisions and take responsibility for themselves)? • Intelligent and educated (with skills to serve and build and contribute) ? • Physically healthy (with energy to work and serve)? • Happy (with enthusiasm for life)? 5. Analyze how these values, hopes, and goals are reflected in your parenting practices and current family rules, routines, and standards. Look for inconsistencies, disconnects, and arbitrariness. Work with your spouse to refine and focus rules, routines, and parenting practices on these goals. 6. Make it a point periodically to review family rules with your children. Respect and welcome their comments, and communicate freely your thoughts and the reasoning behind the rules. Emphasize that your focus will always be on what is right rather than who is right. 7. Work through the material on showing love effectively in “The Parenting Journey” In English: http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/loveland/loveland.pdf In Spanish: http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/loveland/FCS402SP.pdf
  • 75. Lesson 1 Review Questions and Exercises (continued) Welcome Questions—and Find Answers Together 1. Why should we view children’s questions as a good thing? 2. How can we turn children’s questions from a burden and an annoyance into a pleasurable bonding experience? 3. Are you in the habit of asking yourself questions (and finding answers)? What would be the value of getting into that habit? 4. Go to http://Wonderopolis.org on the Internet, and click on the “Wonder of the Day” to preview how the Web site works. Read the question of the day, view the related video, and read the short written explanation under the video. • Then search the topic list (lower right) for subjects you know your children are interested in. • Click on one or two topics, and make a note of several funky questions related to the topics. • Pose those questions at the dinner table sometime, and invite your children to view the answers with you on the Internet. (You might even make this a daily or weekly “family question” ritual.) 5. Learn and show your children how to use reference books, libraries, Internet search engines (such as http://www.Google.com ) and encyclopedias (http://www.Wickipedia.com ) to look up answers to their questions. You might even find some interesting videos related to their questions on http://www/Youtube.com .
  • 76. Lesson 1 Review Questions and Exercises (continued) Explore the World around You 1. What kinds of things can children learn on “Family Field Trips”? 2. What could they learn from a simple walk around the neighborhood? 3. What could they learn by going to work with you? 4. Learn about parks, museums, zoos, gardens, public buildings, monuments, and historic sites in your local area, and make plans to visit some of them. 5. If possible, invite each child to spend a day (or part of a day) at work with you. Show them and talk to them about what you do. 6. Explore hobbies and interesting careers together. 7. Take your family to a play, concert, rodeo, sporting event, or parade and talk about it afterward.
  • 77. Find Answers, Get the Bigger Picture— Dig into Key Lesson Topics on Your Own Take a look at these reference links now—and come back to them at the end of each lesson. They can help you deepen your understanding of important lesson topics. Lakeside Union School District University of Arkansas School Success Library (in English and Spanish) The Parenting Journey http://www.lakesideusd.org/stories/storyRea http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/p der$75 arenting/default.htm Includes dozens of tip sheets for parents on many A collection of “Travel Guides” for Parents (in different school-related topics --view topic list English and Spanish) addressing topics such as emotional and physical health, showing Education.com affection, understanding child • Educational activities and worksheets development, building character and • Easy-to-read articles. responsibility, encouraging a love of • Insightful video content learning, teaching values, and serving in the • A rich community that helps parents connect community • Information on schools The Family Journey http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/f Guiding Children Successfully (GCS) amily/default.htm http://www.arfamilies.org/child_care/gcs/def A concise description of characteristics of ault.htm strong families Workshop on motivating kids, showing love, etc. Enrichment Materials by Topic
  • 78. More Tools for Digging Check out these additional learning resources (now and as you work through the seminar). Reference books Education: Catch the Dream (continued) http://www.Amazon.com Video 3—Introduction to the Program • Sharon L. Ramey, Going to School: How to http://youtu.be/ozJhgEqu0IQ Help Your Child Succeed. Video 4—Dreams Card Sort • Madeline Levine, Teach Your Children Well: http://youtu.be/nei_0VAIhIw Parenting for Authentic Success. Video 5—Education Catches Dreams • John R. Ban, PASS: Parents Assuring School http://youtu.be/ErBp-HezbQQ Success. Video 6—Latino Stats http://youtu.be/s-yaz9srJ3E Hundreds of Free Parenting Videos Video 7—Obstacles Card Sort http://www.5min.com http://youtu.be/Rmg5fQCQbZc Video 8—Resources Card Sort http://youtu.be/2_OoZNpZcL8 Education: Catch the Dream Video 9—Action (A Fine Program for Motivating Hispanic Youth) http://youtu.be/uwb8AuaC5Bg Video 1—Background Video 10—You Can Do It http://youtu.be/uQSDPRRBCAY http://youtu.be/ppvyz9P3aL4 Video 2—Motivational Theories http://youtu.be/BRC-aFlGPgA Helps for Hispanic Parents
  • 79. Goals and Plans for Lesson 1: Cultivating Positive Attitudes Part 1 Lesson 1 Your Goals (What?) Your Action Plan (How)? Time Frame (When?) _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ _____________________ _________________________ ______________________ Back to Lesson Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
  • 80. Lesson 2: Fostering Good Work Habits Hand in Hand for Education How Parents Help Children Succeed in School
  • 81. View View View View View This is the Lesson 2 Summary. Four topics are addressed, and a fifth section, “Vision and Action,” provides review, enrichment, planning, and goal-setting tools. To view material on each topic, click the “View” buttons above. At the end of each section, you can either continue on or click “Back to Lesson Summary” to come back to this slide To Next Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
  • 82. Fostering Good Work Habits— Responsibility, Discipline, Organization, Persistence “The most important thing parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.” —Frank Clark Teaching responsibility We all want our children to become hard-working, responsible adults: • To be dutiful and independent • To be organized • To do hard things (such as go to college) • To stick with important jobs until they are completed. But in subtle and not so subtle ways, we sometimes deprive them of the experience of doing these very things during the growing-up years. How could that happen? What would motivate it? What would be the likely consequence?
  • 83. Teach via Chores, Choices, and Consequences As you peruse the material below (and on the next page), take notes and think about how you might give your children more experience and encouragement in: • Making good choices • Experiencing consequences • Accepting responsibility • Working hard • Solving problems and overcoming obstacles • Persevering with difficult tasks until they are completed • Experiencing the joy of achievement Articles Age-Appropriate Chores http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/chores-for-children Giving Children Choices http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/character/giving_children_choices.htm Natural Consequences http://childparenting.about.com/library/weekly/aa102703a.htm Chore Charts http://orgjunkie.com/2009/05/free-printable-responsibility-chore-charts.html
  • 84. Chores, Choices, and Consequences (continued) Videos 10 Easy Chores for Teens http://youtu.be/D8bpY8zzaQw 5 Tips to Make a Kids’ Chore Chart http://youtu.be/XcQ1RtuhoFk How to Teach Children to Be Responsible? http://youtu.be/WyZcoiYZxmE How to Motivate Kids to Do Chores http://youtu.be/SU_yWD3poU0 Teaching Middle-Schoolers Responsibility and Independence http://youtu.be/jlmn4zhzcwU Consequences Are Essential http://youtu.be/rW3wqYE2yfE Using Logical Consequences http://youtu.be/KukQfLvgCk8 How to Raise Responsible Kids http://youtu.be/KYnJCJVtEUw
  • 85. Chores, Choices, and Consequences (Notes) Notes _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ Back to Lesson Summary
  • 86. Teach via Family Rules/Routines “A child wants some kind of undisrupted routine or rhythm. He seems to want a predictable, orderly world.” —Abraham Maslow What is the value of establishing and maintaining family rules and routines? Rules and routines give children a sense of order, organization, security, control, and predictability. Examples include behavior rules, morning routines, after-school routines, meal times, bed times, and limits on TV or other media. Although children may chafe against rules and structure from time to time, they reap significant benefits. Children from families with consistent standards and routines do better in school and in other arenas. Rules and routines seem to prepare them for the structure of classrooms and work and social environments.
  • 87. Establishing Family Rules and Routines What kinds of rules and routines would be helpful in your home? Rules for: • Meal times? • Bed times? • Study times? • Chore times? • Play times? • Reading times? • Family meetings and activity times? • TV and other electronic media? Check out the links on the next page for more ideas and suggestions.
  • 88. Establishing Family Rules and Routines (continued) Links Sample Family Rules http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/family-rules-top-10-rules- to-post-on-your-fridge/ Teaching Responsibility through Rules/Routines http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/character.htm Rules, Rituals, and Routines http://mothering.com/parenting/rules-rituals-and-routines?page=0,0 Road Map for Establishing Rules and Routines http://www.learningseed.com/_guides/1303_rules_rituals_routines_guide.p df Family Rules/Routines (Charts/Templates/Tips) http://www.incredibleyears.com/Resources/basic_school-age_program-10- handouts.pdf
  • 89. Establishing Family Rules and Routines (continued) Family Rules Definition Worksheet Use this worksheet to consider potential family rules. If you decide a rule is needed in a topic area, phrase it in the positive, rather than the negative. For example, “Eat only in the kitchen” means the same thing as “No eating in any room with a rug,” but it tends to be more “friendly.” Household responsibility and participation Homework _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Mealtimes Other school issues _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Snacking Indoor physical activity _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Other food concerns Extracurricular activities _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Privacy Sibling behavior _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Language Forbidden activities _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ TV and video games Telephone _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________
  • 90. Establishing Family Rules and Routines (continued) Family Rules Definition Worksheet (contd) Computer and Internet use Permissions _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Reading Modesty _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Pets and pet care Car _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Allowance Smoking, alcohol, and other drugs _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Earnings Curfew _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Savings Dating _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Family functions Sexual activity _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Guests Guests _______________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ Back to Lesson Summary
  • 91. Prize Effort, Practice, and Personal Progress— Help Children Experience the Joy of Growth “Every mountain top is within reach if you just keep climbing.” —Barry Finlay “Let failure be *a+ . . . workshop. See it for what it is; the world walking *us+ . . . through a tough but necessary semester, free of tuition.” —Steven Heighton Links to view and ponder What Is a “Growth Mindset” http://mindsetonline.com/whatisit/about/index.html Fostering Growth Mindsets http://youtu.be/o-SaTBg5eIc Prizing Effort http://youtu.be/2cB5yUPFLKI Letting Go of Being Perfect http://youtu.be/mAlg3BY2DJI
  • 92. Fixed and Growth Mindsets Back to Lesson Summary
  • 93. Impart the “Gift of Grit”— Achievement Motivation, Self-Discipline, Persistence “I will is more important than IQ.” —Marva Collins Grit One quality associated with educational success is "grit," which has been described as "perseverance and a passion for long-term goals." Gritty people possess persistence of motive and effort. They are more focused on winning the marathon than the sprint. Individuals with grit are able to maintain their determination and motivation over long periods of time despite experiences with failure and adversity. Their passion and commitment to a long-term objective is what provides the stamina required to stay the course. But how does a child develop grit? In slide-show mode, click on the links below (and on the next page) for some good ideas: Raising Gritty Kids http://happyfamiliesblog.blogspot.com/2011/06/raising-gritty-kids.html Achievement Motivation http://youtu.be/6Jsui7ppoFw Five Lessons on Self-Discipline for Kids http://learningtogive.org/lessons/unit538/
  • 94. Raising “Gritty Kids” (continued) Check out these documents Activities That Teach Perseverance Activities That Teach Perseverance Activities That Teach Planning and Organization Activities That Teach Planning and Organization The Power of Deferred Gratification (Article and Links) Deferred Gratification (Article and Links) Back to Lesson Summary
  • 95. Summary of Lesson 2— Fostering Good Work Habits Teach via Chores, Choices, and Consequences Teach children to work by giving them regular responsibilities at home. From the earliest years, invite them to make age-appropriate choices. Allow them to experience the logical and natural consequences of their actions. Teach via Family Rules and Routines Establish family rules that reflect your values and goals. Establish routines and structure in the home (to help children learn discipline, responsibility, and organization). Prize Effort, Practice, and Personal Progress Praise and reward effort. Embrace a growth (rather than a fixed) mindset. Recognize that failure can be a powerful teacher. Impart the “Gift of Grit”—Achievement Motivation, Self-Discipline, Persistence Teach values of achievement, persistence, self control, and delayed gratification.
  • 96. Lesson 2 Review Questions and Exercises Teach via Chores, Choices, and Consequences 1. What are some common mistakes parents make in trying to get kids to do chores? 2. What are some ways of getting the children’s cooperation in doing chores? 3. According to the articles you read in going over this lesson, what are some chores suitable for an 8- or 9-year-old? 4. Should very young children be allowed to make choices? Why or why not? 5. What should you do if your children make choices that you consider to be foolish? 6. What is the difference between a natural consequence and a logical consequence? 7. Under what circumstances should you (a) allow natural consequences to teach your child, or (b) step in to impose a logical consequence? 8. Review the material on giving children choices in “The Parenting Journey”: In English or Spanish: http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/discovery/discovery_point.pdf http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/discovery/FCS405SP.pdf 9. Hold a family meeting in which you talk about chores, choices, and consequences. 10. With input from your children, create a chore chart, post it in a prominent place, and use it as a tool to help your children develop practical skills and feel responsible for certain household functions.
  • 97. Lesson 2 Review Questions and Exercises (contd.) Teach via Family Rules and Routines 1. Critique your current family rules. 2. Explain why rules and their enforcement must be discussed with your children. 3. Explain why rules must be consistently enforced. 4. In one of the articles you read, Thomas Knestrick said: “I believe that routines are . . . the fundamental building blocks of self-discipline and self-monitoring.” What do you think he meant by that? 5. Explain why predictability is important for children and families. 6. What are family “rituals”? How do they differ from routines? And why are they important? 7. Describe the process you might go through in developing and implementing a new set of family rules aligned with your values. 8. List three routines that you would like to implement in your home, and explain what impact they would have on you and your family. 9. Explain what “rituals” you would like to implement with your family and how they might help your children.
  • 98. Lesson 2 Review Questions and Exercises (contd.) Prize Effort, Practice, and Personal Progress—Help Kids Experience the Joy of Growth 1. What is a “growth mindset”? 2. How does it differ from a “fixed mindset”? 3. How does a growth mindset affect a child’s attitude toward challenges, obstacles, effort, failure, criticism, and the success of others? 4. Describe the “perils of perfectionism.” 5. Think of ways you could communicate to your children the dignity, joy, and value of sustained work, effort, and practice over long periods of time. 6. Map out a strategy now for reacting to your child’s failures—communicating effectively the idea that failure is not fatal—that it is a part of life, that we can learn from it, pick ourselves up, and move on.
  • 99. Lesson 2 Review Questions and Exercises (contd.) Impart the “Gift of Grit”—Achievement Motivation, Self-Discipline, and Persistence 1. What is “delayed gratification”? 2. What is “impulse control”? 3. How does discipline differ from self-discipline? 4. What is the difference between “self-discipline” and “self-motivation” 5. What is the role of goals in self-motivation? 6. What role does organization play in the attainment of goals? 7. Describe some activities you might use in your home to teach persistence. 8. Review material on values and family traditions in “The Parenting Journey” (available in English or Spanish): http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/reunion/reunion_springs.pdf http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/reunion/FCS406SP.pdf