This is Part 1 of a seminar titled: "Hand in Hand for Education--How Parents Help Children Succeed in School. Part 1 is titled: "From the Earliest Years, Parents Lay a Foundation for Learning." Topics addressed include: Cultivating Positive Attitudes and Social Skills, Fostering Good Work Habits, Building Academic Skills, and Embracing Spiritual Gifts.
2. Hand in Hand for Education—
How Parents Help Children Succeed in School
Content Summary for Part 1—Parents Lay a Foundation for Learning
The “learning panels” below summarize the content of Part 1 of an online seminar (accessible soon at
www.parentingforschoolsuccess.org ). To view a particular panel and slides associated with it, go to
the “Slide Show” menu, select “From Current Slide,” and then click on the panel of interest.
Welcome Panel Getting Started Overview of Part 1
Cultivating Positive Attitudes Fostering Good Work Habits
Building Academic Skills Embracing Spiritual Gifts
3. This is the Welcome panel. The next few slides provide an Overview of seminar content.
At the end of the section, click “Back to Section Summary” (in slide-show mode) to come
back to this slide.
To Next Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
4. Background
This PowerPoint presentation contains the essential content of an online seminar
designed to help parents help their children succeed in school.
The online seminar, available soon for free at www.parentingforschoolsuccess.org, describes:
• How parents can lay a solid foundation for school success from the earliest years.
• How parents effectively guide and support their children through the school years.
Our initial plan was to target parents in low-income immigrant or first-generation families.
However, every time we described our project to other parents, the response was the same:
“We need that too!” And so, we broadened our focus .
After a couple of months spent examining the research (and reflecting on experiences with our
own four children), we began to define major topics and look for material that could be used to
teach basic concepts. We were absolutely blown away by the wealth of excellent
videos, articles, brochures, and programs that we found—available to everyone—on the
Internet.
The next ten months were spent:
• Selecting those that best conveyed the principles we wanted to share . . . and then
• Organizing and sequencing them, providing transitions, and developing exercises to
engage parents and encourage them to apply key principles in their homes.
5. Background (continued)
We acknowledge the great contribution that organizations sponsoring these websites and
materials are making to parents and families. There are far too many to list them all here.
Be aware that we have chosen to provide our personal (Mormon) religious perspective on a few
of the topics because we think it is telling and important. But please recognize three things—the
seminar is for everyone, we are solely responsible for its content, and we do not represent any
particular organization, religious or otherwise.
We offer the seminar to you for two reasons:
• First, we hope that it will be helpful
• Second, we hope that you can help us improve it by providing feedback on
content, organization, and presentation.
We welcome (and invite) your comments and suggestions.
S. Kent Madsen, Ph.D., Romance Languages, Duke University ( s.kent.madsen@gmail.com )
Ella R. Madsen, M.S., Child Development, University of California, Davis
Note: In this presentation (and in the full seminar) we make extensive use of Internet videos. And so, for best
results, you will need access to a good Internet connection. If you have no home connection or if the one you have is
not fast enough to play the videos smoothly, try using computers at a local public library, business, church, or friend’s
home. To do this without disturbing others, you may have to acquire a set of headphones.
6. Why Education?
He who opens a school door
closes a prison.
―Victor Hugo
Education is the power to think
clearly, the power to act well in
the world's work, and the power
to appreciate life.
―Brigham Young
7. Seminar Purpose
• Describe parenting practices
and home factors that
contribute to school success.
• Help parents set goals and make plans to create a strong
tradition of learning in the home.
• Identify challenges, obstacles, and opportunities at each
level of schooling—from elementary school to college.
• Guide parents as they try to shepherd their children
through each school experience to a better and happier
life.
8. Seminar Importance and Content
View the following video about a young boy’s struggles
at school. Then answer the questions below.
http://www.youtube.com/embed/n3R2byZtQ5M
To view the video, click on the link above. If that doesn’t
work, (a) click on the “Slide Show” menu, (b) select “From
Current Slide,” and (c) click on the link (in slide-show mode). To end the slide
show, right-click anywhere on the screen, and select “End show.”
• What was most remarkable about the mother’s attitudes and actions in
ensuring that her son got the help he needed at school?
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
• Study the seminar content summary provided on the next four pages, and
list topics you think will be of greatest importance to you and your family.
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
9. Seminar Outline
Getting Started: Four Basic Principles
• Education is vital—we live to learn and grow
• There are challenges, but we can overcome them
• Parent involvement and family support are crucial to success
• Parents need vision and focus: that is, they need to have clear goals and plans.
.
Part 1. From the Earliest Years, Parents Lay a Foundation for Learning
• Cultivating positive attitudes and social skills
• Fostering good work habits
• Building academic skills
• Embracing moral values and spiritual gifts
Part 2. Through the School Years, Parents Guide and Support
• Working in partnership with teachers and schools
• Helping children transition to and meet the unique challenges of:
Elementary School
Middle School
High School
College
10. Getting Started: Basic Principles
Education Is Vital
There Are Challenges
Parent Involvement Is Crucial
Parents Need Vision:
Goals and Action Plans
11. Part 1. From the Earliest Years,
Parents Lay a Foundation for Learning
• Confidence • Responsibility
• Empathy/Sociability • Discipline
• Gratitude • Organization
• Curiosity • Persistence
Cultivating Fostering
Positive Good Work
Attitudes Habits
Embracing Building
Spiritual Academic
Gifts Skills
• Faith • Reading/Listening
• Repentance • Writing
• Covenants • Math
• Inner change • Learning Skills
12.
13. Using the Parent Guide
This Parent Guide can be used as a textbook,
workbook, reference/review tool, and seminar journal.
Refer to it often to:
• Clarify, review, and fix important concepts in your mind
• Complete assignments and exercises
• Link to and make notes on video presentations and Internet articles
• Capture important thoughts and insights
• Find answers to questions, and dig into important topics on your own
• Record personal goals and plans related to the content of each lesson
• Find special helps for Spanish speakers.
You can either download/print the file out and work from a hard copy, or click “Save
as” on the File menu to create a personalized electronic copy (and work from that).
In any case, take the Parent Guide seriously. Its main purpose is to help you
translate seminar concepts into goals and action plans for positive change in your
home. (See the next slide for examples.)
14. Think about It—What Do You Hope
to Achieve as a Parent (and How)?
Your Goals (What?) Your Plans (How?) Your Time Frame (When?)
Examples. . . Examples for the education goal: For the listed education plans:
Help my children become: --Read together more --Twice a week
--Educated/skilled --Have more conversations --Every day during dinner
--Honest/moral --Go to the library --Weekly in summer
--Happy/confident --Pursue hobbies and interests --On Saturday afternoons
--Hard-working/steady --Explore/travel/attend events --Once a month
--Kind/generous --Provide a place to study --Today
--Socially successful— --Set a time for homework --From 7 to 9 pm weekdays
able to make friends, --Communicate with teachers --Monthly
work well with others, --Monitor school progress --Weekly
and establish long- --Drill math facts at home --While doing chores
term relationships --Learn new words --On trips/at dinner
Back to Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
15. Getting Started:
Four Basic
Principles
Hand in Hand for Education
How Parents Help Children Succeed in School
16. View
View
View
View
This is the “Getting Started” section. It covers four principles underlying all seminar content.
Click on the “View” buttons to go to material relevant to particular principles. At the end of
each sub-section, click “Return to Section Summary” to come back to this slide
To Next Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
17. Questions to Ponder
as We Begin
How important is education to your child's future?
• What are the potential benefits of schooling?
• Economic? Social? Physical? ________________________________________
• Emotional? Psychological? Spiritual? ________________________________________
________________________________________
• Will education influence:
• Your children's future friendships? ________________________________________
• Their life experiences? How? ________________________________________
• Their ability to serve others? How? ________________________________________
• Their marriage choices? ________________________________________
• The stability of their future families? ________________________________________
• The lives of their children? How? ________________________________________
________________________________________
• Could it affect:
• Their employment? Earning power? _________________________________________
• Job security? Benefits? Health? _________________________________________
• Chances to serve/job satisfaction? _________________________________________
18. Principle 1: Education is Vital—
We Live to Learn and Grow
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. --Derek Bok
• Video: Five Ways Ed Pays
(Launch slide show if needed; then click on the links below)
http://www.youtube.com/embed/spNDLD2KRuA
• Graph: Education affects life expectancy
Life Expectancy at Age 25--by Education level--HUS11fig32.png
• Graph: Education brings higher earnings, stable employment
http://www.bls.gov/emp/ep_chart_001.htm
• Article: Gordon B. Hinckley, Seek Learning
http://www.lds.org/new-era/2007/09/words-of-the-prophet-seek-
learning?lang=eng&query=learning+faith
19. Take Action
1. Review and discuss the material on
the previous page with your spouse or another parent.
2. Record on the journal worksheet (next page) any new
thoughts, strong feelings, or personal resolutions you are
inclined to make in response to what you have learned.
3. Print out copies of the Gordon B. Hinckley article.
4. Give them to your children, and read them together or
individually.
5. Schedule an hour with the family to talk about the
article, the importance of education, and how you might
respond as a family to Hinckley’s counsel.
6. Record on the worksheet (next page) important ideas and
plans.
20. “Take Action” Worksheet
Thoughts, feelings, and personal and
family resolutions about “Seeking Learning”
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
21. Why the Quest to Learn?
Learning is an eternal goal
David A. Bednar has said:
The overarching purpose of our
Heavenly Fathers’ great plan of
happiness is to provide his spirit
children with opportunities to learn.
(Ensign, February 2008)
But to what purpose is our learning?
Where will it lead us?
What will it ultimately allow us to do?
Think about these questions, and record your answers below
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
22. Learning Is a Commandment
We are specifically challenged in scripture to:
• “. . . study and learn, and become acquainted with all
good books,
• . . . with languages, tongues, and people.” (D&C 90:15)
• “. . . seek . . . out of the best books words of wisdom . . .
seek learning, even by study and also by faith.”
(D&C 88:118)
In more recent years, David O. McKay said:
"The church stands for education. . . . Members . . . are admonished to
acquire learning by study, and also by faith and prayer; to seek after
everything that is virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy. "
(Conference Report, April 1968, p. 93)
The book of Doctrine and Covenants clarifies (at least in part) why :
“. . . if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through
his diligence and obedience . . . he will have so much the advantage in the
world to come.” (D&C 130:19
These are inspiring quotes
You might want to print them out, post them in a prominent place in your
home, and set a goal of memorizing one or more of them with your children
23. Learning Prepares Us for Worldly Work
and Spiritual Service
". . . the world is competitive, more than it`s ever been.
I believe men and women need to get . . . education
which will enable them to meet the exigencies of life . . .
to be prepared for a vastly broader scope [of work] than
. . . ever . . . before.“ --Thomas S. Monson
“Teach . . . diligently and my grace shall attend you, that you may be instructed more
perfectly . . . in all things . . . both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth;
• things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass;
• things which are at home, things which are abroad;
• the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments . . . on the land;
• and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms—
that you may be prepared in all things when I shall send you again to magnify the calling
whereunto I have called you . . . ” (D&C 88:78-80)
Back to Section Summary
24. Principle 2. There are Challenges,
But We Can Overcome Them
Remember Byron Pitts?
http://youtu.be/JgDCSPHSg1s
Launch slide show and click link; then answer the questions below.
What obstacles and challenges did Pitts and his mother face?
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
What were his proudest and most discouraging moments?
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
How did he eventually learn to read and excel in school? What did that mean to him?
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
25. More on Obstacles and Challenges
Based on this Byron Pitts video (and the earlier one), what
role did his mother play in helping him overcome obstacles?
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
What are the obstacles and challenges your children face in getting an education?
Make a list below, and give each challenge a ranking from 1 to 5, where 1 = very
serious and 5 = not very serious.
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
Refine and expand your list of challenges by comparing it with ours (on the next
page), and then rank any new items you add.
26. Reasons Why Young People Fail or Drop Out
Some drop out because of family and financial problems.
"My father wasn't even a teenager when his father
died and he became a door-to-door salesman. . . .
There wasn't money for him to stay in school, and his
family needed everyone to contribute their share."
--Emilio Estefan
Others struggle with:
• Reading or writing
• The English language
• Numbers and math
• Distractions at home or in school
• Discouragement or lack of confidence
• Handicaps and learning disabilities
• Feelings of boredom, rejection, or isolation
• Lack of understanding of “hidden rules” and teacher/school
expectations
• The complexity of college application requirements and procedures
27. Assignment:
Strengths and Resources
Do you believe your children can succeed in school?
Make a list of strengths and resources that they
(and you) bring to the task. Examples might
include:
• We are hard working.
• We are determined and persistent.
• We are smart and resourceful.
• We can get help from friends, neighbors, relatives, our church, and other
organizations.
• We can find mentors, tutors, teachers, and counselors to help us.
• We have God-given powers to grow, learn, change, and improve.
• Heaven wants us to succeed and will open doors for us as we do our part.
Compare your list of challenges and obstacles with your list of strengths and
resources. The more clearly you (and your children) see your strengths and
assets, the greater will be your confidence that education goals are attainable.
28. Assignment Worksheet:
Strengths and Resources
List your children’s strengths and resources below.
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
29. Brainstorming Exercise:
Overcoming Challenges
View videos by clicking on the two links
below (in slide-show mode)
Lamar Johnson’s Grit
http://youtu.be/F4zvzTj6wlg
Comments of First-Generation College Students
http://youtu.be/FyJRiCWy7xo
Think creatively about how you might help your children imitate the
students in the videos who overcame serious challenges and obstacles)
Brainstorm freely. And record on the next page all the ideas that come—
even the crazy ones. Ideas feed on ideas, and even wild, seemingly
impractical thoughts can sometimes suggest viable and effective
strategies (as you continue to think about them over time).
30. Brainstorming Worksheet—
Overcoming Obstacles
How might you help your children
overcome the most serious obstacles
to their school success?
Ideas:
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
31. Hope for School Success Can Spring
from a Vision of Who We Are
We all have weaknesses and obstacles to overcome.
But the scriptures paint an inspiring picture of our
potential.
They speak of “fathers of our flesh” (our earthly parents) and a “father of spirits”
(Hebrews 12:9). They suggest that we are dual beings--with a physical inheritance
obtained from our earthly parents and an inner spiritual inheritance (a kind of spiritual
DNA) received from God himself. We are not just weak mortals. We are sons and
daughters of God—sent to earth to gain knowledge and experience.
It follows that, whatever our earthly backgrounds, we have untapped (and often
unrecognized) spiritual gifts.
We possess, in embryo, at least some of our Eternal Father’s great qualities. He
invites and challenges us to magnify them. This should give us a large measure of
hope and confidence in all our earthly struggles.
Armed with this vision of our true identity, we (and our children) can embrace
the hope of overcoming any challenges and obstacles to getting a good
education. All it takes is commitment, attention, and effort. Back to Section Summary
32. Principle 3. Parent Involvement and Family
Support Are Crucial to Success
Parent attitudes, expectations, and involvement
are important to a child’s educational success.
Studies show that they affect school achievement at
every level—more than material home circumstances or variations in school and
classroom organization, instructional materials, and teaching practices.
This is why we should talk to our children often about education (and start early).
This is why we should work hard to establish a learning partnership with each child
(and with the schools).
Many parents shy away from getting involved with teachers and schools.
That approach results (on average) in a less than 30% chance for a college
degree. Parents who do get involved and who encourage children to take
more and more responsibility for their education can raise those odds
significantly.
33. Assignment: Understanding the
Impact of Parental Involvement
In slide-show mode, click on the Parent Involvement
video and article links below, and then (based on the
content) answer the questions posed on the next two pages.
Video: Parent Involvement in Education
http://youtu.be/-z-A77ybAuA
Article: Parent Involvement in Children’s Education
http://www.michigan.gov/documents/Final_Parent_Involvement_Fact_Sheet_14
732_7.pdf
Article: The Importance of Mothers
http://www.billmuehlenberg.com/2009/05/05/the-importance-of-motherhood/
Article: The Importance of Fathers
http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/fatherhood/chaptertwo.cfm
Article: More on the Fathers’ Role
http://msuextension.org/publications/HomeHealthandFamily/MT200008HR.pdf
34. Assignment Worksheet: Understanding the
Impact of Parental Involvement
What are the most consistent predictors of a child’s
academic achievement?
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
What are some effective ways parents can become involved? (List at least six.)
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
35. Assignment Worksheet: Understanding the
Impact of Parental Involvement
When should parents become involved (for best results)?
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
What impact do parents’ expectations have on academic achievement?
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
Back to Section Summary
36. Principle 4. Parents Need Vision:
Goals and an Action Plan
Goals and plans are important. They give us a vision of what we
want to accomplish and help us get moving—with discipline—in the
right direction.
• As Yogi Berra put it (with tongue in cheek):
“. . . if you don’t know where you’re going . . . you might not get there.”
We invite you to take Yogi’s point to heart as you complete each seminar lesson
(including this one),:
• Review what you have learned—using the aids provided
• Dig further into important topics (to find answers and get the big picture)
• Define personal goals related to the major topics (and write them down)
• Make plans to achieve those goals (write them down too).
• Prioritize and specify a realistic time frame for implementation of your plans.
Change is hard, and you probably won’t succeed if you try to tackle everything all
at once.
You can begin the process right now:
• By reviewing lesson content, digging a little deeper to find answers to
questions, and creating a list of personal and family goals and plans related to
this lesson. (Make good use of the tools provided on the next few pages.)
37. Lesson Summary:
Getting Started—Four Basic Principles
1. Education is vital—we live to learn and grow
• Learning prepares us for meaningful work and service
• It can enhance security, health, wealth, family life, and job satisfaction
2. There are challenges, but we can overcome them
• We have strengths and resources sufficient to the task:
• Determination, good work habits, personal strengths
• Community and family ties
• Spiritual gifts
3. Parent involvement and strong family support are crucial to success
• Kids need guidance, example, and support
• Parents should establish a working partnership with the schools
4. Parents need vision: goals and action plans
• Clearer ideas about what good parenting is
• Realistic goals and plans for your children and the home environment
38. Find Answers, Get the Bigger Picture—
Dig into Key Lesson Topics on Your Own
Take a look at these reference links—and come back to them at the end of each lesson.
They can help you deepen your understanding of important lesson topics.
Lakeside Union School District University of Arkansas
School Success Library (in English and Spanish) The Parenting Journey
http://www.lakesideusd.org/stories/storyRea http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/p
der$75 arenting/default.htm
Includes dozens of tip sheets for parents on many A collection of “Travel Guides” for Parents (in
different school-related topics --view topic list English and Spanish) addressing topics such
as emotional and physical health, showing
Education.com affection, understanding child
• Educational activities and worksheets development, building character and
• Easy-to-read articles. responsibility, encouraging a love of
• Insightful video content learning, teaching values, and serving in the
• A rich community that helps parents connect community
• Information on schools The Family Journey
http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/f
Guiding Children Successfully (GCS)
amily/default.htm
http://www.arfamilies.org/child_care/gcs/def
A concise description of characteristics of
ault.htm
strong families
Workshop on motivating kids, showing love, etc. Enrichment Materials by Topic
39. More Tools for Digging
Check out these additional learning resources (now and as you work through the seminar).
Reference books Education: Catch the Dream (continued)
http://www.Amazon.com Video 3—Introduction to the Program
• Sharon L. Ramey, Going to School: How to http://youtu.be/ozJhgEqu0IQ
Help Your Child Succeed. Video 4—Dreams Card Sort
• Madeline Levine, Teach Your Children Well: http://youtu.be/nei_0VAIhIw
Parenting for Authentic Success. Video 5—Education Catches Dreams
• John R. Ban, PASS: Parents Assuring School http://youtu.be/ErBp-HezbQQ
Success. Video 6—Latino Stats
http://youtu.be/s-yaz9srJ3E
Hundreds of Free Parenting Videos Video 7—Obstacles Card Sort
http://www.5min.com http://youtu.be/Rmg5fQCQbZc
Video 8—Resources Card Sort
http://youtu.be/2_OoZNpZcL8
Education: Catch the Dream
Video 9—Action
(A Fine Program for Motivating Hispanic Youth)
http://youtu.be/uwb8AuaC5Bg
Video 1—Background
Video 10—You Can Do It
http://youtu.be/uQSDPRRBCAY
http://youtu.be/ppvyz9P3aL4
Video 2—Motivational Theories
http://youtu.be/BRC-aFlGPgA Helps for Hispanic Parents
40. Summary of Goal-Setting
and Planning Procedure
As you complete each lesson:
1. Review and deepen understanding of
what you have learned.
2. Revisit your lists of education challenges, family and personal strengths
and resources, and ideas for overcoming obstacles.
3. Then work with your spouse to translate these ideas into GOALS and
PLANS that seem practical and important. (A worksheet for doing this is
provided on the next slide.)
Documenting your goals and plans can bring
discipline and action to what might otherwise be a
passive learning experience.
It can put you in a position to bless your children’s
lives by making positive changes in your home now.
41. Goal-Setting and Planning Form
Getting Started—Basic Principles
Your Goals (What?) Your Action Plan (How)? Time Frame (When?)
_____________________ _________________________ ______________________
_____________________ _________________________ ______________________
_____________________ _________________________ ______________________
_____________________ _________________________ ______________________
_____________________ _________________________ ______________________
_____________________ _________________________ ______________________
_____________________ _________________________ ______________________
_____________________ _________________________ ______________________
_____________________ _________________________ ______________________
_____________________ _________________________ ______________________
_____________________ _________________________ ______________________
_____________________ _________________________ ______________________
_____________________ _________________________ ______________________
_____________________ _________________________ ______________________
_____________________ _________________________ ______________________
_____________________ _________________________ ______________________
Back to Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
42. Part 1:
From the Earliest
Years, Parents
Lay a Foundation
for Learning
Hand in Hand for Education
How Parents Help Children Succeed in School
43. This panel describes the four Part 1 Lessons. To Next Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
44. Overview of Part 1
Many parents assume that the most important thing they can
do to help children succeed in school is to focus on
reading, writing, and math skills at home. While there’s no
doubt that basic academic skills are very important, non-
academic factors are equally important.
For example, consider the impact of:
• Positive attitudes (confidence, hope, enthusiasm, curiosity, gratitude)
• Social skills (the ability to relate to others, make friends, and work in groups)
• Persistence, discipline, and good work habits
• Moral values and spiritual gifts
Positive, confident children do much better in school than those who are
negative, fearful, and depressed. Children who are socially mature are happier in
school than those who are not. Children who are persistent, organized, and hard-
working naturally accomplish more than those who are flighty, unfocused, and
lackadaisical. Children with spirituality and a strong moral compass are blessed in
many ways. And children with strong academic skills are likely to succeed—precisely
because of those skills.
Part 1 will help you learn to build both ACADEMIC AND NON-ACADEMIC SKILLS at home.
45. Lesson 1:
Cultivating
Positive Attitudes
and Social Skills
Hand in Hand for Education
How Parents Help Children Succeed in School
46. View
View
View
View View
View
This is the Lesson 1 Summary. Four topics are addressed, and a fifth section, “Vision and
Action,” provides review, enrichment, planning, and goal-setting tools.
To view material on each topic, click the “View” buttons above. At the end of each section, you
can either continue on or click “Back to Lesson Summary” to come back to this slide.
To Next Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
47. Cultivating Positive Attitudes and Social Skills—
An Overview
How do positive attitudes affect school performance?
Confidence—believing in oneself—is an important contributor to
school success. Confidence brings courage and motivation to engage and work in school.
Fear and insecurity (the opposite of confidence) can paralyze children and set up roadblocks
to exploration, growth, and learning.
Confidence is based on a positive vision of the future. Children who lack such a vision often
plateau in the present and become self-indulgent rather than hard-working and
productive.
Gratitude (the ability to recognize all the ways in which the glass is at least half full)
builds cheerfulness, and a sense of well-being. These positive emotions carry over
into school and other aspects of life, and they boost performance.
Curiosity can turn the work of school into fun and make education
interesting and exciting. Over the long haul, curiosity is a more stable
and compelling driver of school success than “show-off” or
“competition” motives.
48. Overview (continued)
How do social skills, empathy, and “emotional intelligence“
affect school performance?
School is, in large part, a social experience. Children who are quick to make friends and
who feel comfortable working in groups will do better (and be happier) there.
Positive social relationships contribute to learning. If children are able to build positive
relationships at school, they can learn as much from each other as from the teacher. And
they will be happier and more engaged.
Empathy and emotional intelligence (the ability to recognize and understand what we and other
people are feeling) are important to social success and therefore to school success.
Understanding one’s own emotions is an important aspect of emotional literacy. And it is a
key to achieving self control. Thus, emotional literacy is correlated with good behavior and
discipline in the classroom and at home.
Core message embedded in Lesson 1:
Parents need to find ways of building confidence, teaching gratitude, stimulating
curiosity, and promoting sociability, empathy, and emotional literacy in the home.
49. How Parents Build Confidence
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
--Mark Twain
“Whenever I came into the room . . . *my grandmother would]
light up, so happy to see me. . . . One person is all it takes to give a kid confidence.”
--Adriana Trigiani
Parents need to help children think more positively about themselves.
But how? Parental statements to and about each child can be important in
cultivating (or destroying) confidence.
For example, children who receive many more criticisms than
compliments at home do less well in school. They come to equate that
criticism with failure and often pin a failure label on themselves.
They carry the label with them into school and do not expect (or try) to
do well. They may even come to resent direction or correction from any
source.
50. Be Positive and Generous with Praise
Self-confidence and an ability to face challenges
without fear and anxiety are key contributors to
school success.
Confidence can be built up or torn down by the tone
of everyday conversations in the home.
• If you focus on the positive—giving children honest praise for the good things
they do and for their hard work—they will be more inclined to
work, achieve, and embrace a positive view of themselves and their future.
• If you flood their minds with negative comments and criticism, they are likely
to become hesitant, listless, fearful, shallow, and self-indulgent—unwilling to
embrace life’s challenges and take the risks crucial to learning, growth, and
progress.
Your goal as a parent should be to notice and praise your children’s real
accomplishments. Catch them doing good things every day.
51. Assignment: Focus on the Positive
Put a card in your wallet or purse and for a
week or two make a mark for each positive and
negative comment you make to your children.
At the end of the test period there should be
many more marks in the positive column than
in the negative.
If there aren’t, run the test again, and try
harder to focus on the positive.
Enter results from the card here, and make an effort to do better and better each day.
Positive Comments Negative Comments
Week 1 _________________ __________________
_________________ __________________
Week 2 _________________ __________________
_________________ __________________
52. Assignment: Effective and Ineffective Praise
Do you think that all praise is of equal power in building confidence and a sense
of competence in your children? The people who study these things say no.
View the two videos and three articles below to find out what the experts have
discovered. Take notes on what you hear and read. Let a day pass, and then review
and reflect on your notes (and perhaps view the videos again).
This is very important material.
How to Praise Children
http://youtu.be/Wqo4c-FlFGE
Building Self Esteem in Children
http://youtu.be/T3CD0_FGc_M
I Think I Can! I Think I Can!
http://www.nasponline.org/publications/cq/pdf/V39N3_FT_Self-
Efficacy.pdf
Self Efficacy
http://www.education.com/reference/article/self-efficacy-children/
Praise Effectively
http://www.incredibleyears.com/ParentResources/praise.pdf
53. Assignment Worksheet:
Effective and Ineffective Praise
Notes on articles and videos
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
What kinds of praise are harmful? What kinds are helpful? Why?
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
What is a sense of “self-efficacy”? And how might you foster it in your
children?
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
54. How Parents Teach Gratitude
View the following videos, and summarize the most
Important points below.
Teaching Gratitude
http://youtu.be/qGXXvoHUBLY
Change Your Kids’ Attitude with Gratitude
http://youtu.be/FEmRw9ms85k
Important points
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
55. How Parents Can Boost a Child’s
Social and Emotional IQ
View the following videos, and summarize the main ideas on the next page
Helping Kids Build Strong Social Connections
http://youtu.be/MzatPjH7bkg
Emotional Literacy
http://youtu.be/I9xsr4Epd74
Children Learn What They Live
http://youtu.be/EnpiagqQbjE
Read the following articles, and compare the content with that of the videos
Social Skills
http://extension.oregonstate.edu/catalog/pdf/ec/ec1317-e.pdf
Foster Social Connections
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/raising-happiness/201004/topic-the-
month-fostering-social-connections
Identify/Express Emotions
http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/familytools/teaching_emotions.pdf
Deal with Strong Emotions
http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/insight/insight.pdf
56. Worksheet: Boosting Your Child’s
Social/Emotional IQ
Notes on social and emotional literacy
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
57. The Value of Unstructured Play
Kids need time to explore on their own and with their
peers. Can you understand why that would be important?
Unstructured play time is crucial to your children's physical,
emotional, social, and intellectual development. Check
out this quote:
"Play is the most efficient driver of learning for children. This is as true of their cognitive
development as their physical and emotional development. . . .
Seven-year-olds Tyler and John are playing “chase” on the playground during recess. While
this may look simply like a good way to burn off energy and calories—which alone is enough
to recommend it—it is also a highly sophisticated social transaction. In order for the game to
continue, each boy has to be willing to be both the chaser and the chased. In other
words, both boys have to be willing to cooperate in order to participate in this game. Chase
is a reciprocal activity and ends the moment one of the boys stops reciprocating.
This ability to play reciprocally is a powerful predictor of academic success, as is the ability to
empathize and cooperate. . . . (continued on next page)
(Excerpted from Teach Your Children Well—Parenting for Authentic Success, Madeline
Levine, Ph.D., Harper Collins, 2012, pp. 79-80.)
58. Unstructured Play (continued)
Over the last twenty years, kids have lost close to two hours of
play every day, most of that unstructured play. And it is
unstructured play that provides the greatest opportunities for
kids to be curious, creative, spontaneous, and collaborative.
In unstructured play, kids have to negotiate, they have to figure out how to settle
differences, they have to learn how to cooperate, make the rules, and most important, learn how
to “play by the rules.” Unstructured play, which should be part of every child’s life on a daily
basis, lays the groundwork for social competence. . . . it is unstructured play that stimulates
imagination, and it is imagination that is the underpinning of
creativity, and, ultimately, innovation.“
(Excerpted from Teach Your Children Well—Parenting for Authentic Success, Madeline
Levine, Ph.D., Harper Collins, 2012, pp. 79-80.)
Go out and Play (Video)
http://youtu.be/Oh77DsoOU_U Back to Lesson Summary
59. Be Warm, Positive, Authoritative, and
Consistent—Expect a Lot of Your Children
“Nobody rises to low expectations.” —Calvin Lloyd
“Children do not experience our intentions, no matter how heartfelt. They
experience what we manifest in tone and behavior.” —Gordon Neufeld
What kind of parent are you? What is your parenting style?
• Uninvolved?
• Indulgent?
• Authoritarian?
• Warm and authoritative?
These may seem like abstract terms, but the patterns of behavior they
represent have a real impact on the development (or destruction) of attitudes
and skills crucial to school success:
• Confidence
• Openness
• Motivation
• Self-control
60. Assignment: Understanding the Power of
Warm, Authoritative Parenting
1. View these videos on parenting styles:
Parenting Styles http://youtu.be/AGHyB9MsMho
Parenting Styles http://youtu.be/4ZyhzYJAbJo
Free-Range/Helicopter Parenting http://youtu.be/JcnO6eJGh9o
2. Read these articles on authoritative parenting:
Parenting Styles
http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting-
style.htm
Authoritative Parenting = Balance
http://www.extension.umn.edu/specializations/familydevelopment/authpar
.html
Authoritative Parenting Definition
http://psychology.about.com/od/childcare/f/authoritative-parenting.htm
Responsive, Nurturing Parenting
http://www.incredibleyears.com/ParentResources/responsive-parenting.pdf
3. Describe the benefits associated with a warm, authoritative parenting style
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
61. Assignment: Responsive Discipline
1. View two videos from a Responsive Discipline course
(No. 2. Authority and No. 3. Limits)
http://www.youtube.com/user/casmith46
2. View video and documents about showing you care:
100 Ways to Show Children You Care
http://youtu.be/6-q-o388Zhg
100 Ways to Show Children You Care (transcription of the video)
100 Ways to Show Children You Care.docx
Showing Love
http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/loveland.htm
3. Record ideas on how you might apply principles of authoritative parenting and
responsive discipline in your home.
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
62. Assignment: A Detailed Self Evaluation
Imagine that a stranger came to live in your home for a
month and was able to witness all your interactions with
your children.
Suppose that at the end of the month:
(a) You gave him the lists of positive and negative
qualities shown on the next few pages, and
(b) You asked him to rate you with regard to how often you
demonstrated each one:
1 = Never
2 = Rarely
3 = Occasionally
4 = Regularly
5 = Almost always
Go through the lists, and judge how an honest observer would rate you.
If you don’t feel you can be objective, ask a close friend or family
member to do the rating (emphasizing that you want honesty and
candor, not flattery).
63. Your Positive Qualities (List 1)—
Circle the Most Accurate Number for Each
How often do you: Never Rarely Occasionally Regularly Almost always
Show affection? 1 2 3 4 5
Show acceptance? 1 2 3 4 5
Encourage autonomy? 1 2 3 4 5
Promote courage? 1 2 3 4 5
Encourage achievement? 1 2 3 4 5
Reinforce good habits? 1 2 3 4 5
Stimulate thinking? 1 2 3 4 5
Encourage social interaction? 1 2 3 4 5
Listen reflectively? 1 2 3 4 5
Show understanding? 1 2 3 4 5
Show fairness? 1 2 3 4 5
Appear relaxed? 1 2 3 4 5
Show support? 1 2 3 4 5
Build positive self-concept? 1 2 3 4 5
Show respect? 1 2 3 4 5
Give of self freely? 1 2 3 4 5
Stimulate critical thinking? 1 2 3 4 5
Control urges to be critical? 1 2 3 4 5
Accept mistakes? 1 2 3 4 5
Take time to train/teach? 1 2 3 4 5
64. Your Positive Qualities (List 2)—
Circle the Most Accurate Number for Each
How often do you: Never Rarely Occasionally Regularly Almost always
Actually act, not just talk? 1 2 3 4 5
Show firmness without 1 2 3 4 5
dominating?
Show consistency in 1 2 3 4 5
expectations?
Model expected behavior? 1 2 3 4 5
Love the child, but correct 1 2 3 4 5
the behavior?
Show patience? 1 2 3 4 5
Project happiness? 1 2 3 4 5
Show consideration? 1 2 3 4 5
Demonstrate trust? 1 2 3 4 5
Model moral behavior? 1 2 3 4 5
66. Review Results, Take Action, Make Changes
When you have finished with your self-evaluation:
• Review the results.
• Make a personal commitment to work on any items in the positive lists with a
rating of 1 or 2.
• Commit yourself to work on items in the negative list with a rating of 4 or 5.
• Reevaluate yourself weekly on each of those targeted items.
Back to Lesson Summary
67. Parents Stimulate Curiosity
by Welcoming Questions
“Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel.” —Socrates
Curiosity is an inner desire to understand—
a passion for asking questions and finding answers.
Most children ask a lot of questions. It’s instinctive.
And that's a good thing. Behind each question is a
seed of wonder and interest, which we want to cultivate
and encourage. But sometimes, the seemingly endless
stream of questions gets on our nerves.
How do you typically respond to your children’s
questions? How should you respond? There are at least three options:
• You can ignore them.
• You can give them a quick answer and let it go at that.
• You can take a personal interest in their question and work with them to find answers.
Which do you think would be the best strategy?
If you welcome questions and develop the habit of asking many yourself (and if you work with
your children to find answers), they will likely join you in a lifelong quest for learning and
education. If you don’t, the flame of curiosity may flicker and die.
68. Questions and the Love of Learning
Read the articles, view the video, and familiarize yourself with the Web sites
referenced below. Capture good ideas on how to nurture curiosity.
Articles, Video, and Web Sites
Questions and the Love of Learning
http://voices.yahoo.com/encouraging-children-love-learn-
3349602.html?cat=25
Questions in Early Learning
http://life.familyeducation.com/communication/family-
time/36021.html?page=3
Why Do You Hiccup?
http://youtu.be/gXyBNvD2B-g
Wonderopolis.org
http://wonderopolis.org/wonders/
Curiosity—a Collection of Articles and Activities
http://www.scholastic.com/parents/search/tags?tag=curiosity
100 Questions to Ask Kids
http://life.familyeducation.com/communication/family- Back to Lesson Summary
time/36021.html?page=3
69. Parents Stimulate Curiosity
by Inviting Children to Explore the World
The world is a fascinating place. And somehow, we
need to communicate that to our children.
School can be a great adventure. But in many cases it
will only be so if we initiate them first into the joys of
learning, discovery, and exploration.
The simple truth is that the more things we expose children to—the more we
poke around with them, demonstrating openness to and interest in the world—
the more likely they are to discover at some point what intrigues them. And
then, the battle is won.
70. Family Activities, Field Trips, and Outings
Can you think of some ways of exploring the world
as a family?
Here are some ideas:
• Take walks, ask questions, and talk
about what you see
• Read together, and pursue hobbies
and personal interests
• Show your children how things work
• Visit family and friends, and invite them tell you their stories and describe
their interests
• Learn about your ancestors, and put a photo album together
• Arrange for visits to fire stations, factories, mills, workshops, and
interesting local businesses
• Attend concerts, shows, plays, and festivals
• Visit museums, parks, historic sites, and scenic wonders
• Take a trip or go on a picnic
• Find Internet resources that can teach, inspire, and stimulate curiosity
71. Assignment: Family Outings
“We can best help children learn . . . by making the world . . . accessible to them . . .”
—John Holt
1. Think about the quote above.
2. View the four videos and "virtual tour" Web site below.
Family Field Trip to Ganyard Hill Farm
http://youtu.be/XMlfUon3qoM
Family Field Trip to Washington, D.C.
http://youtu.be/i-O55gHAuXc
H Is for Hot Air Balloon
http://youtu.be/UtvcR347Z2E
Family Field Trip to Dad’s Workplace
http://youtu.be/02IZqUjHqyU
Back to Lesson Summary
Virtual Tours of Scenic and Historic Places
http://www.theteachersguide.com/virtualtours.html
3. Then make a list of things you might want explore with your children over the
next few months.
Take your time. Make a plan. Carry it out. And watch for the sparks.
72. Summary of Part 1 Lesson 1—
Cultivating Positive Attitudes and Social Skills
Build children’s confidence:
• Be positive and generous with focused praise
• Praise effort, hard work, growth, and progress—
not raw intelligence or talent.
• Blend high expectations with warmth and
responsiveness—adopt an authoritative
parenting style, and practice responsive discipline
Teach gratitude
• Help children keep a gratitude journal
• Each evening, ask about “the three best things that happened today”
• From time to time, encourage children write, deliver, and read out loud a
“gratitude letter” to someone they appreciate
Foster social maturity, empathy, and emotional intelligence
• As a family, be sociable, interact with others, make time for unstructured play
• Acknowledge strong emotions, become an “emotion coach,” teach self control
Nurture curiosity
• Welcome questions and find answers together
• Explore the world (and your community) together via regular family outings
73. Lesson 1 Review Questions and Exercises
Be Positive, People-Oriented, and Generous with Praise
1. Why are confidence, empathy, gratitude, and curiosity important to education success?
2. Based on what you have learned, what kind of praise is most helpful and motivating in building
confidence in children and youth?
3. What does it mean to have a sense of self-efficacy? Is it different from self-esteem? In what
ways? How do children develop a sense of self-efficacy?
4. Are hope, optimism, gratitude, and positive views of the future important to personal
happiness, growth, and achievement? Why? In the family setting, do you generally project
those attitudes? What could you do to improve?
5. One way of focusing on the positive in your home is to feel and openly express gratitude. You
might want to plan a formal “Count Your Blessings” night in which each family member
(including yourself) is invited to tell about things (or people) he or she is most thankful for.
6. Think about each of your children, and make a list of their recent accomplishments. Try to
understand specifically what was behind each achievement
(effort, practice, study, planning, determination, problem-
solving, focus, persistence, thoughtfulness, etc.) Then acknowledge those things and praise
your children for them.
7. How can you boost your children’s social/emotional IQ?
74. Lesson 1 Review Questions and Exercises
(continued)
Blend High Expectations with Warmth and Responsiveness
1. How would you describe an authoritative parenting style (as opposed to an authoritarian style)?
2. What impacts do authoritative and authoritarian parenting styles generally have on kids?
3. What are the drawbacks to permissive and inattentive (or neglectful) parenting?
4. Think about your values, hopes, and goals for your children. Do you want them to become:
• Kind, generous, and moral (possessing a clear sense of right and wrong)?
• Socially skilled (able to form friendships and work well with others)?
• Independent (able to make decisions and take responsibility for themselves)?
• Intelligent and educated (with skills to serve and build and contribute) ?
• Physically healthy (with energy to work and serve)?
• Happy (with enthusiasm for life)?
5. Analyze how these values, hopes, and goals are reflected in your parenting practices and current
family rules, routines, and standards. Look for inconsistencies, disconnects, and arbitrariness.
Work with your spouse to refine and focus rules, routines, and parenting practices on these goals.
6. Make it a point periodically to review family rules with your children. Respect and welcome their
comments, and communicate freely your thoughts and the reasoning behind the rules. Emphasize
that your focus will always be on what is right rather than who is right.
7. Work through the material on showing love effectively in “The Parenting Journey”
In English: http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/loveland/loveland.pdf
In Spanish: http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/loveland/FCS402SP.pdf
75. Lesson 1 Review Questions and Exercises
(continued)
Welcome Questions—and Find Answers Together
1. Why should we view children’s questions as a good thing?
2. How can we turn children’s questions from a burden and an annoyance into a pleasurable
bonding experience?
3. Are you in the habit of asking yourself questions (and finding answers)? What would be the
value of getting into that habit?
4. Go to http://Wonderopolis.org on the Internet, and click on the “Wonder of the Day” to preview
how the Web site works. Read the question of the day, view the related video, and read the
short written explanation under the video.
• Then search the topic list (lower right) for subjects you know your children are interested in.
• Click on one or two topics, and make a note of several funky questions related to the topics.
• Pose those questions at the dinner table sometime, and invite your children to view the
answers with you on the Internet. (You might even make this a daily or weekly “family
question” ritual.)
5. Learn and show your children how to use reference books, libraries, Internet search engines
(such as http://www.Google.com ) and encyclopedias (http://www.Wickipedia.com ) to look up
answers to their questions. You might even find some interesting videos related to their
questions on http://www/Youtube.com .
76. Lesson 1 Review Questions and Exercises
(continued)
Explore the World around You
1. What kinds of things can children learn on “Family Field Trips”?
2. What could they learn from a simple walk around the neighborhood?
3. What could they learn by going to work with you?
4. Learn about parks, museums, zoos, gardens, public buildings, monuments, and historic sites in
your local area, and make plans to visit some of them.
5. If possible, invite each child to spend a day (or part of a day) at work with you. Show them and
talk to them about what you do.
6. Explore hobbies and interesting careers together.
7. Take your family to a play, concert, rodeo, sporting event, or parade and talk about it
afterward.
77. Find Answers, Get the Bigger Picture—
Dig into Key Lesson Topics on Your Own
Take a look at these reference links now—and come back to them at the end of each
lesson. They can help you deepen your understanding of important lesson topics.
Lakeside Union School District University of Arkansas
School Success Library (in English and Spanish) The Parenting Journey
http://www.lakesideusd.org/stories/storyRea http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/p
der$75 arenting/default.htm
Includes dozens of tip sheets for parents on many A collection of “Travel Guides” for Parents (in
different school-related topics --view topic list English and Spanish) addressing topics such
as emotional and physical health, showing
Education.com affection, understanding child
• Educational activities and worksheets development, building character and
• Easy-to-read articles. responsibility, encouraging a love of
• Insightful video content learning, teaching values, and serving in the
• A rich community that helps parents connect community
• Information on schools The Family Journey
http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/f
Guiding Children Successfully (GCS)
amily/default.htm
http://www.arfamilies.org/child_care/gcs/def
A concise description of characteristics of
ault.htm
strong families
Workshop on motivating kids, showing love, etc. Enrichment Materials by Topic
78. More Tools for Digging
Check out these additional learning resources (now and as you work through the seminar).
Reference books Education: Catch the Dream (continued)
http://www.Amazon.com Video 3—Introduction to the Program
• Sharon L. Ramey, Going to School: How to http://youtu.be/ozJhgEqu0IQ
Help Your Child Succeed. Video 4—Dreams Card Sort
• Madeline Levine, Teach Your Children Well: http://youtu.be/nei_0VAIhIw
Parenting for Authentic Success. Video 5—Education Catches Dreams
• John R. Ban, PASS: Parents Assuring School http://youtu.be/ErBp-HezbQQ
Success. Video 6—Latino Stats
http://youtu.be/s-yaz9srJ3E
Hundreds of Free Parenting Videos Video 7—Obstacles Card Sort
http://www.5min.com http://youtu.be/Rmg5fQCQbZc
Video 8—Resources Card Sort
http://youtu.be/2_OoZNpZcL8
Education: Catch the Dream
Video 9—Action
(A Fine Program for Motivating Hispanic Youth)
http://youtu.be/uwb8AuaC5Bg
Video 1—Background
Video 10—You Can Do It
http://youtu.be/uQSDPRRBCAY
http://youtu.be/ppvyz9P3aL4
Video 2—Motivational Theories
http://youtu.be/BRC-aFlGPgA Helps for Hispanic Parents
79. Goals and Plans for Lesson 1:
Cultivating Positive Attitudes
Part 1 Lesson 1
Your Goals (What?) Your Action Plan (How)? Time Frame (When?)
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Back to Lesson Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
80. Lesson 2:
Fostering Good
Work Habits
Hand in Hand for Education
How Parents Help Children Succeed in School
81. View View
View
View
View
This is the Lesson 2 Summary. Four topics are addressed, and a fifth section, “Vision and
Action,” provides review, enrichment, planning, and goal-setting tools.
To view material on each topic, click the “View” buttons above. At the end of each
section, you can either continue on or click “Back to Lesson Summary” to come back to this
slide To Next Section Summary Back to Part 1 Summary
82. Fostering Good Work Habits—
Responsibility, Discipline, Organization, Persistence
“The most important thing parents can teach their children
is how to get along without them.” —Frank Clark
Teaching responsibility
We all want our children to become hard-working,
responsible adults:
• To be dutiful and independent
• To be organized
• To do hard things (such as go to college)
• To stick with important jobs until they are completed.
But in subtle and not so subtle ways, we sometimes deprive them of the
experience of doing these very things during the growing-up years.
How could that happen? What would motivate it? What would be the
likely consequence?
83. Teach via Chores, Choices, and Consequences
As you peruse the material below (and on the next page), take notes and think about
how you might give your children more experience and encouragement in:
• Making good choices
• Experiencing consequences
• Accepting responsibility
• Working hard
• Solving problems and overcoming obstacles
• Persevering with difficult tasks until they are
completed
• Experiencing the joy of achievement
Articles
Age-Appropriate Chores
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/chores-for-children
Giving Children Choices
http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/character/giving_children_choices.htm
Natural Consequences
http://childparenting.about.com/library/weekly/aa102703a.htm
Chore Charts
http://orgjunkie.com/2009/05/free-printable-responsibility-chore-charts.html
84. Chores, Choices, and Consequences (continued)
Videos
10 Easy Chores for Teens
http://youtu.be/D8bpY8zzaQw
5 Tips to Make a Kids’ Chore Chart
http://youtu.be/XcQ1RtuhoFk
How to Teach Children to Be Responsible?
http://youtu.be/WyZcoiYZxmE
How to Motivate Kids to Do Chores
http://youtu.be/SU_yWD3poU0
Teaching Middle-Schoolers Responsibility
and Independence
http://youtu.be/jlmn4zhzcwU
Consequences Are Essential
http://youtu.be/rW3wqYE2yfE
Using Logical Consequences
http://youtu.be/KukQfLvgCk8
How to Raise Responsible Kids
http://youtu.be/KYnJCJVtEUw
85. Chores, Choices, and Consequences (Notes)
Notes
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
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Back to Lesson Summary
86. Teach via Family Rules/Routines
“A child wants some kind of undisrupted routine or
rhythm. He seems to want a predictable, orderly world.”
—Abraham Maslow
What is the value of establishing and maintaining family rules and routines?
Rules and routines give children a sense of
order, organization, security, control, and predictability. Examples include
behavior rules, morning routines, after-school routines, meal times, bed
times, and limits on TV or other media.
Although children may chafe against rules and structure from time to time, they
reap significant benefits. Children from families with consistent standards and
routines do better in school and in other arenas. Rules and routines seem to
prepare them for the structure of classrooms and work and social environments.
87. Establishing Family Rules and Routines
What kinds of rules and routines would
be helpful in your home?
Rules for:
• Meal times?
• Bed times?
• Study times?
• Chore times?
• Play times?
• Reading times?
• Family meetings and activity
times?
• TV and other electronic media?
Check out the links on the next page for
more ideas and suggestions.
88. Establishing Family Rules and Routines (continued)
Links
Sample Family Rules
http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/family-rules-top-10-rules-
to-post-on-your-fridge/
Teaching Responsibility through Rules/Routines
http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/character.htm
Rules, Rituals, and Routines
http://mothering.com/parenting/rules-rituals-and-routines?page=0,0
Road Map for Establishing Rules and Routines
http://www.learningseed.com/_guides/1303_rules_rituals_routines_guide.p
df
Family Rules/Routines (Charts/Templates/Tips)
http://www.incredibleyears.com/Resources/basic_school-age_program-10-
handouts.pdf
89. Establishing Family Rules and Routines (continued)
Family Rules Definition Worksheet
Use this worksheet to consider potential family rules. If you decide a rule is needed in a topic
area, phrase it in the positive, rather than the negative. For example, “Eat only in the kitchen”
means the same thing as “No eating in any room with a rug,” but it tends to be more “friendly.”
Household responsibility and participation Homework
_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Mealtimes Other school issues
_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Snacking Indoor physical activity
_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Other food concerns Extracurricular activities
_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Privacy Sibling behavior
_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Language Forbidden activities
_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________
TV and video games Telephone
_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________
90. Establishing Family Rules and Routines (continued)
Family Rules Definition Worksheet (contd)
Computer and Internet use Permissions
_______________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Reading Modesty
_______________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Pets and pet care Car
_______________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Allowance Smoking, alcohol, and other drugs
_______________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Earnings Curfew
_______________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Savings Dating
_______________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Family functions Sexual activity
_______________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Guests Guests
_______________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________
Back to Lesson Summary
91. Prize Effort, Practice, and Personal Progress—
Help Children Experience the Joy of Growth
“Every mountain top is within reach if you just keep climbing.” —Barry Finlay
“Let failure be *a+ . . . workshop. See it for what it is; the world walking *us+ . . .
through a tough but necessary semester, free of tuition.” —Steven Heighton
Links to view and ponder
What Is a “Growth Mindset”
http://mindsetonline.com/whatisit/about/index.html
Fostering Growth Mindsets
http://youtu.be/o-SaTBg5eIc
Prizing Effort
http://youtu.be/2cB5yUPFLKI
Letting Go of Being Perfect
http://youtu.be/mAlg3BY2DJI
93. Impart the “Gift of Grit”— Achievement
Motivation, Self-Discipline, Persistence
“I will is more important than IQ.” —Marva Collins
Grit
One quality associated with educational success is "grit," which
has been described as "perseverance and a passion for long-term
goals." Gritty people possess persistence of motive and effort.
They are more focused on winning the marathon than the sprint.
Individuals with grit are able to maintain their determination and motivation over long
periods of time despite experiences with failure and adversity. Their passion and
commitment to a long-term objective is what provides the stamina required to stay the
course. But how does a child develop grit? In slide-show mode, click on the links
below (and on the next page) for some good ideas:
Raising Gritty Kids
http://happyfamiliesblog.blogspot.com/2011/06/raising-gritty-kids.html
Achievement Motivation
http://youtu.be/6Jsui7ppoFw
Five Lessons on Self-Discipline for Kids
http://learningtogive.org/lessons/unit538/
94. Raising “Gritty Kids” (continued)
Check out these documents
Activities That Teach Perseverance
Activities That Teach Perseverance
Activities That Teach Planning and Organization
Activities That Teach Planning and Organization
The Power of Deferred Gratification (Article and Links)
Deferred Gratification (Article and Links)
Back to Lesson Summary
95. Summary of Lesson 2—
Fostering Good Work Habits
Teach via Chores, Choices, and Consequences
Teach children to work by giving them regular responsibilities at home.
From the earliest years, invite them to make age-appropriate choices.
Allow them to experience the logical and natural consequences of their actions.
Teach via Family Rules and Routines
Establish family rules that reflect your values and goals.
Establish routines and structure in the home (to help children learn discipline,
responsibility, and organization).
Prize Effort, Practice, and Personal Progress
Praise and reward effort.
Embrace a growth (rather than a fixed) mindset.
Recognize that failure can be a powerful teacher.
Impart the “Gift of Grit”—Achievement Motivation,
Self-Discipline, Persistence
Teach values of achievement, persistence, self
control, and delayed gratification.
96. Lesson 2 Review Questions and Exercises
Teach via Chores, Choices, and Consequences
1. What are some common mistakes parents make in trying to get kids to do chores?
2. What are some ways of getting the children’s cooperation in doing chores?
3. According to the articles you read in going over this lesson, what are some chores
suitable for an 8- or 9-year-old?
4. Should very young children be allowed to make choices? Why or why not?
5. What should you do if your children make choices that you consider to be foolish?
6. What is the difference between a natural consequence and a logical consequence?
7. Under what circumstances should you (a) allow natural consequences to teach
your child, or (b) step in to impose a logical consequence?
8. Review the material on giving children choices in “The Parenting Journey”:
In English or Spanish:
http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/discovery/discovery_point.pdf
http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/discovery/FCS405SP.pdf
9. Hold a family meeting in which you talk about chores, choices, and consequences.
10. With input from your children, create a chore chart, post it in a prominent
place, and use it as a tool to help your children develop practical skills and feel
responsible for certain household functions.
97. Lesson 2 Review Questions and Exercises (contd.)
Teach via Family Rules and Routines
1. Critique your current family rules.
2. Explain why rules and their enforcement must be discussed with your children.
3. Explain why rules must be consistently enforced.
4. In one of the articles you read, Thomas Knestrick said: “I believe that routines
are . . . the fundamental building blocks of self-discipline and self-monitoring.”
What do you think he meant by that?
5. Explain why predictability is important for children and families.
6. What are family “rituals”? How do they differ from routines? And why are they
important?
7. Describe the process you might go through in developing and implementing a
new set of family rules aligned with your values.
8. List three routines that you would like to implement in your home, and explain
what impact they would have on you and your family.
9. Explain what “rituals” you would like to implement with your family and how they
might help your children.
98. Lesson 2 Review Questions and Exercises (contd.)
Prize Effort, Practice, and Personal Progress—Help Kids Experience the Joy of Growth
1. What is a “growth mindset”?
2. How does it differ from a “fixed mindset”?
3. How does a growth mindset affect a child’s attitude toward
challenges, obstacles, effort, failure, criticism, and the success of others?
4. Describe the “perils of perfectionism.”
5. Think of ways you could communicate to your children the dignity, joy, and value of
sustained work, effort, and practice over long periods of time.
6. Map out a strategy now for reacting to your child’s failures—communicating
effectively the idea that failure is not fatal—that it is a part of life, that we can learn
from it, pick ourselves up, and move on.
99. Lesson 2 Review Questions and Exercises (contd.)
Impart the “Gift of Grit”—Achievement Motivation, Self-Discipline, and Persistence
1. What is “delayed gratification”?
2. What is “impulse control”?
3. How does discipline differ from self-discipline?
4. What is the difference between “self-discipline” and “self-motivation”
5. What is the role of goals in self-motivation?
6. What role does organization play in the attainment of goals?
7. Describe some activities you might use in your home to teach persistence.
8. Review material on values and family traditions in “The Parenting Journey”
(available in English or Spanish):
http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/reunion/reunion_springs.pdf
http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/reunion/FCS406SP.pdf