This file contains excerpts from a larger parent seminar titled "Hand in Hand for Education--How Parents Help Children Succeed in School."

1. Hand in Hand for Education
How Parents Help Children Succeed in School
Seminar Excerpts—
Six Things Wise
Parents Do
© Copyright 2013 v16 3-31-2013
The content of this seminar is solely the responsibility of Kent and Ella Madsen. We welcome comments and suggestions. Contact us at:
s.kent.madsen@gmail.com. Access the full seminar online at the sites listed on slide 30.

2. Background
This PowerPoint presentation contains excerpts from an online parenting seminar—
available through Internet links provided on Slide 30.
The full seminar describes how:
• From the earliest years, parents can lay a foundation for school success.
• Through the school years, parents can most effectively guide and support their children.
As we began work on the seminar, we were amazed to find a striking array of excellent videos and
articles on these subjects—readily available to anyone on the Internet. It made no sense to
reinvent them, and so we decided to incorporate them into our program.
For more than a year, we have been been on a mission to:
• Identify and catalogue Internet materials that are most effective in teaching important
parenting principles related to education.
• Organize and sequence them in a meaningful way.
• Provide transitions and develop exercises and questions to engage parents and
encourage them to apply these principles in their homes.
We gratefully acknowledge the contribution that organizations sponsoring the referenced
websites and materials have made to parents and families everywhere.

3. Background (continued)
We offer this overview of key seminar concepts and materials for two reasons:
• First, we hope it will help you to be more focused and effective in raising your children.
• Second, we hope it will motivate you to dig into the full seminar.
Take a quick look at the overview now. We welcome comments and suggestions—for this short
sampler and the full seminar as well.
S. Kent Madsen, Ph.D., Romance Languages, Duke University ( s.kent.madsen@gmail.com )
Ella R. Madsen, M.S., Child Development, University of California, Davis
Note on Streaming Videos: In this presentation (and in the full seminar) we make extensive use of YouTube
and other Internet videos. For best results, you will need access to a good Internet connection. If you have no
home connection or if the one you have is not fast enough to play the videos smoothly, try using computers at
a local public library, business, church, or friend’s home. To do this without disturbing others, you may have to
acquire a set of headphones.
Note on Responsibility for Content: We have chosen to offer our personal (Mormon) religious perspective on
a few of the topics addressed because we think it is revealing and important. But please recognize that: (1) the
seminar is for everyone, (2) we are solely responsible for its content, and (3) we do not represent any particular
organization—religious or otherwise.

4. Laying a Foundation for Learning—
Six Things Parents Can Do
From the earliest years:
1. Be warm, positive, authoritative, and consistent—expect a lot of
your children (and of yourself).
2. Teach work, responsibility, and persistence.
3. Establish routines and structure in the home.
4. Cultivate social skills and emotional maturity.
5. Build academic skills.
6. Embrace moral values and spiritual gifts.
Then, as children grow:
Guide and support them actively in specific school settings—from
elementary school to college.

5. 1. Be Warm, Positive, Authoritative, and
Consistent—Expect a Lot of Your Children
“Nobody rises to low expectations.” —Calvin Lloyd
What kind of parent are you? What is your parenting style?
• Uninvolved?
• Indulgent?
• Authoritarian?
• Warm and authoritative?
These may seem like abstract terms, but the patterns of behavior they
represent have a real impact on the development (or destruction) of attitudes
and skills crucial to school success:
• Confidence
• Openness
• Motivation
• Self-control

6. Recognize the Power of a Warm,
Authoritative Father or Mother
1. View video on parenting styles (launch slide show—from the Slide
Show menu—and then click on this link):
http://youtu.be/AGHyB9MsMho
2. Read articles on authoritative parenting:
Parenting Styles
http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting-
style.htm
Authoritative Parenting = Balance
http://www.extension.umn.edu/specializations/familydevelopment/authpar
.html
3. Describe the benefits associated with a warm, authoritative parenting style
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
4. Reflect on ways of demonstrating warmth and interest and maintaining credibility:
• Give time, attention, and respect
• Communicate, teach, and listen
• Set a good example; be steady and consistent

7. Build Confidence
Your children’s confidence can be built up by the tone of
everyday conversations in the home.
• If you focus on the positive—giving children honest praise for the good things
they do and for their hard work—they will be more inclined to work, achieve,
and embrace a positive view of themselves and their future.
• On the other hand, if you flood their minds with negative comments and
criticism, they are likely to become hesitant, listless, fearful, shallow, and self-
indulgent—unwilling to embrace life’s challenges and take the risks crucial to
learning, growth, and progress.
Your goal as a parent should be to notice and praise your children’s real
accomplishments—to catch them doing good things every day.

8. Give Meaningful Praise
You might think all praise is of equal power in building confidence and a sense
of competence in your children? The people who study these things say no.
View the video and article below to find out what the experts have discovered. Take
notes on what you hear and read. Let a day pass, and then review and reflect on
your notes (and perhaps view the videos again). This is very
important material.
How to Praise Children
http://youtu.be/Wqo4c-FlFGE
I Think I Can! I Think I Can!
http://www.nasponline.org/publications/cq/pdf/
V39N3_FT_Self-Efficacy.pdf

9. Prize Effort, Growth, and Learning
“Every mountain top is within reach if you just keep climbing.” —Barry Finlay
Links to view and ponder
What Is a “Growth Mindset”
http://mindsetonline.com/whatisit/about/index.html
Fostering Growth Mindsets
http://youtu.be/o-SaTBg5eIc

10. Exercise Parental Authority Wisely
View video number 2 on “Authority” in this nine-video series on
responsive discipline:
http://www.youtube.com/user/casmith46
Record ideas on how you might apply principles of authoritative
parenting and responsive discipline in your home.
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________

11. Make Rules and Set Limits
1. View video number 3 (on “Limits”) in the series on
responsive discipline:
http://www.youtube.com/user/casmith46
2. List characteristics of effective limits.
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
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_______________________________________________________________________

12. Family Rules Definition Worksheet
Use this worksheet to consider potential family rules. If you decide a rule is needed in a topic
area, phrase it in the positive, rather than the negative. For example, “Eat only in the kitchen”
means the same thing as “No eating in any room with a rug,” but it tends to be more “friendly.”
Household responsibility and participation Homework
_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Mealtimes Other school issues
_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Snacking Indoor physical activity
_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Other food concerns Extracurricular activities
_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Privacy Sibling behavior
_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Language Forbidden activities
_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________
TV and video games Telephone
_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________

13. Family Rules Definition Worksheet (continued)
Family Rules Definition Worksheet (contd)
Computer and Internet use Permissions
_______________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Reading Modesty
_______________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Pets and pet care Car
_______________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Allowance Smoking, alcohol, and other drugs
_______________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Earnings Curfew
_______________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Savings Dating
_______________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Family functions Sexual activity
_______________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Guests
_______________________________________________________________________

14. 2. Teach Work, Responsibility, and Persistence
“The most important thing parents can teach their children
is how to get along without them.” —Frank Clark
Teaching responsibility
We all want our children to become hard-working,
responsible adults:
• To be dutiful and independent
• To be organized
• To do hard things (such as go to college)
• To stick with important jobs until they are completed.
But in subtle and not so subtle ways, we sometimes deprive them of the
experience of doing these very things during the growing-up years.
How could that happen? What would motivate it? What would be the
likely outcome?

15. Teach via Chores, Choices, and Consequences
As you peruse the material below, take notes and think about how you might give
your children more experience and encouragement in:
• Working hard
• Making good choices
• Accepting responsibility
• Solving problems and overcoming obstacles
• Persevering with difficult tasks until they are
completed
Articles and Videos
Age-Appropriate Chores
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/chores-for-children
Giving Children Choices
http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/character/giving_children_choices.htm
How to Motivate Kids to Do Chores
http://youtu.be/SU_yWD3poU0
Teaching Middle-Schoolers Responsibility and Independence
http://youtu.be/jlmn4zhzcwU

16. Impart the “Gift of Grit”— Achievement Motivation,
Self-Discipline, Persistence
“I will is more important than IQ.” —Marva Collins
Grit
One quality associated with educational success is "grit,"
which has been described as "perseverance and a passion
for long-term goals." Gritty people possess persistence of motive and effort.
They are more focused on winning the marathon than the sprint.
Individuals with grit are able to maintain their determination and motivation over long
periods of time despite experiences with failure and adversity. Their passion and
commitment to a long-term objective is what provides the stamina required to stay the
course. But how does a child develop grit? Launch a slide show, and click on the links
below for some good ideas:
Raising Gritty Kids
http://happyfamiliesblog.blogspot.com/2011/06/raising-gritty-kids.html
Achievement Motivation
http://youtu.be/6Jsui7ppoFw
Deferred Gratification
Deferred Gratification (Article and Links)

17. 3. Establish Routines and
Structure in the Home
“A child wants some kind of undisrupted routine or
rhythm. He seems to want a predictable, orderly world.”
—Abraham Maslow
What is the value of establishing and maintaining family routines?
Routines give children a sense of order, organization, security, control, and
predictability. Examples include morning routines, after-school routines, meal
times, bed times, and limits on TV or other media.
Although children may chafe against schedules and structure from time to time,
they reap significant benefits. Children from families with consistent standards
and routines do better in school and in other arenas. Routines teach organization
and seem to prepare children for the structure of classroom, work, and social
environments.

18. One Routine That Really Matters:
Regular Family Dinners
“. . . family meals . . . are the single most important activity
. . . to enhance the life of children.” --Dr. William Doherty
Ronald Reagan once said: “All great change . . . begins at the dinner table.”
Family researchers agree. Laurie David, producer and author of “The Family
Dinner: Great Ways to Connect with Your Kids,” (2010) claims that:
“Basically, everything a parent worries about can be improved by the
simple act of sitting down and sharing a meal.”
Miriam Weinstein, author of “The Surprising Power of Family Meals,” (2005)
writes:
“Better grades, healthier eating habits, closer relationships to parents and
siblings, ability to resist negative peer pressure, resilience in the face of
life's problems — all these are outcomes of simply sharing dinner on a
regular basis . . . . Experts everywhere agree: sharing meals helps cement
family relationships [and build skills of many different kinds]

19. Why Are Family Dinners So Important?
View the following videos and read the article. Make notes on what you learn.
The Value of Family Dinner (Part 1)
http://youtu.be/9ETtdZZS6iw
The Value of Family Dinner (Part 2)
http://youtu.be/aHOEddf9fv0
The Importance of Eating Together
thefamilydinnerproject.org/resources/faq/
Notes on the importance of family dinners
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________

20. Establishing Other Family Routines
Are there other routines that would be good for your children?
• Set meal times?
• Bed times?
• Study times?
• Chore times?
• Play times?
• Reading times?
• Family meeting and activity times?
Take a look at this excellent article for ideas.
http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/character.htm

21. Schedule Regular Family Activities,
Field Trips, and Outings
Build curiosity, confidence, unity, and a culture of
learning by exploring the world as a family.
Here are some ideas:
• Take walks, talk about what you see,
welcome questions, and find answers
• Read together, and pursue hobbies
and personal interests
• Visit family and friends, and invite them tell you their stories and describe
life lessons
• Learn about your ancestors, and put a photo album together
• Show your children how things work
• Arrange for visits to fire stations, factories, mills, workshops, and
interesting local businesses
• Attend concerts, shows, plays, and festivals
• Visit museums, parks, historic sites, and scenic wonders
• Take trips; go on picnics
• Find Internet resources that can teach, inspire, and stimulate curiosity

22. 4. Cultivate Social Skills
and Emotional Maturity
School is a social experience. And it requires self control.
Children who are quick to make friends and who feel comfortable
working in groups will do better (and be happier) there. Children with
emotional intelligence (the ability to recognize, understand, and control
their own emotions and relate to the emotions of others) will be more successful socially
and academically.
View the following videos and articles, and make notes on what you learn.
Helping Kids Build Strong Social Connections
http://youtu.be/MzatPjH7bkg
Emotional Literacy
http://youtu.be/I9xsr4Epd74
Social Skills
http://extension.oregonstate.edu/catalog/pdf/ec/ec1317-e.pdf
Identifying/Expressing Emotions
http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/familytools/teaching_emotions.pdf
Dealing with Strong Emotions
http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/insight/insight.pdf
Summarize the “why’s and how’s” of raising a child’s social/emotional IQ.

23. 5. Build Academic Skills—
Reading, Writing, Working with Numbers
The most obvious thing parents can do at home to help
children succeed in school is to promote basic academic skills:
• Speaking and listening (comprehending spoken language)
• Recognizing letters, numbers, and printed words
• Reading stories and articles and understanding them.
• Counting and working with numbers and math concepts.
Children learn spoken language from their parents. And the process begins at birth.
Every conversation, every word spoken, every nursery rhyme recited, and every story
told adds to vocabulary and understanding that can translate into success at school.
Parents who own books, treasure them, give them as gifts, go to the library with
their children, and read regularly to and with them pass on a priceless legacy.
Written language can be taught and reviewed on a daily basis by pointing out words
and phrases on billboards, signs, cereal boxes, storefronts, etc., as well as in
magazines, newspapers, and books.
Counting and math concepts can be taught and reinforced in the context of everyday
activities (cooking, sewing, shopping, building, measuring, drawing, doing crafts, etc.).

24. Establish
Establish a Family Reading/Writing Time
“Children become readers on the laps of their parents.” —Emilie Buchwald
View Videos
The Importance of Reading Aloud
http://youtu.be/2HThtiOkD2k
How to Read Out Loud with Your Preschooler
http://youtu.be/sZSlUVrCJRo
How to Read Out Loud with Your Preteen
http://youtu.be/hBhEsdy6vgY
The Importance of Reading to Children
http://www.5min.com/Video/Importance-of-Reading--to-Children-
264565128

25. Use Everyday Activities to Foster
Word, Number, and Learning Skills
“Smart is just time on task; it’s repetition and support.” —Nicole Blake
View Videos
Teaching Moments (Video Series)
http://www.scholastic.com/parents/videos

26. 6. Embrace Moral Values and Spiritual Gifts
Seek the spirit as a partner in parenting. Learn what
scriptures and church leaders have said about the
importance of family, fatherhood, and motherhood.
Recognize the clear connection between religious
principles and teachings and school success:
• Faith in God builds confidence, hope, and a sense
of purpose and potential.
• The scriptures teach that learning and growth are central to God’s plans and hopes for man.
• Allegiance to moral principles brings power and discipline—to work, serve, study, improve
oneself, control impulses, and delay gratification.
• Church programs provide many school-like experiences and a strong family support system.
Work together as parents:
• Follow counsel regarding family prayer, family home evenings, church attendance, moral
behavior, love, kindness, and service.
• Decide exactly what you are trying to achieve with your children; use this seminar as a
catalyst for setting goals and making plans. (The worksheet on the next slide can help.)
Above all, set a good example; you are your children’s most important teacher.

27. What Do You Hope to Accomplish
with Your Children (and How)?
Your Goals (What?) Your Plans/Strategies (How?) Your Time Frame (When?)
For example: To support the education goal, we’ll: For the listed education plans:
Help my children to become: --Read together often --Twice a week
--Educated/skilled --Communicate/talk regularly --Every day during dinner
--Confident/positive --Go to the library --Weekly in summer
--Hard-working/steady --Provide a quiet place to study --Today
--Honest/moral --Set a time for homework --From 6 to 8 pm weekdays
--Socially comfortable/ --Help kids organize materials --This week
people-oriented—able --Communicate with teachers --Monthly
to make friends, work --Monitor school progress --Weekly
well with others, and --Drill math facts for fun --While doing chores
maintain positive --Focus on learning new words --On trips/at dinner
relationships --Pursue hobbies and interests --On Saturday afternoons
--Emotionally mature— --Explore/travel/attend cultural --At least once a month
able to manage moods/ and community events
practice self control
Use charts like this to make plans for each parenting goal—and review progress weekly or monthly.

28. Summary—Six Things Wise Parents
Can Do to Lay a Solid Foundation
1. Be Warm, Positive, Authoritative, and Consistent
• Expect a lot of your children (and yourself).
• Give time, attention, and respect; manage the tone of
everyday conversations.
• Teach, communicate, listen, and set a good example.
• Set limits and make expectations clear.
2. Teach Work, Responsibility, and Persistence
• Have children share in household chores.
• Give children choices and ample experience with natural and logical consequences.
• Model self control, a strong work ethic, deferred gratification, and a growth mindset.
3. Establish Routines and Structure in the Home
• Have dinner together
• Schedule regular reading, writing, homework, conversation, work, meal, and bed times
• Plan regular family field trips and fun activities
4. Cultivate Social Skills and Emotional Maturity
5. Build Academic Skills
6. Embrace Moral Values and Spiritual Gifts

29. The Full Seminar Can Help You Guide
Children through the School Years
Elementary School, Middle School, High School, and College
• What to expect?
• Making the transitions
• Keys to success
• Benchmarks for achievement at each grade level
Partnering with Teachers and Becoming Involved with Schools
• Parent-teacher conferences
• Communicating with schools
• Participating and volunteering
Homework and Study Skills
• Providing a quiet, comfortable place to study
• Coaching children and dealing with common homework problems
• Understanding how we learn—brain development and learning
Preparing for College in Middle School and High School
• Taking the right classes
• Exploring interests, careers, and the world of work
• Choosing a college or post-high-school technical or job training program
• College application procedures and financial aid strategies

30. There Are Two Ways
to Access the Full Seminar
1. By viewing PowerPoint files that contain all essential seminar content:
• Part 1. From the Earliest Years, Parents Lay a Foundation for Learning—
available at:
http://www.slideshare.net/SKMadsen/parent-seminar-student-guide-part-
1laying-a-foundation-for-learning-16726108 .
• Part 2. Through the School Years, Parents Guide and Support—available at:
http://www.slideshare.net/SKMadsen/parent-seminar-student-guide-part-
2the-school-yearsrev-1-16725677
2. By going to our website (coming soon) and working through the same material in a
different format:
www.parentingforschoolsuccess.org
Either way, best wishes to you as you embark on this family journey to education and
school success. We would welcome feedback on your experience. Send comments
and suggestions to s.kent.madsen@gmail.com.

31. FYI, Our Website is Laid
out Like a Bulletin Board
1. Content will
be delivered www.parentingforschoolsuccess.org
on 14 learning
panels posted
on a green
background as 6. Panel text introduces
shown here. major topics. Buttons on
panels launch PowerPoint
2. All you’ll slide shows with links and
see initially is details. Be patient.
the central Launching the site (and
Welcome downloading some files)
panel (full may take a minute or two.
screen size).
5. Another way of
3. To view the zooming in on a given
other panels, panel is to do a double left-
zoom out (or mouse-click on it—which
in) using the will bring it front and
roller wheel on center. To zoom back, do a
your mouse, 4. . . . scroll from panel to panel by holding down the single right mouse click.
and then . . . left mouse button and dragging up, down, left, or right.