A lecture on parenting for parents.

1. Challenges of Parenting
Dr. Ravi Samuel MA., MPhil., Ph.D.
Cognitive Psychotherapist
www.urclinic.com

2. Major Focus
• Family
• Spirituality
• Academics
• Social Interactions
• Recreational Activities
• Concerning relationships and habits

3. The role of parents
• Constantly Challenging
Academics / Projects / Extra-curricular /
Recreation
Children’s emotional needs
Demands from teachers
Finance – spending habits
Managing performance

4. Problems in School/Family/Peers
• Behavioural Problems
• Sidelined
• Branded ‘Poor Student’
• Written Off Student

5. Enhancing Academic
Performance
• Poorly Trained Cognition
• Poor Study Skills
• Emotional Problems
• Problems in School/Family/Peers

6. Ways of Improving
• Poorly Trained
Cognition
• Simple Cognitive
Exercises
• Specialised computer
programme
• Simple memory,
concentration
exercises

7. Training the Cognition
• Poor Attention
• Poor Concentration
• Poor Registration
• Poor Retrieval Skills
• Recalling Unlearned
Material
• Misinterpretation of
‘memorised’ for
‘understood’
• Cognitive Retraining
Method to Improve
Cognitive functions
• ‘Exercises’
• Destructive Thoughts
towards learning

8. Faulty Study Skills
Double
Track
Thought
Process
Scanning
physically
and
Mentally
Breaking
quite too
Often
Searching Obsessional
Organisation
Looking
for a break
Conversations
Telephone etc
Faulty
Posture
Wrong
Timing
Poor
organisation
of materials

9. Study Behaviour
• Poor Study Behaviour • Behavioural Exercises
• Insight and Fading of
faulty Behaviour
• Relearning exercises

10. Emotional Problems
Negative Attitude
towards Self
Negative Attitude by
teachers
Negative Attitude by
peers/siblings/family
Negative Attitude
towards studies
Negative Attitude
towards cognitive
abilities
Negative Attitude
towards Life

11. Emotional Problems
• Persistent Negative Emotions
• Poor management of Emotions
• Lack of Positive Emotions
• Creating Positive Experiences

12. Problem Children!
• Learning Difficulty
• Students with Emotional problems
• Students with Personality problems

13. Lack of Attention/Hyperactivity
• ADHD
• Any attempt to calm the child may be futile
• Specific activity based strategies can be
developed to increase a desired behaviour

14. Dyslexia
• Problem with language
• Problem with writing
• Problem with calculation
• Host of emotional and behavioural
Problems

15. Slow Learners
• Normal IQ but slow in
learning
• Little below average
IQ
• Poor
concentration/memory
etc

16. Distracted Group of students
• All classes will have a
clique which are going
in the wrong path
influencing one
another
• Pride in deviant and
undesirable behaviour.
cutting
classes/movies/love

17. The Natural Response
• Anger
• Frustration
• Punishments
• Helplessness

18. The trained response
• Talking to the child
• Dealing with the
problem as a family
• Reporting to
Teachers/principal
• Referring to a
Counsellor

19. Techniques for effectiveness
• More priority to
personality than
performance
• Focus on future
performance
• Avoid talking to a student
when you are very angry –
what ever be the
provocation
• Have a teacher by your
side when talking to a
student.
• Spending time with
problem students will
yield good results
• Focus and encourage good
behaviour in problem
children

20. Techniques for effectiveness
• Sensitive to student’s emotions
• Do not Focus on Performance
• Alert about Problem children
• Dealing at different levels – Family –
Friends – Family – Relatives – School
[Depending on the comfort of the child]

21. Academic
• Creating a conducive
academic atmosphere
• Developing the habit
of Reading
• Providing
Supervision
• Being at home/sitting
with the child
• Don’t find faults

22. Emotional Management
• Acceptance
• Criticism
• Repeated
Appreciation

23. Parents and Emotions
Deprivation
Pampering

24. Enhancing Performance
• Responsibility
• Involvement
• Application

25. Motivation
• Parent Student
• Repeatedly advising == Nagging
• Lecture on others == Stupid Idea
• High Salary/Status == ?!? *.@ ?
• Motivational Speech == No one listens

26. Motivation
• Develop study habits
• Provide Assistance
• Supervise the work
• Increase study time
over weeks or months
• Appreciate small
efforts in front of
others

27. Motivation
Just Talking Wont Yeild Results
70
60
50
40
30
20
10
0
1st Qtr 2nd Qtr
East
West
North
• Perspective with
which parents try to
motivate their children
• Needs different set of
skills to shift from one
state of performance to
another.

28. Motivation
40
35
30
25
20
15
10
5
0
1st Qtr 2nd Qtr 3rd Qtr 4th Qtr
East
West
North

29. Emotional Management
• Low marks
• low self esteem
• Guilt
• Shame
• Embarrassment
• Emotionally
supportive
• Brain functions better
in good mood.
• Do not forget that the
student is far more
upset than you!

30. Thank You
Ladies and Gentlemen