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Handle Difficult
People
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials
Handle Difficult People
Handle Difficult
People
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2012
By the end of the Power Hour you will be able to:
• Understand what we mean by difficult behaviour
• Suggest what might be driving the ‘difficult’
behaviour
• Use Transactional Analysis to take
control of difficult behaviours and
conversations
Handle Difficult
People
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2012
Are ‘Difficult’ People just ‘Different?
• Some people are very sociable, others value time alone
• Some people need detail before they make a decision,
whereas others like to work on ‘gut instinct’
• Some people are relationship focussed whilst others are task
driven
• Some people love new experiences and change, whilst others
value routine.
Often, the people that we find difficult to understand
or identify with, because they are quite different
from us in terms of the way they think and behave
Handle Difficult
People
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2012
What’s Driving the Behaviour?
• We don’t all react the
same way to things
because we are all
different under the
surface
• Try to identify what is
driving the behaviour,
and respond to THAT.
Handle Difficult
People
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2012
Natural Responses to ‘Difficult’ Behaviour
Summarised from the work on Transactional Analysis by Eric Berne
Handle Difficult
People
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2012
Taking Control of Transactions
Psychologically, the easiest transactions between two people are
complementary transactions, but they are not always
appropriate. Just because someone speaks to you as a ‘critical’
parent, doesn’t mean a ‘dutiful’ child is the BEST response…just
the easiest.
Handle Difficult
People
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2012
Taking Control of Transactions
If you resist the natural tendency to respond in a complimentary
way, you can cause a ‘crossed’ transaction (by responding FROM
the ‘adult’ and appealing TO the ‘adult). It is hard to maintain a
crossed transaction, so eventually, you will find yourself in a
complimentary transaction (adult to adult)
Handle Difficult
People
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2012
1. Remember that ‘difficult’ is often just
‘different’.
2. Try not to judge people’s actions based
on your personal values, belief and morals.
3. Think about what might be driving the ‘difficult’
behaviour and respond to that. Sometimes people
attack as a form of defence.
4. Don’t respond in a way that will encourage the difficulty
to persist.
5. Respond in a calm, objective, ‘adult’ way as much as
possible until the other person does the same.
Handle Difficult
People
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2012
Make it Work at Work
What are you going
to DO as a result of
this Power Hour
Session?
Handle Difficult
People
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2012
These slides have been produced as an optional
resource to support a Bite-Size Training session on this
subject.
A full set of materials, including detailed Session
Leader’s Guide, Delegate Workbook and supporting
activities can be purchased from our Training Shop
Our Training materials are licence-free, but are for use
by the purchaser only.
They CANNOT be passed or sold on.

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Handle difficult people

  • 1. Handle Difficult People Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials Handle Difficult People
  • 2. Handle Difficult People Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2012 By the end of the Power Hour you will be able to: • Understand what we mean by difficult behaviour • Suggest what might be driving the ‘difficult’ behaviour • Use Transactional Analysis to take control of difficult behaviours and conversations
  • 3. Handle Difficult People Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2012 Are ‘Difficult’ People just ‘Different? • Some people are very sociable, others value time alone • Some people need detail before they make a decision, whereas others like to work on ‘gut instinct’ • Some people are relationship focussed whilst others are task driven • Some people love new experiences and change, whilst others value routine. Often, the people that we find difficult to understand or identify with, because they are quite different from us in terms of the way they think and behave
  • 4. Handle Difficult People Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2012 What’s Driving the Behaviour? • We don’t all react the same way to things because we are all different under the surface • Try to identify what is driving the behaviour, and respond to THAT.
  • 5. Handle Difficult People Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2012 Natural Responses to ‘Difficult’ Behaviour Summarised from the work on Transactional Analysis by Eric Berne
  • 6. Handle Difficult People Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2012 Taking Control of Transactions Psychologically, the easiest transactions between two people are complementary transactions, but they are not always appropriate. Just because someone speaks to you as a ‘critical’ parent, doesn’t mean a ‘dutiful’ child is the BEST response…just the easiest.
  • 7. Handle Difficult People Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2012 Taking Control of Transactions If you resist the natural tendency to respond in a complimentary way, you can cause a ‘crossed’ transaction (by responding FROM the ‘adult’ and appealing TO the ‘adult). It is hard to maintain a crossed transaction, so eventually, you will find yourself in a complimentary transaction (adult to adult)
  • 8. Handle Difficult People Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2012 1. Remember that ‘difficult’ is often just ‘different’. 2. Try not to judge people’s actions based on your personal values, belief and morals. 3. Think about what might be driving the ‘difficult’ behaviour and respond to that. Sometimes people attack as a form of defence. 4. Don’t respond in a way that will encourage the difficulty to persist. 5. Respond in a calm, objective, ‘adult’ way as much as possible until the other person does the same.
  • 9. Handle Difficult People Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2012 Make it Work at Work What are you going to DO as a result of this Power Hour Session?
  • 10. Handle Difficult People Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2012 These slides have been produced as an optional resource to support a Bite-Size Training session on this subject. A full set of materials, including detailed Session Leader’s Guide, Delegate Workbook and supporting activities can be purchased from our Training Shop Our Training materials are licence-free, but are for use by the purchaser only. They CANNOT be passed or sold on.