1. Recommended Reading
•Proverbs, Jonah
•Joel*, Titus
•True to the Last
•Hand on the Bridle
•The Lamplighter
•Teddy’s Button
•The Basket of Flowers
•Little Threads
Instructional
•Education of a Child by Fenelon
•Let Go by Fenelon
•Families Where Grace is in Place
•How to Act Right When Spouse Acts Wrong
•War of Words by Welch
Angry Jonah
by Mark Hamby
www.lamplighterpublishing.com
1-888-246-7735
Lamplighter Ministries

2. Lamplighter Ministries
Seminars
Theatre
Guild
Publishing &
Bindery

3. Last night my kids had the choice of watching a half an
hour of TV, playing video games for half an hour or
having me read an extra half an hour to them and they
chose reading a Lamplighter book. I was very excited to
have my 9, 7, 5 and one of our neighbors kids (also 5)
all want to sit around my living room while I read a
couple chapters of Basket of Flowers and the Giant
Killer. If they could have stayed awake, we would have
read until midnight. These books are having a
tremendous, positive effect on me and my family.
Grace is flourishing in our home.
George

4. LAMPLIGHTER.NET
Character Comprehension Quizzes

17. Jonah and the ???
David and ???
How do you respond when God asks you
to do something uncomfortable?
When you feel dishonored, rejected,
despised, humiliated, misunderstood,
and used?

19. But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and
he was very angry. And he prayed to the
Lord and said, “I knew if I obeyed you that
this would happen! These wicked
Ninevites are getting off scott free!” For I
knew that you are a gracious God, and
merciful, slow to anger, and of great
kindness…Therefore now, O Lord, take, I
beg you, my life from me; for it is better
to die than to live.

20. H. A. L. T.
If you are:
1.Hungry or high stress
2.Afraid or Angry
3.Lonely or
4.Tired
Conflicts will look bigger
than they are!
d.r.

21. 4 Main Causes of Anger
•Fear (skunk, 5 yr. old.)
•Frustration (warrant for arrest)
•Hurt (home late)
•Selfishness (Jonah)

22. God said, “Jonah, do
you have good reason
to be angry?”
And Jonah said, “yes,
even unto to death!”

23. Jonah rose up to flee;
from the presence
of the Lord.

24. From the presence of the Lord
He went down
And went down
From the presence of the Lord

25. But God sent out/hurled
a great wind on the sea
and there was a great
storm on the sea so that
the ship was about to
break up.

26. In the day of prosperity rejoice;
in the day of adversity consider;
God has appointed both.
Ecc. 7:14

27. Be angry and sin not;
ponder in your own
hearts on your beds,
and be silent.
Psalm 4:4,5

28. Be angry, and do not sin: do not
let the sun go down upon your
wrath, nor give place to the devil.
Ephesians 4:26-27
But the wisdom from above is first
pure, then peaceable, gentle,
open to reason, full of mercy and
good fruits, impartial and sincere.
And a harvest of righteousness
is sown in peace by those who
make peace. Jas 3

29. Two Warnings:
1. Eph 6:4 – provoke not
- proximity, alongside, lit. from side of.
- to be passionate, enrage, to anger
(from root word orgy - violent passions and
perverted sexual relationships) abhorrence,
vengeance, wrath, punishment.
Remedy: bring them up –
to nurture, rearing to maturity, to cherish, train,
nourish, reference to nursing.

30. Two Warnings:
1.Col 3:21 – provoke not
(root word ) to stimulate, irritate, embitter,
rouse to anger or fight, to be quarrelsome,
perverse, to make resentful, to stir up for combat,
i.e. to excite a bull for the arena.
- a child frequently irritated by over-
severity or injustice to which, nevertheless, must
submit, acquires a spirit of sullen resignation
leading to despair. (Abbott)

31. Two Warnings:
Lest they be discouraged:
from the root word - passion, fierce
indignation, breathe hard, smoke, slaughter,
sacrifice, kill, slay.
- negative particle that denotes without
passion, spiritless.

32. Progressive Warning and
Consequence:
In Ephesians, there is a warning with a
remedy.
The child has a spirit to fight back.
In Colossians, there is a warning with
consequences.
The child has lost his spirit.

33. The Wildest Horse in the West
&
Boundaries

35. The Lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger, and plenteous
in mercy.
He has not dealt with us after our
sins; nor rewarded us according to
our iniquities.
Like as a father has compassion on
his children, so the Lord has
compassion on them that fear him.
Psalm 103: 8, 10, 13

36. For the wrath of man works
not the righteousness of God.
James 1:20
Proverbs 15:18
…do you not know that the
goodness of God leads you to
repentance?
Romans 2:4

37. However the men rowed…
Then they cried out
unto God.

38. And the Lord appointed
a great fish.
Then Jonah prayed,
and said, “I cried in my
affliction…I cried and you
heard me…”

39. And the Lord said, Go to
Nineveh and preach…
And Jonah cried out…

40. …the people of Nineveh believed
God, and proclaimed a fast…and
there was a decree proclaimed and
published by the King and nobles
saying, Let neither man nor beast,
herd, nor flock, taste any thing: let
them not feed, nor drink water: but
let man and beast be covered with
sackcloth, and… Jonah 3:8
AND CRY MIGHTILY UNTO GOD.

41. And God saw their works, that they turned
from their evil way; and God repented of the
evil, that he said that he would do unto
them; and he did it not.
But it displeased Jonah exceedingly,
and he was very angry.
And he prayed unto the Lord, and said…I
knew you were a gracious God, and merciful,
slow to anger, and of great kindness, and
would change your mind of the evil you would
do to these wicked people. Therefore, take
my life!

42. The said the Lord, Do you have good reason to
be angry?...And the Lord God prepared a gourd
to give Jonah protection from the sun.
Then God said to Jonah, “Do you have good
reason to be angry about the gourd?” And he
said, “I have good reason to be angry, even
unto to death.”
Selfishness leads to anger, prolonged anger leads to
depression, depression removes hope, and a lack of
hope makes one ashamed, setting the stage for a life
filled with self-centeredness, self-injury, or violent
behavior. Anger, anxiety, and anguish come from the
same Latin root angere, meaning to “choke,” or “to give
pain by pushing together.” The noun form is angustus,
meaning “narrow.” Anxiety and anger constricts and limits
life.

43. God had prepared the waves, the
wind, the whale, a worm, and even a
wonderful shade from the weather;
God prepared RESISTANCE for
Jonah—to help him to see the needs
of his own heart.
When prideful stubborn people experience
resistance, they usually entrench themselves
into willful rebellion or revenge.
1. God rejects the proud…
2. Agree with quickly your adversary!

44. And should not I spare Nineveh,
that great city, wherein are more
than sixscore thousand persons
that cannot discern between their
right hand and their left hand;
and...
And also many cows?

45. I sought the Lord and He heard me and
delivered me from all my fears.
This poor man cried and the Lord heard and
delivered him from all his troubles.
“The righteous cry, and the Lord hears, and
delivers them out of all their troubles. The
Lord is near unto those who are of a broken
heart and saves such as be of a contrite
spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous; but
the Lord delivers him out of all.”
Psalm 34

46. Fund Development Counsel
$20. Bill
Recently, the Lord gave me a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate the power
of His awesome grace to one of my sons.
This son phoned me at the bookstore one day and said, "Guess what, mom... I
found a $20 bill in the pocket of one of my pairs of shorts."
Immediately I discerned that what he was telling me probably wasn't the truth.
But I congratulated him on finding the lost money and we speculated that it was
probably some forgotten birthday money. End of phone call.
When I hung up the phone with him I tried to remind myself to check in a drawer
at home to see if a $20 bill was still there. It is a drawer that the older boys
know about... where my husband and I stash extra cash for emergencies.
That night I forgot to check, but a few days later I remembered and saw that it
was missing. My husband hadn't taken any money from it... and money had
never been missing before. I knew I had to talk to my son.
What a flashback to my childhood!!

47. Fund Development Counsel
My son was from my blood, for sure. But he didn't have the desperate,
driving need for money that I thought I had as a child... or did he? I
remembered the guilt and shame... and the loss of trust with my parents as I
stole time and again and was caught and disciplined for it. I remembered how it
felt... how I knew I lost their trust so I didn't care after awhile... Oh, no. I don't
want my dear son feeling that way or taking that path!
I brought him into a quiet room away from his brothers and we sat
down together. I told him I wanted to tell him a story... and I proceeded to tell
him about when I was a little girl and I had taken a $10 bill from my mother's
wallet. My mother found the money missing very shortly afterward and was
distraught. It was the only money we had for groceries that week! I felt so
terrible... and I really wanted to return the money. But how? I decided to make
up a story to cover my sin. I went outside to where the sprinkler was watering
the lawn and I pretended to find the money under the sprinkler. I went in the
house, triumphant that I had "found" the (now wet) missing money, eager to
hand it over to my distraught mother and make things right again.
Much to my dismay, I was met with an angry parent who vowed that I
was lying... that I had stolen the money... and that I could never be trusted. I
sank deeper into my sin, believing that I might as well be what she claimed I
was. It didn't matter anymore.

48. Fund Development Counsel
I knew that I wanted this encounter with my son to be very, very different. So I
told him the story while holding him in my arms and rubbing his back. Then I
let him know that I was missing $20 and I asked if it was possibly the $20 that
he had found in his pocket. He immediately said, "No, mom... I did find that in
my pocket."
I was so pleased that God was in control!!! It was at this point that I got the
awesome opportunity to heal a great wrong in my life... simply by treating my
son (in his sin) the way that I had only dreamed of being treated.
I said to him, "I BELIEVE you."
I hugged him and sent him on his way.
Later that night I mentioned to him that we needed to put the $20 up on
his "chart." We keep a running account of the younger children's money on a
chart on the refrigerator. Then we keep the cash for them so they don't lose it.
They do this by choice, and he had already given me the $20 bill the day he had
called me to say he had found it in his pocket. They usually keep smaller
amounts in their wallets, but the bigger amounts they give back to us and write
up on their "account."
I had joyfully written the $20 entry on his account. I felt such peace... such joy.
Conviction of sin was up to the Holy Spirit alone!! I had done the only job
required of me... I had lavished "prodigal" grace on my son.

49. Fund Development Counsel
I call it prodigal grace because prodigal means "reckless, lavish,
wasteful." The father in the parable of the "prodigal son" was actually the one
who was reckless, lavish, and wasteful!! He "wasted" the fatted calf on his
wayward son; he "lavished" an undeserved gift of a robe and a ring. He
recklessly ran down the road to meet him. He poured out unconditional love.
Yes -- that is what I lacked as a child. That is what I wanted my son, yet in his
unrepentant sin, to experience.
A few hours later I was preparing to read aloud a book to the boys. My
heartbroken son came into the room and burst into tears at my side. I hugged
him. I asked him if he would like to tell me something.
"Yes...", he stammered, "I.... I did take that money out of your drawer,
Mom."
What joy in my heart to see the Holy Spirit bring about the work of repentance
totally unhindered by me!!!
I said this to him...”Oh, my dear son... I LOVE you. I am so proud of you for
telling me the truth. That took SO much courage. I believed you when you told
me that you didn't take the money because I really trust you. I'm so glad I can
trust you to tell me the truth. I know that was a hard thing to do.

50. Fund Development Counsel
I do want you to know something. All that I have is yours. If you ever
feel like you need money you just come and tell me. I don't ever want you to
feel like you have to steal.
And I want you to keep that money... I don't want it back. I'm just so glad you
let the Holy Spirit work in your heart."
Yes... I wanted him to keep the money. And no one else in our
household knows what happened. I covered over his sin for a very good
purpose --- so that he will never forget what that kind of love feels like.
I don't believe I'll ever deal with this issue with him again. And for that
very reason... it was worth it to be a prodigal mom.
God's love is so radical toward us... so incredibly unbelievable!!
But God demonstrates His own
love toward us, in that while we were
yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
God’s "amazing grace",
Heather

52. shoes
Aspirin
Cell phone

53. DOES GRACE REALLY WORK?
Dear Mr. Hamby,
…When our first child was born 7 years ago, I
looked and looked for Christian teaching on
discipline and raising godly children. I settled on a
"first-time obedience" approach that was popular.
My husband willingly went along with it, being as
uncertain as I was about how to raise godly
children.

54. I carried a lot of anger and resentment toward my
children. I viewed their disobedience as a personal
offense against me. I was exasperated by their lack
of self-control and emotions. My oldest daughter is
very strong-willed, and her temper tantrums were
outrageous. The tantrums were not used as a tool to
get attention in public or to manipulate me, but they
were always directed at me (rarely her father)… Her
behavior outside of the home was impeccable. It
made it very hard to talk with anyone about this
problem.

55. No one believed there WAS a problem, or passed
it off as an isolated incident or a “stage.” And no
one ever, ever challenged me to remove the log
in my own eye. She did not sleep well at night
since very early on. She was defiant and talked
back a lot. My daughter never completed a chore
without intervention from me. She was
determined to have her say when corrected. It
was an uphill battle all the time, and quite frankly I
didn't enjoy her at all.

56. …I had found a discipline style that suited me
early on...but I had not truly searched the
scriptures to find how to reach my children’s
hearts. While I thought I was following God's
lead, I realize that I had my own agenda and it
was a self-righteous one that didn't require me to
change. I wasn't willing to consider that my
convictions were selfish ones. I confessed my
sin to the Lord and began to show more
tenderness and self-control with my daughter. I
still fell into the old ways often, though.

57. When I listened to your message, I could have put
my name in your place. I was ALWAYS correcting
my daughter, ALWAYS finding fault with her
endeavors, ALWAYS saying her name in a way
that implied disapproval or correction, ALWAYS
fussing about undone chores. I had placed
responsibility over relationship. I had a child who
was fearful of my correction - that's the root of the
sleep problem, and the reason for her
unwillingness to try so many things. I was not
casting out fear with love.

58. …I realized that little Sarah had very little chance of earning
my approval. I stopped getting angry every time a simple
chore was left undone. I stopped spanking. I stopped
lecturing. I started cleaning her toys up outside without
asking her to help. I went upstairs and made her bed in the
morning. She spent a Saturday morning with me to run
errands. I asked her what she wanted to do, and that's what
we did. The errands got done another day. She loves
flowers and gardens; I bought her a ton of seed packets and
helped her plant them. She loves to paint; I started painting
with her several times a week. I started hanging a butterfly
on her closet door at night after she fell asleep, so if she
woke up she would KNOW that I had kept my promise to
check on her. I started hugging and kissing her intentionally.

59. In a matter of days, the most remarkable thing
happened. I was doing some cleaning, and I asked
my youngest to do a small chore, which she did
willingly. Without my asking for help, Sarah set
about doing chores—big chores that required a lot
of effort on her part. She dusted, swept, and
washed dishes. She straightened up and put
things away properly. It was then I realized what a
different child she had become. She sleeps better
at night. She laughs more, and she is not as angry.

60. She takes offenses from her younger sister better.
She handles disappointment with grace and not
anger. She says “yes ma'am” and “no ma'am”
consistently. She accepts my correction willingly
and changes her behavior when necessary. She
cleans up her outdoor toys without being told. She
wants me to read to her now instead of just
tolerating it. And best of all, she has started talking
about the things that are in her heart, and she
wants ME to hear them.

61. When I started trying to disciple Sarah the way
Jesus would, she bloomed. She is a joy to be
with, and I have lost my anger and impatience.
When those feelings do try and creep to the
surface I can label them, confess them, and deal
with them before they control me.
…God allows us to remember our sins, not so we
condemn ourselves repeatedly, but so we can
show others what he has delivered us from. …
Our God is a GREAT God.

62. Resistance is Designed by God
In the day of prosperity rejoice;
in the day of adversity consider;
God has appointed both.
Ecc. 7:14
So what shall we do in the day of adversity?
Jonah 1:11

63. Mark,
This is going to be hard for me to write. I've wanted to for quite a while but have
procrastinated. I'll openly admit that one of my struggles is "approval of men" and I've held
back from sending it for that reason.
I've been very fortunate in this life. God has blessed me with a beautiful wife and soon to
be six wonderful kids. We go to a church I love and have made friends with couples that I
care deeply for. I've been allowed and privileged to meet some incredible men and women
who deeply love God, you being one of them. And I have the honor of watching my wife's
dream of helping other women become real. I don't know what kind of impression you had
during your short visit with us, but hopefully some of who my family really "is" came across.
However, a message I'm trying to share with those that come to know me is that but for the
grace and love of God, I would have lost everything.
I've made some serious mistakes in my life. Four and a half years ago, on Monday,
October 16, 2000, I found myself at rock bottom. Sunday, the night before, Marybeth and I
had a horrible fight. In a rage, I lashed out and shoved her back into a table and then left
the house to spend the night at my mom's. I was arrested that next afternoon in our
previous church's parking lot. (I was on the way into a counseling session for her and I.)
Because there was physical evidence of abuse, the state took over and began prosecuting
me for violence against a female. I spent that Monday night in jail (hell) completely
separated from any sort of love. I had lost my wife, my children (she had me served with a
restraining order that night), my church, and my friends. And unfortunately, that's just the
beginning. Besides anger, I had been struggling with pornography all my life, had become
addicted to the 'net, had been having an affair, and had severe financial difficulties. I spent
that night in jail barely able to breath, alone in the darkness of a loveless place, crying out
to God to forgive me. I couldn't have put it into words at the time, but now I realize just how
deeply angry at myself and ashamed of myself I had always been.

64. My father bailed me out the next day. The very second I pulled his car door shut, I began sobbing.
Things were very hard for me (thankfully) after that. I had to complete a year of anger management
class for the state of NC and also began seeing a Christian counselor. In January of 2001, I began
meeting with a group of seven other guys at the Barnabas Center, a counseling center in Charlotte.
It lasted for over two years. God also brought other "messengers" to me who shared wonderful
stories of God's love and grace. I slowly began to rebuild my life.
Things are much better now. I don't deserve any of what I have - I've learned a lot about
brokenness, humbleness, forgiveness, and redemption. Our marriage has it's ups and downs, but
Marybeth is my best friend. I'm a better father to my children. I have guy friends now - guys I can
actually talk to. I don't have life "figured out." I still have to be careful. But most of the time, I feel
hopeful.
At this point in my life, I'm doing all I know how to do to share with others what I've been through
and all that I've learned over the past 4 ½ years. I've been able to help some couples at church
with money issues and marital issues, and also become involved with our church's men's ministry.
I'm going to keep pushing my life in the direction of helping people, hoping that one day I'll figure out
a way to do it full time. It's my heart's desire to tell others about the amazing grace that saved a
wretch like me.
And I think I know why I specifically wanted to send you this. Your message of God's love - the
story of a father who's willing to do anything to restore the relationship with his son - touches
something in my soul that leaves me breathless. Do you struggle with whether you're saying the
right thing? I hope not. I'm here to tell you that as a prodigal son, I would want a father such as you
(I have one by the way. My dad's love is very similar to yours.) After living a life eating the remains
of the pigs' supper, I believe with all my heart that God's love is just as you describe it. Yes, God is
a God of judgment. But His grace is greater then I could ever imagine or deserve. Thank you.

65. Progressive Warning and
Consequence:
In Ephesians, there is a warning
with a remedy.
The child has a spirit to fight
back.
In Colossians, there is a warning
with consequences.
The child has lost his spirit.

66. Fathers, provoke not your
children to wrath, but bring
them up in the nurture and
admonition of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4
Provoke: to anger, alongside,
enrage
Deliberate thought
Spills over to rage

67. Two Warnings:
1. Eph 6:4 – provoke not
- proximity, alongside, lit. from side of.
- to be passionate, enrage, to anger
(from root word orgy - violent passions and
perverted sexual relationships) abhorrence,
vengeance, wrath, punishment.
Remedy: bring them up –
to nurture, rearing to maturity, to cherish,
train, nourish, reference to nursing.

68. Two Warnings:
1.Col 3:21 – provoke not
(root word ) to stimulate, irritate, embitter,
rouse to anger or fight, to be quarrelsome,
perverse, to make resentful, to stir up for combat,
i.e. to excite a bull for the arena.
- a child frequently irritated by over-
severity or injustice to which,
nevertheless, must submit, acquires a
spirit of sullen resignation leading to
despair. (Abbott)

69. Two Warnings:
Lest they be discouraged:
from the root word - passion, fierce
indignation, breathe hard, smoke, slaughter,
sacrifice, kill, slay.
- negative particle that denotes without
passion, spiritless.

70. REACTIONS OF RESISTANT,
RESENTFUL CHILDREN
POWER → pride, protection
REVENGE → hurt (Razor Reservoir)
ATTENTION → insecure
INADEQUACY → ashamed,
lack of character, self-discipline, handicap
(emotional, physical and mental)

71. Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with
Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she
is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her
piercing's, and the fact that she is much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion...Dad, she's pregnant.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday
I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Love, Your Son,
John

72. PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm
over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse
things in life than the report
card, that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
Perspective