A satirical guide through the recruitment process: a jobseekers guide to keeping the recruitment consultant on-side. 11 tips.

1. A jobseeker’s guide through the
interview process
11 tips to keeping your recruitment consultant on-side
23/12/09

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Tip 1: peace, not war
Contrary to popular believe, recruiters are on your side.
Working to an agenda that’s different to your consultant’s
will end in disaster.
Remember, you both want the same thing.

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Tip 2: be a sniper, not a bomber
Nothing infuriates a recruitment consultant more
than inaccurate job applications.
Applying for jobs you aren’t qualified
to do loses you respect and
wastes time.

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Tip 3: manage your expectations
Only fools register with more than four
recruitment agencies.
Research which agencies best meet your
requirements and stick with them.
This saves you time and anguish.

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Tip 4: don’t be a pest
A guaranteed way to annoy your recruitment
consultant is to call him every hour.
Rest assured, good news for you
means good news for your
consultant.
Avoid this man by playing it cool

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Tip 5: turn up to the interview
Your recruiter’s slogged his guts out and your
patience/persistence/skills have won you an interview.
If you don’t turn up karma should reward you
with a sole-destroying factory job,
somewhere near Hull.

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Tip 6: in the interview, ask questions
Incurious people are stupid. Don’t just nod,
prod. Interviews are a two-way thing and asking
open questions highlights your interest and
sparks engagement.
If the interviewer wants a lap-dog, walk out.

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Tip 7: don’t skulk in the shadows
Once you’ve had your interview call your recruitment
consultant immediately.
Waiting for him/her to call you is
tedious and shows a lack of respect.
If you’re not interested, say so. Fast.

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Tip 8: snowballing
You’ve made it through to the next round: good work.
Keep the momentum going by organising the second
interview as soon as possible.
Build it up quick before the interest thaws.

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Tip 9: questions to avoid
Never ask the following questions in an interview:
1. What is the salary for this position?
2. What are the hours?
3. How much holiday do I get?
Ask useless questions like these, you’ll be reciting
them again down at local Co-Op

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Tip 10: be transparent
If you’ve got other ‘irons in the fire’ please
let your consultant know. This manages
expectations.
After weeks of graft nothing
is more infuriating than the
bolt-from-the-blue job offer.
And it won’t win you any friends.
Blue Bolt: even more annoying than he looks

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Tip 11: show some love
Go on, give your recruiter a hug. Take in a movie or
share a pizza, perhaps.
Forging a good relationship early will be better for
everyone’s longer-term prospects.

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