How Bystanders Can Affect the Bully/Victim relationship

1. B EFORE W E G ET S TARTED
 Please sign in in order to receive your CPE credit
 Write your name on a popsicle stick and place it
in the bind before the seminar begins.
 Pick up all handouts
 Please complete the short survey after the
presentation.

2. F IRST R ESPONDERS : T HE
C ALMING E LEMENT O F
R ATIONALITY B ETWEEN THE
B ULLY AND THE V ICTIM

3. A B IT A BOUT M E
 Educational Consultant with NDT Educational
Services since April 2010
 Taught high school, elementary & college
 Certified in EC-4 ELA & Reading 4-8 & G/T
Supplement
 Have two daughters, two dogs, one cat and five
fish
 Love school

4. TODAY IS THE …
Festival of Sleep Day
 Scientists say that sleep is essential to memory
 Brain uses those hours to arrange memories so
you can better recall key emotional moments
 Skimp on sleep = elevated levels of inflammation
and crave higher-calorie foods

5. B AD J OKE OF THE D AY

6. W HAT IS K NOWN AT PALMER
 Bullying is an increasing problem.
 Students do a good job telling adults when
bullying happens.
 How to address the problem if it escalates to an
office referral-type situation

7. W HAT IS U NKNOWN AT PALMER
 Issue #1 - How to help other students, i.e.
witnesses to the bullying, to step in appropriately
to help the victims
 Issue #2 - Various strategies to teach students to
help deescalate inappropriate interactions
 Issue # 3 - How to give students the power to
proactively address the problem before they get
to an office referral

8. T HE B ULLY - G ARFIELD

9. T HE V ICTIM - C ALVIN

10. T HE B YSTANDER -

11. W HAT I S B ULLYING ?
 Please honestly complete the page “What is
Bullying?” in your handouts.
(This will not be discussed with anyone)

12. Quick Review

13. T HE D EFINITION OF B ULLYING
 Bullying happens when someone hurts or scares
another person on purpose and the person being
bullied has a hard time defending himself or
herself.
 Usually, bullying happens over and over.

14. E XAMPLES OF B ULLYING
 Punching, shoving, and other acts that hurt
people physically
 Spreading bad rumors about people
 Keeping certain people out of a "group"
 Teasing people in a mean way
 Getting certain people to "gang up" on others

15. O THER F ORMS OF B ULLYING
 Cyber bullying is when children or teens bully
each other using the Internet, mobile phones or
other cyber technology.
 Can include sending mean text, email, or instant
messages
 Posting negative pictures or messages about
others in blogs or on Web sites
 Using someone else's user name to spread rumors
or lies about someone

16. E FFECTS OF B ULLYING
 Bullying is "just a fact of life" or "no big deal."
 Too often, people just don't take bullying seriously
- or until the sad and sometimes scary stories are
revealed.
 It happens a lot more than some people think.
 Studies show that between 15-25% of U.S.
students are bullied with some frequency, while
15-20% report they bully others with some
frequency

17. E FFECTS OF B ULLYING C ONT.
 It can mess up a kid's future.
 Young people who bully are more likely to skip
and/or drop out of school. They are also more
likely to smoke, drink alcohol and get into fights
 It scares some people so much that they skip
school.
 As many as 160,000 students may stay home on
any given day because they're afraid of being
bullied

18. E FFECTS OF B ULLYING C ONT.
 It can lead to huge problems later in life.
 Children who bully are more likely to get into
fights, vandalize property, and drop out of school.
And 60% of boys who were bullies in middle
school had at least one criminal conviction by the
age of 24 (Olweus, 1993).

19. A ND I T ’ S A
N ATION -W IDE P ROBLEM
States with laws on bullying
States with no laws on bullying
Updated October 2010

20. M YTH #1 -
B ULLYING IS THE S AME
AS C ONFLICT
 Bullying is aggressive behavior that involves an
imbalance of power or strength. Often, bullying
is repeated over time.
 Conflict involves antagonism among two or more
people.

21. M YTH #2 –
B ULLIED C HILDREN W ILL
A LWAYS T ELL AN A DULT
 Most studies find that only 25%-50% of bullied
children talk to an adult about the bullying.

22. M YTH #3 - CHILDREN WHO
OBSERVE BULLYING DON ’ T
WANT TO GET INVOLVED .
 In a recent study of t’weens, 56% said that they
usually either say or do something to try to stop
bullying that they observe or tell someone who
could help.

23. I SSUE #1 - H OW TO H ELP
S TUDENTS G ET I NVOLVED
 Share Your Story
 Listen to Their Stories
 Take a Pledge

24. I SSUE # 2 - T EACHABLE
S TRATEGIES TO DEESCALATE
INTERACTIONS
 Speak Up
 Reach Out
 Be a Friend

25. I SSUE # 3 - G IVING STUDENTS
THE POWER
 Rule of 3/Broken
Record Technique
 Tattling vs. Reporting
 Give a Certificate

26. W HAT Y OU C AN D O
TO H ELP –
S UGGESTED R EADING L IST
 Amelia's Bully Survival Guide, Marissa Moss
Suggested age: 8 to 12 years
As if science class isn't enough to deal with–now Amelia has to deal with
the class bully.
 Because You Matter, Jan Carmen Liles Suggested age: 5 to 8 years
There is trouble at the Countryside Zoo and Harriet Hummingbird is out
to investigate. When she finds her dear friends at the zoo feeling down
about themselves after being bullied by a gang of weasels, Harriet takes
action. First of all, she reassures each animal of their unique beauty and
goodness. Then Harriet rallies her bird friends to craft a solution
everyone will love.
 Blubber, Judy Blume
Suggested age: 9 to 12 years
A young girl goes along with tormenting a classmate and the finds out
what it is like to be target too.

27. S UGGESTED R EADING L IST
C ONT.
 Hooway for Wodney Wat, Helen Wester
Suggested age: 5 to 8 years
Classmates makes fun of someone because of a speech impediment.
 Just Kidding, Trudy Ludwig
Suggested age: 8 to 12 years
Addresses the topic of teasing and emphasizes that jokes make people feel
bad and can damage self-esteem.
 King of the Playground, Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
Suggested age: 4 to 8 years
With his dad's help, a young boy overcomes her fear of a boy who will not let
him on the playground.
 Mi Enemiga Secreta (My Secret Bully), Trudy Ludwig, translator Aurora
Hernandez
My Secret Bully, Trudy Ludwig
Suggested age: 5 to 8 years
A girl confides to her mother that her best friend is treating her badly, and
together they figure out what to do.

28. S UGGESTED R EADING L IST
C ONT.
 Recess Queen, Alexis O'Neil
Suggested age: 4 to 8 years
The biggest bully on the school playground is challenged by a new girl at
school.
 Say Something, Peggy Moss
Suggested age: 8 to 12 years
A child who never say anything when other children are being teased or
bullied finds herself in their position one day when jokes are made at her
expense and no one speaks up.
 Stand Tall, Molly Lou Melon, Patty Lovell
Suggested age: 4 to 8 years
A young girl is ready for when the class bully at a new school makes fun of
her.
 Stop Picking on Me, Pat Thomas, Leslie Harker
Suggested age: 5 to 8 years
Simple and direct language to help young kids accept the normal fears and
worries that accompany bullying.

29. S UGGESTED R EADING L IST
C ONT.
 Nobody Knew What to Do, Becky Ray McCain
Suggested age: 6 to 9 years
When bullies pick on a boy at school, a classmate
is afraid, by decides he must do something.
 The Hundred Dresses, Eleanor Estes
Suggested age: 8 to 10 years
Classic, award winning book about prejudice and
understanding.

30. M OST I MPORTANT T HINGS
Y OU CAN D O …
 LISTEN TO THEM
 WATCH THEM
 ACKNOWLEDGE
THEM

31. Any Questions?

32. C ONTACT I NFORMATION
 Nichole Hertel, M.Ed.
 NDT Educational Services
 Email: nhertel.ndtes@yahoo.com
 Phone: (713) 857-5262

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