3. Forgiveness
“Forgiveness is a process (or the result of a
process) that involves a change in emotion and
attitude regarding an offender. Most scholars
view this an intentional and voluntary process,
driven by a deliberate decision to forgive.
This process results in decreased motivation to
retaliate or maintain estrangement from an
offender despite their actions, and requires
letting go of negative emotions toward
the offender.”
-American Psychological Association
4. “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
-Lewis Smedes
5. Justice and Forgiveness
Retributive Justice - Focus on punishing the
offender (Law of Moses - Burn house down)
Restorative Justice - Offender accountable, victim
receive compensation or expressions of remorse from
offender (Christ - Beauty for ashes)
Forgiveness - Positive thoughts and emotions
towards offender (focusing on offender’s humanity
rather than defining him or her in terms of the offense,
having Christlike love)
Witvliet et al. (2008)
8. Benefits of Forgiveness
In addition to lower cortisol, blood pressure, heart
strain, muscle tension and other body benefits,
forgiveness:
- Improves mood
- Lowers the rate of psychiatric illness
- Leads to a greater sense of personal control
- Facilitates the restoration of relationship
closeness, which is also a predictor for lifespan
9. 1. Acknowledge how you feel (sad, depressed, angry, shame, guilt, frustrated, betrayed, etc.)
2. Understand what YOU mean by forgiveness, and decide to do it
3. Work to understand the perspective of the offender and develop empathy and compassion
towards them
4. Understand your own shortcomings and need for forgiveness (humility)
5. Find positive meaning in past events
6. Practice until you become it
10. What helps you to forgive?
And how do you feel when you do it?
11. Benefits of Compassion
Fostering compassion:
- Protects against aging effects (telomere
length)
- Decreases stress reaction
- Increases your ability to receive social support
- Sense of well-being and life satisfaction
12. What helps you develop compassion
for others?
And how do you feel when you do it?
13. “It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close
to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the
loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your
home for this is where our love for each other must start.”
- Mother Teresa
