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Deanna Troi – Empath in Star Trek
Justine
Are you an Empath? Read here about empathic traits and my
empath journey!
Share this post and help spread the love!
So, I’m an empath and an emotional healer, but I’ve only come to this realisation in the past 2 years.
Before that, I’d never really given any thoughts particularly to empaths and healers. In fact, a year
ago if you’d asked me to explain what an empath was without looking it up, the first picture that
probably would have come to mind would be Deanna Troi who was a character in Star Trek (yep I’m
a trekky nerd lol).
The first time someone said that I was a healer, I was a little amused and baffled at the thought of it
because to me, when I thought of healers, I would think of Jesus performing miracles 2000 years
ago, turning water into wine, feeding thousands with only a few loaves of bread and fish, laying
hands on the terminally ill and voila they’re recovered.
You get the point, to me I thought of it as some mystical,
magical thing that may or may not have happened in the
past and as far as in the present? Yeah I was cynical.
(Along with being a Trekkie nerd I was also a church nerd
;) I went to church pretty much from birth through till I was
18. I’m 30 now.)
So yeah as far as my comprehension of the the terms
empath and healer, I had only a naive, surface
understanding and certainly had never dreamed of
applying those titles to myself.
So what DID I know about myself and those around me? I
did know that people naturally gravitated to me. People
with troubled, cracked, anxious souls gravitated to me.
This pull to me became even more obvious to me when I
started playing in a virtual world online. I met many people
along the way but oh my goodness the amount of troubled
souls that would come to me and I’d barely know them and
they would start to share their stories with me. I’d naturally
want to help make them feel better, I supported them
emotionally, encouraged them and tried to build them up. I
never thought much about why, it was just who I was..and
well who I still am. But geez it zapped my energy. I remember
at one point a couple of years ago being so completely
overwhelmed, frustrated and at a loss as to what to do, as
these energy zappers who I called my friends and whom I
cared for dearly, they were awesome people but all they ever
seemed to do was come to me filled with negativity, anger, hate, sadness depending on what their life problems
were. They would come to me because they knew I would understand, they knew I wouldn’t judge them, they
knew that I would comfort them, they knew I would fill them up with positivity and make them feel good. This
sounds good in theory but then what would happen was they’d go back to their life with my warm positive energy
and feeling uplifted but with no intention of changing anything in their life so the problems in their life never had a
Loaves of Bread & Fish Miracle
Healing Hands
chance of disappearing. So the positivity I gave them would help for awhile but soon enough life would pull them
down again and they’d come back to me in need of a
positive energy refill. I now call these people ‘energy
vampires’.
They took but rarely gave back. Don’t get me wrong, they
were nice, funny people, they definitely weren’t horrible
people and it wasn’t all bad, most of the time it wasn’t
intentional and they weren’t even aware they were doing
it but ultimately they were just more concerned with their
lives, their needs and thinking the world should change
for them and not vice versa because the thought of
change was too hard and they didn’t know how, so they
went seeking happy people to make them feel better
temporarily.
I myself was going through some major life changes at
the time and trying to figure out who I was and my place in
the world but sometimes it was all just too much, I felt lost
and exhausted and couldn’t figure out why and how to
snap myself out of it. I had no energy left, I felt completely
sapped, full of everyone’s negativity including my own and
it was so hard to build that energy back up because I
didn’t have many energising people in my life and I wasn’t
taking the time to refill my energy stores, so I was
functioning on auto-pilot, just barely.
You might be sitting there and going errrrr well why not
just stop helping these people? Noone was forcing you
to support them and build them up. If you are thinking
that, you would be completely right. Except for the small matter that I’ve always had this strong need to help
others. I hate seeing people in pain and struggling with life. People might be very good at putting up a brave,
confident face to the world, all the while hiding and covering up how they’re really feeling underneath but I almost
always see past that, I sense the actual truth, feel it and know it and for some unfathomable reason I have this
compelling urge to try and help, it’s hard to say no. I called myself a nurturer aka as a softie. ;) To try and help,
was to me as natural as breathing, even if I knew it was going to sap my energy.
It was around this time about 2 years ago where I had so many energy vampires in my life and my life was
starting to spiral down, that I had a friend point out to me in one of my frustrated (at self) moments that the reason
why I always have this inherent need to help others even at the expense of myself, was because I was a healer,
an emotional healer and most likely an Empath. As I mentioned earlier, my first response was to be amused and
baffled, yet at the same time something in me clicked. You know, those lightbulb moments where you have a mass
of thoughts and shifting ideas spiraling around in your mind and suddenly they all settle into place and there’s
now one clear picture. Clarity!
I of course immediately started researching about empaths and healers and in reading some of the articles on
common traits and habits, it was almost like someone had sat down with me personally, heard my life story and
taken note of all my personal traits and posted it up on the net under empaths…. ok that might be the slightest
exaggeration but the articles were pretty darn close to being identical to me. ;) Empaths won’t necessarily have
every single common trait, but can I tell ya, after I read the 30 common traits, which I’ve listed below, I could easily
mark off 26 of the 30 traits as being me.
Before I get too carried away with my own personal experiences and discoveries about being an empath. Let me
show you the list of the 30 most common traits of an empath, I also added in one more of my own. Can you relate
to these traits at all? Or do you know of someone like this?
Suddenly the light bulb lit up!
Light Bulb Moment – I get it!!!
The Aha Moment!
1. Knowing: Empaths just know stuff, without being told. It’s a knowing
that goes way beyond intuition or gut feelings, even though that is how many
would describe the knowing. The more attuned they are the stronger this gift
becomes.
2. Can appear moody, shy, aloof, disconnected: Depending on how
an Empath is feeling will depend on what face they show to the world.
They can be prone to mood swings and if they’ve taken on too much
negative will appear quiet and unsociable, even miserable. An
Empath detests having to pretend to be happy when they’re sad, this only
adds to their load (makes working in the service industry, when it’s service
with a smile, very challenging) and can make them feel like
scuttling under a stone.
3. Feeling others emotions and taking them on as your
own: This is a huge one for Empaths. To some, they will feel
emotions off those near by and with others they will feel
emotions from those a vast distance away, or both. The more
adept Empath will know if someone is having bad thoughts
about them, even from a great distance.
4. You know when someone is not being honest: If a
friend or a loved one is telling you lies you know it (although
many Empaths try not to focus on this because knowing a
loved one is lying can be painful). Or if someone is saying one
thing but feeling/thinking another, you know.
5. Creative: From singing, dancing, acting, drawing or
writing an Empath will have a strong creative streak and a
vivid imagination.
6. Constant fatigue: Empaths often get drained of energy,
either from energy vampires or just taking on too much
from others, which even sleep will not cure. Many get
diagnosed with ME.
7. Digestive disorders and lower back
problems: The solar plexus chakra is based in the centre
of the abdomen and it’s known as the seat of emotions.
This is where Empaths feel the incoming emotion of
another, which can weaken the area and eventually lead to
anything from stomach ulcers to IBS (too many other
conditions to list here). Lower back problems can develop
from being ungrounded (amongst other things) and one,
who has no knowledge of them being an Empath, will
almost always be ungrounded.
8. Always looking out for the underdog: Anyone
whose suffering, in emotional pain or being bullied draws
an Empath’s attention and compassion.
9. Others will want to offload their problems on you,
even strangers: An Empath can become a dumping ground for everyone else’s issues and problems, which, if
they’re not careful can end up as their own.
10. Drawn to healing, holistic therapies and all things metaphysical: Although many Empaths would love to
heal others, they can end up turning away from healing (even though they have a natural ability for it), after
they’ve studied and qualified, because they take on too much from the one they are trying to heal. Especially if
they are unaware of their empathy. Anything of a supernatural nature is of interest to Empaths and they don’t
surprise or get shocked easily. Even at the revelation of what many others would consider unthinkable, for
example, Empaths would have known the world was round when others believed it was flat.
11. Addictive personality: Alcohol, drugs, sex, are to name but a few addictions Empaths turn to, to block out
the emotions of others. It can be a form of self protection in order to hide from someone or something (external
emotions).
12. Need for solitude: An Empath will go stir-crazy if they don’t get quiet time. This is even obvious in empathic
children.
13. Gets bored or distracted easily if not stimulated: Work, school and home life has to be kept interesting
for an Empath or they switch off from it and end up daydreaming or doodling.
14. Finds it impossible to do things they don’t enjoy: As above. Feels like they are living a lie by doing so.
To force an Empath to do something they dislike through guilt or labelling them as idle will only serve in making
them unhappy. It’s for this reason many Empaths get labelled as being lazy.
15. Strives for the truth: This becomes more prevalent when an Empath discovers his/her gifts and birthright.
Anything untruthful feels plain wrong.
16. Always looking for answers and knowledge: To have unanswered questions can be frustrating for
an Empath and they will endeavour to find an explanation. If they have a knowing about something they will look
for confirmation. The downside to this is an information overload.
17. Finds routine, rules or control, imprisoning: Anything that takes away their freedom is debilitating to
an Empath even poisoning.
18 Loves to daydream: An Empath can stare into space for hours, in a world of their own and blissfully happy.
19. Excellent listener: An Empath won’t talk about themselves much unless it’s to someone they really trust.
They love to learn and know about others and genuinely care.
20. Intolerance to narcissism: Although kind and often very tolerant of others, Empaths do not like to be around
overly egotistical people, who put themselves first and refuse to consider anyone’s feelings or points of view, other
than their own.
21. Will not choose to buy antiques, vintage or second-hand: Anything that’s been pre-owned carries the
energy of the previous owner. An Empath will even prefer to have a brand new car or house (if they are in the
financial situation to do so) with no residual energy.
NOTE TO THIS: I personally LOVE antique, vintage ANYTHING. My dream home and car would be vintage and
antique without a doubt. I love thinking of the history contained in the walls of a home, the stories that can be told
of it’s past and you do get a sense and energy of whether a place has a good or bad aura. In reading some of the
comments in other blogs/forums about this particular trait, this seems to be the same for alot of other empaths too.
So I’d amend the above to be, you either really love antique & vintage for the history and past residual energy of it,
or you avoid it exactly because of it.
22. Likes adventure, freedom and travel: Empaths are free spirits.
23. Picking up physical symptoms off another: An Empath will almost always develop the ailments off
another (colds, eye infections, body aches and pains), especially those who they’re closest to, somewhat like
sympathy pains.
24. Watching violence, cruelty or tragedy on the TV is unbearable: The more attuned an Empath becomes
the worse it is and may make it so they eventually have to stop watching TV and reading newspapers altogether.
25. Love of nature and animals: Being outdoors in nature is a must for Empaths and pets are an essential part
of their life.
26. 29. Being in public places can be overwhelming: Places like shopping malls, supermarkets or stadiums,
where there are lots of people around, can fill the Empath with turbulently vexed emotions that are coming from
others.
27. Prone to carry weight without necessarily overeating: The excess weight, especially around the belly
area, is a form of protection to stop the negative incoming energies having as much impact.
28. Abhors clutter: It makes an Empath feel weighed down and blocks the flow of energy.
29. The ability to feel the days of the week: An Empath will get the ‘Friday Feeling’ if they work Fridays or not.
They pick up on how the collective are feeling. The first couple of days of a long, bank holiday weekend (Easter for
example) can feel, to them, like the world is smiling, calm and relaxed. Sunday evenings, Mondays and Tuesdays,
of a working week, have a very heavy feeling.
30. Sense the energy of food: Many Empaths don’t like to eat meat or poultry because they can feel the
vibrations of the animal (especially if the animal suffered), even if they like the taste.
(One I’ve added) 31. Avoid Confrontation and Conflict: If I had to add another one to the list it would be that
we hate conflict and confrontation and will try to avoid it at all costs.
One of the most interesting things to discover about being an empath for me, was that certain traits I’d assumed
would be in almost everyone naturally…are not. For example, I’ve always had a pretty good gauge on people’s
moods and likely reactions to things. I’ve interacted with some strong personalities as well as difficult, moody and
volatile personalities over the years. The trait I added in above was that empaths hate conflict, we avoid it like the
plague. This might sound ideal, to be in the role of peacemaker, but at other times it’s got me into trouble when I
really should just face up to the situation. Regardless, I’ve always had a knack for sensing the potential for an
argument or fight even before it happens, all based off of someone’s mood and energy they’re giving off, and the
person they’d be getting into an argument with, would seem to just miss it completely or just wouldn’t care, I would
think in my head, like HOW can they not see that if they persist with this….. that THIS, THIS and THAT will
happen, it’s plain as day to me. ABORT, ABORT, repeat ABORTTTT!! Sure enough 7 times out of 10 the situation
would escalate and play out how i sensed it would.
Turns out it’s not natural for everyone to be able to pick up on peoples energy and moods by reading their body
language and verbal cues. It can be a learned trait, to learn how to read people by consciously making the effort
to be aware of it and look for clues but for empaths, this is automatic. I don’t even need someone to say a word,
they can be just sitting in the room and I’ll pick up on their mood fast.
Now, speaking with people online you might think it would be harder to pick up their true mood and energy
because they’re not right there in front of you but for me personally I can pick up the vibe and mood of someone in
the tone of their words. How they structure their sentences, it will change depending on their mood. Granted it can
take longer sometimes, it is definitely alot easier to fake your mood online then in person if all that is being
exchanged is typed words. I can’t read their facial expressions, and I can’t pick up on certain tone changes in their
voice but I still pick up the mood eventually because it’s not all about the visual and aural cues. As I’ve learnt, we
pick up on the energy and tap into the emotions within that energy, so it’s almost like reading their mind, but not
quite, more the emotions associated with their thoughts. Sitting here trying to describe it, it all sounds slightly
absurd yet makes total sense to me, I just do it without thinking… well mostly. I’m amused anytime I’ve mentioned
that kinda thing to others they think I’m crazy, way too sensitive and obsess too much on details (which sometimes
can be true, especially if people work overtime to try and hide their real feelings from me) but mostly I still pick it up
and end up being right! It is pretty automatic also, that we will try and resolve tough, awkward situations quickly
and if we’re unable to then we’ll avoid it altogether or runnnnn (another past favourite solution of mine).
Overall, being able to read peoples moods and real feelings has been a handy skill to have, but on the downside,
it has often made me leery of taking a chance in certain areas of my life, including relationships and you can start
to second guess things. This wariness of what could happen has often meant that I have missed potentially
awesome opportunities, just so that I don’t get hurt because I can sense the potential downfalls and don’t want to
risk the emotional toll. I know I’m not the only empath to build up my walls of defense sky high so people can’t
easily get past because if they do and they hurt us, the pain is felt so much stronger and vividly. However, just
because we sense possible outcomes, does not always mean this will be the actual outcome and sometimes our
emotions can get muddied by past similar situations. The good thing is, not everything is set in concrete, that is
the beauty of life, the choice to change and choose your outcome.
So despite these strong walls I have put up, I have come to realise that we can’t and shouldn’t always avoid
conflict, that facing up to some situations to resolve them, rather then have them build up and explode into
something unnecessary, is crucial in how our life will turn out. Whilst other times we know when we really need to
avoid and disappear from a situation even at the risk of feeling bereft. Finding that happy medium can be a
challenge. I guess it depends on the context.
In the past year or two that I’ve been researching about being empathic it has helped me understand so much
about myself and why I do, say and react to things a certain way. I’m still learning the best ways to deal with all the
emotional energies that get sent my way. Some days I’ll feel completely on top of things and then the next thing I
know I’ll feel like I’ve been slammed to the ground with waves of emotion washing over me and making me feel
really upset and sad or really angry and frustrated. On upside the high days are out of this world, I’ll feel euphoric,
super high, happy and at peace with the world like I can achieve anything I set my mind to.
I don’t have any clearcut answers just yet for the best ways to manage being an empath and dealing with some of
the energies and emotions that come your way. I’m still learning for myself but I do know that I will share what
works for me as I continue along this path of self discovery. From what I’ve read and learnt so far, meditation is
important for helping centre your emotions and state of mind and clearing out some of the toxic emotions. Finding
people who energise you and don’t deplete you is also important but even then you still have to be mindful. This
might only apply to me but I find that the people that energise me, I can’t help but lower my guard down, letting
them in and past my defenses. This leaves me open and vulnerable and although the energisers might be good for
you overall, it also means that if they hurt you ( I don’t mean physically), then it will hit you a whole lot harder then
others because what tends to happen is you completely immerse yourself in the friendship/relationship and
become so in tune with them, wrapped up in their warm, positive energy. You might even put them up on a
pedastal unintentionally because you know that it’s not often that you find someone who energises you rather then
saps your energy but you have to remember that they are still human and they’re definitely not perfect. They have
their own challenges in life to deal with, so don’t rely too much on them because then you might end up doing to
them what others have done to you. Not sure if I’m making any sense here.
One other thing we have to be mindful of is going to the opposite extreme and completely closing ourselves off
from others. Sometimes dealing with the emotions and energies of others combined with your own can feel so
overwhelming that you just can’t deal with it and so you shut off your emotions completely. I’ve done it myself
where I’ve cut ties with alot of friends and family and shut myself away in my own world so I didn’t have to deal
with it. Sometimes I’ve thought I could go away to an isolated island for a month with noone around and be
completely happy, sometimes I literally crave it. Sounds a bit dramatic I know but I think gosh it would be nice to
be somewhere without all these energies and only my own to focus on so that I can get my own thoughts and
emotions in order. Yep folks, reading above you can see I’m definitely still getting a handle on it all but I do still feel
blessed for having the empathic abilities and I also know that I can do alot of good in the world being an emotional
healer. You just have to make sure that you yourself are healed and grounded firmly in your life and world before
you can help others ya know? So that’s what I’m doing, I’m learning and working on myself to be the best version
of me.
Ok I have gone on long enough with this blog. I hope you have gained some helpful insights. You might have had
your own aha moment reading this and going yessss I can relate. You might also be going oh good does this
mean I’m not going crazy? Haha not yet ;) see it as a blessing and a gift if used correctly. I will definitely be
expanding on the matter in future blogs but for now that’s me for the day!
One last thought before I finish. I’ve found blogging is a great way to share yourself with the world and provide
advice and help without having your energy sapped so much. That’s one thing I might recommend to other
empaths who have that urge to help but are wary of the face to face energy sap. If you love words and love to
express yourself creatively and have been interested in blogging then this is certainly one way you could do it.
If blogging is something you would be interested in finding out more about and if you would like to know more
about the blogging platform I use (Kalatu) then click here for more info:
http://www.join21daybloggingchallenge.com/?id=8647764
If you would like to find out more about being an empath here is a link to the site that I found most helpful:
http://themindunleashed.org/2013/10/30-traits-of-empath.html
Of course there are many other sites with helpful info relating to empaths, all you need to do is google it :) but
hopefully you’ve found this blog useful in your own journey to understanding yourself and others.
Till next time
Live life with passion, drive, purpose and love!
Justine xo
Share this post and help spread the love!
Thank you for reading my posts! If you would like to connect, reach out to me on Twitter.
If you would like to know how to earn an income blogging like I do, subscribe to this link for more
information.
Join the 21 Day Blogging Challenge
Blog: Are you an empath? Read here about empathic traits and my empath journey!

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Blog: Are you an empath? Read here about empathic traits and my empath journey!

  • 1. blogforbusinessonline.com http://blogforbusinessonline.com/JustinesFreedom/are-you-an-empath-read-here-about-empathic-traits-and-my-empath-journey/ Deanna Troi – Empath in Star Trek Justine Are you an Empath? Read here about empathic traits and my empath journey! Share this post and help spread the love! So, I’m an empath and an emotional healer, but I’ve only come to this realisation in the past 2 years. Before that, I’d never really given any thoughts particularly to empaths and healers. In fact, a year ago if you’d asked me to explain what an empath was without looking it up, the first picture that probably would have come to mind would be Deanna Troi who was a character in Star Trek (yep I’m a trekky nerd lol). The first time someone said that I was a healer, I was a little amused and baffled at the thought of it because to me, when I thought of healers, I would think of Jesus performing miracles 2000 years ago, turning water into wine, feeding thousands with only a few loaves of bread and fish, laying hands on the terminally ill and voila they’re recovered. You get the point, to me I thought of it as some mystical, magical thing that may or may not have happened in the past and as far as in the present? Yeah I was cynical. (Along with being a Trekkie nerd I was also a church nerd ;) I went to church pretty much from birth through till I was 18. I’m 30 now.) So yeah as far as my comprehension of the the terms empath and healer, I had only a naive, surface understanding and certainly had never dreamed of applying those titles to myself. So what DID I know about myself and those around me? I did know that people naturally gravitated to me. People with troubled, cracked, anxious souls gravitated to me. This pull to me became even more obvious to me when I started playing in a virtual world online. I met many people along the way but oh my goodness the amount of troubled souls that would come to me and I’d barely know them and they would start to share their stories with me. I’d naturally want to help make them feel better, I supported them emotionally, encouraged them and tried to build them up. I never thought much about why, it was just who I was..and well who I still am. But geez it zapped my energy. I remember at one point a couple of years ago being so completely overwhelmed, frustrated and at a loss as to what to do, as these energy zappers who I called my friends and whom I cared for dearly, they were awesome people but all they ever seemed to do was come to me filled with negativity, anger, hate, sadness depending on what their life problems were. They would come to me because they knew I would understand, they knew I wouldn’t judge them, they knew that I would comfort them, they knew I would fill them up with positivity and make them feel good. This sounds good in theory but then what would happen was they’d go back to their life with my warm positive energy and feeling uplifted but with no intention of changing anything in their life so the problems in their life never had a
  • 2. Loaves of Bread & Fish Miracle Healing Hands chance of disappearing. So the positivity I gave them would help for awhile but soon enough life would pull them down again and they’d come back to me in need of a positive energy refill. I now call these people ‘energy vampires’. They took but rarely gave back. Don’t get me wrong, they were nice, funny people, they definitely weren’t horrible people and it wasn’t all bad, most of the time it wasn’t intentional and they weren’t even aware they were doing it but ultimately they were just more concerned with their lives, their needs and thinking the world should change for them and not vice versa because the thought of change was too hard and they didn’t know how, so they went seeking happy people to make them feel better temporarily. I myself was going through some major life changes at the time and trying to figure out who I was and my place in the world but sometimes it was all just too much, I felt lost and exhausted and couldn’t figure out why and how to snap myself out of it. I had no energy left, I felt completely sapped, full of everyone’s negativity including my own and it was so hard to build that energy back up because I didn’t have many energising people in my life and I wasn’t taking the time to refill my energy stores, so I was functioning on auto-pilot, just barely. You might be sitting there and going errrrr well why not just stop helping these people? Noone was forcing you to support them and build them up. If you are thinking that, you would be completely right. Except for the small matter that I’ve always had this strong need to help others. I hate seeing people in pain and struggling with life. People might be very good at putting up a brave, confident face to the world, all the while hiding and covering up how they’re really feeling underneath but I almost always see past that, I sense the actual truth, feel it and know it and for some unfathomable reason I have this compelling urge to try and help, it’s hard to say no. I called myself a nurturer aka as a softie. ;) To try and help, was to me as natural as breathing, even if I knew it was going to sap my energy. It was around this time about 2 years ago where I had so many energy vampires in my life and my life was starting to spiral down, that I had a friend point out to me in one of my frustrated (at self) moments that the reason why I always have this inherent need to help others even at the expense of myself, was because I was a healer, an emotional healer and most likely an Empath. As I mentioned earlier, my first response was to be amused and baffled, yet at the same time something in me clicked. You know, those lightbulb moments where you have a mass of thoughts and shifting ideas spiraling around in your mind and suddenly they all settle into place and there’s now one clear picture. Clarity! I of course immediately started researching about empaths and healers and in reading some of the articles on common traits and habits, it was almost like someone had sat down with me personally, heard my life story and taken note of all my personal traits and posted it up on the net under empaths…. ok that might be the slightest exaggeration but the articles were pretty darn close to being identical to me. ;) Empaths won’t necessarily have every single common trait, but can I tell ya, after I read the 30 common traits, which I’ve listed below, I could easily mark off 26 of the 30 traits as being me. Before I get too carried away with my own personal experiences and discoveries about being an empath. Let me show you the list of the 30 most common traits of an empath, I also added in one more of my own. Can you relate to these traits at all? Or do you know of someone like this?
  • 3. Suddenly the light bulb lit up! Light Bulb Moment – I get it!!! The Aha Moment! 1. Knowing: Empaths just know stuff, without being told. It’s a knowing that goes way beyond intuition or gut feelings, even though that is how many would describe the knowing. The more attuned they are the stronger this gift becomes. 2. Can appear moody, shy, aloof, disconnected: Depending on how an Empath is feeling will depend on what face they show to the world. They can be prone to mood swings and if they’ve taken on too much negative will appear quiet and unsociable, even miserable. An Empath detests having to pretend to be happy when they’re sad, this only adds to their load (makes working in the service industry, when it’s service with a smile, very challenging) and can make them feel like scuttling under a stone. 3. Feeling others emotions and taking them on as your own: This is a huge one for Empaths. To some, they will feel emotions off those near by and with others they will feel emotions from those a vast distance away, or both. The more adept Empath will know if someone is having bad thoughts about them, even from a great distance. 4. You know when someone is not being honest: If a friend or a loved one is telling you lies you know it (although many Empaths try not to focus on this because knowing a loved one is lying can be painful). Or if someone is saying one thing but feeling/thinking another, you know. 5. Creative: From singing, dancing, acting, drawing or writing an Empath will have a strong creative streak and a vivid imagination. 6. Constant fatigue: Empaths often get drained of energy, either from energy vampires or just taking on too much from others, which even sleep will not cure. Many get diagnosed with ME. 7. Digestive disorders and lower back problems: The solar plexus chakra is based in the centre of the abdomen and it’s known as the seat of emotions. This is where Empaths feel the incoming emotion of another, which can weaken the area and eventually lead to anything from stomach ulcers to IBS (too many other conditions to list here). Lower back problems can develop from being ungrounded (amongst other things) and one, who has no knowledge of them being an Empath, will almost always be ungrounded. 8. Always looking out for the underdog: Anyone whose suffering, in emotional pain or being bullied draws an Empath’s attention and compassion. 9. Others will want to offload their problems on you, even strangers: An Empath can become a dumping ground for everyone else’s issues and problems, which, if they’re not careful can end up as their own. 10. Drawn to healing, holistic therapies and all things metaphysical: Although many Empaths would love to
  • 4. heal others, they can end up turning away from healing (even though they have a natural ability for it), after they’ve studied and qualified, because they take on too much from the one they are trying to heal. Especially if they are unaware of their empathy. Anything of a supernatural nature is of interest to Empaths and they don’t surprise or get shocked easily. Even at the revelation of what many others would consider unthinkable, for example, Empaths would have known the world was round when others believed it was flat. 11. Addictive personality: Alcohol, drugs, sex, are to name but a few addictions Empaths turn to, to block out the emotions of others. It can be a form of self protection in order to hide from someone or something (external emotions). 12. Need for solitude: An Empath will go stir-crazy if they don’t get quiet time. This is even obvious in empathic children. 13. Gets bored or distracted easily if not stimulated: Work, school and home life has to be kept interesting for an Empath or they switch off from it and end up daydreaming or doodling. 14. Finds it impossible to do things they don’t enjoy: As above. Feels like they are living a lie by doing so. To force an Empath to do something they dislike through guilt or labelling them as idle will only serve in making them unhappy. It’s for this reason many Empaths get labelled as being lazy. 15. Strives for the truth: This becomes more prevalent when an Empath discovers his/her gifts and birthright. Anything untruthful feels plain wrong. 16. Always looking for answers and knowledge: To have unanswered questions can be frustrating for an Empath and they will endeavour to find an explanation. If they have a knowing about something they will look for confirmation. The downside to this is an information overload. 17. Finds routine, rules or control, imprisoning: Anything that takes away their freedom is debilitating to an Empath even poisoning. 18 Loves to daydream: An Empath can stare into space for hours, in a world of their own and blissfully happy. 19. Excellent listener: An Empath won’t talk about themselves much unless it’s to someone they really trust. They love to learn and know about others and genuinely care. 20. Intolerance to narcissism: Although kind and often very tolerant of others, Empaths do not like to be around overly egotistical people, who put themselves first and refuse to consider anyone’s feelings or points of view, other than their own. 21. Will not choose to buy antiques, vintage or second-hand: Anything that’s been pre-owned carries the energy of the previous owner. An Empath will even prefer to have a brand new car or house (if they are in the financial situation to do so) with no residual energy. NOTE TO THIS: I personally LOVE antique, vintage ANYTHING. My dream home and car would be vintage and antique without a doubt. I love thinking of the history contained in the walls of a home, the stories that can be told of it’s past and you do get a sense and energy of whether a place has a good or bad aura. In reading some of the comments in other blogs/forums about this particular trait, this seems to be the same for alot of other empaths too. So I’d amend the above to be, you either really love antique & vintage for the history and past residual energy of it, or you avoid it exactly because of it. 22. Likes adventure, freedom and travel: Empaths are free spirits. 23. Picking up physical symptoms off another: An Empath will almost always develop the ailments off another (colds, eye infections, body aches and pains), especially those who they’re closest to, somewhat like sympathy pains. 24. Watching violence, cruelty or tragedy on the TV is unbearable: The more attuned an Empath becomes the worse it is and may make it so they eventually have to stop watching TV and reading newspapers altogether.
  • 5. 25. Love of nature and animals: Being outdoors in nature is a must for Empaths and pets are an essential part of their life. 26. 29. Being in public places can be overwhelming: Places like shopping malls, supermarkets or stadiums, where there are lots of people around, can fill the Empath with turbulently vexed emotions that are coming from others. 27. Prone to carry weight without necessarily overeating: The excess weight, especially around the belly area, is a form of protection to stop the negative incoming energies having as much impact. 28. Abhors clutter: It makes an Empath feel weighed down and blocks the flow of energy. 29. The ability to feel the days of the week: An Empath will get the ‘Friday Feeling’ if they work Fridays or not. They pick up on how the collective are feeling. The first couple of days of a long, bank holiday weekend (Easter for example) can feel, to them, like the world is smiling, calm and relaxed. Sunday evenings, Mondays and Tuesdays, of a working week, have a very heavy feeling. 30. Sense the energy of food: Many Empaths don’t like to eat meat or poultry because they can feel the vibrations of the animal (especially if the animal suffered), even if they like the taste. (One I’ve added) 31. Avoid Confrontation and Conflict: If I had to add another one to the list it would be that we hate conflict and confrontation and will try to avoid it at all costs. One of the most interesting things to discover about being an empath for me, was that certain traits I’d assumed would be in almost everyone naturally…are not. For example, I’ve always had a pretty good gauge on people’s moods and likely reactions to things. I’ve interacted with some strong personalities as well as difficult, moody and volatile personalities over the years. The trait I added in above was that empaths hate conflict, we avoid it like the plague. This might sound ideal, to be in the role of peacemaker, but at other times it’s got me into trouble when I really should just face up to the situation. Regardless, I’ve always had a knack for sensing the potential for an argument or fight even before it happens, all based off of someone’s mood and energy they’re giving off, and the person they’d be getting into an argument with, would seem to just miss it completely or just wouldn’t care, I would think in my head, like HOW can they not see that if they persist with this….. that THIS, THIS and THAT will happen, it’s plain as day to me. ABORT, ABORT, repeat ABORTTTT!! Sure enough 7 times out of 10 the situation would escalate and play out how i sensed it would. Turns out it’s not natural for everyone to be able to pick up on peoples energy and moods by reading their body language and verbal cues. It can be a learned trait, to learn how to read people by consciously making the effort to be aware of it and look for clues but for empaths, this is automatic. I don’t even need someone to say a word, they can be just sitting in the room and I’ll pick up on their mood fast. Now, speaking with people online you might think it would be harder to pick up their true mood and energy because they’re not right there in front of you but for me personally I can pick up the vibe and mood of someone in the tone of their words. How they structure their sentences, it will change depending on their mood. Granted it can take longer sometimes, it is definitely alot easier to fake your mood online then in person if all that is being exchanged is typed words. I can’t read their facial expressions, and I can’t pick up on certain tone changes in their voice but I still pick up the mood eventually because it’s not all about the visual and aural cues. As I’ve learnt, we pick up on the energy and tap into the emotions within that energy, so it’s almost like reading their mind, but not quite, more the emotions associated with their thoughts. Sitting here trying to describe it, it all sounds slightly absurd yet makes total sense to me, I just do it without thinking… well mostly. I’m amused anytime I’ve mentioned that kinda thing to others they think I’m crazy, way too sensitive and obsess too much on details (which sometimes can be true, especially if people work overtime to try and hide their real feelings from me) but mostly I still pick it up and end up being right! It is pretty automatic also, that we will try and resolve tough, awkward situations quickly and if we’re unable to then we’ll avoid it altogether or runnnnn (another past favourite solution of mine). Overall, being able to read peoples moods and real feelings has been a handy skill to have, but on the downside, it has often made me leery of taking a chance in certain areas of my life, including relationships and you can start
  • 6. to second guess things. This wariness of what could happen has often meant that I have missed potentially awesome opportunities, just so that I don’t get hurt because I can sense the potential downfalls and don’t want to risk the emotional toll. I know I’m not the only empath to build up my walls of defense sky high so people can’t easily get past because if they do and they hurt us, the pain is felt so much stronger and vividly. However, just because we sense possible outcomes, does not always mean this will be the actual outcome and sometimes our emotions can get muddied by past similar situations. The good thing is, not everything is set in concrete, that is the beauty of life, the choice to change and choose your outcome. So despite these strong walls I have put up, I have come to realise that we can’t and shouldn’t always avoid conflict, that facing up to some situations to resolve them, rather then have them build up and explode into something unnecessary, is crucial in how our life will turn out. Whilst other times we know when we really need to avoid and disappear from a situation even at the risk of feeling bereft. Finding that happy medium can be a challenge. I guess it depends on the context. In the past year or two that I’ve been researching about being empathic it has helped me understand so much about myself and why I do, say and react to things a certain way. I’m still learning the best ways to deal with all the emotional energies that get sent my way. Some days I’ll feel completely on top of things and then the next thing I know I’ll feel like I’ve been slammed to the ground with waves of emotion washing over me and making me feel really upset and sad or really angry and frustrated. On upside the high days are out of this world, I’ll feel euphoric, super high, happy and at peace with the world like I can achieve anything I set my mind to. I don’t have any clearcut answers just yet for the best ways to manage being an empath and dealing with some of the energies and emotions that come your way. I’m still learning for myself but I do know that I will share what works for me as I continue along this path of self discovery. From what I’ve read and learnt so far, meditation is important for helping centre your emotions and state of mind and clearing out some of the toxic emotions. Finding people who energise you and don’t deplete you is also important but even then you still have to be mindful. This might only apply to me but I find that the people that energise me, I can’t help but lower my guard down, letting them in and past my defenses. This leaves me open and vulnerable and although the energisers might be good for you overall, it also means that if they hurt you ( I don’t mean physically), then it will hit you a whole lot harder then others because what tends to happen is you completely immerse yourself in the friendship/relationship and become so in tune with them, wrapped up in their warm, positive energy. You might even put them up on a pedastal unintentionally because you know that it’s not often that you find someone who energises you rather then saps your energy but you have to remember that they are still human and they’re definitely not perfect. They have their own challenges in life to deal with, so don’t rely too much on them because then you might end up doing to them what others have done to you. Not sure if I’m making any sense here. One other thing we have to be mindful of is going to the opposite extreme and completely closing ourselves off from others. Sometimes dealing with the emotions and energies of others combined with your own can feel so overwhelming that you just can’t deal with it and so you shut off your emotions completely. I’ve done it myself where I’ve cut ties with alot of friends and family and shut myself away in my own world so I didn’t have to deal with it. Sometimes I’ve thought I could go away to an isolated island for a month with noone around and be completely happy, sometimes I literally crave it. Sounds a bit dramatic I know but I think gosh it would be nice to be somewhere without all these energies and only my own to focus on so that I can get my own thoughts and emotions in order. Yep folks, reading above you can see I’m definitely still getting a handle on it all but I do still feel blessed for having the empathic abilities and I also know that I can do alot of good in the world being an emotional healer. You just have to make sure that you yourself are healed and grounded firmly in your life and world before you can help others ya know? So that’s what I’m doing, I’m learning and working on myself to be the best version of me. Ok I have gone on long enough with this blog. I hope you have gained some helpful insights. You might have had your own aha moment reading this and going yessss I can relate. You might also be going oh good does this mean I’m not going crazy? Haha not yet ;) see it as a blessing and a gift if used correctly. I will definitely be expanding on the matter in future blogs but for now that’s me for the day! One last thought before I finish. I’ve found blogging is a great way to share yourself with the world and provide
  • 7. advice and help without having your energy sapped so much. That’s one thing I might recommend to other empaths who have that urge to help but are wary of the face to face energy sap. If you love words and love to express yourself creatively and have been interested in blogging then this is certainly one way you could do it. If blogging is something you would be interested in finding out more about and if you would like to know more about the blogging platform I use (Kalatu) then click here for more info: http://www.join21daybloggingchallenge.com/?id=8647764 If you would like to find out more about being an empath here is a link to the site that I found most helpful: http://themindunleashed.org/2013/10/30-traits-of-empath.html Of course there are many other sites with helpful info relating to empaths, all you need to do is google it :) but hopefully you’ve found this blog useful in your own journey to understanding yourself and others. Till next time Live life with passion, drive, purpose and love! Justine xo Share this post and help spread the love! Thank you for reading my posts! If you would like to connect, reach out to me on Twitter. If you would like to know how to earn an income blogging like I do, subscribe to this link for more information. Join the 21 Day Blogging Challenge