Attention: This post contains strong irony! Do NOT follow this advice :) If you are a Social Media Marketing Manager or Consultant, this might make you laugh and brighten your day a little, so enjoy our tips on how to fail at Social Media Marketing!

1. jupit er-labs.com http://jupiter-labs.com/36-great-ways-how-to-fail-at-social-media/
Maria Haase
How to Fail at Social Media
<Edit: As some readers might have misunderstood my post, here some
clarif ication: !!!ATTENTION: THIS POST CONTAINS SARCASM AND
IRONY!!!/End Edit>
A: “Hey, with your new company and all, do you do social media? I heard it can
bring you lots of sales and traf f ic to your website!”
B: “Ah, shut up, I tried this stuf f . I set up a Twitter account and a Facebook
page and all and spend all this time on it and it did not get me a single lead!
Social media is a waste of time!”
A lot of people, companies and entrepreneurs share this point of view. If you
want to agree with them, f ollow these great instructions to f inally proof that
Social Media is a waste of time. Here is a list of 36 great ways how to f ail at Social Media:
# 1: Setting up a Facebook page and a Twitter account is all you need to do!
# 2: Have your niece be your social media expert, because she has 300+ f riends on Facebook!
# 3: Update your Twitter account every 2 weeks, you don’t want to be a spammer, right?
# 4: Let’s create a company blog on a WordPress domain!
# 5: Sending every single link to your company website or blog!
# 6: Set your Twitter account to protected!
# 7: Make your Facebook page only visible to your f ans!
# 8: Tweet about your cof f ee! Every single morning! Multiple times, somebody could have missed it!
# 9: Send your Followers a DM with a link to a spam website!
# 10: Not have a single post on Twitter and expect people to f ollow you!
# 11: Write about yourself , all the time, everywhere!
# 12: Never, ever give advice or share a link! Don’t you ever do that, understood!!!
# 13: Use the pushiest sales talk you can think of ! Create new words: Ultraextremeawesomeness!
# 14: TWEET ALL IN CAPITAL LETTERS! EXTRA POINTS!!!
# 15: Have a tirade about your competitors! They suck and it is your duty to warn people about them!
# 16: Even better: Randomly retweet other people’s tweets
and send your f ollowers to your competition!
# 17: End every sentence in your tweet with an exclamation

2. point! Darn I am good at this one!
# 18: No matter what, do not listen to what other people have
to say! Don’t read your DM’s @’s and delete ALL comments
on your blog
# 19: Never use the Search.Twitter to search f or your
company name. Reading this could harm your company’s
reputation.
# 20: Use dif f erent user names, spellings and logos f or every prof ile you create
# 21: Now I am getting mean: Let your accountant write your blog posts
# 22: Spend a f ortune on the blog design, and $ 3.00 per blog post!
# 23: Your number one goal should be: have 200,000 f ollowers on twitter, so always f ollow as many people as
Twitter allows you
# 24: RT your links to your website at least 2 x per hour! People are not on Twitter 24/7! You have to get the
word out!
# 25: Only Facebook and Twitter really count as Social Media
# 26: Close comments on your blog! You are the boss, your customers should listen to you, not the other way
around!
# 27: Oh wow, my lucky number
# 28: Talk bad about customers, with several Million users, how should they ever f ind you?
# 29: Use your keywords, at least twice in every paragraph, so be sure to use your keywords in your
paragraphs at least twice!
# 30: Switch all your marketing budget to social media, because if you don’t f ind 1,000 new customers by next
month, you will be out of business
# 31: Don’t waste your time reading other blog posts, especially those related to your industry! You know it
better anyways
# 32: Content on your blog is not important. Rather spend this time to write comments on any blog you can
f ind, and don’t worry if they aren’t in your niche.
# 33: But don’t waste time writing lengthy comments either: Two words max, but be sure to use your keywords
as your commentator name
# 34: Don’t worry about “target market”! Your product/service is so great, everyone will want it
# 35: If your blog does not get you a lead or a sale in less than 2 weeks -> stop it, it’s not working!
# 36: It is ok to copy your content f rom other websites and you do not have to ref erence them in any way.
Social Media is about sharing right?
I hope you liked this little list of ways how to f ail at Social Media! Do you have more? Please share them and I
promise I will delete them without reading!

3. Images:
Courtesy of JNFerree