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Timeless Principles
               in
         Making Friends
              and
       Influencing People
                         Facilitator: Joyce Li



www.FullnessOfLife.com         Feb 2013          1
Workshop Goals
1.    Practice these timeless principles:
          The 3-C Principle in Handling People
          The L-I-O-N Principle to Make People Like You
          12 Principles in Influencing People and Winning Souls

2.    Celebrate your communication
      strengths and commit to work on at
      least 2 growth areas in building strong
      relationships


www.FullnessOfLife.com                                             Why 

                                                                           2
Why Practice these Principles:




       Help Build Strong
        Relationships
          • Open Doors for Future
              Opportunities
          • Reach Out to Influence Others
          • Help Each Other through
                                            Ice Breaker 
              Networking
www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                                            3
People are Different




     Popular Sanguine      Powerful Choleric
           www.FullnessOfLife.com




     Peaceful Phlegmatic
www.FullnessOfLife.com     Perfect Melancholy
Friends…
  A) Think about your best friend…
     ◦ What do you like about him/her?




  B) Think about the person that you would
    avoid sitting next to during a party…
     ◦ What bothers you about him/her?
www.FullnessOfLife.com                   Outline 
                                                     5
Outline
                                       Part I
                 3-C Principles in Handling People
                                      Part II
         L-I-O-N Principles to Make People Like You
                                      Part III
                12 Principles in Influencing People


Workshop material adapted from “How To Win Friends And Influence People” by Dale Carnegie


  www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                                                                            6
3-C Principles in Handling People
                    What are your 3-Cs?




www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                          7
3-C Principles in Handling
People
 1.   Cultivate a genuine interest in other’s
      well-being
 2.   Credit the other person’s “emotional
      account”
 3.   Create an appetite for more of you




www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                                8
3.1 Cultivate a genuine interest
in other’s well-being
 1.   What is in it for them?
 2.   What are their needs?
 3.   Don’t criticize or condemn




www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                   9
3.2 Credit the other person’s
“Emotional Account”
        Acknowledge and show sincere
         appreciation
        Making deposits into their “emotional
         bank account1” or “love bank2”


 Note 1: Concept from Dr. Stephen Covey’s book – 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
 Note 2: Concept from Dr. Gary Chapman’s book – Five Love Languages




www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                                                                       10
3.3 Create an appetite for more
of you
        Making yourself loveable:
     ◦    Amiable (pleasing, being
          friendly, social, admirable)
     ◦    Being helpful
     ◦    Generate positive energy




www.FullnessOfLife.com                   3 Cs Recap 
                                                        11
3-C Principles in Handling People
 Recap:
 1. Cultivate a genuine interest in other’s
    well-being
 2. Credit the other person’s “emotional
    account”
 3. Create an appetite for more of you




www.FullnessOfLife.com                  Reflection 
                                                       12
Reflection


 Do you have a “favorite” principle, why?




www.FullnessOfLife.com                L-I-O-N Principles to Make People Like You 
                                                                               13
L-I-O-N Principles to
            Make People Like You




www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                    14
L-I-O-N Principles to
           Make People Like You
      Listen Well - Be a good listener




www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                         15
L-I-O-N Principles to
            Make People Like You
                         Importance -
 Make the other person feel important




www.FullnessOfLife.com                  (do it sincerely)
                                                        16
L-I-O-N Principles to
             Make People Like You
Other’s Interest First - Talk about things
  that interest him/her 投其所好




 www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                             17
L-I-O-N Principles to
                   Make People Like You
              Name - Remember his/her name
       Michelle,
   I will surely miss you
     when you go away
      for University!
                                      Rebecca,
                                    I’ll miss you too!




www.FullnessOfLife.com                     L-I-O-N Principles Recap 

                                                                        18
L-I-O-N Principles to
            Make People Like You
Recap
1. Listen Well - Be a good listener
2. Importance - Make the other person
      feel important (do it sincerely)
3.    Other’s Interest First - Talk about things
      that interest him/her 投其所好
4.    Name - Remember his/her name
www.FullnessOfLife.com                     Reflection 
                                                          19
Reflection


 Go to your partner, have a chat -practice
              being “amiable”

                           5 minutes



                            Debrief

www.FullnessOfLife.com          12 Principles in Influencing People and Winning Souls 
                                                                                          20
12 Principles in Influencing
             People
 1.   Avoid arguments
 2.   Show respect for his/her opinions -
      Never say “you’re wrong”
 3.   If you are wrong, admit it
 4.   Be a sincere friend
 5.   Let the other person talk
 6.   Get the other person saying “yes, yes”
      immediately
www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                               21
12 Principles in Influencing
            People
7.   Get cooperation by letting him/her feel
     that the idea is his or hers
 8. See things from his/her point of view
 9. Be sympathetic with his/her ideas and
     desires
 10. Appeal to the nobler motives (higher
     standards, causes, goals or
     aspirations, etc.)
 11. Dramatize your ideas
 12. Throw down a challenge
www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                               22
12 Principles in Influencing
             People
                #1 Avoid arguments




www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                     23
12 Principles in Influencing
             People
    #2 Show respect for his/her opinions -
           Never say “you’re wrong”
                                  You are
                                    dog
                                  wrong!




www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                             24
12 Principles in Influencing
             People

                                   #3 If you are
                                   wrong, admit it


                          I am so sorry to cause
                         such a scene, next time I
                            will avoid rush hour
                                   traffic!



www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                                     25
12 Principles in Influencing
             People
                    #4 Be a sincere friend




www.FullnessOfLife.com
            Mar 4, 2011            MCAC English Adult Fellowship   26
12 Principles in Influencing
             People
             #5 Let the other person talk




www.FullnessOfLife.com
            Mar 4, 2011        MCAC English Adult Fellowship   27
12 Principles in Influencing
             People
      #6 Get the other person saying “yes, yes”
                      immediately




www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                                  28
12 Principles in Influencing
             People
    #7 Get cooperation by letting him/her
         feel that the idea is his or hers




www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                             29
12 Principles in Influencing
             People
  #8 See things from his/her point of view




www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                             30
12 Principles in Influencing
             People
 #9 Be sympathetic with his/her ideas and
                  desires
                              >>>>>>>>>
                              %%%%%%
                               <<<<<<<<




www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                            31
12 Principles in Influencing
             People
 #10 Appeal to the
    nobler motives
    (higher
    standards, cause
    s, goals or
    aspirations, etc.)



www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                  32
12 Principles in Influencing
             People
               #11 Dramatize your ideas




www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                          33
12 Principles in Influencing
             People
            #12 Throw down a challenge




www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                         34
12 Principles in Influencing
       People and Winning Souls
 1.    Avoid arguments
 2.    Show respect for his/her opinions – Avoid “you’re wrong”
 3.    If you are wrong, admit it
 4.    Be a sincere friend
 5.    Let the other person talk
 6.    Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately
 7.    Letting him/her feel that the idea is his or hers
 8.    See things from his/her point of view
 9.    Be sympathetic with his/her ideas and desires
 10.   Appeal to the nobler motives, aspirations, etc.
 11.   Dramatize your ideas
 12.   Throw down a challenge
                                                                  Reflections 
www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                                                            35
Reflection


1.    Are you good at influencing people to
      your way of thinking?

2.    Do any of these principles surprise
      you?


www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                              36
Reflection


3.    Which principle(s) do you master well
      already?




www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                              37
Reflection


4.       Growth Opportunities:
     ◦    Pick 2 principles to work on in the near
          future




www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                                     38
Reflection


      5.    Which principle(s) are best to be
           applied to friendship evangelism?




www.FullnessOfLife.com
                                                39

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Timeless principles in making friends and influencing people

  • 1. Timeless Principles in Making Friends and Influencing People Facilitator: Joyce Li www.FullnessOfLife.com Feb 2013 1
  • 2. Workshop Goals 1. Practice these timeless principles:  The 3-C Principle in Handling People  The L-I-O-N Principle to Make People Like You  12 Principles in Influencing People and Winning Souls 2. Celebrate your communication strengths and commit to work on at least 2 growth areas in building strong relationships www.FullnessOfLife.com Why  2
  • 3. Why Practice these Principles: Help Build Strong Relationships • Open Doors for Future Opportunities • Reach Out to Influence Others • Help Each Other through Ice Breaker  Networking www.FullnessOfLife.com 3
  • 4. People are Different Popular Sanguine Powerful Choleric www.FullnessOfLife.com Peaceful Phlegmatic www.FullnessOfLife.com Perfect Melancholy
  • 5. Friends… A) Think about your best friend… ◦ What do you like about him/her? B) Think about the person that you would avoid sitting next to during a party… ◦ What bothers you about him/her? www.FullnessOfLife.com Outline  5
  • 6. Outline Part I 3-C Principles in Handling People Part II L-I-O-N Principles to Make People Like You Part III 12 Principles in Influencing People Workshop material adapted from “How To Win Friends And Influence People” by Dale Carnegie www.FullnessOfLife.com 6
  • 7. 3-C Principles in Handling People What are your 3-Cs? www.FullnessOfLife.com 7
  • 8. 3-C Principles in Handling People 1. Cultivate a genuine interest in other’s well-being 2. Credit the other person’s “emotional account” 3. Create an appetite for more of you www.FullnessOfLife.com 8
  • 9. 3.1 Cultivate a genuine interest in other’s well-being 1. What is in it for them? 2. What are their needs? 3. Don’t criticize or condemn www.FullnessOfLife.com 9
  • 10. 3.2 Credit the other person’s “Emotional Account”  Acknowledge and show sincere appreciation  Making deposits into their “emotional bank account1” or “love bank2” Note 1: Concept from Dr. Stephen Covey’s book – 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Note 2: Concept from Dr. Gary Chapman’s book – Five Love Languages www.FullnessOfLife.com 10
  • 11. 3.3 Create an appetite for more of you  Making yourself loveable: ◦ Amiable (pleasing, being friendly, social, admirable) ◦ Being helpful ◦ Generate positive energy www.FullnessOfLife.com 3 Cs Recap  11
  • 12. 3-C Principles in Handling People Recap: 1. Cultivate a genuine interest in other’s well-being 2. Credit the other person’s “emotional account” 3. Create an appetite for more of you www.FullnessOfLife.com Reflection  12
  • 13. Reflection Do you have a “favorite” principle, why? www.FullnessOfLife.com L-I-O-N Principles to Make People Like You  13
  • 14. L-I-O-N Principles to Make People Like You www.FullnessOfLife.com 14
  • 15. L-I-O-N Principles to Make People Like You Listen Well - Be a good listener www.FullnessOfLife.com 15
  • 16. L-I-O-N Principles to Make People Like You Importance - Make the other person feel important www.FullnessOfLife.com (do it sincerely) 16
  • 17. L-I-O-N Principles to Make People Like You Other’s Interest First - Talk about things that interest him/her 投其所好 www.FullnessOfLife.com 17
  • 18. L-I-O-N Principles to Make People Like You Name - Remember his/her name Michelle, I will surely miss you when you go away for University! Rebecca, I’ll miss you too! www.FullnessOfLife.com L-I-O-N Principles Recap  18
  • 19. L-I-O-N Principles to Make People Like You Recap 1. Listen Well - Be a good listener 2. Importance - Make the other person feel important (do it sincerely) 3. Other’s Interest First - Talk about things that interest him/her 投其所好 4. Name - Remember his/her name www.FullnessOfLife.com Reflection  19
  • 20. Reflection Go to your partner, have a chat -practice being “amiable” 5 minutes Debrief www.FullnessOfLife.com 12 Principles in Influencing People and Winning Souls  20
  • 21. 12 Principles in Influencing People 1. Avoid arguments 2. Show respect for his/her opinions - Never say “you’re wrong” 3. If you are wrong, admit it 4. Be a sincere friend 5. Let the other person talk 6. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately www.FullnessOfLife.com 21
  • 22. 12 Principles in Influencing People 7. Get cooperation by letting him/her feel that the idea is his or hers 8. See things from his/her point of view 9. Be sympathetic with his/her ideas and desires 10. Appeal to the nobler motives (higher standards, causes, goals or aspirations, etc.) 11. Dramatize your ideas 12. Throw down a challenge www.FullnessOfLife.com 22
  • 23. 12 Principles in Influencing People #1 Avoid arguments www.FullnessOfLife.com 23
  • 24. 12 Principles in Influencing People #2 Show respect for his/her opinions - Never say “you’re wrong” You are dog wrong! www.FullnessOfLife.com 24
  • 25. 12 Principles in Influencing People #3 If you are wrong, admit it I am so sorry to cause such a scene, next time I will avoid rush hour traffic! www.FullnessOfLife.com 25
  • 26. 12 Principles in Influencing People #4 Be a sincere friend www.FullnessOfLife.com Mar 4, 2011 MCAC English Adult Fellowship 26
  • 27. 12 Principles in Influencing People #5 Let the other person talk www.FullnessOfLife.com Mar 4, 2011 MCAC English Adult Fellowship 27
  • 28. 12 Principles in Influencing People #6 Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately www.FullnessOfLife.com 28
  • 29. 12 Principles in Influencing People #7 Get cooperation by letting him/her feel that the idea is his or hers www.FullnessOfLife.com 29
  • 30. 12 Principles in Influencing People #8 See things from his/her point of view www.FullnessOfLife.com 30
  • 31. 12 Principles in Influencing People #9 Be sympathetic with his/her ideas and desires >>>>>>>>> %%%%%% <<<<<<<< www.FullnessOfLife.com 31
  • 32. 12 Principles in Influencing People #10 Appeal to the nobler motives (higher standards, cause s, goals or aspirations, etc.) www.FullnessOfLife.com 32
  • 33. 12 Principles in Influencing People #11 Dramatize your ideas www.FullnessOfLife.com 33
  • 34. 12 Principles in Influencing People #12 Throw down a challenge www.FullnessOfLife.com 34
  • 35. 12 Principles in Influencing People and Winning Souls 1. Avoid arguments 2. Show respect for his/her opinions – Avoid “you’re wrong” 3. If you are wrong, admit it 4. Be a sincere friend 5. Let the other person talk 6. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately 7. Letting him/her feel that the idea is his or hers 8. See things from his/her point of view 9. Be sympathetic with his/her ideas and desires 10. Appeal to the nobler motives, aspirations, etc. 11. Dramatize your ideas 12. Throw down a challenge Reflections  www.FullnessOfLife.com 35
  • 36. Reflection 1. Are you good at influencing people to your way of thinking? 2. Do any of these principles surprise you? www.FullnessOfLife.com 36
  • 37. Reflection 3. Which principle(s) do you master well already? www.FullnessOfLife.com 37
  • 38. Reflection 4. Growth Opportunities: ◦ Pick 2 principles to work on in the near future www.FullnessOfLife.com 38
  • 39. Reflection 5. Which principle(s) are best to be applied to friendship evangelism? www.FullnessOfLife.com 39