This document is a guide about gender, sexuality, and being an ally to LGBTQIA individuals. It defines key terms like gender identity, gender expression, sex, sexual orientation, romantic orientation, and various identities that fall under the transgender and sexuality spectrums. It encourages allies to use correct names and pronouns, avoid assumptions, educate themselves, and take action against phobias by promoting acceptance and fighting hurtful language and judgment.

1. LET’S
TALK
ABOUT
&
SEXUALITY
GENDER
A guide for friends & family of
LGBT *QIA individuals.

2. GENDER
A person’s sex, gender identity
& gender expression may vary. / Sex does not
equal gender.
Gender
Identity
Gender is how
individuals interpret
and view themselves.
A person may identify
with the gender they
Gender were assigned at birth
(cis-gender), or they
Expression may identify differently
(transgender).
Gender expression is
how individuals present
themselves in terms of
society’s ideals Sex
of “masculine” Sex refers to
and “feminine.” the biological
characteristics
An individual may of a person’s body.
present as feminine,
masculine, neutral, The sexes are male,
or a combination. female, and intersex.

3. Gender, gender identity & sex
GENDER exist on a spectrum.
Sex
Male Intersex Female
Gender Expression
Masculine Androgynous/ Feminine
Neutral
Gender Identity
Man Genderqueer/ Woman
Genderfluid/
Neutral-gender
Agender/Genderless

4. There are a variety of trans*
GENDER & gender variant identities.
These are a few common words to know.
Agender
A person does not identify with any gender.
Androgyne
A person with traits ascribed to both males and females.
Bigender
A person identifies as two genders, whether simultaneously or in turn.
Cisgender
A person identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth.
Genderfluid
A person has a shifting or changing gender identity or expression.
Genderqueer
A person has a gender identity or expression that falls outside of the
societal norm for their assigned sex.
Intersex
A person who has sex characteristics that are neither entirely male nor female.
(Note: Intersex is not a gender identity, it is a sex.)
Neutrois
A person is neutral-gender.
Transgender/Trans*
A person has a gender identity that does not match their gender assigned at birth.
Transsexual
A person that has a gender identity that does not match their sex assigned at birth.

5. Be a trans* ally & help fight
GENDER transphobia & cissexism.
1
Use the term cisgender when refering to non-trans* individuals,
rather than transphobic words like “normal,” which imply trans*
individuals are abnormal, weird, ill, or broken.
2 Do not use transphobic slurs, such as “tranny” or “shemale.”
These words are intended to insult and harm trans* individuals.
3
Always use the name any individual gives you.
Do not ask someone what their “real” name is.
(Their desired name is their real name.)
4
Always use the desired pronouns of an individual.
If you are unsure which pronoun to use, politely and privately ask
the individual what their prefered pronouns are.
5 Do not claim someone’s gender identity is false, nonexistent,
immoral, or a result of an illness or trauma.
6 Do not ask questions regarding someone’s anatomy, or question
if they have transitioned or will be transitioning in the future.
7
Do not ask to see photographs of a person before they transitioned.
Likewise, do not ask invasive, personal questions of a person regarding
their life before they transitioned.
8 Never out a trans* individual to others.
Likewise, do not ask others if “so-and-so is transgender.”
9 Do not assume an individual’s sexual orientation due to their
trans* identity.

6. Sexuality is an aspect of an individual’s
SEXUALITY identity composed of sex, gender,
romantic & sexual attractions, and sexual practice.
Gender
Identity
Gender is how
individuals interpret
and view themselves.
Romantic
Attraction
Romantic attraction
refers to which gender or
genders individuals are
romantically interested in.
Sexual
Sexual Attraction
Practice Sexual attraction refers to
which gender or genders
Sexual praactice refers individuals are sexually
to the the ways in which interested in.
individuals sexually
expresses themselves.
Sex
This can include fetishes, Sex refers to the biological
number of partners, characteristics of a
frequency of sex, etc.. person’s body.

7. SEXUALITY
There are romantic
& sexual orientations / Sexuality is fluid
& exists on a spectrum.
For those who have romantic
attractions that differ from their
sexual attractions (such as
Orientation
asexuals who are romantically
attracted to others), the use of Romantic Sexual
a romantic orientation helps to Orientation Orientation
specify their sexuality. For such
individuals, their orientation is
composed of a romantic orientation
and a sexual orientation.
Sexual Attraction/Orientation
Straight Bisexual/ Gay
Pansexual
Asexual
Romantic Attraction/Orientation
Heteroromantic Biromantic/ Homoromantic
Panromantic
Aromantic

8. There are a variety of
SEXUALITY sexual orientations and identities.
These are 9 common orientations to know.
Asexual
A person does not experience sexual attraction to any gender or sex.
Bisexual
A person experiences sexual attraction to two or more genders or sexes.
Demisexual
A person can only experiences sexual attraction after an emotional bond is formed.
Gray-Asexual
A person rarely experiences sexual attraction to any gender or sex.
Heterosexual/Straight
A person is sexually attracted to the opposite gender or sex.
Homosexual/Gay/Lebsian
A person is sexually attracted to the same gender or sex.
Pansexual
A person is sexually attracted to individuals regardless of gender or sex.
Polysexual
A person is sexually attracted to multiple genders or sexes.
Queer
A person identifies as “non-heteronormative.”

9. Be an ally and help fight
SEXUALITY homophobia, biphobia & heterosexism.
1 Do not assume a person’s orientation based on sex, gender,
gender expression, race, or personality.
2 Do not use homophobic language or jokes, and challenge those who do.
Phrases like “that’s so gay” and “no homo” are hurtful.
3 Do not say a person cannnot be bisexual because they are currently
dating or have previously dated a specific gender.
4 Allow others to define their sexuality, and be open and accepting rather
than judgmental and accusatory.
5 Do not claim someone’s sexual orientation is false, nonexistent,
immoral, or a result of an illness or trauma.
6 Be willing to listen with an open-mind when your friend or family
member needs support.
7
Understand that people can change, and that sexuality is fluid.
Do not say someone cannot be gay/bisexual/queer/asexual/etc. due to
their past identities and relationships.
8 Never out someone.
Give the individual the right and respect to decide when to come out.
9 Educate yourself on LGBT*QIA topics, history, and culture.
Do not rely on others for information.
10 Do not say or imply someone’s gay/bisexual/queer/asexual/etc.
relationship is lesser than a straight relationship.
Basically: Take action when required, listen when needed, refrain from
judgment, be open to all relationships, accept when you are hurtful or
wrong, and believe that all individuals are deserving of respect and love.