Session 10 of SMEFC

1. Session 10

2. Phasing out the incentive chart Reduce number of items on chart Tell kids we’ve seen major improvement Continue to PRAISE

3. Responsibility=PrivilegesFreedom=Responsibility The incentive chart teaches children 4-14 that responsibility=privileges The incentive chart teaches older children 15+ that freedom=responsibility

4. Family Contracts If you, yourself do not agree to the contract do no enter into it! Say YES if you CAN say NO if you MUST! Contracts enhance cooperation and strengthens the relationship

5. Process Parent and Child agree to 2 items Schedule renegotiation date one week from implementation date Renegotiating may be needed in order to demonstrate respectful behavior If initial contract is unsuccessful then a contingency contract may be needed

6. Managing Conflict What creates conflict between adults? Between children? Between children and adults?

7. Personal Right Conflict is caused when one person feels that their “personal rights” have been violated What do you believe are your personal Rights?

8. Differences Aggressive Behavior Assertive Behavior Passive Behavior

9. T.R.I.P. Goals Wilmot and Hocker (2007) describe conflict as "an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals" (p. 9). When working to resolve conflict, it is important to remember the TRIP goals of the parties in conflict: Topic or Content Goals - "What do we want?"Conflict about a topic or content falls into one of two categories: 1) people want different things, or 2) people want the same thing. Topic or content goals are a starting point to understand the other party involved in the conflict. Relational Goals - "Who are we to each other?"Relational goals are central to conflict resolution and deal with perceptions of how one party should be treated and will treat the other party. Sharing those expectations can help parties in conflict to work out their differences by clarifying expectations and perceptions of the relationship. Identity or Face-Saving Goals - "Who am I in this interaction?"Identity or Face-Saving goals will become more important as conflict becomes more intense. These goals involve identity protection and presentation of a particular self-image. If a party's identity is questioned or attacked, it will likely lead to defensiveness. Process Goals - "What communication process will be used?"Process goals determine how a conflict will be resolved. Different communication processes may be better in different situations. Conflict parties should consider the best method for resolving the particular conflict. Reference:Wilmot, W. W., & Hocker, J. L. (2007). Interpersonal Conflict. Boston: McGraw-Hill.

10. Guest Speaker Next Week!