The document discusses the essential elements and challenges of loving relationships. It describes five "presents" or essential aspects of love: forgiveness, insight, affirmation, understanding, and wholeness. It also outlines five potential "problems" that can challenge love: prejudice, confusing infatuation for intimacy, lack of commitment, selfishness, and possessiveness. Additionally, it discusses research finding that women in love show faster reaction times when primed with their partner's name compared to a friend's name, demonstrating the power of love on the human brain.

1. Logan Rants

2. Presents of Love
• Purgation
• Perception
• Praise
• Patience
• Perfection
Mickel, Elijah, and Cecilia Hall. "Choosing To Love: The Essentials Of Loving (Presents And Problems)." International
Journal Of Reality Therapy 27.2 (2008): 30-34. Academic Search Complete. Web. 13 Aug. 2012.

3. Purgation
• The present of forgiveness
• Forgiveness purifies factors related to negative
relationship building
• Forgiveness should not be confused with
forgetfulness. Forgiving gives a person a fresh
start in the relationship.
Mickel, Elijah, and Cecilia Hall. "Choosing To Love: The Essentials Of Loving (Presents And
Problems)." International Journal Of Reality Therapy 27.2 (2008): 30-34. Academic Search Complete. Web. 13
Aug. 2012.

4. Perception
• Is the present of insight
• Being able to sense at an intuitive level
• Being able to tell what is going on that is not
present and act as it were physically present
• Loving insight enables the ability to understand
the strengths of the significant other.
Mickel, Elijah, and Cecilia Hall. "Choosing To Love: The Essentials Of Loving (Presents And Problems)." International
Journal Of Reality Therapy 27.2 (2008): 30-34. Academic Search Complete. Web. 13 Aug. 2012.

5. Praise
• Present of affirmation
• See worth in one’s self and one’s partner
• The ability to appreciate the significant others’
gifts and abilities
• Constant warranted praise reaffirms the choice to
be significant to one another.
Mickel, Elijah, and Cecilia Hall. "Choosing To Love: The Essentials Of Loving (Presents And Problems)." International
Journal Of Reality Therapy 27.2 (2008): 30-34. Academic Search Complete. Web. 13 Aug. 2012.

6. Patience
• Present of understanding
• The process of filtering information and
reframing it into a clear picture.
• Presence of patients allows one to manipulate
time
• Patient love understands that perfect love takes
time
Mickel, Elijah, and Cecilia Hall. "Choosing To Love: The Essentials Of Loving (Presents And Problems)." International
Journal Of Reality Therapy 27.2 (2008): 30-34. Academic Search Complete. Web. 13 Aug. 2012.

7. Perfection
• Present of wholeness
• Visibly manifested in the successful loving
relationship
• Refusal to accept failure, perfect love is quality
love.
• Perfection is more than mental and physical but
loving as a spiritual acting.
Mickel, Elijah, and Cecilia Hall. "Choosing To Love: The Essentials Of Loving (Presents And Problems)." International
Journal Of Reality Therapy 27.2 (2008): 30-34. Academic Search Complete. Web. 13 Aug. 2012.

8. Problems of Love
• Prejudice
• Pseudo
• Permissive
• Pride
• Possessive
Mickel, Elijah, and Cecilia Hall. "Choosing To Love: The Essentials Of Loving (Presents And
Problems)." International Journal Of Reality Therapy 27.2 (2008): 30-34. Academic Search Complete.
Web. 13 Aug. 2012.

9. Prejudice
• Consists of making judgments
• Based on incomplete information
• Jumping to conclusions about components in
the relationship
• Manifest in a lack of discernment
Mickel, Elijah, and Cecilia Hall. "Choosing To Love: The Essentials Of Loving (Presents And
Problems)." International Journal Of Reality Therapy 27.2 (2008): 30-34. Academic Search Complete.
Web. 13 Aug. 2012.

10. Pseudo Loving
• Mistaking liking for loving
• Confusing infatuation for intimacy
• Misunderstanding lust for love
• “I love you as long as you make me feel good.
When you make me unhappy I question my love
for you.”
Mickel, Elijah, and Cecilia Hall. "Choosing To Love: The Essentials Of Loving (Presents And
Problems)." International Journal Of Reality Therapy 27.2 (2008): 30-34. Academic Search Complete. Web. 13
Aug. 2012.

11. Permissive Loving
• Loving without structure
• Boundaries are pour and relationship has few
rules
• Commitment in always questioned
• “Do you really love me?”
• Based on fear of loss
Mickel, Elijah, and Cecilia Hall. "Choosing To Love: The Essentials Of Loving (Presents And
Problems)." International Journal Of Reality Therapy 27.2 (2008): 30-34. Academic Search Complete. Web. 13
Aug. 2012.

12. Prideful Loving
• Selfish acts are “I” focused
• Negative past experiences take precedence
• Past experiences influence your behaviors
• Belief that “your nothing without me”
• Exemplified as a trophy possession
Mickel, Elijah, and Cecilia Hall. "Choosing To Love: The Essentials Of Loving (Presents And
Problems)." International Journal Of Reality Therapy 27.2 (2008): 30-34. Academic Search Complete.
Web. 13 Aug. 2012.

13. Possessive Loving
• Ownership of another
• Placing one’s wants before others
• “I can only love you after I love me”
• Manifested and acted out in jealousy
• Communication that this person belongs to
me
Mickel, Elijah, and Cecilia Hall. "Choosing To Love: The Essentials Of Loving (Presents And
Problems)." International Journal Of Reality Therapy 27.2 (2008): 30-34. Academic Search Complete. Web. 13
Aug. 2012.

14. Love in the Brain
• Women in love are faster in detecting target
stimuli when primed by a beloved’s name, as
compared to a friend’s name
• Love is not just a static state, it is a dynamic state
sustained by great energy
• Women who are passionately in love are faster
detecting the target stimuli because of the
mental association their brain has created
Bianchi-Demicheli, Francesco, Scott T. Grafton, and Stephanie Ortigue. "The Power Of Love On The Human
Brain." Social Neuroscience 1.2 (2006): 90-103. Academic Search Complete. Web. 11 Aug. 2012.

15. Video

16. Bibliography
• Mickel, Elijah, and Cecilia Hall. "Choosing To Love: The Essentials Of Loving
(Presents And Problems)." International Journal Of Reality Therapy 27.2 (2008): 30-
34. Academic Search Complete. Web. 13 Aug. 2012. This article was about the
presents, and problems of love. It described how love works and doesn’t work
• Bianchi-Demicheli, Francesco, Scott T. Grafton, and Stephanie Ortigue. "The Power
Of Love On The Human Brain." Social Neuroscience 1.2 (2006): 90-103. Academic
Search Complete. Web. 11 Aug. 2012. This article was about experiments scientist
did on women's brains in love. It described what woud happen when a women
was in or out of love in her brain.
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNl7ktZtSSc