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How to respond to lunch and drink invitations from
       American coworkers, in a culturally appropriate way.


©2010-2012 Jennifer Kumar   authenticjourneys@gmail.com   www.authenticjourneys.info
Have you ever been invited out for lunch or dinner or drinks with your
    colleagues and wondered if you should pay your own way of if you should
    let your colleague pay your way?

    Well, I have some thoughts on that I’d like to share.
    Photo credit: Chesi - Fotos CC @flickr




©2010-2012 Jennifer Kumar                    authenticjourneys@gmail.com   www.authenticjourneys.info
If your colleague is asking you out
                                                                       for lunch, drinks or dinner, this
                                                                       should be during your working
                                                                       hours or directly after your
                                                                       working hours. It’s considered a
                                                                       friendly outing, and you will pay
                                                                       your own way under 99% of the
                                                                       circumstances. You will pay for
                                                                       your own bill and you If your
                                                                       colleague is asking you out for
                                                                       lunch, drinks or dinner, this should
                                                                       be during your working hours or
                                                                       directly after your working hours.
                                                                       It’s considered a friendly outing,
                                                                       and you will pay your own way
                                                                       under 99% of the circumstances.
                 Photo credit: LevelTen_Colin @flickr ,
                                                                       You will pay for your own bill and
                                                                       you will pay for your own tips.




©2010-2012 Jennifer Kumar                           authenticjourneys@gmail.com      www.authenticjourneys.info
The only time your colleague may pay the tab or bill for you is if it’s a
    special occasion.

    -For instance, if it’s your birthday.
    -Maybe you got a promotion.
    -Maybe a new baby’s been born
    in your family.
    -Or, maybe some other kind of
    special occasion has happened
    for you.
                                               photo credit: seeks2dream @flickr




    Your colleague could offer to buy you lunch or drinks. So, what would you
    do in that circumstance?

©2010-2012 Jennifer Kumar         authenticjourneys@gmail.com                      www.authenticjourneys.info
Well, this is what I usually have done.

    If it was my birthday, my colleague would say,
    “Hey Jennifer, ya wanna go out for a birthday
    lunch, I’ll treat you?”

    I’ll say, “I’ll go out for lunch with you, but that’s
    ok, I can pay for myself.”

    And, then, my colleague would say, “No, Jennifer,
    come on, it’s your birthday, ya know, let me just give
    ya a small treat. It’s not a big deal.”

    And, I’ll say, “Well, I still would like to pay for myself,
    but I’m happy to go out to lunch with you, anyway
    and spend time with you.”                                     photo credit: meddygarnet @flickr


    And, then my colleague would say, “No, come on, Jennifer, let me pay for you, I insist.”

    And, then after that, I would let them pay.

    You don’t want to keep the “bargaining” going on back and forth, but if your colleague is gonna offer to pay,
    they would ask you in that first sentence itself when they invite you to lunch. That’s usually what’s happened
    with me.


©2010-2012 Jennifer Kumar                       authenticjourneys@gmail.com                           www.authenticjourneys.info
The only other circumstance where colleagues or office
                                         will pay for your outing, your lunch, if it’s a ‘team building
                                         effort’ or it’s something your office is sponsoring. Your
                                         office is sponsoring some kind of retreat, or lunch, or
                                         outing of some kind, then the office will pay the bill.


   Photo credit: Krishna Kumar @flickr




   You might need to ask if your boss hasn’t told you what kind of
   things are accepted to be paid for on that tab.
   My understanding is 99% of things are paid for. Alcoholic
   beverages will not be paid for by most companies’ tabs. That
   depends on the company you work for. If you don’t drink alcohol,
   then you don’t need to worry about that.
   These are just some of my thoughts about going out to work with
   your colleagues and who should pay.
                                                                                        Photo credit: Evil Erin @flickr


©2010-2012 Jennifer Kumar                       authenticjourneys@gmail.com        www.authenticjourneys.info
Eager to hear your thoughts, experiences and questions -
                             authenticjourneys@gmail.com .

                             For those working with Americans, living in the US or abroad,
                             corporate communication coaching is available in person in
                             Kochi, India or worldwide via the Internet or phone.




©2010-2012 Jennifer Kumar   authenticjourneys@gmail.com          www.authenticjourneys.info

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Cultural Tip: Going Out To Lunch with American Coworkers

  • 1. How to respond to lunch and drink invitations from American coworkers, in a culturally appropriate way. ©2010-2012 Jennifer Kumar authenticjourneys@gmail.com www.authenticjourneys.info
  • 2. Have you ever been invited out for lunch or dinner or drinks with your colleagues and wondered if you should pay your own way of if you should let your colleague pay your way? Well, I have some thoughts on that I’d like to share. Photo credit: Chesi - Fotos CC @flickr ©2010-2012 Jennifer Kumar authenticjourneys@gmail.com www.authenticjourneys.info
  • 3. If your colleague is asking you out for lunch, drinks or dinner, this should be during your working hours or directly after your working hours. It’s considered a friendly outing, and you will pay your own way under 99% of the circumstances. You will pay for your own bill and you If your colleague is asking you out for lunch, drinks or dinner, this should be during your working hours or directly after your working hours. It’s considered a friendly outing, and you will pay your own way under 99% of the circumstances. Photo credit: LevelTen_Colin @flickr , You will pay for your own bill and you will pay for your own tips. ©2010-2012 Jennifer Kumar authenticjourneys@gmail.com www.authenticjourneys.info
  • 4. The only time your colleague may pay the tab or bill for you is if it’s a special occasion. -For instance, if it’s your birthday. -Maybe you got a promotion. -Maybe a new baby’s been born in your family. -Or, maybe some other kind of special occasion has happened for you. photo credit: seeks2dream @flickr Your colleague could offer to buy you lunch or drinks. So, what would you do in that circumstance? ©2010-2012 Jennifer Kumar authenticjourneys@gmail.com www.authenticjourneys.info
  • 5. Well, this is what I usually have done. If it was my birthday, my colleague would say, “Hey Jennifer, ya wanna go out for a birthday lunch, I’ll treat you?” I’ll say, “I’ll go out for lunch with you, but that’s ok, I can pay for myself.” And, then, my colleague would say, “No, Jennifer, come on, it’s your birthday, ya know, let me just give ya a small treat. It’s not a big deal.” And, I’ll say, “Well, I still would like to pay for myself, but I’m happy to go out to lunch with you, anyway and spend time with you.” photo credit: meddygarnet @flickr And, then my colleague would say, “No, come on, Jennifer, let me pay for you, I insist.” And, then after that, I would let them pay. You don’t want to keep the “bargaining” going on back and forth, but if your colleague is gonna offer to pay, they would ask you in that first sentence itself when they invite you to lunch. That’s usually what’s happened with me. ©2010-2012 Jennifer Kumar authenticjourneys@gmail.com www.authenticjourneys.info
  • 6. The only other circumstance where colleagues or office will pay for your outing, your lunch, if it’s a ‘team building effort’ or it’s something your office is sponsoring. Your office is sponsoring some kind of retreat, or lunch, or outing of some kind, then the office will pay the bill. Photo credit: Krishna Kumar @flickr You might need to ask if your boss hasn’t told you what kind of things are accepted to be paid for on that tab. My understanding is 99% of things are paid for. Alcoholic beverages will not be paid for by most companies’ tabs. That depends on the company you work for. If you don’t drink alcohol, then you don’t need to worry about that. These are just some of my thoughts about going out to work with your colleagues and who should pay. Photo credit: Evil Erin @flickr ©2010-2012 Jennifer Kumar authenticjourneys@gmail.com www.authenticjourneys.info
  • 7. Eager to hear your thoughts, experiences and questions - authenticjourneys@gmail.com . For those working with Americans, living in the US or abroad, corporate communication coaching is available in person in Kochi, India or worldwide via the Internet or phone. ©2010-2012 Jennifer Kumar authenticjourneys@gmail.com www.authenticjourneys.info