Do you often have a feeling that the world is against you and that luck and success are always passing you by? Are you suspicious people that surround you have negative intentions towards you? Do you constantly find yourself being defensive in conversations with others trying to protect your viewpoint? If above sounds like your story you might be a victim of victim mentality addiction.

1. Are you a victim of victim mentality addiction?
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Do you often have a feeling that the world is against you and
that luck and success are always passing you by? Are you
suspicious people that surround you have negative
intentions towards you? Do you constantly find yourself
being defensive in conversations with others trying to
protect your viewpoint?
If above sounds like your story you might be a victim of
victim mentality addiction.
Although victim mentality addiction does not have immediate
visible effects on your body and mind (like drugs or alcohol),
it poisons your daily life, your relationships, ruins your ambitious projects, and prevents you from feeling good.
The worst part, like with any other addiction, is a) you might not even realize you suffer from it and b) you always
want a bit more of it.
Lets understand the nature of victimization addiction.
Like any other addiction desire to be a victim is detrimental to human emotional and physical health. The desire
of sympathy is crucial for victims; they love the ‘’feeling of being pitied’’ and constantly seek out this kind of
attention from others. They are afraid to lose it and on subconscious level apply the logic of ‘’I can’t be happy
and successful, because in this case others will stop expressing empathy towards me’’. People with victim
mentality might have great ideas and ambitious goals, but only ‘’on paper’’. In reality they will seek for the
circumstances not allowing them to achieve the goals and will prove once again ‘’no matter what I do the luck is
passing me by’’. And voila, they deserve pity again!
People can live with victim mentality for years or even decades not even suspecting that the root of their life
disasters lies not outside, but inside, in their addiction to be a victim.
How someone can recognise he or she is a victim of victim mentality addiction?
Victim mentality is an acquired (learned) personality trait in which a
person tends to regard him or herself as a victim of the negative
actions of others, and to behave like it were the case—even in the
absence of clear evidence. (Wikipedia).
Normally a person does not choose to be a victim. Who consciously
would like to experience misfortune or loss all the time? Victim
mentality ‘’resides’’ at the subconscious level; that is why it’s so
difficult to recognize it.
What are the signs you might be suffering from victim mentality:
1. Blaming others for everything that is happening to you. Even if someone only gives you an advice, but the
decision is coming from you; you might blame him or her for the consequences of your own decision.
2. You do not want to take responsibility over your life circumstances. You continue suffering from them, but
still do nothing to change and improve them.
3. You have paranoia that people around you have negative, hostile intentions towards you.
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2. 4. You think luck and success are passing you by all the time; others can get what they desire, but not you
no matter what you do.
5. You love complaining and telling sad stories (exaggerating implications) about yourself to deserve ‘’being
pitied’’ and attract attention.
6. You feel tired all the time and often feel sick or have injuries. You often find yourself complaining about
your health problems.
7. You often find yourself being defensive or even aggressive in the conversation with others. You think
people do not understand your viewpoint, even ridicule it.
8. You find yourself rejecting suggestions or constructive criticism from others before considering it can be
for your own benefit.
If you recognize some of these signs in your own behavior there is a chance you are suffering from the victim
mentality addiction.
How victim mentality addiction starts? What is the origin?
Victim mentality is most likely internalized in the childhood, in families where parents believe their kid has to
deserve love through behaving properly; so called conditional love. The notion of ‘’the proper behavior’’ is often
so complicated that a child is never able to understand what is required from him to deserve his parent’s love.
With the early age the child starts feeling ‘’as he is’’ he can’t gain love. He does not understand what exactly he
needs to do to deserve the love of his mum and dad, and starts feeling useless.
At this stage victim mentality incorporates in a child’s mind. The victim ‘’dragon’’ is telling the kid: ‘’It’s not fair.
Although you are doing all possible, you fail to attract your parent’s love. But you can make them to pay for your
suffering, make them to feel guilty for the pain you are experiencing now.’’
This way of thinking will give a birth in the child’s mind to the desire and the ‘’right’’ of blaming others, of giving up
his personal responsibility over his life conditions and the ‘’right’’ to receive attention and sympathy from others
for his suffering.
It’s a deadlock way of thinking of course and will never allow you to feel good, because feeling good will mean
you are not a victim anymore. You need to suffer…
Why it’s so difficult to get rid of the addictions, which make us suffer?
Neuroscience, a scientific study of the nervous system, explains the nature of any type of addiction, including
victimization.
You might not even suspect what is happening at your cells level.
Our brain is made of tiny nerve cells called neurons. The neurons are connected to other neurons to create a
neuron net. The place where neurons are connected is where a thought or a memory is located. The brain
collects thoughts based on associative memory. For example, we create a concept of love from our previous
experiences; for one it can be a pleasant feeling, but for another a painful one. The nerve cells that fire together,
wire together. If we practice something over and over again those nerve cells are entering in long-term
relationship. If you get reasons for victimization on daily basis you are reintegrating the neuron net on daily basis
to create a victim identity.
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3. There is a part of the brain called hypothalamus; which assembles
certain chemicals that match certain emotions we experience. There are
chemicals for anger, for fear, for victimization. The moment we
experience any type of emotional state, in our example being a victim,
hypothalamus will assemble chemicals for victimization and release
them to a blood stream. Each cell in our body possesses receptors,
which will allow those chemicals to easily penetrate in the cells and
impact them.
Addiction is something you can’t stop. If you have an addiction to victimization your brain cells (impacted by
chemicals of victimization) will seek to put you in situations to experience over and over again the feeling of being
a victim. You will always want to suffer a bit more from victimization. It sounds crazy, isn’t it?
How to get rid ofvictim mentality addiction?
As you know it takes lots of efforts and persistence to break the habits and stop being addicted to anything, but
as soon as you recognize you have an addiction you are halfway through the ‘’recovery path’’.
So if you notice yourself constantly searching for the sympathy or if you often have a desire to blame others for
the bad things happening to you (or any of the other victim mentality signs mentioned above) then the first thing
you need to do is to stop auto-responding to those emotions, but to observe in order to break the neuron pattern
and re-program your brain.
Below are some strategies that should help you to conquer victimization dragon.
1. Accept that you are manipulating people through blaming them for the misfortunes happening to you. Take
full responsibility for your own actions and decisions.
It’s not fair to punish others for the consequences of your own decisions and actions. Yes, it will not be easy to
recognize the victim’s strategy you have chosen because you will need to accept lack of desire and courage to
improve your own life circumstances. But taking full responsibility is the only way to win.
2. Learn how to say ‘’No’’.
Defensive, or even aggressive behavior towards others is coming from your insecurity and fear to make your
own decisions.
To break it you will need to learn how to say ‘’no’’ to what you do not want to do without contemplating for too
long. Make it clear for yourself what exactly you want and do not want.
3. Stop trying to ‘’buy’’ the love and attention of others by behaving properly.
Promise yourself that you will never again search to deserve love of others by trying to ‘’behave properly’’ and
‘’being a good person’’. Be honest with others; tell what you really think and behave as you really are. Be
yourself.
4. Reject the necessity and pleasure of receiving sympathy.
This is probably the most crucial step in the battle with victim addiction. As a victim you consider sympathy
towards yourself as a substitute for love. But it is not. Sympathy is only an expression of pity towards ‘’an
unfortunate you’’.
5. Allow yourself to have fun and allow others to admire smile on your face.
Maybe in the childhood you got used to complaining and rejecting having fun in order to deserve love. Those
times are far away! Now you are living in completely different conditions. Nothing prevents you from
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4. experiencing pleasant moments and having fun time to time.
Yes, it requires hard work to refuse being a victim of victim mentality addiction. But it’s enough of suffering!
You deserve to live happy and abundant life realizing all your great ideas and ambitious plans, to be a winner not
a victim!
To your success!
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