Alan R Davey 10 minute tune up workshop Gift 3 of 10 from Aims Training & Development Ltd www.aimstraining.com. To celebrate Aims 10th anniversarry and share knowledge with the wider community in order to help the propagation of Performance Generated Health, Wealth & Happiness. This is one of a series of 10 minute tune up workshops being distributed for free to help enhance Business Skills and Personal Development. Visit the Aims website www.aimstraining.com and sign up for the free Aims Business Club newsletter to receive advance information about further free workshops
Alan r davey aims management training gift 3 of 10
1. 2011
th
Aims 10 Anniversary
Gift Three
Ten Minute Tune Up
Communicate Clearly
& with Influence
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Communicating Clearly & with Influence Tune Up 2011
Something ‘Old ‘– Something New
This is our personal gift to you – something intended to help you add value
both to your own life and to the Organisation for which you work.
We offer it to say a personal ‘Thank You’ for the support you have given us
and the interest you have shown in Aims Training & Development’s
services.
This is the third of a collection of 10 gifts we will give throughout 2011/2
to mark both our 10 t h year in business.(something ‘old’) and the
introduction of a New Concept in Personal Development and Management &
Leadership Training planned for later this year (something new) .
We will be very happy to extend these Gifts to any of your Colleagues or
anyone you know if you feel they will be useful to them . We only ask that
they help uscomply with the anti -spam requirements by visiting our website
www.aimstraining.com and joining the free Aims Business Club by
completing and submitting the form on our Home Page.
Finally, I would like to thank you once again for your time, support and
interest, and as always, make it a Great Day!
Alan Davey
PS
I thought you might like to know what other subjects the gifts will cover
1. Time Management
2. Goal Setting
3. Communicating clearly & with Influence(attached)
4. Enhancing Personal Assertiveness
5. Overcoming the Worry Habit
6. Managing Stress
7. Self Motivation
8. Building Great Relationships
9. Problem Solving
10. Adding Value to every Action
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Aims Ten Minute Communication Tune Up
Why ten minutes?
1. Because ten minutes is long enough to review/improve communication skills
2. Because it can be done whilst taking a typical length tea/coffee break
What is Communication?
Communication is what we do to transfer information between two or more people, and
we do it to;
Inform other people of our needs
Inform other people of our thoughts
Ensure other people correctly understand what we communicated
Understand correctly the responses we receive from other people
Understand correctly the initial communications from other people
What benefits does more Effective Communication deliver?
Our ability to succeed at anything we try to do in any aspect of their life (from buying the
correct newspaper to applying for a job, arranging a holiday, Managing people, etc.)
relies upon their ability to communicate effectively and with precision.
Our ability to be successful relates directly to our ability to communicate what we can
offer other people.
Suggested Ten Minute Tune Up Process
Read the text from start to finish without pausing or considering any element – but mark
what seems particularly relevant or interesting to you so you can return to this when you
have more time to reread it and decide how you will use the insight or information.
The fastest way to absorb information is to see the context first and concentrate on
detail later.
Why is it important that we each Communicate clearly and with Influence?
Because what and how we communicate influences our present and future situation,
personally, professionally and socially.
Our knowledge, skills and insights have no tangible value until they communicated to
other people and our ability to do this effectively delivers two outcomes that are
important to each of us.
First, we are assessed and we value ourselves according to the contributions we make
to whatever communities (family, team, department, Organisation, social group) we
belong; and we cannot contribute without communicating with other Members of that
Community.
Second, we are rewarded (respect, recognition, salary, promotion, etc) according to the
value of the contribution we make.
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Background
Clear communication is our best tool - and developing clear two way communication is
often our biggest challenge.
We have the advantage of being able to communicate either Directly or Indirectly.
1. We communicate Directly when talking face to face, by telephone or video
link.
2. We communicate Indirectly in writing (by using diagrams or pictures which
can be created in physical or digital form) or by using various voice
recording media which may also make a corresponding visual record.
Direct Communication
Is relatively simple to do
Enables a complex dialogue to be undertaken so any necessary clarification
can be provided instantly
Is particularly useful when urgent responses are required
Conveys the ‘Human Touch’ which may be beneficial or possibly essential
in some circumstances.
Indirect Communication is useful because it can be
Prepared in advance
Prepared in modules that are put together to form a complete
communication
Distributed to a number of people simultaneously or sequentially
Received at a time that is convenient to the receiver
Reviewed at will by the receiver
Retransmitted to additional parties if required
Used to form a permanent record
Combined fully or in part into another relevant communication
All communication has 3 elements
All communication, Direct and Indirect, has three elements although Indirect
Communication may cause the second and third elements to be deferred;
1. Transmitting – conveying information and ideas to other people
2. Receiving – receiving information and ideas from other people
3. Questioning – requesting new information or validating or expanding
understanding of the information and ideas that have been transferred
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1. Direct Communication -Transmitting
Everything we do is governed or influenced by information being transferred in a
manner that makes sense to all the individuals involved in the communication. The
value of any communication depends upon the effect is has, and this can be measured
by the appropriateness of the response it generates.
However, we communicate so many times every day that it becomes commonplace to
us so we may stop thinking too much about what we are doing and as a result our ability
to communicate slowly deteriorates.
In most cases the decline is gradual so we do not notice it until we realise we are
regularly experiencing difficulties understanding other people or we notice other people
frequently misunderstand us.
Even when this happens, the normal Human Defensive Response is to believe this is
the fault of the person or people with whom we are communicating; either that they are
confusing us or that are not really listening to what we say.
Fortunately, we can easily prevent our communication skills deteriorating by complying
with the 5 Tests Rule.
The 5 Tests Rule
Every time we pass information or make a request we must ensure we can give positive
answers to the following five questions.
Is what we are communicating;
1 adequately detailed and correct in terms of Content?
2 being directed to the correct person or people?
3 being delivered for the correct reason?
4 being delivered at the appropriate time?
5 being delivered in an appropriate way?
Keep all communication as simple as possible.
Use words people will understand.
When using ‘jargon’ (technical words or terms specific to a particular trade, profession
or discipline) ensure those with whom you are communicating understand the terms and
expressions being used.
When using acronyms (a collection of letters used to represent a name, such as USA
for United States of America) ensure those with whom you are communicating
understand what the acronym represents.
Create short sentences that cover just one point rather than long sentences that cover
several.
Start by stating your objective and explaining its relevance and then reveal supporting
and related facts, points, arguments or ideas in a logical sequence. Finish with a
definite conclusion or by clearly asking for specific input or action.
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Also, organise your thoughts into mental ‘bullet points’ when covering several related
items because:
They help people focus on the essential elements
They make the total message easier to understand
They help people identify common traits or correlations
They make it easier to remember the content
When covering several items whilst speaking reveal or ‘tick off’ the fingers of one hand
to emphasise points because listeners will relate this visual activity to written bullet
points and gain all the above advantages.
Try to avoid making more than five points in any single message, written or spoken,
because the Human Mind is accustomed to thinking in groups of up to five – and six
points seems to be a lot more than five points.
If it is necessary to cover more points try to divide them into groups that each contain no
more than five individual points.
If presenting a lot of information at a Meeting or Briefing support the information with
relevant written notes.
When following the above practise tell the listener’s in advance that they will receive
written notes so they are not distracted by making their own notes or by worrying about
what they may forget.
Also, when following the above practise, decide whether to distribute the notes at the
beginning or at the end of the meeting, or at some point in between. Distributing notes
early can help listeners follow a complex presentation although it can also be distracting
and allow them to move beyond the point being discussed.
Understanding the dangers of Egocentric Communication
Egocentric (I am the centre of everything) Communication is a term used to describe the
process by which incomplete or inadequate information is communicated because the
person who originates the message assumes that what they know is clearly apparent to
their audience.
A typical example is experienced when halfway through a conversation someone goes
off at a tangent, or even starts a new conversation without revealing what the tangential
or new conversation is about.
This situation can arise because Human Beings have the ability to think abstract
thoughts and this allows them to create temporary perspectives and ‘see’ situations
from different points of view. Of course, the person doing this is the only one who
knows what they are thinking. If they then base a suggestion, an instruction or a
discussion on these thoughts but omit to explain the ideas or assumptions upon which
the suggestion, instruction or discussion is based, the people they address become
confused.
Those people usually make a guess as to what has been omitted and this may be
incorrect, or they may immediately ask questions which will disrupt the flow of
information and possibly cause further confusion.
This reflects the dangers of Egocentric Communication, and all this confusion can be
avoided by employing a simple technique called ‘signposting’.
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Signposting
First, we signpost the direction in which we intend to move the discussion by giving a
brief indication of what we are going to talk about so our listeners know what to expect.
We also explain the context or relevance of what we will talk about because adults
crave context and relevance as this explains why they are being given the information
and also indicates what they are supposed to do with it. This is especially important if
the subject is new to them.
Second, we signpost the fact that we have arrived at our subject by presenting the main
elements (key points) of what we have to say – using ‘bullet point thinking’.
As we do this we should study the listener’s reactions and look for any clues that may
suggest they are confused or do not understand. We should then ask pertinent
questions, the answers to which provide confirmation that our listeners understand the
key points.
Third and finally, we signpost where we have been and summarise the main points we
want our listener(s) to remember or consider - and reiterate the actions to be taken.
This technique can also be used effectively in any form of written or digital
communication that conveys complex information.
Speaking or Talking
Talking is an accessible, simple, fast and cost effective means of communicating.
Research by Albert Mehrabian revealed some significant facts that all Managers need
to understand if they are to fully identify and utilise the opportunities that simply talking
offers them.
Talking has three main elements;
1. Words
2. Voice tone
3. Facial expressions and other body language
Mehrabian showed that each of these elements contributes independently to how
effectively a talker conveys their message. His findings are based upon measurements
taken when two people were talking face to face and employing ‘normal’ levels of
emotion.
The research indicated that facial expressions and other body language contributed
more than 50% to the influencing effect of a message delivered in a ‘conversational’
style, and voice tone accounted for nearly 40% more.
Clearly, this indicates the actual words contribute only about 10% which may seem
unlikely although a very brief study of Human Development indicates we have only been
able to speak for a relatively short while compared to our total evolutionary period; and
we still managed to communicate effectively in order to co-operate within fairly
extensive communities, to travel vast distances and to survive.
Also, many people have heard others complain; ‘It wasn’t what they said but the way
they said it’, and many more people have felt slighted or become upset because a
glance or a brusque response has communicated more than the words that were
spoken.
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This tends to support Mehrabian’s argument that facial expressions, body language and
voice tone have a significant effect on the way the message we are transmitting is
received and it is more important that we remember than to concern ourselves about
the precise percentage each contributes.
Using positive body language
Although there is much confusion and misunderstanding about how to read body
language and what each movement or pose is supposed to signify, the following
guidelines concentrate the Communicator’s mind upon what is significant.
1. Each of us has been studying and using Body Language and Facial
Expressions since the moment we first managed to focus our eyes, and
although we received no formal lessons in the language we managed to
learn it and use it with a significant level of success.
2. Whilst there are a few common factors (smiling, avoiding eye contact,
wringing hands, etc.) the details of most Body Language and Facial
Expressions are unique to each Individual and will vary according to the
circumstances that person is experiencing and their current emotional state.
Therefore, all contributory factors must be taken into account when
attempting to read body language.
3. The best way to read another person’s body language is to study the
mannerisms and facial expressions they adopt in partnership with easily
identified behaviour. We then learn to interpret that person’s individual body
language and to assess their opinions even when they are not speaking.
4. If we honestly and passionately believe in what we are saying and doing -
our natural body language will endorse what we say.
5. When talking we must encourage our listeners to focus upon our face and
hands because these help us communicate most effectively. This means
we must avoid distractions such as rocking from one foot to the other and
fidgeting with pens, fingers, hair, etc.
6. We must look people in the eyes when we are speaking and listening to
them – but not stare at them.
2. Direct Communication – Receiving - Listening Effectively
Listening is an important part of communicating because it comprises one half of a two
way process.
Unfortunately, few people are actually taught to listen effectively and they rely upon
habits they have developed and which may not enable them to utilise all the facilities
they can call upon.
Listening is an extension of Hearing. Listening means that we are focused upon detail
whereas Hearing indicates a willing acceptance of whatever sounds activate our
eardrums.
Human Beings’ audible input occurs through three phases; Hearing, Active Listening
and Participative or Responsive Listening.
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Phase 1 - Hearing
A normally healthy person is engaged in the Hearing Phase at all times, even when they
are asleep. During this phase the mind registers and accepts commonplace sounds.
This phase persists until the Mind identifies a sound such as an alarm or a name that
provokes interest, at which moment it elevates the hearing response into the Active
Listening phase.
Phase 2 - Active Listening
The mind is interested in what is heard and may remember often repeated sounds or
those that are considered to offer particular benefits.
Phase 3 – Responsive Listening
The mind is focused on specific sounds and remembers and analyses them for future
reference and in order to respond or request more information.
Clearly, the Responsive Listening phase is the most effective if we wish to analyse what
we hear and then respond in the most appropriate manner. Learning to engage the
phase at will enhances our ability to understand what is being said; and as a better
understanding enables us to make a more valuable contribution it is clear that listening
with this advanced acuity will also help us deploy more influence.
We can engage the Responsive Listening phase at will by
1. Always looking into the face of the person who is talking in order to read
their facial expressions, and by listening carefully to their tone of voice, the
pace at which they speak and how much they hesitate between phrases or
sentences. When talking on the telephone we cannot see the other
person’s expressions and even video ‘phone images can be slow or
distorted so we must concentrate even more on tonal quality and the pace
at which they speak.
2. Showing an interest in what is being said. Unobtrusive nodding and
murmuring to indicate our understanding encourages the speaker and also
helps us to retain information.
3. Not interrupting. It is better not to disrupt the speaker’s flow but to make
notes of things about which we would like more information, and then ask
for this when the speaker has finished their delivery.
4. Clarifying things in our own mind and memory by making lists of the key
points.
5. Empathising with the speaker – trying to see things from their point of view
before we speak out in query or in opposition.
6. Being positive, and always seeking something to agree with and build on
before we begin to oppose what is being said.
Earlier we considered Albert Mehrabian experiments that indicated around 55% of our
spoken communication is delivered through body language. This indicates we should
listen with their eyes in addition to our ears.
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3. Direct Communication - Questioning
Questions are employed to
Build or develop relationships – e.g. ‘How are you?’
Obtain new information – ‘e.g. Can you tell me ……?’
Validate or expand our understanding of information we have received –
e.g. ‘Are you saying …..?’
Validate a listener’s understanding of something we have said – e.g. ‘How
do you think you will use what I have said?’
To create distraction or avoid having to answer a question – e.g. ‘Before I
answer that can you tell me …..?
Types of Questions
There are 8 main question types. They each have a specific purpose which produces
both advantages and disadvantages so it is important to ensure the correct type is used
to achieve the desired objective.
The most common types of questions are Open and Closed, followed by
Supplementary, Keyword or Reflective, Multiple choice, Hypothetical, Leading and
under some circumstances the use of a Deliberate silence.
Closed questions limit the possible response and often require a ‘yes’ or ‘no’
answer. They can be useful to confirm a specific point or to obtain specific
information, and to help the questioner maintain control of the exchange.
However, they limit the amount of information received, they may irritate the
Responder and they tend to inhibit the flow of conversation.
Open questions invite the Responder to state and justify their personal opinions
and beliefs. This can provide the Questioner with substantial information and
help to develop a more in depth conversation and relationship.
However, they can encourage lengthy replies, cause a loss of focus and allow
the Responder to assume control of the conversation.
Supplementary or follow up questions may be either open or closed and are
used to obtain more information or more detail. In addition to clarifying or
amplifying facts or feelings they also help to maintain focus and prove the
Questioner is listening.
The disadvantages are that they can appear intimidating or encourage lengthy
replies that allow the Responder to control the conversation.
Keyword or Reflective questions are similar to Supplementary Questions but
are achieved by repeating a word or expression already used by Responder.
This is subtle form of questioning that does not inhibit the Responder or
influence them to reply in a particular manner. These enable the Responder to
clarify or amplify facts or feelings whilst maintaining focus, and also prove the
Questioner is listening.
A potential disadvantage is that if the Questioner does not maintain focus they
may pass control to the Responder.
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Multiple choice questions offer set alternatives which maintain focus, and
dependent upon the replies given may establish either consistency or
inconsistency in the Responder’s replies compared either with their own earlier
responses or with other Responders’ answers to similar questions.
Whilst this makes it easier to analyse responses it does limit the Responder’s
choice by restricting possible alternatives, and it does not allow the Responder
to be creative in their responses if that element is required.
Hypothetical questions require a considered response to an imaginary
circumstance. These may reveal the Responder’s ability to be creative or
logical and they can be used to suggest a Responder’s probable reaction to the
imagined circumstances.
However, they also allow a Responder to guess at the desired answer and may
not reveal how they will actually react to the circumstances.
Leading questions indicates a specific or restricted response is required and
can be used to confirm a listener understands significant facts or feelings.
They also maintain focus and prove the Questioner is listening
Some people may feel such questions are bullying or pointless as they almost
demand a specific response and incline the Responder to answer in the
manner they feel is expected. For this reason these are not as effective as
Keyword, Reflective or Supplementary.
Deliberate silence creates an audible ‘space’ and can be used in combination
with a facial expression or mannerism to support the Questioner’s silence and
emphasise the desire for more information. This is meant to make the
Responder feel obliged to fill the silence by encouraging them to share
information they possibly do not wish to disclose.
A possible advantage is that the silence provides the Responder with time to
consider their reply, but this can also appear intimidating, cause
embarrassment and result in low quality responses.
Productive Questioning Guidelines
These guidelines help Questioners obtain the best possible responses to the questions
they ask.
The purpose, reason or context of the question should be explained where
this is necessary or appropriate.
Questions should be constructed in a way that makes them easy to
understand.
Questions should be asked in a manner that clearly implies the Responder
is considered able to provide a relevant and detailed answer.
Questions should be asked in a non-hostile manner in order to elicit the best
response, (unless trying to provoke someone who is concealing information
into giving a defensive or aggressive response.)
Questions should be asked one at a time rather in a barrage as this will
enable the answers to be delivered in a more orderly fashion which will also
make it easier to understand the answers.
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The ‘Funnel’ Technique
The ‘Funnel’ Technique is designed to invite responders to provide a great deal of
information which the questioner refines by asking more and more focused questions
until a definitive answer is identified.
This is achieved by asking an ‘open’ question and gradually restricting the possible
responses by using Supplementary and Keyword then Multiple Choice and finally
Closed questions.
This technique allows the questioner to obtain the information they require in a
controlled manner because they choose what questions to ask based upon the
responses they receive. However, the responder believes they are in control because
they appear to be able to provide whatever answer they wish.
Summary
Communication is what Human Beings do to transfer information between two or
more people.
Human Beings have the advantage of being able to communicate either Directly
or Indirectly.
All communication has three elements; Transmitting, Receiving and Questioning.
The value of any communication can be measured by the appropriateness of the
response it generates.
Apply the 5 Tests Rule
Keep all communication as simple as possible.
Employ Signposting to overcome Egocentric Communication
Talking has three main elements; Words, Voice tone, and Facial expressions
combined with other body language
Listening is an important part of communicating because it comprises one half of
a two way process.
Human Beings’ audible input occurs through three phases; Hearing, Active
Listening and Participative or Responsive Listening.
Responsive Listening focuses on specific sounds and remembers and analyses
them for future reference in order to respond or to request more information.
There are 8 main question types that have specific purpose which produces both
advantages and disadvantages
Productive Questioning Guidelines help Questioners obtain the best possible
responses to the questions they ask.
The ‘Funnel’ Technique allows the questioner to obtain the information they
require in a controlled manner
Our ten minutes is up
Good Communication is a huge subject and there is a lot more we could cover if we had
enough Time – but this is simply a ‘tune up’ exercise and we have used the Ten
Minutes we allocated.
If you would like to know more about our comprehensive Communication Skills
Workshops which please contact us via info@aims-training.com.
We strongly recommend you complete the following Review and Action Plan because
putting thoughts into writing improves their clarity and increases the probability of both
remembering them and of actually taking value adding action.
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Review and Action Plan
What have I learned or remembered because I read this Ten Minute Tune Up?
What ACTION will I adopt as a result of this input?
What Benefits will these changes deliver?
The Aims Training and Development Concept is based upon the belief expressed on
the calendar page shown below, and when you have time you may wish to read the
brief history that follows.
A Quick Overview of Basic Research and Aims History
Aims (Personal & Management Development) was born in 2001
– but the Action Based concept upon which it is formed was
actually concieved on 9th July 1986. That day’s entry on Alan
Davey’s desk calender, ‘Many people have a good aim in life,
but they don’t pull the trigger’, resonated with him and caused
him to seek answers to the following question
“What prevents people ‘pulling the trigger’ and implementing
their ideas when these could improve the future for themselves
and for the Company or Organisation in which the work?”
The answers from people working in teams Alan was associated
with throughout the UK, Europe and Scandinavia indicated there
were many reasons why people resisted implementing or
proposing new ideas that could change their life or could
improve the way they worked.
The following reasons recurred frequently when people were asked why they did not
contribute more ideas that could improve work processes and/or business growth;
No trusted means by which suggestions for improvement could be made!
Being uncertain if the idea was valid/ if the implementation was feasible
Not wishing to appear ‘pushy’
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Fear of upsetting their Manager by thinking ‘outside their prescribed job role’
Fear of distancing themselves from colleagues
Fear of feeling stupid if the idea was rejected
Fear of blame if the idea was adopted but failed to bring benefits
Not knowing how to make a viable proposal to Senior Management
Unwillingness to take responsibility for moving the business into new markets or
into new countries.
When the same question was extended to more than 100 other contacts with roles in
businesses operating in many different sectors their answers reflected a similar mixture
which essentially indicated an absence of objectivity, a relative lack of self-confidence,
insufficient overall business knowledge or skill, and a fear of the consequences caused
by failure - or even by success.
Many people also identified a lack of (or poorly communicated) mid to long term goals
as a major reason for not developing ideas or developing their own abilities.
Clearly, this damaging negativity limited the very innovation that could help Companies
prosper, and it also limited the lives and the prospects of employees and everyone
associated with the Company.
Because all of Alan’s Management experience indicated that most people want to
perform at their best and will do so when adequately motivated and supported, he
believed the right type of training would change this situation. He began to research
and then produce practical and participative Goal Driven workshops which combined
Management & Leadership Training to improve Strategy, Communication and
Company Culture
Business Skills Training to improve general skills
Personal Development Training to increase confidence
The Aims Principles to keep everything Goal Focused and Action Oriented
Over the next 13 years the workshops and principles were used internally by the various
Companies with which Alan was very closely associated and by Aims (Consultancy) in
what has now become the ‘Aims Plan for Profit’ and ‘Plan for Growth’ Business
Development tools.
However, in the New Millenium it was decided to make the well proven programmes
available to everyone via Aims (Personal & Management Development) which soon
became Aims Training & Development Ltd and incorporated Aims (Consultancy).
Shortly after this the Institute of Leadership & Management (ILM) gave its Approval to
the Programmes and this has been maintained as the individual workshops have been
regularly updated to reflect Clients’ changing requirements and the Cultural or
Economic shifts that have occurred recently.
Aims’ Goal Focused and Action Oriented approach always adds value in expected
and/or unexpected ways because of the level of Client and Delegate involvement that is
achieved. This and the constantly applied Accelerated Learning techniques, stringent
requirements for implementing measurable improvements that add Value, and an
uncompromising adherence to ‘real world’ practicalities ensure a significant return is
always achieved from the investment made.
Ten years on, in 2011/12, Aims’ policy of constantly pushing boundaries will again be
endorsed when the Company releases another new training concept designed to meet
most Organisations’ Contemporary and Ongoing needs.
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